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Один глаз, одно сердце. Она тупица.
One Eye One Heart She's Stupe
Сезон: 02Серия: 17
Описание
Пока Шлуб пытается вернуть себе свою сущность, Тираннис узнает, что у Шлуба есть сицилийские родственники. Посланник сообщает Тираннису, что армия во главе с великим воином Гектором приближается к Крапополису, и любой желающий может прийти в амфитеатр, чтобы увидеть его. Делирия и Шлуб видят, как Гектор и его армия разыгрывают имитацию битвы. Любой, кому понравится представление, может принести жертву его покровителю Аполлону. Поскольку Делирия и Гектор знакомы, Делирия планирует пригласить Ступендуса выступить в своем шоу, спонсируя его, пока касситы не нападут на Крапополис. Тем временем Тираннис изучает Сицилию, а Шлуб под влиянием Тиранниса и Гиппокампа соглашается отвезти их к родственникам: тете Розе, дяде Винсу, Антонио, Анджело, Марии, Чекке, Антонело, Кармеле, Кармело, Салу, Нунцио и другим кузенам. Их визит прерывается появлением их кузенов, семьи Бонасера, которые заявляют, что семья тети Розы украла их ферму, что приводит к семейной ссоре.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,073 --> 00:00:04,576 And here you go,
- 00:00:04,710 --> 00:00:05,778 and this is for you,
- 00:00:05,878 --> 00:00:06,814 and you get a little.
- 00:00:06,914 --> 00:00:08,283 Dad, what are you doing?
- 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:11,456 Every so often I have to go through and remusk
- 00:00:11,557 --> 00:00:12,491 all of my possessions.
- 00:00:12,626 --> 00:00:14,129 Otherwise, who would know they're mine?
- 00:00:14,229 --> 00:00:15,531 Oh, this is a family heirloom.
- 00:00:15,631 --> 00:00:17,400 Won't be losing this.
- 00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:19,906 Don't touch that. It's mine.
- 00:00:20,007 --> 00:00:21,042 Yes, so I smelled.
- 00:00:21,142 --> 00:00:22,512 It's interesting. Looks foreign.
- 00:00:22,646 --> 00:00:25,918 It's actually from the Sicilian side of my family.
- 00:00:26,018 --> 00:00:27,990 - I have Sicilian relatives? - Yes.
- 00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:30,060 It's one of those big, warm, loving families.
- 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,064 - You know Sicilians. - I don't.
- 00:00:32,164 --> 00:00:33,767 Is that what they're like?
- 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:34,903 Who's this?
- 00:00:35,004 --> 00:00:36,406 Well, there's your Aunt Rosa.
- 00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:37,876 And who is she smiling at? Her son,
- 00:00:37,976 --> 00:00:39,279 which would be your cousin Sal.
- 00:00:39,379 --> 00:00:40,715 She looks like she loves him.
- 00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:42,952 Bet she never cuts him down with sarcastic asides.
- 00:00:43,052 --> 00:00:45,592 How wonderful that must be for them both.
- 00:00:45,692 --> 00:00:46,661 May I keep this?
- 00:00:46,761 --> 00:00:48,931 If you can overpower your old man's scent,
- 00:00:49,031 --> 00:00:50,635 then it's all yours.
- 00:00:50,735 --> 00:00:52,939 King Ty, I've just run all day and night
- 00:00:53,072 --> 00:00:54,308 to bring you this news.
- 00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:55,845 Sounds like you ran all day and night
- 00:00:55,979 --> 00:00:57,247 to tell us you're into running.
- 00:00:57,248 --> 00:00:58,918 That's just like runners, isn't it?
- 00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,287 Every chance they get to work it in.
- 00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:01,924 Forgive me. I shouldn't have bragged
- 00:01:02,024 --> 00:01:03,191 about the running part.
- 00:01:03,192 --> 00:01:04,730 Hss. It's just pretty extraordinary.
