Благотворное средство от прыщей
Описание
Пока Гиппокамп хвастается своим изобретением — часами, Джошуа, Мириам и Шелли указывают на прыщ на его теле, пока он не лопается, когда начинает злиться на людей. После того, как он жалуется на это своей семье, Гиппокамп просит Делирию о помощи и устраивают ему встречу с полубогом доктором Паулакисом в Дермиаполисе. После того, как прыщ исчезает, доктор Паулакис уговаривает Гиппокампа сделать реконструктивную операцию, которая даёт ему привлекательный внешний вид, но ценой потери интеллекта. Тем временем Ступендус советует Тираннусу установить статую на месте, где раньше лежала куча мёртвых лошадей. Шлуб и Гиппокамп нанимают Энтоха, известного тем, что он создавал статуи для царя Йорбуса и царя Глорбуса, чтобы тот сделал статую Тиранна, позирующего обнажённым перед учениками Энтоха.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,639 --> 00:00:04,677 Hippocampus: So, as you can see, this pointer,
- 00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:05,978 or "hand" as I call it,
- 00:00:06,112 --> 00:00:08,383 travels around the circle once per hour.
- 00:00:08,450 --> 00:00:10,086 Now, what do I mean when I say "hour"?
- 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,692 Joshua: I have a question. What's with that zit?
- 00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:14,495 Hippocampus: It's nothing. It's a zit. Whatever.
- 00:00:14,596 --> 00:00:17,234 So, the beauty of this "clock" is that--
- 00:00:17,301 --> 00:00:19,338 Miriam: Are you gonna pop that thing? Or can I?
- 00:00:19,438 --> 00:00:21,209 Hippocampus: You guys, what I'm showing you here
- 00:00:21,276 --> 00:00:23,246 is probably the most useful thing that I've ever invented.
- 00:00:23,346 --> 00:00:25,216 Shelly: Is it hot to the touch? Hippocampus: The clock?
- 00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:26,620 Shelly: No, the thing on your face.
- 00:00:26,753 --> 00:00:27,889 Joshua: What's a clock?
- 00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,092 Hippocampus: It's what I'm showing you!
- 00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:30,595 It's the thing behind me.
- 00:00:30,695 --> 00:00:32,231 Miriam: How can anyone focus on that when
- 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,402 you've got this massive weeping zit
- 00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:35,605 staring at us?
- 00:00:35,705 --> 00:00:37,542 Hippocampus: It's just dead skin and excess oil.
- 00:00:37,643 --> 00:00:39,412 Joshua: Are you trying to make us sick?
- 00:00:39,513 --> 00:00:41,049 Hippocampus: I'm trying to show you
- 00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:42,385 a life-changing invention.
- 00:00:42,485 --> 00:00:44,388 Miriam: Look how it moves when he talks.
- 00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:45,925 Hippocampus: All right, you know what?
- 00:00:46,025 --> 00:00:47,395 This thing is too good for you people.
- 00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:48,965 I'm showing you the future of civilization
- 00:00:49,098 --> 00:00:50,467 and all you care about is my face?
- 00:00:50,568 --> 00:00:52,639 I'll tell you what time it is: it's time for you
- 00:00:52,739 --> 00:00:54,375 to grow up! Grow up!
- 00:00:54,509 --> 00:00:56,445 Joshua: Look out, it's gonna blow!
- 00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:58,751 Citizens: Aah! Oh!
- 00:01:09,639 --> 00:01:10,841 Singers: ♪ Huh ♪
- 00:01:14,883 --> 00:01:19,459 ♪ Huh huh huh huh ♪
- 00:01:19,593 --> 00:01:21,329 ♪ Whoo ♪
- 00:01:23,634 --> 00:01:26,006 Tyrannis: Great news, everyone. Our pile of dead horses
- 00:01:26,106 --> 00:01:27,609 has finally been cleared by wolves.
- 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,311 So, now we've got a small wolf problem,
- 00:01:29,411 --> 00:01:30,982 but a nice patch of land
- 00:01:31,115 --> 00:01:32,552 in the town square for public use.
- 00:01:32,652 --> 00:01:34,623 Shlub: I thought the pile of dead horses
- 00:01:34,690 --> 00:01:35,925 was for public use.
- 00:01:36,059 --> 00:01:37,260 Stupendous: So, what are you gonna put there?
- 00:01:37,361 --> 00:01:38,698 Tyrannis: I was thinking we plant a tree.
- 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,501 One of those super old trees that everyone loves.
- 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,739 It won't be old when we plant it, but in 100 years--
- 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,680 Stupendous: Boring! You wanna know what we need? A statue.
- 00:01:46,813 --> 00:01:48,149 Tyrannis: A statue? Of whom?
- 00:01:48,216 --> 00:01:49,887 Stupendous: Of youm, ya nimrod!
- 00:01:49,987 --> 00:01:51,923 I was just in Argos and they have this
- 00:01:52,057 --> 00:01:53,628 huge statue of their king on a horse.
- 00:01:53,728 --> 00:01:56,132 Gave the whole town a thing to rally behind.
- 00:01:56,232 --> 00:01:58,102 And it was a blast to tear down.
- 00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:00,508 So, I was thinking, you're always complaining
- 00:02:00,608 --> 00:02:02,478 people don't show you enough respect
- 00:02:02,579 --> 00:02:04,482 and blah blah blah. But maybe
- 00:02:04,616 --> 00:02:06,620 it's just cuz they forget you're their leader.
- 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,992 Deliria: Leader of what? Tyrannis: Are you really asking that
- 00:02:09,092 --> 00:02:10,795 or are you just trying to make me feel bad?
- 00:02:10,895 --> 00:02:12,431 Deliria: Mmm...give me a clue.
- 00:02:12,497 --> 00:02:15,471 Tyrannis: Krapopolis, this city! Deliria: Krapopolis, of course.
- 00:02:15,572 --> 00:02:17,307 Shlub: I think a statue is a great idea.
- 00:02:17,374 --> 00:02:19,379 A heroic pose, you leading the charge,
- 00:02:19,479 --> 00:02:22,952 toga blowing in the breeze, maybe show a little skin.
- 00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:25,190 Tyrannis: I'm not doing that. Deliria: Oh, I know what's happening.
- 00:02:25,257 --> 00:02:26,727 He's insecure about his body.
- 00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:28,463 Stupendous: Great call. Tyrannis: Nope, nothing could be
- 00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:30,133 further from the truth. I simply don't want to
- 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,469 shove my face in everyone's face.
- 00:02:31,603 --> 00:02:33,106 I love this city too much to do that.
- 00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:34,810 Hippocampus: It's official. I hate this city.
- 00:02:34,877 --> 00:02:37,782 I just showed them the most important invention since forks
- 00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:39,586 and all they can focus on is my appearance.
- 00:02:39,686 --> 00:02:41,657 Deliria: Yes, what is going on with your appearance?
- 00:02:41,724 --> 00:02:43,160 Hippocampus: Well, like most living creatures,
- 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:45,097 I sometimes get pimples, and apparently,
- 00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:46,567 that's all that anyone can focus on.
- 00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,303 Tyrannis: It's all I'm focusing on.
- 00:02:48,403 --> 00:02:49,806 Stupendous: There's almost nothing else visible in there.
- 00:02:49,906 --> 00:02:51,510 Shlub: Whoever cursed you, she did a great job.
- 00:02:51,577 --> 00:02:53,179 Hippocampus: It's not a curse. This pimple
- 00:02:53,279 --> 00:02:54,616 is naturally occurring. Shlub: No such thing.
- 00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:56,018 Hippocampus: Mom, can you just get rid of this?
- 00:02:56,152 --> 00:02:57,254 It doesn't bother me but it's
- 00:02:57,354 --> 00:02:58,490 interfering with the part of my job
- 00:02:58,624 --> 00:03:00,126 where I unveil something brilliant
- 00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:01,530 and everyone knows I'm brilliant.
- 00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:02,866 Deliria: Oh, I wouldn't trust myself to
- 00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:04,235 take on a pimple like that.
- 00:03:04,302 --> 00:03:06,039 But I have a fantastic skin guy.
- 00:03:06,139 --> 00:03:08,243 Dr. Paulakis. He's a genius.
- 00:03:08,343 --> 00:03:09,512 Hippocampus: Let's not throw that word around.
- 00:03:09,679 --> 00:03:11,182 He's a skin guy. Deliria: He happens
- 00:03:11,248 --> 00:03:12,519 to be a demigod, but he has
- 00:03:12,653 --> 00:03:14,823 the pore-clearing powers of a full one.
- 00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:16,693 Hippocampus: Fine. Let's just get this thing off my face
- 00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:18,463 so I can get back to everyone knowing how smart I am.
- 00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:20,702 Deliria: Oh, I love it! A spa weekend!
- 00:03:20,802 --> 00:03:22,739 Hippocampus: Not a spa weekend, a spa hour
- 00:03:22,806 --> 00:03:24,843 at most, and you'd know what an hour was
- 00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:26,379 if I didn't have this zit!
- 00:03:27,014 --> 00:03:28,316 Shlub: Look at this statue here.
- 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,786 It's absolutely gorgeous, correct?
- 00:03:29,886 --> 00:03:32,859 Six-pack abs, every muscle perfectly sculpted.
- 00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:34,763 The butt, muscular yet inviting.
- 00:03:34,863 --> 00:03:37,702 Stupendous: I'd lick that statue from top to bottom.
- 00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:39,271 Shlub: I'd meet you in the middle.
- 00:03:39,372 --> 00:03:40,642 Tyrannis: Yes, it's a beautiful statue.
- 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,846 Why do I care? Shlub: Because, my dear boy,
- 00:03:42,946 --> 00:03:44,582 this is a statue of King Jorbus.
- 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,920 Tyrannis: Who's King Jorbus? Stupendous: He's that dog-faced
- 00:03:47,054 --> 00:03:48,256 king from downriver.
- 00:03:48,323 --> 00:03:49,559 Tyrannis: Oh, that guy? He's a dog!
- 00:03:49,693 --> 00:03:51,262 Stupendous: Yeah, a big, lumpy,
- 00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:52,465 hairy, ugly dog.
- 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,669 Tyrannis: Mangy, jowly, drooling...
- 00:03:54,769 --> 00:03:56,372 Shlub: I picture King Jorbus whenever
- 00:03:56,472 --> 00:03:58,343 I need to slow things down with your mother,
- 00:03:58,476 --> 00:03:59,580 if you know what I mean!
- 00:03:59,713 --> 00:04:01,115 Stupendous: Dad, we were having fun.
- 00:04:01,215 --> 00:04:02,451 Shlub: And so were your mother and I--
- 00:04:02,586 --> 00:04:04,623 too much!--until I thought of King Jorbus.
- 00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:06,092 Stupendous: The point is, we found the sculptor
- 00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:07,428 who did this, and he says he can
- 00:04:07,529 --> 00:04:08,664 do the same for you.
- 00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:10,668 Tyrannis: Wow. A statue like this of me?
- 00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:12,772 OK, I'm going to make a small confession here.
- 00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:14,341 Stupendous: You're ashamed of your body. Tyrannis: I'm ashamed of--no.
- 00:04:14,475 --> 00:04:15,678 Stupendous: We said it earlier.
- 00:04:15,778 --> 00:04:17,014 Tyrannis: But you were wrong then because
- 00:04:17,148 --> 00:04:18,082 you didn't know, whereas now you
- 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,452 do know because I'm telling you.
- 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:20,888 Shlub: Well, I'd say it was pretty clear.
- 00:04:20,988 --> 00:04:22,491 Tyrannis: No, it wasn't. You were speculating.
- 00:04:22,592 --> 00:04:23,861 Stupendous: Correctly. Tyrannis: Incorrectly.
- 00:04:23,961 --> 00:04:24,897 But in a way that coincidentally
- 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,165 echoed a hidden truth:
- 00:04:26,265 --> 00:04:27,769 I am ashamed of my body. OK.
- 00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:29,706 Tyrannis: But if this guy can make Jorbus look this good,
- 00:04:29,806 --> 00:04:31,877 he could certainly touch up my few minor flaws!
- 00:04:31,977 --> 00:04:35,050 You know, the handful of things that no one else notices
- 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,186 but that I focus on.
- 00:04:36,286 --> 00:04:37,487 Stupendous: Like super-skinny arms.
- 00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:39,626 Shlub: Or your completely outsized head.
- 00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:41,195 Tyrannis: We don't need to list them.
- 00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:42,331 Stupendous: Oooh! That patch of eczema that led
- 00:04:42,464 --> 00:04:43,634 Hippo to discover eczema.
- 00:04:43,734 --> 00:04:44,970 Shlub: The knees. Stupendous: Oh, yeah!
- 00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:46,172 Shlub: Those baggy nipples.
- 00:04:46,272 --> 00:04:47,308 Tyrannis: They're only baggy because
- 00:04:47,441 --> 00:04:48,510 Stupe keeps twisting them!
- 00:04:48,644 --> 00:04:50,046 Stupendous: Or do I twist 'em
- 00:04:50,146 --> 00:04:51,315 because they're baggy?
- 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,720 It's a chicken and the egg situation.
- 00:04:53,821 --> 00:04:54,556 But with nipples.