- 00:01:04,863 --> 00:01:07,100 The last guy who ran this far died immediately after
- 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,370 delivering his message.
- 00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:10,040 Well, I suppose you'd better spit it out
- 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,210 rather than foist your lifestyle choices on us.
- 00:01:12,311 --> 00:01:14,348 Once again, I didn't come here to tell you I run,
- 00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:16,119 although there are some great trails around here,
- 00:01:16,219 --> 00:01:17,688 and it's true about the runner's high.
- 00:01:17,689 --> 00:01:19,626 Spit it out! An army approaches.
- 00:01:19,726 --> 00:01:21,062 Is it the Kassites?
- 00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:24,001 No. The great warrior Hector with his men.
- 00:01:24,101 --> 00:01:26,106 Hector? Hector! Yes.
- 00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:28,243 He says anyone who wants to see something spectacular
- 00:01:28,343 --> 00:01:29,813 should gather in the amphitheater.
- 00:01:29,913 --> 00:01:31,249 We have an amphitheater?
- 00:01:31,349 --> 00:01:32,652 Stupendous used to worship Hector.
- 00:01:32,752 --> 00:01:34,355 Yeah. I don't know about worship.
- 00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:36,292 You had a fresco of him in your bedroom.
- 00:01:36,392 --> 00:01:38,864 I ate so much plaster making out with that thing.
- 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,299 It's one of the reasons I get turned on
- 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,770 when I smell someone getting a cast.
- 00:01:41,903 --> 00:01:43,942 Well, I think we should go and see him.
- 00:01:44,042 --> 00:01:45,679 Runner person, when is the show?
- 00:01:45,779 --> 00:01:48,150 - He didn't say. - Well, could you find out?
- 00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:49,653 Don't have to ask me twice.
- 00:01:49,786 --> 00:01:50,955 Anyone want to come with?
- 00:01:51,056 --> 00:01:52,826 Best way to start is to just dive in.
- 00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,796 Anyone? No? All right.
- 00:01:54,896 --> 00:01:56,199 Have fun with your heart disease.
- 00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:57,702 No offense. Wish you all the best.
- 00:01:57,835 --> 00:01:59,171 Just saying.
- 00:02:15,805 --> 00:02:16,940 ♪ Huh ♪
- 00:02:17,107 --> 00:02:20,513 ♪ Huh huh huh huh ♪
- 00:02:20,514 --> 00:02:22,685 ♪ Whoo ♪
- 00:02:24,956 --> 00:02:26,827 Oh! There's Hector now.
- 00:02:26,927 --> 00:02:28,731 God, look at those muscles.
- 00:02:28,831 --> 00:02:31,336 He looks like a wineskin full of watermelons,
- 00:02:31,436 --> 00:02:33,006 and I do mean that in a good way.
- 00:02:33,106 --> 00:02:35,812 What would the bad way be?
- 00:02:35,912 --> 00:02:38,817 Ha ha ha! Aah!
- 00:02:39,886 --> 00:02:41,757 Ha ha! Hyah!
- 00:02:43,695 --> 00:02:45,865 Hold on. That guy's not oozing
- 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,535 or spraying anything.
- 00:02:47,636 --> 00:02:48,605 Where's the blood
- 00:02:48,705 --> 00:02:50,340 and that mush that comes out of people's ears
- 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:51,910 when you hit them in the head too hard?
- 00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:53,648 Well, he's not actually hurt.
- 00:02:53,748 --> 00:02:56,118 Huh? Then why is everyone applauding?
- 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,156 Stupendous, it's a performance.
- 00:02:58,289 --> 00:02:59,491 These men are heroes.
- 00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:01,530 They're much too famous for real war.
- 00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:04,335 Real heroes fight in real wars.
- 00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,038 This is more like, uh--
- 00:03:06,138 --> 00:03:07,742 A skillful, choreographed dance?
- 00:03:07,842 --> 00:03:10,046 I was gonna say a big, stupid lie.