- 00:04:54,622 --> 00:04:55,858 Shlub: Baggy nipples!
- 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,968 Stupendous: But, yeah, I think this guy could
- 00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:02,404 touch all that up.
- 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,375 Hippocampus: I don't get it. I thought one of
- 00:05:04,441 --> 00:05:05,377 the perks of being an immortal
- 00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:06,613 is that you have no flaws.
- 00:05:06,713 --> 00:05:08,116 Deliria: Please. Beauty amongst gods
- 00:05:08,249 --> 00:05:09,520 is a competitive business.
- 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,355 Last year, I was in the sauna here with Demeter!
- 00:05:11,455 --> 00:05:12,692 "Goddess of Grain" is right!
- 00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:14,495 She should try being the "Goddess of
- 00:05:14,596 --> 00:05:16,633 Lean Protein" for a bit.
- 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,472 Sherry: Welcome to Dermiapolis Aesthetic Lab.
- 00:05:19,606 --> 00:05:21,643 Hippocampus: "Lab"? Pfft. We're barely inside
- 00:05:21,744 --> 00:05:23,547 and already swimming in pseudoscience.
- 00:05:23,647 --> 00:05:25,450 Deliria: Oh, stop. Cosmetologists are just
- 00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:26,987 chemists who have sex.
- 00:05:27,054 --> 00:05:29,258 Uh, Deliria, Goddess, the.
- 00:05:29,425 --> 00:05:30,695 We're here to see Dr. Paulakis.
- 00:05:30,795 --> 00:05:33,801 Dr. Paulakis: Deliria! Deliria: Dr. Paulakis!
- 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,038 Dr. Paulakis: Ahh! You don't look a day over
- 00:05:36,139 --> 00:05:37,474 7 million billion.
- 00:05:37,575 --> 00:05:38,778 Deliria: Mwah! Mwah!
- 00:05:38,878 --> 00:05:40,246 Dr. Paulakis: I've got some cream for that.
- 00:05:40,347 --> 00:05:41,482 Deliria: For what?
- 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,519 Dr. Paulakis: Don't worry about it.
- 00:05:42,652 --> 00:05:43,788 And this must be your--
- 00:05:43,955 --> 00:05:46,827 absolutely gigantic nodular papule.
- 00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:49,164 Hippocampus: I'm Hippocampus. Her son.
- 00:05:49,298 --> 00:05:51,069 Deliria: Yes, can you do anything for him?
- 00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:54,275 Dr. Paulakis: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm mm-hmm mm-hmm,
- 00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:57,782 uh-huh, uh-uh, ahhh...
- 00:05:57,882 --> 00:05:59,620 and the pimple is the only thing we're doing today?
- 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,924 Hippocampus: Yes. Dr. Paulakis: That's a damn shame.
- 00:06:01,991 --> 00:06:04,028 Tell me, Hippo, how do you wash your face?
- 00:06:04,094 --> 00:06:05,565 Hippocampus: Um, with water?
- 00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,702 Dr. Paulakis: Water?! Nooooo!
- 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,473 I'm not hearing this, Deliria. Zap my ears off!
- 00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:11,977 No, seriously, do it. They grow back
- 00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:13,346 so smooth, like a baby's.
- 00:06:13,447 --> 00:06:15,618 Deliria: Dr. Paulakis says that water
- 00:06:15,684 --> 00:06:17,589 loads your face with toxins.
- 00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:19,626 Hippocampus: Can we stop pretending this is a medical thing
- 00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:21,462 and just pop the zit? Please?
- 00:06:21,563 --> 00:06:23,432 Deliria: Right. You'll have to forgive Hippocampus.
- 00:06:23,499 --> 00:06:25,070 He's a bit of a self-care skeptic.
- 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,707 Dr. Paulakis: Well, let's change that right now.
- 00:06:26,807 --> 00:06:28,443 Let me show you what we do here.
- 00:06:28,544 --> 00:06:30,614 This is our Dermatorium.
- 00:06:30,714 --> 00:06:32,718 Deliria: Everyone here is glowing!
- 00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:34,455 Do you milk your own fairies?
- 00:06:34,589 --> 00:06:35,858 Dr. Paulakis: On site! This is our
- 00:06:35,991 --> 00:06:36,826 physical therapy center.
- 00:06:36,927 --> 00:06:39,365 Hippocampus: Wow. Is that Achilles?
- 00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:40,901 Dr. Paulakis: Sure is. Achilles: Ahhhhh!
- 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,838 How do I always forget about those heels!
- 00:06:42,939 --> 00:06:46,278 It's almost like forgetfulness is my central flaw.
- 00:06:46,378 --> 00:06:47,648 Dr. Paulakis: In this room, we're using
- 00:06:47,748 --> 00:06:49,051 a simple prosthetic to turn
- 00:06:49,151 --> 00:06:51,355 a cyclops into a regularclops.
- 00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:54,462 Let's watch. Cyclops: I'm pretty!
- 00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:55,865 Hippocampus: What's going on in there?
- 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,635 Dr. Paulakis: We're giving a Kraken huge boobs.
- 00:06:57,735 --> 00:06:59,639 And the self-confidence to ask for a promotion.
- 00:06:59,739 --> 00:07:01,576 Hippocampus: How do you do that? Dr. Paulakis: The boobs.
- 00:07:01,643 --> 00:07:02,879 OK, that Kraken did look
- 00:07:03,046 --> 00:07:04,448 pretty thrilled with his new jugs, but
- 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,251 I'm skeptical of any medical facility
- 00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,622 that serves mimosas.
- 00:07:07,722 --> 00:07:08,958 Dr. Paulakis: Let's get that thing off your face
- 00:07:09,091 --> 00:07:10,627 before it orders lunch!
- 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,201 This might pinch a bit.
- 00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:16,806 Hippocampus: Aah!
- 00:07:18,744 --> 00:07:19,913 Dr. Paulakis: See for yourself.
- 00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:21,717 Hippocampus: I...I don't know what to say!
- 00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:23,253 What was in that syringe?!
- 00:07:23,353 --> 00:07:24,656 Dr. Paulakis: Mermaid pee-pee.
- 00:07:24,756 --> 00:07:26,125 It's the most astringent
- 00:07:26,225 --> 00:07:27,227 substance on Earth.
- 00:07:27,361 --> 00:07:28,731 Trust me, I've tasted them all.
- 00:07:28,831 --> 00:07:30,367 Merman: Hey, cutie. If you want to take care
- 00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:31,903 of that bacne, I've got a full tank.
- 00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:33,640 Just say the word. Hippocampus: I'm good.
- 00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:36,412 Dr. Paulakis: You are good. And don't you feel good?
- 00:07:36,513 --> 00:07:38,784 Hippocampus: Well, whatever emotional thing
- 00:07:38,884 --> 00:07:40,454 I'm feeling, it doesn't matter.
- 00:07:40,555 --> 00:07:42,458 All that matters is people will listen to me again.
- 00:07:42,559 --> 00:07:43,928 Dr. Paulakis: It's true. Medically speaking,
- 00:07:44,061 --> 00:07:45,565 people respect you more when you're
- 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:46,600 easy to look at.
- 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,269 Not to be indelicate, Hippo,
- 00:07:48,369 --> 00:07:49,639 but, uh...may I?
- 00:07:49,739 --> 00:07:53,145 Hippocampus: Oh, um... Oh, I don't, I don't--
- 00:07:53,279 --> 00:07:54,516 My cheekbones have cheekbones.
- 00:07:54,649 --> 00:07:56,720 You're telling me I could have bone structure?
- 00:07:56,853 --> 00:07:58,456 Dr. Paulakis: Any structure can have bones
- 00:07:58,558 --> 00:08:00,995 if you stick bones in it. And Hippo?
- 00:08:01,095 --> 00:08:02,865 We have so many bones.
- 00:08:07,675 --> 00:08:08,644 Hippocampus: Remind me what that
- 00:08:08,744 --> 00:08:10,047 scary-looking machine does?
- 00:08:10,147 --> 00:08:11,349 Dr. Paulakis: You're a man of science, so,
- 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:12,719 I won't mince words.
- 00:08:12,819 --> 00:08:13,820 These tube-y things suck some goop out of you,
- 00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:15,056 which makes you look hot.
- 00:08:15,156 --> 00:08:16,693 Hippocampus: What? What kind of "goop"?
- 00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,028 Dr. Paulakis: I don't know how much more
- 00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:19,666 detail you want than that, Mr. Hippo.
- 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,402 Sherry: Mimosa? You're gonna look
- 00:08:21,503 --> 00:08:22,638 sooo bony.
- 00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:24,174 Hippocampus: Could someone just say
- 00:08:24,307 --> 00:08:25,578 there's a medical reason why
- 00:08:25,644 --> 00:08:26,747 the mimosa is necessary?
- 00:08:26,847 --> 00:08:28,550 Deliria: Just drink the damn mimosa.
- 00:08:28,684 --> 00:08:30,086 It's a spa weekend.
- 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,757 Hippocampus: I guess it is.
- 00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:33,527 Um, should you be drinking
- 00:08:33,627 --> 00:08:38,637 right now--aghh-GGGaaah!
- 00:08:38,771 --> 00:08:40,541 Tyrannis: I love the way you did the muscles.
- 00:08:40,641 --> 00:08:42,077 Entochus: Yes, clients have been asking for
- 00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:44,214 more and more skin. Shlub: Love that stuff!
- 00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:46,753 Entochus: It just projects confidence, doesn't it?
- 00:08:46,853 --> 00:08:49,793 Honestly, the more they show, the cooler they seem.
- 00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:51,429 Tyrannis: You know what? What if we took
- 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:52,565 my statue further?
- 00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:54,334 What if we went fully nude?
- 00:08:54,502 --> 00:08:55,437 How bold would that be?
- 00:08:55,538 --> 00:08:56,673 The king with nothing to hide!
- 00:08:56,773 --> 00:08:57,742 Shlub: It's like they say:
- 00:08:57,808 --> 00:08:59,245 "You haven't had fun till /
- 00:08:59,378 --> 00:09:00,715 You've gone full frontal!"
- 00:09:00,781 --> 00:09:03,019 Do they say that? Or did I just make that up?
- 00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:04,287 I can't tell these days.
- 00:09:04,388 --> 00:09:05,924 Tyrannis: Let's do it! A nude statue!
- 00:09:06,058 --> 00:09:07,962 Stupendous: Who's this guy? He sounds like my brother
- 00:09:08,095 --> 00:09:10,702 but he's got the body confidence of a normal person.
- 00:09:10,802 --> 00:09:12,270 Tyrannis: Well, it's not that much of a risk.
- 00:09:12,337 --> 00:09:14,576 We all saw what this gifted sculptor did with Jorbus.
- 00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:16,345 I think I'm in pretty good hands.
- 00:09:16,445 --> 00:09:19,017 Entochus: I love it. So, just stand here and strip down.
- 00:09:19,117 --> 00:09:20,621 Tyrannis: Me strip? I assumed you could
- 00:09:20,788 --> 00:09:22,792 do the naked bits without actually seeing them.
- 00:09:22,925 --> 00:09:24,061 You can't just fill in the blanks?
- 00:09:24,161 --> 00:09:25,531 Stupendous: There's my brother back.
- 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:26,633 Entochus: Do you want me to strip down
- 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:27,669 to put you at ease?
- 00:09:27,769 --> 00:09:29,205 Shlub: I'm already naked.
- 00:09:29,305 --> 00:09:30,841 Stupendous: You want me to drop trou? I'll drop trou.
- 00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:32,111 Tyrannis: No one needs to drop trou.
- 00:09:32,211 --> 00:09:33,112 I've got this.
- 00:09:33,212 --> 00:09:34,749 The uh, the shirt as well?
- 00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:36,218 Entochus: Obviously.
- 00:09:36,352 --> 00:09:38,557 Stupendous: What the hell is that other thing you're wearing?
- 00:09:38,657 --> 00:09:39,692 Tyrannis: It's a new kind of garment.
- 00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:41,764 I call it "under-wear."
- 00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,703 Stupendous: "Under-wear"? Because you wear it
- 00:09:44,803 --> 00:09:46,205 under your clothes?
- 00:09:46,339 --> 00:09:48,644 That's the stupidest thing I ever heard of in my life.
- 00:09:48,711 --> 00:09:50,113 We don't have to stay for this, right?
- 00:09:50,213 --> 00:09:52,384 Shlub: Not if there's wine anywhere in the world.
- 00:09:52,484 --> 00:09:53,887 Tyrannis: OK, I'll just...
- 00:09:54,656 --> 00:09:57,628 Entochus: Oof. Students? You can come in now.
- 00:09:57,728 --> 00:09:59,131 Tyrannis: You have students?! Entochus: Of course.
- 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:01,570 I'm an artist. I have a huge ego. Ladies?
- 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:02,972 Tyrannis: Your students are women?
- 00:10:03,072 --> 00:10:04,743 Entochus: I have a god complex combined with
- 00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:06,111 psycho-sexual control issues.
- 00:10:06,211 --> 00:10:08,116 Why are we even having this conversation?
- 00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:10,454 Hippocampus: So, the hand travels around the circle,
- 00:10:10,555 --> 00:10:11,957 indicating the movement of time.