- 00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,583 It makes a mockery of battle.
- 00:03:11,683 --> 00:03:13,787 Oh, this is better than battle, Stupendous.
- 00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:15,290 This is a show.
- 00:03:15,390 --> 00:03:17,026 Hyah! Unh!
- 00:03:17,027 --> 00:03:18,898 Confettied them right in the face!
- 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:24,175 This is what the great hero of old Troy does now,
- 00:03:24,275 --> 00:03:25,545 play fighting?!
- 00:03:25,645 --> 00:03:27,782 And making a killing in mutton legs
- 00:03:27,882 --> 00:03:29,185 and novelty tourniquets.
- 00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:30,588 I wonder who represents him.
- 00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:32,290 Thanks, everybody. Thank you.
- 00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:34,562 I'd like to thank Apollo for his favor.
- 00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:36,666 If you liked today's show, please make
- 00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:39,437 a livestock sacrifice to the Sun God.
- 00:03:39,438 --> 00:03:41,610 Of course, like that tow-headed fop
- 00:03:41,711 --> 00:03:44,215 isn't already drowning in fatted lambs.
- 00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:47,287 Apollo hogs all the best warriors and hogs.
- 00:03:47,387 --> 00:03:50,027 These aren't warriors. Warriors war in wars,
- 00:03:50,127 --> 00:03:53,066 and they definitely don't curtsy after they get stabbed.
- 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,703 Oh, come on, Stupendous.
- 00:03:54,803 --> 00:03:57,141 Isn't there a little part of you that would like to be up there?
- 00:03:57,241 --> 00:03:58,678 This is what you do.
- 00:03:58,811 --> 00:03:59,846 This is not what I do.
- 00:03:59,946 --> 00:04:02,117 I mean, do I ever throw in a little cartwheel
- 00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:03,753 when I'm kicking a guy's head off?
- 00:04:03,754 --> 00:04:06,726 Sure! I've got as much style as the next guy, but this--
- 00:04:06,827 --> 00:04:08,931 Eat my child and call me Zeus.
- 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,634 Is that the goddess Deliria?
- 00:04:10,635 --> 00:04:13,674 Hector, you were magnificent!
- 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,445 Really? I feel like the short shadow of the sun show
- 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,951 is never as good as the long shadow show.
- 00:04:19,052 --> 00:04:20,419 Oh, stop.
- 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:23,392 You know, my daughter is something of a hero, too.
- 00:04:23,492 --> 00:04:25,598 You don't say. You know, we're always looking
- 00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:27,869 for warriors with fancy feet and a winning smile.
- 00:04:27,969 --> 00:04:30,374 Thanks, but I do my winning on the battlefield.
- 00:04:30,474 --> 00:04:31,910 Ha ha ha! Suit yourself.
- 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,181 Del hon, let me know the next time you're coming.
- 00:04:34,281 --> 00:04:36,386 I'll get you comped. If you'll excuse me!
- 00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:39,091 Look, Stupendous. Fans!
- 00:04:39,092 --> 00:04:40,360 OK, everybody.
- 00:04:40,494 --> 00:04:43,766 On 3, take a very vivid mental picture.
- 00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,937 Sorry. I blinked. One more--one more time,
- 00:04:45,938 --> 00:04:47,108 one more time.
- 00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:48,544 Oh, Ty. There you are.
- 00:04:48,678 --> 00:04:51,248 Nunus tenti mim! Is that Hittite?
- 00:04:51,382 --> 00:04:54,154 It's "Hello, brother" in Siculian, I think.
- 00:04:54,288 --> 00:04:56,292 That's one of the languages of Sicily.
- 00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:58,129 Now, I've made a us a real, traditional,
- 00:04:58,296 --> 00:04:59,497 authentic Sicilian meal,
- 00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:01,068 not the stuff you'd get in the colonies
- 00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:02,471 or some Phoenician trading post.
- 00:05:02,572 --> 00:05:04,743 I'm talking Sicani, Siculi, Elimi.
- 00:05:04,876 --> 00:05:07,180 - Excuse me? - He's obsessed with Sicily.
- 00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:08,416 Not obsessed.
- 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,953 Simply getting in touch with my roots.
- 00:05:10,053 --> 00:05:12,024 Bandfish with cheese? Pistachios, introduced
- 00:05:12,124 --> 00:05:13,260 to the island by Arabian traders,
- 00:05:13,393 --> 00:05:14,529 according to my research.
- 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:15,932 You cooked? I've got plenty of
- 00:05:16,032 --> 00:05:17,234 poison in my lab already.
- 00:05:17,334 --> 00:05:18,637 You know what? I looked at this vase
- 00:05:18,737 --> 00:05:20,908 and realized we don't have to be like this.
- 00:05:21,008 --> 00:05:22,311 We don't hug each other.
- 00:05:22,411 --> 00:05:23,980 We leave each other hanging, and we certainly don't
- 00:05:23,981 --> 00:05:25,450 dance shoulder to shoulder.
- 00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:27,589 Because we're smart and your shoulders are pointy.
- 00:05:27,722 --> 00:05:29,526 Dad, what can you tell me about my Aunt Rosa?
- 00:05:29,626 --> 00:05:31,997 Does she have a lilting voice? I bet she has a lilting voice.
- 00:05:32,130 --> 00:05:34,201 Look. I've had very little contact with them.
- 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,372 They're just people who live somewhere else
- 00:05:36,472 --> 00:05:38,978 and happen to have someone in their family tree
- 00:05:39,078 --> 00:05:40,515 who slept with someone in mine.
- 00:05:40,615 --> 00:05:42,484 And from there, two families diverged.
- 00:05:42,585 --> 00:05:45,422 One grew cold and self-centered as the other tended
- 00:05:45,423 --> 00:05:47,562 the fields under the blue Sicilian sky,
- 00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:50,234 singing and laughing together, growing pistachios,
- 00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:52,438 commonly referred to as the warmest of nuts.
- 00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:53,974 I can think of two warmer.
- 00:05:54,074 --> 00:05:56,514 - Dad, could you fly me there? - I don't know, son.
- 00:05:56,614 --> 00:05:59,786 In my experience, family can be a real mixed bag.
- 00:05:59,886 --> 00:06:02,457 Yeah. I'd hate to see you go there and be disappointed.
- 00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:04,762 What am I saying? I would love to see that.
- 00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:07,668 Same here. Plus, we're out of pistachios.
- 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,606 So how was the show?
- 00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:11,844 Is he as good as they say in all the odes?
- 00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:14,749 Better. Live battle is such a thrill.
- 00:06:14,849 --> 00:06:17,254 This is crazy. I got way more battle skills
- 00:06:17,354 --> 00:06:18,556 than any of those guys.
- 00:06:18,557 --> 00:06:20,026 Well, of course you do, darling.
- 00:06:20,126 --> 00:06:22,364 So how come Scott's never breathlessly referred
- 00:06:22,464 --> 00:06:24,535 to my work as "a revelation"?
- 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,907 The only reason everybody doesn't know that
- 00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:29,311 is because you always kill or cut out the tongue
- 00:06:29,411 --> 00:06:31,583 of anyone who could pass on that information.
- 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:34,856 You have to leave someone alive with a tongue
- 00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:36,224 to tell the story.
- 00:06:36,225 --> 00:06:38,430 Leave someone alive with a tongue?
- 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,368 Why don't I just braid them a friendship bracelet?
- 00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:43,105 It just sucks to do all the work and get
- 00:06:43,106 --> 00:06:44,375 none of the recognition.
- 00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:47,549 Ugh. Stupendous, the heroes who get odes and fans
- 00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:50,019 are just the ones who know how to self-promote.
- 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,222 Isn't that kind of gross?
- 00:06:51,322 --> 00:06:52,893 Gross and necessary.