- 00:10:12,057 --> 00:10:14,662 Woman #1: That is so smart. Woman #2: Absolute genius.
- 00:10:14,763 --> 00:10:16,800 Hippocampus: Thank you! This fish-man
- 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,803 could get fish-used to this.
- 00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,975 Deliria: Aha. Can we skip the part
- 00:10:21,075 --> 00:10:23,045 where I say, "I don't want to say I told you so,"
- 00:10:23,146 --> 00:10:24,849 and get right to the "I told you so"?
- 00:10:24,949 --> 00:10:26,485 Because: I told you so.
- 00:10:26,587 --> 00:10:27,889 Hippocampus: Go ahead and tell me so.
- 00:10:27,989 --> 00:10:29,559 All I know is it was a hell of a lot easier
- 00:10:29,659 --> 00:10:30,795 holding their attention looking like this.
- 00:10:30,895 --> 00:10:32,598 Deliria: Oh, my boy, all of life is
- 00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:33,833 easier when you're hot.
- 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,469 And what makes it even easier than that
- 00:10:35,537 --> 00:10:37,440 is when people you're with are hot
- 00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,111 or at least not not hot,
- 00:10:39,211 --> 00:10:41,349 so you don't have to deal with their insecurities.
- 00:10:41,482 --> 00:10:44,188 Such a drag. Did you want a refill on that mimosa?
- 00:10:44,288 --> 00:10:46,425 Hippocampus: Yeah, I just need to get the server's attention.
- 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:48,195 Deliria: No, you don't. Just stare at your
- 00:10:48,295 --> 00:10:51,435 empty glass and make the slightest frown.
- 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:54,609 Sherry: Let me get that for you. Hippocampus: Unbelievable.
- 00:10:54,742 --> 00:10:55,811 It's like a superpower.
- 00:10:55,911 --> 00:10:57,414 Deliria: Welcome to hotness,
- 00:10:57,548 --> 00:10:58,783 where everyone works for you
- 00:10:58,884 --> 00:11:01,021 and everything is free.
- 00:11:02,491 --> 00:11:04,495 Entochus: Wow, there's a lot of detail
- 00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:05,798 on this guy, huh, ladies?
- 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:07,568 Student: Yeah, are you guys seeing this fold
- 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,704 on top of this other fold?
- 00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:10,273 Tyrannis: That's a very common fold.
- 00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:11,910 Student: I don't even know what I'm looking at.
- 00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:13,446 Tyrannis: Thankfully, none of this is getting
- 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,749 into the actual sculpture, right?
- 00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:16,251 Entochus: What? King Jorbus: Knock knock!
- 00:11:16,351 --> 00:11:18,724 Entochus: Jorbus! How are you doing, old friend?
- 00:11:18,824 --> 00:11:20,193 Tyrannis: Jorbus? King Jorbus: I just wanted to
- 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,297 stop by and take a look at my statue.
- 00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:24,401 Tyrannis: You're King Jorbus? No, no, no, no.
- 00:11:24,502 --> 00:11:25,838 King Jorbus is ugly.
- 00:11:25,938 --> 00:11:27,608 King Jorbus: Oh, you're thinking of my brother
- 00:11:27,775 --> 00:11:28,777 King Glorbus.
- 00:11:28,911 --> 00:11:30,313 I got the looks in the family.
- 00:11:30,413 --> 00:11:32,116 But you should hear him sing.
- 00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:33,052 Voice of an angel.
- 00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:34,254 Tyrannis: So, then, that statue
- 00:11:34,354 --> 00:11:35,624 is not...exaggerated?
- 00:11:35,724 --> 00:11:37,160 Entochus: Exaggerated? Oh, I would never.
- 00:11:37,294 --> 00:11:39,197 That would defeat the purpose of my art.
- 00:11:39,297 --> 00:11:41,703 My whole thing is absolute realism.
- 00:11:41,803 --> 00:11:43,139 Tyrannis: OK, but don't you achieve that by
- 00:11:43,272 --> 00:11:45,711 pursuing, um, a-a kind of creative
- 00:11:45,777 --> 00:11:47,081 flight of fancy? Entochus: Nope.
- 00:11:47,214 --> 00:11:49,385 Tyrannis: Capture the truth of how it looks
- 00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:50,555 by making it look a little
- 00:11:50,655 --> 00:11:51,923 different from the way it looks?
- 00:11:52,023 --> 00:11:53,860 Entochus: No. Realism.
- 00:11:57,768 --> 00:11:59,104 Tyrannis: Oh, God. You put it all in there?
- 00:11:59,204 --> 00:12:01,308 Even the random patch of hair on my left buttock?
- 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,412 Student: It makes me sad...and angry...
- 00:12:03,513 --> 00:12:04,816 and nauseated all at once.
- 00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,954 It's genius. You're a genius.
- 00:12:07,054 --> 00:12:08,624 Entochus: Date me. Student: That's the only reason
- 00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:10,259 I took the class. Entochus: Christie, I have
- 00:12:10,359 --> 00:12:12,464 a new girlfriend now. You're number two.
- 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,134 Christie: Love you and hate you.
- 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,671 Deliria: All right. I've officially had
- 00:12:15,771 --> 00:12:17,508 every treatment this place offers.
- 00:12:17,641 --> 00:12:19,377 I've had wax applied where nothing
- 00:12:19,512 --> 00:12:21,015 waxable grows. Time to go.
- 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,687 Centaur Therapist: Don't forget to drink waterrrrr!
- 00:12:23,787 --> 00:12:24,922 Hippocampus: Pfft. I am water.
- 00:12:25,056 --> 00:12:26,593 Sure you don't wanna stay a couple days?
- 00:12:26,693 --> 00:12:27,962 I got nothing going on at home.
- 00:12:28,062 --> 00:12:29,666 Deliria: You don't want to get back to your lab?
- 00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:31,068 That's not the Hippocampus I know.
- 00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:32,705 Hippocampus: I'm not that Hippo anymore.
- 00:12:32,771 --> 00:12:34,709 I'm this now. You welcomed me to hotness
- 00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:35,978 and I'm not going back.
- 00:12:36,111 --> 00:12:37,648 Woman #1: Hey, Hippo, you wanna tell us
- 00:12:37,748 --> 00:12:39,953 more about your clock? Woman #2: Or anything?
- 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,691 Hippocampus: Love to. So, how the clock works is
- 00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:44,962 I put these wheels in it. They have jaggy edges.
- 00:12:45,062 --> 00:12:46,532 I know what they're called. They're, um,
- 00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:49,204 they're those wheels, those wheels with jaggy edges.
- 00:12:49,338 --> 00:12:51,075 They're, like, round? You know--you know,
- 00:12:51,142 --> 00:12:52,512 I don't think there's a word for 'em.
- 00:12:52,612 --> 00:12:54,983 I'll make one up. Spiky Rounds.
- 00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:56,953 And the reason for them is...
- 00:12:57,053 --> 00:12:58,389 something about the clock.
- 00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:00,962 So, then, it kinda goes around and you can be like,
- 00:13:01,028 --> 00:13:04,268 "OK, there you go! See, it's...a clock."
- 00:13:04,401 --> 00:13:05,904 Deliria: OK, well, now this is embarrassing.
- 00:13:06,004 --> 00:13:07,575 Hippocampus: Hey, should I get my quads done?
- 00:13:07,675 --> 00:13:08,677 Dr. Paulakis says it would
- 00:13:08,777 --> 00:13:10,146 balance out my whole profile.
- 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,950 Deliria: Something's wrong with you.
- 00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,620 Hippocampus: So, you agree, my profile's a little off.
- 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,724 Deliria: Not your profile. You're stupid.
- 00:13:15,824 --> 00:13:17,227 Hippocampus: Huh? Deliria: The machine.
- 00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:20,299 It gave you looks but stole your intelligence!
- 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:21,970 Hippocampus: Oh, my God...I'm dumb!
- 00:13:22,104 --> 00:13:24,174 Deliria: And I'm surprised to find I care.
- 00:13:24,274 --> 00:13:26,780 I suppose I take a certain pride in your intelligence.
- 00:13:26,913 --> 00:13:30,755 As should you, Hippocampus! He's made you stupid!
- 00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:32,825 Hippocampus: Right! OK, think. Oh!
- 00:13:32,925 --> 00:13:35,163 I had a contingency plan in case I ever got dumb!
- 00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:37,100 This is exactly why I came up with it,
- 00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:38,971 this specific situation. I thought,
- 00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:41,008 what if I got dumb and I wasn't smart anymore?
- 00:13:41,074 --> 00:13:42,779 I could still have a smart plan as long as
- 00:13:42,912 --> 00:13:45,049 I didn't have to come up with it with my dumb brain!
- 00:13:45,149 --> 00:13:47,153 So, I came up with a plan for how to get smart again
- 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,157 if I ever was dumb. Deliria: Yes?
- 00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:53,099 Hippocampus: I can't remember. I can't remember! Gah!
- 00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:54,902 Deliria: All right, all right, let's not panic.
- 00:13:55,036 --> 00:13:57,642 We'll figure something out before your intelligence
- 00:13:57,708 --> 00:13:58,677 slips away altogether.
- 00:13:58,744 --> 00:13:59,746 Hippocampus: Stupid Smart Hippo!
- 00:13:59,846 --> 00:14:00,981 Should've made the plan dumber
- 00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:03,152 so a dumb person could understand it!
- 00:14:03,252 --> 00:14:04,756 But I think basically good things
- 00:14:04,889 --> 00:14:07,027 happen to good people. So, we're gonna be fine.
- 00:14:07,127 --> 00:14:09,833 Deliria: Oh, my God, we're too late. Help!
- 00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:13,272 Help! Someone help my gorgeous idiot son!
- 00:14:16,913 --> 00:14:17,915 OK, so, that butt-lift
- 00:14:18,015 --> 00:14:19,083 is going to settle in a bit,
- 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,153 but if it slides down your thighs,
- 00:14:20,253 --> 00:14:21,923 and especially to your ankles,
- 00:14:22,023 --> 00:14:23,126 come back in for a touch-up.
- 00:14:23,226 --> 00:14:25,029 Satyr: Got it. Oh, I forgot
- 00:14:25,129 --> 00:14:26,499 to ask about pooing.
- 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,037 Dr. Paulakis: Don't! Satyr: Don't ask? Or...?
- 00:14:29,138 --> 00:14:30,473 Dr. Paulakis: You'd really better not.
- 00:14:30,574 --> 00:14:31,876 Deliria: Hello there. Sorry to bother you.
- 00:14:31,977 --> 00:14:33,346 Something's wrong with Hippocampus.
- 00:14:33,446 --> 00:14:35,917 You seem to have removed his intelligence.
- 00:14:36,017 --> 00:14:37,788 Dr. Paulakis: Did I not do what I said I would?
- 00:14:37,888 --> 00:14:39,825 Deliria: Yes, you made him hot, but you also
- 00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:42,096 made him into a vapid, brainless idiot,
- 00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:43,934 which is not what we wanted and also
- 00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:45,336 a really harmful stereotype.
- 00:14:45,403 --> 00:14:47,407 Dr. Paulakis: Well, I'm sorry, but the goo that
- 00:14:47,508 --> 00:14:48,844 contains a mortal's "ugly"
- 00:14:48,977 --> 00:14:51,282 also unfortunately contains their "smarts."
- 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:54,487 Suck out some ugly, you suck out some smarts. It's just science.
- 00:14:54,588 --> 00:14:56,091 Hippocampus: That makes total sense to me.
- 00:14:56,191 --> 00:14:57,861 I don't even need any further explanation.
- 00:14:57,995 --> 00:14:59,566 I'm just buying it and moving on.
- 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:00,967 Deliria: Just change him back.
- 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,672 He's like a whole new Hippocampus now
- 00:15:02,772 --> 00:15:03,807 and I really don't have the energy
- 00:15:03,907 --> 00:15:04,842 to get to know him again.
- 00:15:04,942 --> 00:15:06,445 Dr. Paulakis: Oh, I'm afraid
- 00:15:06,546 --> 00:15:07,413 I can't do that.
- 00:15:07,581 --> 00:15:08,717 Hippo's smart goo is
- 00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:10,152 incredibly valuable stuff.
- 00:15:10,252 --> 00:15:12,558 If you apply it topically, it plumps your lips
- 00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:13,860 like nothing else I've tried.
- 00:15:13,927 --> 00:15:15,029 Hippocampus: Ooh, really?
- 00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:16,098 Dr. Paulakis: Yes, I'm calling it
- 00:15:16,231 --> 00:15:17,400 Dr. Paulakis' Lip Food.
- 00:15:17,535 --> 00:15:18,937 Deliria: Oh, the packaging is superb,
- 00:15:19,038 --> 00:15:20,707 but that doesn't change the fact that
- 00:15:20,807 --> 00:15:22,010 he needs it all back!
- 00:15:22,143 --> 00:15:23,379 Dr. Paulakis: What did I tell you?
- 00:15:23,479 --> 00:15:24,414 It's mine now!
- 00:15:24,481 --> 00:15:26,620 Deliria: You have chosen the wrong battle!
- 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,356 Oh, my God. I hate how much
- 00:15:28,456 --> 00:15:29,692 I want one of those!
- 00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:30,861 Tyrannis: Dad, why did you think
- 00:15:30,994 --> 00:15:32,030 Jorbus was the ugly one?
- 00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:33,332 Shlub: It was an honest mistake.
- 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,203 Their names are silly and they rhyme.
- 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,506 Stupendous: You want me to just break it?
- 00:15:36,606 --> 00:15:37,741 Just give me the order.
- 00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,110 Tyrannis: Is there a way you could make it
- 00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:40,379 look like an accident? I would hate
- 00:15:40,479 --> 00:15:41,616 for people to think I ordered you
- 00:15:41,749 --> 00:15:42,752 to break my own statue
- 00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:43,954 because it looked like me.
- 00:15:44,054 --> 00:15:45,490 Shlub: Son, I owe you an apology.
- 00:15:45,591 --> 00:15:46,727 But not the one you think.
- 00:15:46,827 --> 00:15:48,262 I'm sorry that I didn't tell you
- 00:15:48,362 --> 00:15:51,770 from the very start that you're beautiful.
- 00:15:51,903 --> 00:15:53,774 I love what your soft jawline says
- 00:15:53,874 --> 00:15:55,443 about your babylike innocence.
- 00:15:55,544 --> 00:15:57,180 Tyrannis: OK, we don't need to get into details.
- 00:15:57,313 --> 00:15:59,151 Shlub: I love how the sun peeks through your sinewy legs.
- 00:15:59,284 --> 00:16:00,554 Tyrannis: The point is made. Stupendous: Stop there.
- 00:16:00,621 --> 00:16:02,457 Shlub: I think you unveil that statue
- 00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:04,796 as a proud symbol of the beauty in everyone.
- 00:16:04,929 --> 00:16:07,167 Tyrannis: No one will buy that. Shlub: I think they will.
- 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,739 I think they'll be inspired by your bravery.
- 00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:10,908 Tyrannis: But what if they aren't?
- 00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:12,611 Stupendous: Then we'll be inspired
- 00:16:12,745 --> 00:16:14,180 by your bravery.
- 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,724 Tyrannis: All right. I'll do it.
- 00:16:18,857 --> 00:16:19,892 You go ahead. I would like to just
- 00:16:19,992 --> 00:16:22,129 touch up one specific area.
- 00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:28,009 Dr. Paulakis: May I remind you I'm a demigod.
- 00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:31,983 You can't "zap" me.
- 00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:34,054 Deliria: You can't keep anti-zapping me.
- 00:16:34,187 --> 00:16:36,191 You'll eventually run out.
- 00:16:36,325 --> 00:16:38,162 Dr. Paulakis: Uh, yeah, just like
- 00:16:38,296 --> 00:16:40,300 you'll eventually run out of Dr. Paulakis'
- 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,538 Three-in-One Chimera Egg Nighttime Neck Cream
- 00:16:42,672 --> 00:16:43,907 if I stop providing it to you.
- 00:16:44,007 --> 00:16:45,075 You would never!
- 00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:46,178 Dr. Paulakis: I'm serious about
- 00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:47,748 my extracted goops.
- 00:16:47,848 --> 00:16:49,084 Deliria: He's like a son to me,
- 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,820 and as much as I love seeing him like this,
- 00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:53,092 I can't stand seeing him like this.
- 00:16:53,225 --> 00:16:54,494 Dr. Paulakis: Hm. There is one thing you have
- 00:16:54,595 --> 00:16:56,398 that I might trade for your son's smart goo.
- 00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:59,237 Deliria: Don't you ask for it. Dr. Paulakis: I'm asking for it.
- 00:16:59,304 --> 00:17:00,507 Hippocampus: What's he asking for?
- 00:17:00,641 --> 00:17:02,343 Deliria: My goddess goo. It's well known
- 00:17:02,477 --> 00:17:04,214 that the stuff that makes my hair lustrous
- 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,451 can be used to turn a demigod into a god.
- 00:17:06,586 --> 00:17:08,322 It's also an excellent insect repellent
- 00:17:08,422 --> 00:17:10,927 and very good for getting red wine out of white carpet.
- 00:17:11,028 --> 00:17:12,229 Dr. Paulakis: You make me immortal,
- 00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:14,536 I make your son an uggo scientist again.
- 00:17:14,669 --> 00:17:16,071 Hippocampus: But then what happens to my mom?
- 00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:18,577 Dr. Paulakis: She endures an entire day
- 00:17:18,711 --> 00:17:19,845 of terrible hair.
- 00:17:19,912 --> 00:17:21,816 Deliria: Oh, why don't you just kill me?
- 00:17:22,618 --> 00:17:24,756 Hippocampus: But then what happens to my mom?
- 00:17:24,856 --> 00:17:26,091 Tyrannis: People of Krapopolis.
- 00:17:26,258 --> 00:17:27,260 I almost didn't show you
- 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,596 what I'm about to show you,
- 00:17:28,696 --> 00:17:30,032 but a wiser man convinced me
- 00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:32,470 it was not just brave, but important.
- 00:17:32,604 --> 00:17:33,439 Joshua: Is it a clock?
- 00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:34,742 Tyrannis: Huh? No. I was going to
- 00:17:34,842 --> 00:17:36,278 make some phony, idealized
- 00:17:36,378 --> 00:17:38,216 statue of myself, because I didn't think
- 00:17:38,316 --> 00:17:40,219 who I actually am was enough--
- 00:17:40,286 --> 00:17:41,422 or even acceptable.
- 00:17:41,523 --> 00:17:43,158 But I learned something important today.
- 00:17:43,258 --> 00:17:45,697 I learned we need to love ourselves not in spite of,
- 00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:48,703 but because of, our so-called "imperfections."
- 00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:50,674 And that's something we all could stand to learn,
- 00:17:50,774 --> 00:17:53,813 no matter how conventionally attractive we are or aren't.
- 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,185 So, I'm not going to show you some cleaned-up fantasy.
- 00:17:56,285 --> 00:18:00,092 I want you to see your king as he really is.
- 00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:04,935 Tyrannis: You see, it's inspirational because--
- 00:18:05,035 --> 00:18:06,104 Miriam: No, I get that part.
- 00:18:06,238 --> 00:18:07,542 I mean I follow the reasoning,
- 00:18:07,642 --> 00:18:09,712 such as it is. I'm just sitting here thinking,
- 00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:11,650 "What did we spend on this?"
- 00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,252 Tyrannis: This is uplifting. It's a symbol
- 00:18:13,352 --> 00:18:14,689 that everyone is beautiful,
- 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:15,957 that we should love ourselves.
- 00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:17,193 That's important!
- 00:18:17,326 --> 00:18:18,564 Joshua: As important as a sinkhole?
- 00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,332 How much did that huge chunk of marble cost?
- 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:22,003 That's not cheap. Kayleigh: Also,
- 00:18:22,103 --> 00:18:24,007 did you make the genitals bigger?
- 00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:25,175 I certainly couldn't.
- 00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:30,486 Woman: We have a serious goat problem?
- 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,625 Man: ...it's just stuck on! Tyrannis: They aren't ready.
- 00:18:32,725 --> 00:18:35,029 They can't see the forest for the trees.
- 00:18:35,096 --> 00:18:36,599 Stupendous: I think it's the other way around,
- 00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:39,371 but you could fix that with some clippers.
- 00:18:39,471 --> 00:18:41,041 Dr. Paulakis: OK, Hippo. Say good-bye to your
- 00:18:41,141 --> 00:18:42,477 perfect cheekbones.
- 00:18:42,611 --> 00:18:48,623 Hippocampus: AAaaaAAAHhHHHHhhHhHH!
- 00:18:48,723 --> 00:18:50,827 Dr. Paulakis: Bony wrists. Goony neck.
- 00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:51,963 Congestive heart failure.
- 00:18:52,063 --> 00:18:53,331 Yep, he's normal-looking again.
- 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:54,636 Hippocampus: And I can tell I'm smarter
- 00:18:54,736 --> 00:18:56,773 because I'm rationalizing away any feeling
- 00:18:56,873 --> 00:18:57,941 of regret about that.
- 00:18:58,075 --> 00:18:59,277 And I know that's what I'm doing,
- 00:18:59,344 --> 00:19:00,847 and I'm able to compartmentalize it.
- 00:19:00,947 --> 00:19:04,021 Yep, I'm back to normal. Do I get to keep my towels?
- 00:19:04,121 --> 00:19:05,591 Dr. Paulakis: Do you think you deserve them?
- 00:19:05,724 --> 00:19:06,960 Hippocampus: No. Deliria: All right,
- 00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:08,295 all right, my turn.
- 00:19:08,395 --> 00:19:09,330 What's all this about?
- 00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:10,967 Shlub: Ty's proud of his body.
- 00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:12,170 Deliria: Well, good for him, I suppose.
- 00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:13,272 Stupendous: What happened to you?
- 00:19:13,372 --> 00:19:14,542 Hippocampus: She sacrificed
- 00:19:14,642 --> 00:19:15,911 her hair for me.
- 00:19:16,846 --> 00:19:18,983 Tyrannis: Wait. I don't see it. It looks the same. Aah!
- 00:19:19,083 --> 00:19:21,723 Deliria: Are you kidding me? It's 20%
- 00:19:21,823 --> 00:19:22,891 thinner in the back!
- 00:19:22,958 --> 00:19:24,227 I look hideous!
- 00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:26,398 And I refuse to live this way.
- 00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:30,640 Um...You'll do. Stand still. King Jorbus: Ahh!
- 00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:38,790 Why? Why me?
- 00:19:38,890 --> 00:19:40,026 My looks are all I have!
- 00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:41,428 My brother got everything else!
- 00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:42,531 Not just the singing voice,
- 00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:44,167 he also does home repair stuff.
- 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,336 Anything, he's just on it.
- 00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:46,371 It's like a sixth sense.
- 00:19:46,505 --> 00:19:47,775 I see a broken doorknob
- 00:19:47,908 --> 00:19:48,943 and I have to hire someone.
- 00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:50,245 Deliria: Thank you. Move along.
- 00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:53,285 Look at the little statue. Be inspired.
- 00:19:53,385 --> 00:19:55,322 Deliria's back!
- 00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:00,133 Narrator: Just as their king predicted,
- 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:01,468 the citizens of Krapopolis came to appreciate
- 00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:03,774 the natural beauty of their statue.
- 00:20:03,874 --> 00:20:05,176 Krapopolis became a center of--
- 00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:07,981 Oh, hang on. David? I need to call you back.
- 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,284 I'm recording a V.O. thing.
- 00:20:09,384 --> 00:20:11,154 Scary man: I've got your boyfriend.
- 00:20:11,287 --> 00:20:12,424 Narrator: What? Who is this?
- 00:20:12,525 --> 00:20:13,660 Scary man: I have your boyfriend.
- 00:20:13,794 --> 00:20:16,331 Come to the door if you want him to live.
- 00:20:16,431 --> 00:20:17,734 Narrator: What? Are you serious?
- 00:20:21,308 --> 00:20:23,580 Narrator: Aah! No! What are you--get off me!
- 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,249 Scary man: Stand still! Get this on!
- 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,886 Narrator: You're not putting a hood on me!
- 00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:29,290 Scary man: I said stand still!
- 00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:30,560 Narrator: No! Let go of me!
- 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,367 Scary man: What is that, a knife?
- 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,271 Put that down!
- 00:20:36,405 --> 00:20:38,610 Scary man: No! Ahh! No!
- 00:20:45,924 --> 00:20:48,597 David: Pippa? Narrator: David?
- 00:20:48,697 --> 00:20:50,232 David: Oh, my God, what have you done?
- 00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:51,434 Narrator: He was going to kill you.
- 00:20:51,535 --> 00:20:52,838 He tried to kidnap me.
- 00:20:52,938 --> 00:20:55,811 David: Yes, we booked that kidnapping experience.
- 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,717 Narrator: That was today? David: Yes!
- 00:20:58,817 --> 00:21:00,587 Narrator: Oh, God! David: Remember?
- 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,427 It was a fake kidnapping? Fun romantic thing?
- 00:21:04,528 --> 00:21:06,031 What the hell did you do?
- 00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:08,402 Narrator: I killed him. David: Oh, I'm gonna be sick.
- 00:21:08,503 --> 00:21:09,671 Narrator: Sh-sh-shhh! Let's just think,
- 00:21:09,772 --> 00:21:11,141 lemme just think!
- 00:21:11,241 --> 00:21:12,745 Get that rug. We need to get rid of the body.
- 00:21:12,845 --> 00:21:15,249 David: Are you serious? Uhh. Narrator: Do it!
- 00:21:18,322 --> 00:21:20,326 Narrator: Krapopolis became a center of
- 00:21:20,426 --> 00:21:21,696 body positivity,
- 00:21:21,829 --> 00:21:23,533 a beacon to the world.
- 00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:25,136 Do we have it? I think we have it.
- 00:21:25,236 --> 00:21:26,305 Gotta go!
- 00:21:26,438 --> 00:21:28,041 Dan Harmon: Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:30,479 --> 00:21:32,449 Voice: Bento.
- 00:00:02,639 --> 00:00:04,677 Hippocampus: So, as you can see, this pointer,
- 00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:05,978 or "hand" as I call it,
- 00:00:06,112 --> 00:00:08,383 travels around the circle once per hour.