- 00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:54,695 If you want people to recognize your talent,
- 00:06:54,696 --> 00:06:57,668 I could be your sponsor, like Hector has Apollo.
- 00:06:57,669 --> 00:06:59,839 It would be a way for us to spend some
- 00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:00,975 more time together.
- 00:07:01,108 --> 00:07:02,778 Well, that would be nice, I guess.
- 00:07:02,878 --> 00:07:05,717 There we go, and of course, as your mother,
- 00:07:05,818 --> 00:07:09,492 I would waive the traditional 15% of all burnt offerings.
- 00:07:09,593 --> 00:07:13,433 How does 10 sound? 8, but that's as low as I go.
- 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,203 - 9. - OK, maybe,
- 00:07:15,303 --> 00:07:16,506 but I'm not wearing makeup!
- 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,942 You will wear stage makeup,
- 00:07:18,042 --> 00:07:20,012 or I shall smite everyone in this town.
- 00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:22,518 Fine, but no blush. It washes me out.
- 00:07:22,685 --> 00:07:24,421 Wow! So she's gonna do it, huh?
- 00:07:24,522 --> 00:07:25,991 This is very exciting!
- 00:07:26,091 --> 00:07:28,263 Who is this? Are you part of this somehow?
- 00:07:28,396 --> 00:07:29,699 Am I supposed to know who you are?
- 00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,271 I thought so, but I guess it's good
- 00:07:32,438 --> 00:07:33,774 to know if not.
- 00:07:39,953 --> 00:07:41,990 Mm-wha. There. Now you're ready to knock them dead.
- 00:07:42,124 --> 00:07:44,328 Isn't that specifically what I'm not doing?
- 00:07:44,462 --> 00:07:46,600 What you're doing is becoming a legend
- 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:50,306 sponsored by the goddess of winning--Deliria.
- 00:07:51,776 --> 00:07:53,313 Hyah!
- 00:07:54,616 --> 00:07:56,185 Whoa. What are you doing?
- 00:07:56,285 --> 00:07:57,454 Gargie doesn't feel pain.
- 00:07:57,555 --> 00:07:59,091 Oh, Gargie can't feel pain,
- 00:07:59,191 --> 00:08:00,762 but can Gargie die of burns?
- 00:08:00,862 --> 00:08:03,634 Uh, I don't think so. Now go put yourself out.
- 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:06,004 We need to burn something during the show.
- 00:08:06,906 --> 00:08:10,915 Ha! Who is this tall drink of razzmatazz?
- 00:08:11,015 --> 00:08:12,952 Showbiz looks good on you, Stupendous.
- 00:08:13,053 --> 00:08:15,023 Thank you. I did the makeup.
- 00:08:15,123 --> 00:08:17,461 I'm getting rather good at lightning bolts.
- 00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:19,298 I'm a big fan of your earlier stuff.
- 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,634 Oh, the Trojan War? Ha!
- 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,137 Yeah, yeah, yeah, people love that one,
- 00:08:22,237 --> 00:08:25,343 but it's the stuff I do now that really gets
- 00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:26,713 the blind men talking.
- 00:08:26,846 --> 00:08:29,352 - Are you wearing fake hair? - Oh, it's not fake hair.
- 00:08:29,452 --> 00:08:30,587 It's show hair, and it's real.
- 00:08:30,721 --> 00:08:31,890 It's just not mine.
- 00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:33,594 So you want to be a part of the show?
- 00:08:33,727 --> 00:08:34,996 - What can you do? - Oh, I don't know.
- 00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:36,600 Kill with my sword. Kill with my ax.
- 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,503 Kill with pulling guys apart with my hands.
- 00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:39,906 Kill with stomping my feet.
- 00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:41,441 Kill with crushing guys between my thighs.
- 00:08:41,543 --> 00:08:43,045 Kill with throwing guys off of cliffs.