- 00:00:08,450 --> 00:00:10,086 Now, what do I mean when I say "hour"?
- 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,692 Joshua: I have a question. What's with that zit?
- 00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:14,495 Hippocampus: It's nothing. It's a zit. Whatever.
- 00:00:14,596 --> 00:00:17,234 So, the beauty of this "clock" is that--
- 00:00:17,301 --> 00:00:19,338 Miriam: Are you gonna pop that thing? Or can I?
- 00:00:19,438 --> 00:00:21,209 Hippocampus: You guys, what I'm showing you here
- 00:00:21,276 --> 00:00:23,246 is probably the most useful thing that I've ever invented.
- 00:00:23,346 --> 00:00:25,216 Shelly: Is it hot to the touch? Hippocampus: The clock?
- 00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:26,620 Shelly: No, the thing on your face.
- 00:00:26,753 --> 00:00:27,889 Joshua: What's a clock?
- 00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,092 Hippocampus: It's what I'm showing you!
- 00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:30,595 It's the thing behind me.
- 00:00:30,695 --> 00:00:32,231 Miriam: How can anyone focus on that when
- 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,402 you've got this massive weeping zit
- 00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:35,605 staring at us?
- 00:00:35,705 --> 00:00:37,542 Hippocampus: It's just dead skin and excess oil.
- 00:00:37,643 --> 00:00:39,412 Joshua: Are you trying to make us sick?
- 00:00:39,513 --> 00:00:41,049 Hippocampus: I'm trying to show you
- 00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:42,385 a life-changing invention.
- 00:00:42,485 --> 00:00:44,388 Miriam: Look how it moves when he talks.
- 00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:45,925 Hippocampus: All right, you know what?
- 00:00:46,025 --> 00:00:47,395 This thing is too good for you people.
- 00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:48,965 I'm showing you the future of civilization
- 00:00:49,098 --> 00:00:50,467 and all you care about is my face?
- 00:00:50,568 --> 00:00:52,639 I'll tell you what time it is: it's time for you
- 00:00:52,739 --> 00:00:54,375 to grow up! Grow up!
- 00:00:54,509 --> 00:00:56,445 Joshua: Look out, it's gonna blow!
- 00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:58,751 Citizens: Aah! Oh!
- 00:01:09,639 --> 00:01:10,841 Singers: ♪ Huh ♪
- 00:01:14,883 --> 00:01:19,459 ♪ Huh huh huh huh ♪
- 00:01:19,593 --> 00:01:21,329 ♪ Whoo ♪
- 00:01:23,634 --> 00:01:26,006 Tyrannis: Great news, everyone. Our pile of dead horses
- 00:01:26,106 --> 00:01:27,609 has finally been cleared by wolves.
- 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,311 So, now we've got a small wolf problem,
- 00:01:29,411 --> 00:01:30,982 but a nice patch of land
- 00:01:31,115 --> 00:01:32,552 in the town square for public use.
- 00:01:32,652 --> 00:01:34,623 Shlub: I thought the pile of dead horses
- 00:01:34,690 --> 00:01:35,925 was for public use.
- 00:01:36,059 --> 00:01:37,260 Stupendous: So, what are you gonna put there?
- 00:01:37,361 --> 00:01:38,698 Tyrannis: I was thinking we plant a tree.
- 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,501 One of those super old trees that everyone loves.
- 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,739 It won't be old when we plant it, but in 100 years--
- 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,680 Stupendous: Boring! You wanna know what we need? A statue.
- 00:01:46,813 --> 00:01:48,149 Tyrannis: A statue? Of whom?
- 00:01:48,216 --> 00:01:49,887 Stupendous: Of youm, ya nimrod!
- 00:01:49,987 --> 00:01:51,923 I was just in Argos and they have this
- 00:01:52,057 --> 00:01:53,628 huge statue of their king on a horse.
- 00:01:53,728 --> 00:01:56,132 Gave the whole town a thing to rally behind.
- 00:01:56,232 --> 00:01:58,102 And it was a blast to tear down.
- 00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:00,508 So, I was thinking, you're always complaining
- 00:02:00,608 --> 00:02:02,478 people don't show you enough respect
- 00:02:02,579 --> 00:02:04,482 and blah blah blah. But maybe
- 00:02:04,616 --> 00:02:06,620 it's just cuz they forget you're their leader.
- 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,992 Deliria: Leader of what? Tyrannis: Are you really asking that
- 00:02:09,092 --> 00:02:10,795 or are you just trying to make me feel bad?
- 00:02:10,895 --> 00:02:12,431 Deliria: Mmm...give me a clue.
- 00:02:12,497 --> 00:02:15,471 Tyrannis: Krapopolis, this city! Deliria: Krapopolis, of course.
- 00:02:15,572 --> 00:02:17,307 Shlub: I think a statue is a great idea.
- 00:02:17,374 --> 00:02:19,379 A heroic pose, you leading the charge,
- 00:02:19,479 --> 00:02:22,952 toga blowing in the breeze, maybe show a little skin.
- 00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:25,190 Tyrannis: I'm not doing that. Deliria: Oh, I know what's happening.
- 00:02:25,257 --> 00:02:26,727 He's insecure about his body.
- 00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:28,463 Stupendous: Great call. Tyrannis: Nope, nothing could be
- 00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:30,133 further from the truth. I simply don't want to
- 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,469 shove my face in everyone's face.
- 00:02:31,603 --> 00:02:33,106 I love this city too much to do that.
- 00:02:33,172 --> 00:02:34,810 Hippocampus: It's official. I hate this city.
- 00:02:34,877 --> 00:02:37,782 I just showed them the most important invention since forks
- 00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:39,586 and all they can focus on is my appearance.
- 00:02:39,686 --> 00:02:41,657 Deliria: Yes, what is going on with your appearance?
- 00:02:41,724 --> 00:02:43,160 Hippocampus: Well, like most living creatures,
- 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:45,097 I sometimes get pimples, and apparently,
- 00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:46,567 that's all that anyone can focus on.
- 00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,303 Tyrannis: It's all I'm focusing on.
- 00:02:48,403 --> 00:02:49,806 Stupendous: There's almost nothing else visible in there.
- 00:02:49,906 --> 00:02:51,510 Shlub: Whoever cursed you, she did a great job.
- 00:02:51,577 --> 00:02:53,179 Hippocampus: It's not a curse. This pimple
- 00:02:53,279 --> 00:02:54,616 is naturally occurring. Shlub: No such thing.
- 00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:56,018 Hippocampus: Mom, can you just get rid of this?
- 00:02:56,152 --> 00:02:57,254 It doesn't bother me but it's
- 00:02:57,354 --> 00:02:58,490 interfering with the part of my job
- 00:02:58,624 --> 00:03:00,126 where I unveil something brilliant
- 00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:01,530 and everyone knows I'm brilliant.
- 00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:02,866 Deliria: Oh, I wouldn't trust myself to
- 00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:04,235 take on a pimple like that.
- 00:03:04,302 --> 00:03:06,039 But I have a fantastic skin guy.
- 00:03:06,139 --> 00:03:08,243 Dr. Paulakis. He's a genius.
- 00:03:08,343 --> 00:03:09,512 Hippocampus: Let's not throw that word around.
- 00:03:09,679 --> 00:03:11,182 He's a skin guy. Deliria: He happens
- 00:03:11,248 --> 00:03:12,519 to be a demigod, but he has
- 00:03:12,653 --> 00:03:14,823 the pore-clearing powers of a full one.
- 00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:16,693 Hippocampus: Fine. Let's just get this thing off my face
- 00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:18,463 so I can get back to everyone knowing how smart I am.
- 00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:20,702 Deliria: Oh, I love it! A spa weekend!
- 00:03:20,802 --> 00:03:22,739 Hippocampus: Not a spa weekend, a spa hour
- 00:03:22,806 --> 00:03:24,843 at most, and you'd know what an hour was
- 00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:26,379 if I didn't have this zit!
- 00:03:27,014 --> 00:03:28,316 Shlub: Look at this statue here.
- 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,786 It's absolutely gorgeous, correct?
- 00:03:29,886 --> 00:03:32,859 Six-pack abs, every muscle perfectly sculpted.
- 00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:34,763 The butt, muscular yet inviting.
- 00:03:34,863 --> 00:03:37,702 Stupendous: I'd lick that statue from top to bottom.
- 00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:39,271 Shlub: I'd meet you in the middle.
- 00:03:39,372 --> 00:03:40,642 Tyrannis: Yes, it's a beautiful statue.
- 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,846 Why do I care? Shlub: Because, my dear boy,
- 00:03:42,946 --> 00:03:44,582 this is a statue of King Jorbus.
- 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,920 Tyrannis: Who's King Jorbus? Stupendous: He's that dog-faced
- 00:03:47,054 --> 00:03:48,256 king from downriver.
- 00:03:48,323 --> 00:03:49,559 Tyrannis: Oh, that guy? He's a dog!
- 00:03:49,693 --> 00:03:51,262 Stupendous: Yeah, a big, lumpy,
- 00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:52,465 hairy, ugly dog.
- 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,669 Tyrannis: Mangy, jowly, drooling...
- 00:03:54,769 --> 00:03:56,372 Shlub: I picture King Jorbus whenever
- 00:03:56,472 --> 00:03:58,343 I need to slow things down with your mother,
- 00:03:58,476 --> 00:03:59,580 if you know what I mean!
- 00:03:59,713 --> 00:04:01,115 Stupendous: Dad, we were having fun.
- 00:04:01,215 --> 00:04:02,451 Shlub: And so were your mother and I--
- 00:04:02,586 --> 00:04:04,623 too much!--until I thought of King Jorbus.
- 00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:06,092 Stupendous: The point is, we found the sculptor
- 00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:07,428 who did this, and he says he can
- 00:04:07,529 --> 00:04:08,664 do the same for you.
- 00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:10,668 Tyrannis: Wow. A statue like this of me?
- 00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:12,772 OK, I'm going to make a small confession here.
- 00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:14,341 Stupendous: You're ashamed of your body. Tyrannis: I'm ashamed of--no.
- 00:04:14,475 --> 00:04:15,678 Stupendous: We said it earlier.
- 00:04:15,778 --> 00:04:17,014 Tyrannis: But you were wrong then because
- 00:04:17,148 --> 00:04:18,082 you didn't know, whereas now you
- 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,452 do know because I'm telling you.
- 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:20,888 Shlub: Well, I'd say it was pretty clear.
- 00:04:20,988 --> 00:04:22,491 Tyrannis: No, it wasn't. You were speculating.
- 00:04:22,592 --> 00:04:23,861 Stupendous: Correctly. Tyrannis: Incorrectly.
- 00:04:23,961 --> 00:04:24,897 But in a way that coincidentally
- 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,165 echoed a hidden truth:
- 00:04:26,265 --> 00:04:27,769 I am ashamed of my body. Stupendous: OK.
- 00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:29,706 Tyrannis: But if this guy can make Jorbus look this good,
- 00:04:29,806 --> 00:04:31,877 he could certainly touch up my few minor flaws!
- 00:04:31,977 --> 00:04:35,050 You know, the handful of things that no one else notices
- 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,186 but that I focus on.
- 00:04:36,286 --> 00:04:37,487 Stupendous: Like super-skinny arms.
- 00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:39,626 Shlub: Or your completely outsized head.
- 00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:41,195 Tyrannis: We don't need to list them.
- 00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:42,331 Stupendous: Oooh! That patch of eczema that led
- 00:04:42,464 --> 00:04:43,634 Hippo to discover eczema.
- 00:04:43,734 --> 00:04:44,970 Shlub: The knees. Stupendous: Oh, yeah!
- 00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:46,172 Shlub: Those baggy nipples.
- 00:04:46,272 --> 00:04:47,308 Tyrannis: They're only baggy because
- 00:04:47,441 --> 00:04:48,510 Stupe keeps twisting them!
- 00:04:48,644 --> 00:04:50,046 Stupendous: Or do I twist 'em
- 00:04:50,146 --> 00:04:51,315 because they're baggy?
- 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,720 It's a chicken and the egg situation.
- 00:04:53,821 --> 00:04:54,556 But with nipples.
- 00:04:54,622 --> 00:04:55,858 Shlub: Baggy nipples!
- 00:04:55,958 --> 00:04:59,365 [Stupendous and Shlub laugh]
- 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,968 Stupendous: But, yeah, I think this guy could
- 00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:02,404 touch all that up.
- 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,375 Hippocampus: I don't get it. I thought one of
- 00:05:04,441 --> 00:05:05,377 the perks of being an immortal
- 00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:06,613 is that you have no flaws.
- 00:05:06,713 --> 00:05:08,116 Deliria: Please. Beauty amongst gods
- 00:05:08,249 --> 00:05:09,520 is a competitive business.
- 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,355 Last year, I was in the sauna here with Demeter!
- 00:05:11,455 --> 00:05:12,692 "Goddess of Grain" is right!
- 00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:14,495 She should try being the "Goddess of
- 00:05:14,596 --> 00:05:16,633 Lean Protein" for a bit.
- 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,472 Sherry: Welcome to Dermiapolis Aesthetic Lab.
- 00:05:19,606 --> 00:05:21,643 Hippocampus: "Lab"? Pfft. We're barely inside
- 00:05:21,744 --> 00:05:23,547 and already swimming in pseudoscience.
- 00:05:23,647 --> 00:05:25,450 Deliria: Oh, stop. Cosmetologists are just
- 00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:26,987 chemists who have sex.
- 00:05:27,054 --> 00:05:29,258 Uh, Deliria, Goddess, the.
- 00:05:29,425 --> 00:05:30,695 We're here to see Dr. Paulakis.
- 00:05:30,795 --> 00:05:33,801 Dr. Paulakis: Deliria! Deliria: Dr. Paulakis!
- 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,038 Dr. Paulakis: Ahh! You don't look a day over
- 00:05:36,139 --> 00:05:37,474 7 million billion.
- 00:05:37,575 --> 00:05:38,778 Deliria: Mwah! Mwah!
- 00:05:38,878 --> 00:05:40,246 Dr. Paulakis: I've got some cream for that.
- 00:05:40,347 --> 00:05:41,482 Deliria: For what?
- 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,519 Dr. Paulakis: Don't worry about it.
- 00:05:42,652 --> 00:05:43,788 And this must be your--
- 00:05:43,955 --> 00:05:46,827 absolutely gigantic nodular papule.
- 00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:49,164 Hippocampus: I'm Hippocampus. Her son.
- 00:05:49,298 --> 00:05:51,069 Deliria: Yes, can you do anything for him?
- 00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:54,275 Dr. Paulakis: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm mm-hmm mm-hmm,
- 00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:57,782 uh-huh, uh-uh, ahhh...
- 00:05:57,882 --> 00:05:59,620 and the pimple is the only thing we're doing today?
- 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,924 Hippocampus: Yes. Dr. Paulakis: That's a damn shame.
- 00:06:01,991 --> 00:06:04,028 Tell me, Hippo, how do you wash your face?
- 00:06:04,094 --> 00:06:05,565 Hippocampus: Um, with water?
- 00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,702 Dr. Paulakis: Water?! Nooooo!
- 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,473 I'm not hearing this, Deliria. Zap my ears off!
- 00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:11,977 No, seriously, do it. They grow back
- 00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:13,346 so smooth, like a baby's.
- 00:06:13,447 --> 00:06:15,618 Deliria: Dr. Paulakis says that water
- 00:06:15,684 --> 00:06:17,589 loads your face with toxins.
- 00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:19,626 Hippocampus: Can we stop pretending this is a medical thing
- 00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:21,462 and just pop the zit? Please?
- 00:06:21,563 --> 00:06:23,432 Deliria: Right. You'll have to forgive Hippocampus.
- 00:06:23,499 --> 00:06:25,070 He's a bit of a self-care skeptic.
- 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,707 Dr. Paulakis: Well, let's change that right now.
- 00:06:26,807 --> 00:06:28,443 Let me show you what we do here.
- 00:06:28,544 --> 00:06:30,614 This is our Dermatorium.
- 00:06:30,714 --> 00:06:32,718 Deliria: Everyone here is glowing!
- 00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:34,455 Do you milk your own fairies?
- 00:06:34,589 --> 00:06:35,858 Dr. Paulakis: On site! This is our
- 00:06:35,991 --> 00:06:36,826 physical therapy center.
- 00:06:36,927 --> 00:06:39,365 Hippocampus: Wow. Is that Achilles?
- 00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:40,901 Dr. Paulakis: Sure is. Achilles: Ahhhhh!
- 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,838 How do I always forget about those heels!
- 00:06:42,939 --> 00:06:46,278 It's almost like forgetfulness is my central flaw. [Laughs]
- 00:06:46,378 --> 00:06:47,648 Dr. Paulakis: In this room, we're using
- 00:06:47,748 --> 00:06:49,051 a simple prosthetic to turn
- 00:06:49,151 --> 00:06:51,355 a cyclops into a regularclops.
- 00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:54,462 Let's watch. Cyclops: [Gasp] I'm pretty!
- 00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:55,865 Hippocampus: What's going on in there?
- 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:57,635 Dr. Paulakis: We're giving a Kraken huge boobs.
- 00:06:57,735 --> 00:06:59,639 And the self-confidence to ask for a promotion.
- 00:06:59,739 --> 00:07:01,576 Hippocampus: How do you do that? Dr. Paulakis: The boobs.
- 00:07:01,643 --> 00:07:02,879 Hippocampus: OK, that Kraken did look
- 00:07:03,046 --> 00:07:04,448 pretty thrilled with his new jugs, but
- 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,251 I'm skeptical of any medical facility
- 00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,622 that serves mimosas.
- 00:07:07,722 --> 00:07:08,958 Dr. Paulakis: Let's get that thing off your face
- 00:07:09,091 --> 00:07:10,627 before it orders lunch!
- 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,201 This might pinch a bit.
- 00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:16,806 Hippocampus: Aah!
- 00:07:18,744 --> 00:07:19,913 Dr. Paulakis: See for yourself.
- 00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:21,717 Hippocampus: I...I don't know what to say!
- 00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:23,253 What was in that syringe?!
- 00:07:23,353 --> 00:07:24,656 Dr. Paulakis: Mermaid pee-pee.
- 00:07:24,756 --> 00:07:26,125 It's the most astringent
- 00:07:26,225 --> 00:07:27,227 substance on Earth.
- 00:07:27,361 --> 00:07:28,731 Trust me, I've tasted them all.
- 00:07:28,831 --> 00:07:30,367 Merman: Hey, cutie. If you want to take care
- 00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:31,903 of that bacne, I've got a full tank.
- 00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:33,640 Just say the word. Hippocampus: I'm good.
- 00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:36,412 Dr. Paulakis: You are good. And don't you feel good?
- 00:07:36,513 --> 00:07:38,784 Hippocampus: Well, whatever emotional thing
- 00:07:38,884 --> 00:07:40,454 I'm feeling, it doesn't matter.
- 00:07:40,555 --> 00:07:42,458 All that matters is people will listen to me again.
- 00:07:42,559 --> 00:07:43,928 Dr. Paulakis: It's true. Medically speaking,
- 00:07:44,061 --> 00:07:45,565 people respect you more when you're
- 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:46,600 easy to look at.
- 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,269 Not to be indelicate, Hippo,
- 00:07:48,369 --> 00:07:49,639 but, uh...may I?
- 00:07:49,739 --> 00:07:53,145 Hippocampus: Oh, um... Oh, I don't, I don't--
- 00:07:53,279 --> 00:07:54,516 My cheekbones have cheekbones.
- 00:07:54,649 --> 00:07:56,720 You're telling me I could have bone structure?
- 00:07:56,853 --> 00:07:58,456 Dr. Paulakis: Any structure can have bones
- 00:07:58,558 --> 00:08:00,995 if you stick bones in it. And Hippo?
- 00:08:01,095 --> 00:08:02,865 We have so many bones.
- 00:08:07,675 --> 00:08:08,644 Hippocampus: Remind me what that
- 00:08:08,744 --> 00:08:10,047 scary-looking machine does?
- 00:08:10,147 --> 00:08:11,349 Dr. Paulakis: You're a man of science, so,
- 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:12,719 I won't mince words.
- 00:08:12,819 --> 00:08:13,820 These tube-y things suck some goop out of you,
- 00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:15,056 which makes you look hot.
- 00:08:15,156 --> 00:08:16,693 Hippocampus: What? What kind of "goop"?
- 00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,028 Dr. Paulakis: I don't know how much more
- 00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:19,666 detail you want than that, Mr. Hippo.
- 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,402 Sherry: Mimosa? You're gonna look
- 00:08:21,503 --> 00:08:22,638 sooo bony.
- 00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:24,174 Hippocampus: Could someone just say
- 00:08:24,307 --> 00:08:25,578 there's a medical reason why
- 00:08:25,644 --> 00:08:26,747 the mimosa is necessary?
- 00:08:26,847 --> 00:08:28,550 Deliria: Just drink the damn mimosa.
- 00:08:28,684 --> 00:08:30,086 It's a spa weekend.
- 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:31,757 Hippocampus: I guess it is.
- 00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:33,527 Um, should you be drinking
- 00:08:33,627 --> 00:08:38,637 right now--aghh-GGGaaah!
- 00:08:38,771 --> 00:08:40,541 Tyrannis: I love the way you did the muscles.
- 00:08:40,641 --> 00:08:42,077 Entochus: Yes, clients have been asking for
- 00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:44,214 more and more skin. Shlub: Love that stuff!
- 00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:46,753 Entochus: It just projects confidence, doesn't it?
- 00:08:46,853 --> 00:08:49,793 Honestly, the more they show, the cooler they seem.
- 00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:51,429 Tyrannis: You know what? What if we took
- 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:52,565 my statue further?
- 00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:54,334 What if we went fully nude?
- 00:08:54,502 --> 00:08:55,437 How bold would that be?
- 00:08:55,538 --> 00:08:56,673 The king with nothing to hide!
- 00:08:56,773 --> 00:08:57,742 Shlub: It's like they say:
- 00:08:57,808 --> 00:08:59,245 "You haven't had fun till /
- 00:08:59,378 --> 00:09:00,715 You've gone full frontal!"
- 00:09:00,781 --> 00:09:03,019 Do they say that? Or did I just make that up?
- 00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:04,287 I can't tell these days.
- 00:09:04,388 --> 00:09:05,924 Tyrannis: Let's do it! A nude statue!
- 00:09:06,058 --> 00:09:07,962 Stupendous: Who's this guy? He sounds like my brother
- 00:09:08,095 --> 00:09:10,702 but he's got the body confidence of a normal person.
- 00:09:10,802 --> 00:09:12,270 Tyrannis: Well, it's not that much of a risk.
- 00:09:12,337 --> 00:09:14,576 We all saw what this gifted sculptor did with Jorbus.
- 00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:16,345 I think I'm in pretty good hands.
- 00:09:16,445 --> 00:09:19,017 Entochus: I love it. So, just stand here and strip down.
- 00:09:19,117 --> 00:09:20,621 Tyrannis: Me strip? I assumed you could
- 00:09:20,788 --> 00:09:22,792 do the naked bits without actually seeing them.
- 00:09:22,925 --> 00:09:24,061 You can't just fill in the blanks?
- 00:09:24,161 --> 00:09:25,531 Stupendous: There's my brother back.
- 00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:26,633 Entochus: Do you want me to strip down
- 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:27,669 to put you at ease?
- 00:09:27,769 --> 00:09:29,205 Shlub: I'm already naked.
- 00:09:29,305 --> 00:09:30,841 Stupendous: You want me to drop trou? I'll drop trou.
- 00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:32,111 Tyrannis: No one needs to drop trou.
- 00:09:32,211 --> 00:09:33,112 I've got this.
- 00:09:33,212 --> 00:09:34,749 The uh, the shirt as well?
- 00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:36,218 Entochus: Obviously.
- 00:09:36,352 --> 00:09:38,557 Stupendous: What the hell is that other thing you're wearing?
- 00:09:38,657 --> 00:09:39,692 Tyrannis: It's a new kind of garment.
- 00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:41,764 I call it "under-wear."
- 00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,703 Stupendous: "Under-wear"? Because you wear it
- 00:09:44,803 --> 00:09:46,205 under your clothes?
- 00:09:46,339 --> 00:09:48,644 That's the stupidest thing I ever heard of in my life.
- 00:09:48,711 --> 00:09:50,113 We don't have to stay for this, right?
- 00:09:50,213 --> 00:09:52,384 Shlub: Not if there's wine anywhere in the world.
- 00:09:52,484 --> 00:09:53,887 Tyrannis: OK, I'll just...
- 00:09:54,656 --> 00:09:57,628 Entochus: Oof. Students? You can come in now.
- 00:09:57,728 --> 00:09:59,131 Tyrannis: You have students?! Entochus: Of course.
- 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:01,570 I'm an artist. I have a huge ego. Ladies?
- 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:02,972 Tyrannis: Your students are women?
- 00:10:03,072 --> 00:10:04,743 Entochus: I have a god complex combined with
- 00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:06,111 psycho-sexual control issues.
- 00:10:06,211 --> 00:10:08,116 Why are we even having this conversation?
- 00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:10,454 Hippocampus: So, the hand travels around the circle,
- 00:10:10,555 --> 00:10:11,957 indicating the movement of time.
- 00:10:12,057 --> 00:10:14,662 Woman #1: That is so smart. Woman #2: Absolute genius.
- 00:10:14,763 --> 00:10:16,800 Hippocampus: Thank you! This fish-man
- 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,803 could get fish-used to this.
- 00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,975 Deliria: Aha. Can we skip the part
- 00:10:21,075 --> 00:10:23,045 where I say, "I don't want to say I told you so,"
- 00:10:23,146 --> 00:10:24,849 and get right to the "I told you so"?
- 00:10:24,949 --> 00:10:26,485 Because: I told you so.
- 00:10:26,587 --> 00:10:27,889 Hippocampus: Go ahead and tell me so.
- 00:10:27,989 --> 00:10:29,559 All I know is it was a hell of a lot easier
- 00:10:29,659 --> 00:10:30,795 holding their attention looking like this.