- 00:08:43,145 --> 00:08:44,916 Kill with throwing guys off of high walls. Um...
- 00:08:45,016 --> 00:08:46,485 That's why you've never heard of her.
- 00:08:46,653 --> 00:08:48,456 Everyone she encounters dies.
- 00:08:48,557 --> 00:08:50,227 What's that little battle cry you have that
- 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,596 always makes me chuckle?
- 00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:54,801 - Not today! - Oh, she's good, isn't she?
- 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:57,007 Thanks, Mom. OK, Stupendous.
- 00:08:57,107 --> 00:08:59,846 Show me what that big, beautiful arm can do.
- 00:08:59,946 --> 00:09:02,651 Knock his beard off! I know you can do it.
- 00:09:02,652 --> 00:09:06,291 You're my daughter, and you're Stupendous.
- 00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:14,007 Oh, check it out.
- 00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:21,122 Ha ha! That's what I'm talking about.
- 00:09:22,224 --> 00:09:25,296 Deliria, where did you find this star?
- 00:09:25,297 --> 00:09:27,902 In my uterus!
- 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,239 Now, Ty, there's a very real chance
- 00:09:30,373 --> 00:09:31,810 they hate me for some reason.
- 00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:34,549 That's not based on anything I know about them.
- 00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:36,352 It's just an observable pattern.
- 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:40,327 I doubt our Sicilian... tigge, uh, would hate you.
- 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:42,464 That's Elymian for "family," I think.
- 00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:44,569 Might actually be Siculian.
- 00:09:44,703 --> 00:09:45,671 Who's there?
- 00:09:45,805 --> 00:09:47,408 Uh, hello. Nunu-- Huh?
- 00:09:47,509 --> 00:09:49,612 Uh, my, uh, name is Tyrannis,
- 00:09:49,613 --> 00:09:52,184 and I believe we are distant relatives.
- 00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:55,290 Sal, who's at the door? His name's Tyrannis.
- 00:09:55,390 --> 00:09:56,727 He says he's a distant relative.
- 00:09:56,827 --> 00:09:58,495 - A relative? - Yeah, distant.
- 00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:01,401 We got family at the door? That's what Sal says.
- 00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:02,671 Yeah. Distant relatives.
- 00:10:02,805 --> 00:10:04,341 Distant means nothing to me.
- 00:10:04,442 --> 00:10:06,278 Hey, everybody. There's family here.
- 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,655 I'm your Auntie Rosa. This is your Uncle Vince.
- 00:10:10,755 --> 00:10:13,059 These are your cousins Antonia, Angelo, Maria,
- 00:10:13,159 --> 00:10:16,667 Checca, Antonelo, Carmala, Carmalo, Sal, Nunzio,
- 00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:18,236 and there's a bunch more in the kitchen.
- 00:10:18,336 --> 00:10:19,606 Are you hungry?
- 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:20,974 Of course he's hungry. Look at him.
- 00:10:21,108 --> 00:10:22,645 Hey. You like pistachios?
- 00:10:22,745 --> 00:10:24,583 We grow them on our farm. Out of this world.
- 00:10:24,683 --> 00:10:25,851 What do you do for a living, Ty?
- 00:10:25,951 --> 00:10:27,287 Well, I'm the king of Krapop--
- 00:10:27,387 --> 00:10:29,291 A king? Everybody, cousin Ty's a king!
- 00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:30,626 - Ohh! - Ohh!
- 00:10:30,627 --> 00:10:32,497 Sal, get some pistachios for your king cousin!
- 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,134 I got to hand it to you, Ty.
- 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,571 Your family is awesome.
- 00:10:35,671 --> 00:10:36,973 His family? Ohh!
- 00:10:37,073 --> 00:10:39,344 You're in this great big meatball, too, Pesce.
- 00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:42,251 You have to stay for dinner.
- 00:10:42,384 --> 00:10:44,154 This isn't dinner? No. We eat constantly.