- 00:10:30,895 --> 00:10:32,598 Deliria: Oh, my boy, all of life is
- 00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:33,833 easier when you're hot.
- 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,469 And what makes it even easier than that
- 00:10:35,537 --> 00:10:37,440 is when people you're with are hot
- 00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,111 or at least not not hot,
- 00:10:39,211 --> 00:10:41,349 so you don't have to deal with their insecurities.
- 00:10:41,482 --> 00:10:44,188 Such a drag. Did you want a refill on that mimosa?
- 00:10:44,288 --> 00:10:46,425 Hippocampus: Yeah, I just need to get the server's attention.
- 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:48,195 Deliria: No, you don't. Just stare at your
- 00:10:48,295 --> 00:10:51,435 empty glass and make the slightest frown.
- 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:54,609 Sherry: Let me get that for you. Hippocampus: Unbelievable.
- 00:10:54,742 --> 00:10:55,811 It's like a superpower.
- 00:10:55,911 --> 00:10:57,414 Deliria: Welcome to hotness,
- 00:10:57,548 --> 00:10:58,783 where everyone works for you
- 00:10:58,884 --> 00:11:01,021 and everything is free. [Glasses clink]
- 00:11:02,491 --> 00:11:04,495 Entochus: Wow, there's a lot of detail
- 00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:05,798 on this guy, huh, ladies?
- 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:07,568 Student: Yeah, are you guys seeing this fold
- 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,704 on top of this other fold?
- 00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:10,273 Tyrannis: That's a very common fold.
- 00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:11,910 Student: I don't even know what I'm looking at.
- 00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:13,446 Tyrannis: Thankfully, none of this is getting
- 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,749 into the actual sculpture, right?
- 00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:16,251 Entochus: What? King Jorbus: Knock knock!
- 00:11:16,351 --> 00:11:18,724 Entochus: Jorbus! How are you doing, old friend?
- 00:11:18,824 --> 00:11:20,193 Tyrannis: Jorbus? King Jorbus: I just wanted to
- 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,297 stop by and take a look at my statue.
- 00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:24,401 Tyrannis: You're King Jorbus? No, no, no, no.
- 00:11:24,502 --> 00:11:25,838 King Jorbus is ugly.
- 00:11:25,938 --> 00:11:27,608 King Jorbus: Oh, you're thinking of my brother
- 00:11:27,775 --> 00:11:28,777 King Glorbus.
- 00:11:28,911 --> 00:11:30,313 I got the looks in the family.
- 00:11:30,413 --> 00:11:32,116 But you should hear him sing.
- 00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:33,052 Voice of an angel.
- 00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:34,254 Tyrannis: So, then, that statue
- 00:11:34,354 --> 00:11:35,624 is not...exaggerated?
- 00:11:35,724 --> 00:11:37,160 Entochus: Exaggerated? Oh, I would never.
- 00:11:37,294 --> 00:11:39,197 That would defeat the purpose of my art.
- 00:11:39,297 --> 00:11:41,703 My whole thing is absolute realism.
- 00:11:41,803 --> 00:11:43,139 Tyrannis: OK, but don't you achieve that by
- 00:11:43,272 --> 00:11:45,711 pursuing, um, a-a kind of creative
- 00:11:45,777 --> 00:11:47,081 flight of fancy? Entochus: Nope.
- 00:11:47,214 --> 00:11:49,385 Tyrannis: Capture the truth of how it looks
- 00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:50,555 by making it look a little
- 00:11:50,655 --> 00:11:51,923 different from the way it looks?
- 00:11:52,023 --> 00:11:53,860 Entochus: No. Realism.
- 00:11:57,768 --> 00:11:59,104 Tyrannis: Oh, God. You put it all in there?
- 00:11:59,204 --> 00:12:01,308 Even the random patch of hair on my left buttock?
- 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,412 Student: It makes me sad...and angry...
- 00:12:03,513 --> 00:12:04,816 and nauseated all at once.
- 00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,954 It's genius. You're a genius.
- 00:12:07,054 --> 00:12:08,624 Entochus: Date me. Student: That's the only reason
- 00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:10,259 I took the class. Entochus: Christie, I have
- 00:12:10,359 --> 00:12:12,464 a new girlfriend now. You're number two.
- 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,134 Christie: Love you and hate you.
- 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,671 Deliria: All right. I've officially had
- 00:12:15,771 --> 00:12:17,508 every treatment this place offers.
- 00:12:17,641 --> 00:12:19,377 I've had wax applied where nothing
- 00:12:19,512 --> 00:12:21,015 waxable grows. Time to go.
- 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,687 Centaur Therapist: [Brays] Don't forget to drink waterrrrr!
- 00:12:23,787 --> 00:12:24,922 Hippocampus: Pfft. I am water.
- 00:12:25,056 --> 00:12:26,593 Sure you don't wanna stay a couple days?
- 00:12:26,693 --> 00:12:27,962 I got nothing going on at home.
- 00:12:28,062 --> 00:12:29,666 Deliria: You don't want to get back to your lab?
- 00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:31,068 That's not the Hippocampus I know.
- 00:12:31,201 --> 00:12:32,705 Hippocampus: I'm not that Hippo anymore.
- 00:12:32,771 --> 00:12:34,709 I'm this now. You welcomed me to hotness
- 00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:35,978 and I'm not going back.
- 00:12:36,111 --> 00:12:37,648 Woman #1: Hey, Hippo, you wanna tell us
- 00:12:37,748 --> 00:12:39,953 more about your clock? Woman #2: Or anything?
- 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,691 Hippocampus: Love to. So, how the clock works is
- 00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:44,962 I put these wheels in it. They have jaggy edges.
- 00:12:45,062 --> 00:12:46,532 I know what they're called. They're, um,
- 00:12:46,632 --> 00:12:49,204 they're those wheels, those wheels with jaggy edges.
- 00:12:49,338 --> 00:12:51,075 They're, like, round? You know--you know,
- 00:12:51,142 --> 00:12:52,512 I don't think there's a word for 'em.
- 00:12:52,612 --> 00:12:54,983 I'll make one up. Spiky Rounds.
- 00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:56,953 And the reason for them is...
- 00:12:57,053 --> 00:12:58,389 something about the clock.
- 00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:00,962 So, then, it kinda goes around and you can be like,
- 00:13:01,028 --> 00:13:04,268 "OK, there you go! See, it's...a clock."
- 00:13:04,401 --> 00:13:05,904 Deliria: OK, well, now this is embarrassing.
- 00:13:06,004 --> 00:13:07,575 Hippocampus: Hey, should I get my quads done?
- 00:13:07,675 --> 00:13:08,677 Dr. Paulakis says it would
- 00:13:08,777 --> 00:13:10,146 balance out my whole profile.
- 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,950 Deliria: Something's wrong with you.
- 00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,620 Hippocampus: So, you agree, my profile's a little off.
- 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,724 Deliria: Not your profile. You're stupid.
- 00:13:15,824 --> 00:13:17,227 Hippocampus: Huh? Deliria: The machine.
- 00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:20,299 It gave you looks but stole your intelligence!
- 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:21,970 Hippocampus: Oh, my God...I'm dumb!
- 00:13:22,104 --> 00:13:24,174 Deliria: And I'm surprised to find I care.
- 00:13:24,274 --> 00:13:26,780 I suppose I take a certain pride in your intelligence.
- 00:13:26,913 --> 00:13:30,755 As should you, Hippocampus! He's made you stupid!
- 00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:32,825 Hippocampus: Right! OK, think. Oh!
- 00:13:32,925 --> 00:13:35,163 I had a contingency plan in case I ever got dumb!
- 00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:37,100 This is exactly why I came up with it,
- 00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:38,971 this specific situation. I thought,
- 00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:41,008 what if I got dumb and I wasn't smart anymore?
- 00:13:41,074 --> 00:13:42,779 I could still have a smart plan as long as
- 00:13:42,912 --> 00:13:45,049 I didn't have to come up with it with my dumb brain!
- 00:13:45,149 --> 00:13:47,153 So, I came up with a plan for how to get smart again
- 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,157 if I ever was dumb. Deliria: Yes?
- 00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:53,099 Hippocampus: I can't remember. I can't remember! Gah!
- 00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:54,902 Deliria: All right, all right, let's not panic.
- 00:13:55,036 --> 00:13:57,642 We'll figure something out before your intelligence
- 00:13:57,708 --> 00:13:58,677 slips away altogether.
- 00:13:58,744 --> 00:13:59,746 Hippocampus: Stupid Smart Hippo!
- 00:13:59,846 --> 00:14:00,981 Should've made the plan dumber
- 00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:03,152 so a dumb person could understand it!
- 00:14:03,252 --> 00:14:04,756 But I think basically good things
- 00:14:04,889 --> 00:14:07,027 happen to good people. So, we're gonna be fine.
- 00:14:07,127 --> 00:14:09,833 Deliria: Oh, my God, we're too late. Help!
- 00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:13,272 Help! Someone help my gorgeous idiot son!
- 00:14:16,913 --> 00:14:17,915 Dr. Paulakis: OK, so, that butt-lift
- 00:14:18,015 --> 00:14:19,083 is going to settle in a bit,
- 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,153 but if it slides down your thighs,
- 00:14:20,253 --> 00:14:21,923 and especially to your ankles,
- 00:14:22,023 --> 00:14:23,126 come back in for a touch-up.
- 00:14:23,226 --> 00:14:25,029 Satyr: Got it. Oh, I forgot
- 00:14:25,129 --> 00:14:26,499 to ask about pooing.
- 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,037 Dr. Paulakis: Don't! Satyr: Don't ask? Or...?
- 00:14:29,138 --> 00:14:30,473 Dr. Paulakis: You'd really better not.
- 00:14:30,574 --> 00:14:31,876 Deliria: Hello there. Sorry to bother you.
- 00:14:31,977 --> 00:14:33,346 Something's wrong with Hippocampus.
- 00:14:33,446 --> 00:14:35,917 You seem to have removed his intelligence.
- 00:14:36,017 --> 00:14:37,788 Dr. Paulakis: Did I not do what I said I would?
- 00:14:37,888 --> 00:14:39,825 Deliria: Yes, you made him hot, but you also
- 00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:42,096 made him into a vapid, brainless idiot,
- 00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:43,934 which is not what we wanted and also
- 00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:45,336 a really harmful stereotype.
- 00:14:45,403 --> 00:14:47,407 Dr. Paulakis: Well, I'm sorry, but the goo that
- 00:14:47,508 --> 00:14:48,844 contains a mortal's "ugly"
- 00:14:48,977 --> 00:14:51,282 also unfortunately contains their "smarts."
- 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:54,487 Suck out some ugly, you suck out some smarts. It's just science.
- 00:14:54,588 --> 00:14:56,091 Hippocampus: That makes total sense to me.
- 00:14:56,191 --> 00:14:57,861 I don't even need any further explanation.
- 00:14:57,995 --> 00:14:59,566 I'm just buying it and moving on.
- 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:00,967 Deliria: Just change him back.
- 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,672 He's like a whole new Hippocampus now
- 00:15:02,772 --> 00:15:03,807 and I really don't have the energy
- 00:15:03,907 --> 00:15:04,842 to get to know him again.
- 00:15:04,942 --> 00:15:06,445 Dr. Paulakis: Oh, I'm afraid
- 00:15:06,546 --> 00:15:07,413 I can't do that.
- 00:15:07,581 --> 00:15:08,717 Hippo's smart goo is
- 00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:10,152 incredibly valuable stuff.
- 00:15:10,252 --> 00:15:12,558 If you apply it topically, it plumps your lips
- 00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:13,860 like nothing else I've tried.
- 00:15:13,927 --> 00:15:15,029 Hippocampus: Ooh, really?
- 00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:16,098 Dr. Paulakis: Yes, I'm calling it
- 00:15:16,231 --> 00:15:17,400 Dr. Paulakis' Lip Food.
- 00:15:17,535 --> 00:15:18,937 Deliria: Oh, the packaging is superb,
- 00:15:19,038 --> 00:15:20,707 but that doesn't change the fact that
- 00:15:20,807 --> 00:15:22,010 he needs it all back!
- 00:15:22,143 --> 00:15:23,379 Dr. Paulakis: What did I tell you?
- 00:15:23,479 --> 00:15:24,414 It's mine now!
- 00:15:24,481 --> 00:15:26,620 Deliria: You have chosen the wrong battle!
- 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,356 Oh, my God. I hate how much
- 00:15:28,456 --> 00:15:29,692 I want one of those!
- 00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:30,861 Tyrannis: Dad, why did you think
- 00:15:30,994 --> 00:15:32,030 Jorbus was the ugly one?
- 00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:33,332 Shlub: It was an honest mistake.
- 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,203 Their names are silly and they rhyme.
- 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,506 Stupendous: You want me to just break it?
- 00:15:36,606 --> 00:15:37,741 Just give me the order.
- 00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,110 Tyrannis: Is there a way you could make it
- 00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:40,379 look like an accident? I would hate
- 00:15:40,479 --> 00:15:41,616 for people to think I ordered you
- 00:15:41,749 --> 00:15:42,752 to break my own statue
- 00:15:42,885 --> 00:15:43,954 because it looked like me.
- 00:15:44,054 --> 00:15:45,490 Shlub: Son, I owe you an apology.
- 00:15:45,591 --> 00:15:46,727 But not the one you think.
- 00:15:46,827 --> 00:15:48,262 I'm sorry that I didn't tell you
- 00:15:48,362 --> 00:15:51,770 from the very start that you're beautiful.
- 00:15:51,903 --> 00:15:53,774 I love what your soft jawline says
- 00:15:53,874 --> 00:15:55,443 about your babylike innocence.
- 00:15:55,544 --> 00:15:57,180 Tyrannis: OK, we don't need to get into details.
- 00:15:57,313 --> 00:15:59,151 Shlub: I love how the sun peeks through your sinewy legs.
- 00:15:59,284 --> 00:16:00,554 Tyrannis: The point is made. Stupendous: Stop there.
- 00:16:00,621 --> 00:16:02,457 Shlub: I think you unveil that statue
- 00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:04,796 as a proud symbol of the beauty in everyone.
- 00:16:04,929 --> 00:16:07,167 Tyrannis: No one will buy that. Shlub: I think they will.
- 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,739 I think they'll be inspired by your bravery.
- 00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:10,908 Tyrannis: But what if they aren't?
- 00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:12,611 Stupendous: Then we'll be inspired
- 00:16:12,745 --> 00:16:14,180 by your bravery.
- 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,724 Tyrannis: All right. I'll do it.
- 00:16:18,857 --> 00:16:19,892 You go ahead. I would like to just
- 00:16:19,992 --> 00:16:22,129 touch up one specific area.
- 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,436 [Deliria screaming]
- 00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:28,009 Dr. Paulakis: May I remind you I'm a demigod.
- 00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:31,983 You can't "zap" me. [Deliria screaming]
- 00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:34,054 Deliria: You can't keep anti-zapping me.
- 00:16:34,187 --> 00:16:36,191 You'll eventually run out.
- 00:16:36,325 --> 00:16:38,162 Dr. Paulakis: Uh, yeah, just like
- 00:16:38,296 --> 00:16:40,300 you'll eventually run out of Dr. Paulakis'
- 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,538 Three-in-One Chimera Egg Nighttime Neck Cream
- 00:16:42,672 --> 00:16:43,907 if I stop providing it to you.
- 00:16:44,007 --> 00:16:45,075 [Deliria gasps] You would never!
- 00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:46,178 Dr. Paulakis: I'm serious about
- 00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:47,748 my extracted goops.
- 00:16:47,848 --> 00:16:49,084 Deliria: He's like a son to me,
- 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,820 and as much as I love seeing him like this,
- 00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:53,092 I can't stand seeing him like this.
- 00:16:53,225 --> 00:16:54,494 Dr. Paulakis: Hm. There is one thing you have
- 00:16:54,595 --> 00:16:56,398 that I might trade for your son's smart goo.
- 00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:59,237 Deliria: Don't you ask for it. Dr. Paulakis: I'm asking for it.
- 00:16:59,304 --> 00:17:00,507 Hippocampus: What's he asking for?
- 00:17:00,641 --> 00:17:02,343 Deliria: My goddess goo. It's well known
- 00:17:02,477 --> 00:17:04,214 that the stuff that makes my hair lustrous
- 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,451 can be used to turn a demigod into a god.
- 00:17:06,586 --> 00:17:08,322 It's also an excellent insect repellent
- 00:17:08,422 --> 00:17:10,927 and very good for getting red wine out of white carpet.
- 00:17:11,028 --> 00:17:12,229 Dr. Paulakis: You make me immortal,
- 00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:14,536 I make your son an uggo scientist again.
- 00:17:14,669 --> 00:17:16,071 Hippocampus: But then what happens to my mom?
- 00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:18,577 Dr. Paulakis: She endures an entire day
- 00:17:18,711 --> 00:17:19,845 of terrible hair.
- 00:17:19,912 --> 00:17:21,816 Deliria: Oh, why don't you just kill me?
- 00:17:22,618 --> 00:17:24,756 Hippocampus: But then what happens to my mom?
- 00:17:24,856 --> 00:17:26,091 Tyrannis: People of Krapopolis.
- 00:17:26,258 --> 00:17:27,260 I almost didn't show you
- 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,596 what I'm about to show you,
- 00:17:28,696 --> 00:17:30,032 but a wiser man convinced me
- 00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:32,470 it was not just brave, but important.
- 00:17:32,604 --> 00:17:33,439 Joshua: Is it a clock?
- 00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:34,742 Tyrannis: Huh? No. I was going to
- 00:17:34,842 --> 00:17:36,278 make some phony, idealized
- 00:17:36,378 --> 00:17:38,216 statue of myself, because I didn't think
- 00:17:38,316 --> 00:17:40,219 who I actually am was enough--
- 00:17:40,286 --> 00:17:41,422 or even acceptable.
- 00:17:41,523 --> 00:17:43,158 But I learned something important today.
- 00:17:43,258 --> 00:17:45,697 I learned we need to love ourselves not in spite of,
- 00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:48,703 but because of, our so-called "imperfections."
- 00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:50,674 And that's something we all could stand to learn,
- 00:17:50,774 --> 00:17:53,813 no matter how conventionally attractive we are or aren't.
- 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,185 So, I'm not going to show you some cleaned-up fantasy.
- 00:17:56,285 --> 00:18:00,092 I want you to see your king as he really is.
- 00:18:00,193 --> 00:18:02,564 [Citizens gasping]
- 00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:04,935 Tyrannis: You see, it's inspirational because--
- 00:18:05,035 --> 00:18:06,104 Miriam: No, I get that part.
- 00:18:06,238 --> 00:18:07,542 I mean I follow the reasoning,
- 00:18:07,642 --> 00:18:09,712 such as it is. I'm just sitting here thinking,
- 00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:11,650 "What did we spend on this?"
- 00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:13,252 Tyrannis: This is uplifting. It's a symbol
- 00:18:13,352 --> 00:18:14,689 that everyone is beautiful,
- 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:15,957 that we should love ourselves.
- 00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:17,193 That's important!
- 00:18:17,326 --> 00:18:18,564 Joshua: As important as a sinkhole?
- 00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,332 How much did that huge chunk of marble cost?
- 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:22,003 That's not cheap. Kayleigh: Also,
- 00:18:22,103 --> 00:18:24,007 did you make the genitals bigger?
- 00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:25,175 I certainly couldn't.
- 00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:28,281 [Laughter, citizens talking at once]
- 00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:30,486 Woman: We have a serious goat problem?
- 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,625 Man: ...it's just stuck on! Tyrannis: They aren't ready.
- 00:18:32,725 --> 00:18:35,029 They can't see the forest for the trees.
- 00:18:35,096 --> 00:18:36,599 Stupendous: I think it's the other way around,
- 00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:39,371 but you could fix that with some clippers.
- 00:18:39,471 --> 00:18:41,041 Dr. Paulakis: OK, Hippo. Say good-bye to your
- 00:18:41,141 --> 00:18:42,477 perfect cheekbones.
- 00:18:42,611 --> 00:18:48,623 Hippocampus: AAaaaAAAHhHHHHhhHhHH!
- 00:18:48,723 --> 00:18:50,827 Dr. Paulakis: Bony wrists. Goony neck.
- 00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:51,963 Congestive heart failure.
- 00:18:52,063 --> 00:18:53,331 Yep, he's normal-looking again.
- 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:54,636 Hippocampus: And I can tell I'm smarter
- 00:18:54,736 --> 00:18:56,773 because I'm rationalizing away any feeling
- 00:18:56,873 --> 00:18:57,941 of regret about that.
- 00:18:58,075 --> 00:18:59,277 And I know that's what I'm doing,
- 00:18:59,344 --> 00:19:00,847 and I'm able to compartmentalize it.
- 00:19:00,947 --> 00:19:04,021 Yep, I'm back to normal. Do I get to keep my towels?
- 00:19:04,121 --> 00:19:05,591 Dr. Paulakis: Do you think you deserve them?
- 00:19:05,724 --> 00:19:06,960 Hippocampus: No. Deliria: All right,
- 00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:08,295 all right, my turn.
- 00:19:08,395 --> 00:19:09,330 What's all this about?
- 00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:10,967 Shlub: Ty's proud of his body.
- 00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:12,170 Deliria: Well, good for him, I suppose.
- 00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:13,272 Stupendous: What happened to you?
- 00:19:13,372 --> 00:19:14,542 Hippocampus: She sacrificed
- 00:19:14,642 --> 00:19:15,911 her hair for me.
- 00:19:16,846 --> 00:19:18,983 Tyrannis: Wait. I don't see it. It looks the same. Aah!
- 00:19:19,083 --> 00:19:21,723 Deliria: Are you kidding me? It's 20%
- 00:19:21,823 --> 00:19:22,891 thinner in the back!
- 00:19:22,958 --> 00:19:24,227 I look hideous!
- 00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:26,398 And I refuse to live this way.
- 00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:30,640 Um...You'll do. Stand still. King Jorbus: Ahh!
- 00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:38,790 Why? Why me?
- 00:19:38,890 --> 00:19:40,026 My looks are all I have!
- 00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:41,428 My brother got everything else!
- 00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:42,531 Not just the singing voice,
- 00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:44,167 he also does home repair stuff.
- 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,336 Anything, he's just on it.
- 00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:46,371 It's like a sixth sense.
- 00:19:46,505 --> 00:19:47,775 I see a broken doorknob
- 00:19:47,908 --> 00:19:48,943 and I have to hire someone.
- 00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:50,245 Deliria: Thank you. Move along.
- 00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:53,285 Look at the little statue. Be inspired.
- 00:19:53,385 --> 00:19:55,322 Deliria's back!
- 00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:00,133 Narrator: Just as their king predicted,
- 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:01,468 the citizens of Krapopolis came to appreciate
- 00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:03,774 the natural beauty of their statue.
- 00:20:03,874 --> 00:20:05,176 Krapopolis became a center of--
- 00:20:05,276 --> 00:20:06,478 [Ringtone]
- 00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:07,981 Oh, hang on. David? I need to call you back.
- 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,284 I'm recording a V.O. thing.
- 00:20:09,384 --> 00:20:11,154 Scary man: I've got your boyfriend.
- 00:20:11,287 --> 00:20:12,424 Narrator: What? Who is this?
- 00:20:12,525 --> 00:20:13,660 Scary man: I have your boyfriend.
- 00:20:13,794 --> 00:20:16,331 Come to the door if you want him to live.
- 00:20:16,431 --> 00:20:17,734 Narrator: What? Are you serious?
- 00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,304 [Banging on door]
- 00:20:19,404 --> 00:20:21,208 [Inaudible voice] [Bang]
- 00:20:21,308 --> 00:20:23,580 Narrator: Aah! No! What are you--get off me!
- 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,249 Scary man: Stand still! Get this on!
- 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,886 Narrator: You're not putting a hood on me!
- 00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:29,290 Scary man: I said stand still!
- 00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:30,560 Narrator: No! Let go of me!
- 00:20:30,694 --> 00:20:33,165 [Narrator and scary man struggle]
- 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,367 Scary man: What is that, a knife?
- 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,271 Put that down! [Narrator screams]
- 00:20:36,405 --> 00:20:38,610 Scary man: No! Ahh! No! [Narrator screaming]
- 00:20:38,777 --> 00:20:42,249 [Stabbing]
- 00:20:42,349 --> 00:20:44,788 [Narrator breathing heavily]
- 00:20:45,924 --> 00:20:48,597 David: Pippa? Narrator: David? [Breathing heavily]
- 00:20:48,697 --> 00:20:50,232 David: Oh, my God, what have you done?
- 00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:51,434 Narrator: He was going to kill you.
- 00:20:51,535 --> 00:20:52,838 He tried to kidnap me.
- 00:20:52,938 --> 00:20:55,811 David: Yes, we booked that kidnapping experience.
- 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,717 Narrator: That was today? David: Yes!
- 00:20:58,817 --> 00:21:00,587 Narrator: Oh, God! David: Remember?
- 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,427 It was a fake kidnapping? Fun romantic thing?
- 00:21:04,528 --> 00:21:06,031 What the hell did you do?
- 00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:08,402 Narrator: I killed him. David: Oh, I'm gonna be sick.
- 00:21:08,503 --> 00:21:09,671 Narrator: Sh-sh-shhh! Let's just think,
- 00:21:09,772 --> 00:21:11,141 lemme just think!
- 00:21:11,241 --> 00:21:12,745 Get that rug. We need to get rid of the body.
- 00:21:12,845 --> 00:21:15,249 David: Are you serious? Uhh. Narrator: Do it!
- 00:21:15,349 --> 00:21:17,688 [Running footsteps]
- 00:21:18,322 --> 00:21:20,326 Narrator: Krapopolis became a center of
- 00:21:20,426 --> 00:21:21,696 body positivity,
- 00:21:21,829 --> 00:21:23,533 a beacon to the world.
- 00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:25,136 Do we have it? I think we have it.
- 00:21:25,236 --> 00:21:26,305 Gotta go!
- 00:21:26,438 --> 00:21:28,041 Dan Harmon: Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:30,479 --> 00:21:32,449 Voice: Bento. [Cheering]
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