- 00:10:44,254 --> 00:10:45,991 And after dinner, will there be dancing?
- 00:10:46,091 --> 00:10:47,661 Will there be dancing? Are you out of your mind?
- 00:10:47,795 --> 00:10:49,196 Of course there'll be dancing.
- 00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:55,142 Ladies and gentlemen, people and horse people,
- 00:10:55,143 --> 00:10:56,245 are you ready?
- 00:10:56,345 --> 00:10:57,782 No. I can't hear you.
- 00:10:57,882 --> 00:11:03,660 I said are you ready for the showdowwwwnnn?
- 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,765 Now don't be nervous. You've got this.
- 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,870 Why would I be nervous? I've killed actual armies.
- 00:11:08,971 --> 00:11:11,108 This is nothing. Wait. Are you nervous?
- 00:11:11,209 --> 00:11:15,450 No. Just do everything exactly the way we rehearsed and smile.
- 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:16,686 People love a happy warrior.
- 00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:17,988 OK.
- 00:11:18,089 --> 00:11:20,627 Hailing from the Polis of Krap,
- 00:11:20,727 --> 00:11:22,297 it's the Mountain of the Mediterranean,
- 00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:24,267 the one-eyed wonder herself,
- 00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:29,178 the sexy, super Stupendous!
- 00:11:29,311 --> 00:11:33,620 And from the dungeon under that spooky castle in Thebes,
- 00:11:33,753 --> 00:11:35,691 you know him, you fear him.
- 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:38,262 I just think he's kind of cute.
- 00:11:38,362 --> 00:11:40,901 Dragonnnnn!
- 00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:45,511 Warriors, ready?
- 00:11:45,611 --> 00:11:46,980 Battle!
- 00:11:54,294 --> 00:11:56,599 Aah!
- 00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:58,269 Hyah!
- 00:11:59,705 --> 00:12:01,643 Hoo! Aah! Ooh!
- 00:12:05,518 --> 00:12:07,287 Huh! Ah! Unh!
- 00:12:08,557 --> 00:12:09,892 Stay down! What?
- 00:12:09,992 --> 00:12:11,663 He has to do his catchphrase first.
- 00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,801 Know why they call me dragon?
- 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:18,076 'Cause I'm draggin' this tail across your face!
- 00:12:18,176 --> 00:12:20,046 Unh! Agh!
- 00:12:20,146 --> 00:12:21,849 Now you!
- 00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:23,419 Not today!
- 00:12:23,553 --> 00:12:25,056 Aah!
- 00:12:25,156 --> 00:12:26,526 Ohh!
- 00:12:35,176 --> 00:12:38,951 Ladies and gentlemen, the great Stupendous,
- 00:12:39,084 --> 00:12:42,992 daughter of me, destroyer of this dragon.
- 00:12:43,092 --> 00:12:46,098 Are you getting all this, blind men in the press box?
- 00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:49,438 Bland man: Can someone describe him to us?
- 00:12:51,075 --> 00:12:52,845 I can't believe Ty was right.
- 00:12:52,945 --> 00:12:54,181 This family seems awesome.
- 00:12:54,281 --> 00:12:55,884 You know what they remind me of?
- 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,120 Strangers at the bar.
- 00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,757 You know, that's exactly right.
- 00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,226 It's like a family that acts like drunk people
- 00:13:00,326 --> 00:13:02,464 you don't know that make you feel more like family
- 00:13:02,599 --> 00:13:03,734 than family does.
- 00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,336 See? This is how it should be.
- 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,140 Shoulder to shoulder. Just how I dreamt it.
- 00:13:07,307 --> 00:13:09,444 They enjoy each other, look after each other.
- 00:13:09,545 --> 00:13:10,814 I've not seen one eyeroll.
- 00:13:10,914 --> 00:13:12,585 Do you know how hard it is to go through a day
- 00:13:12,685 --> 00:13:13,887 in our house without being eyerolled
- 00:13:13,987 --> 00:13:15,189 or eyerolling someone else?
- 00:13:15,289 --> 00:13:16,727 I do it constantly at home,
- 00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:18,162 but here, I wouldn't think of it.
- 00:13:18,262 --> 00:13:19,698 I don't even feel dumb dancing.
- 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,335 I'm feeling so at ease here,
- 00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:24,441 I've not once had the urge to change the topic to sex.
- 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:28,048 Wait. Do I change the topic to sex to avoid discomfort?
- 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,387 Let's everyone have sex with everyone else.
- 00:13:31,556 --> 00:13:33,058 Who's that? More family?
- 00:13:33,158 --> 00:13:36,198 No, it's our cousins, the Bonaseras.
- 00:13:36,298 --> 00:13:38,871 Even more family. What an embarrassment of riches.
- 00:13:38,971 --> 00:13:40,707 We hate them. Why do we hate them?
- 00:13:40,807 --> 00:13:42,612 They disrespected us.
- 00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:43,913 Who would do such a thing?
- 00:13:43,914 --> 00:13:45,517 Because you stole our farm!
- 00:13:45,651 --> 00:13:46,686 Is that true?
- 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:48,022 Of course we stole their farm
- 00:13:48,122 --> 00:13:49,559 because they disrespected us.
- 00:13:49,659 --> 00:13:51,529 We didn't start disrespecting you until after.
- 00:13:51,629 --> 00:13:52,931 There were inklings.
- 00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:55,437 We stole their farm on a hunch of disrespect?
- 00:13:55,538 --> 00:13:57,641 We stole it on inklings.
- 00:13:57,642 --> 00:13:58,810 Full family fight!
- 00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:00,112 Full family fight!
- 00:14:00,213 --> 00:14:02,886 Full family fight! Full family fight!
- 00:14:03,019 --> 00:14:05,289 - Fists? - Sure. Knives?
- 00:14:05,423 --> 00:14:06,692 You betcha. Bats?
- 00:14:06,793 --> 00:14:07,929 Pillows maybe.
- 00:14:08,029 --> 00:14:09,331 Filled with rocks. Yes.
- 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:12,404 One of our two whole families is dying tonight!
- 00:14:14,976 --> 00:14:18,081 Apollo, I didn't know you'd be here.
- 00:14:18,082 --> 00:14:20,487 Yeah, I had to welcome you to the big leagues.
- 00:14:20,588 --> 00:14:21,790 Please make a plate.
- 00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:23,126 I always make sure Hector has
- 00:14:23,226 --> 00:14:24,863 the best snacks for his strength.
- 00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:26,298 Goddess Deliria! Oh. It's you.
- 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,902 - I've run all day and night. - There we go.
- 00:14:28,903 --> 00:14:30,439 The Kassites are invading.
- 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,711 This one likes to talk about how far he's run.
- 00:14:32,811 --> 00:14:34,381 Can't get enough of it. Oh, yeah?
- 00:14:34,516 --> 00:14:36,252 How far have you got? What's your personal best?
- 00:14:36,385 --> 00:14:37,722 Oh, you can't be serious.
- 00:14:37,822 --> 00:14:39,057 I must find Stupendous.
- 00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:40,493 - Her army is-- - Stupendous is busy.
- 00:14:40,594 --> 00:14:43,165 - But the Kassites are-- - She's busy, I said.
- 00:14:44,702 --> 00:14:45,838 All right.
- 00:14:46,005 --> 00:14:47,407 This isn't actually my record,
- 00:14:47,508 --> 00:14:50,514 but Marathon to Athens feels like a good length for--Aah!
- 00:14:50,647 --> 00:14:52,952 I never think to zap people sooner.
- 00:14:53,052 --> 00:14:55,758 Look at him go. You do run fast!
- 00:14:55,891 --> 00:14:57,728 Thanks! It's really a lifestyle!
- 00:14:57,862 --> 00:14:58,930 Aah!
- 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:07,615 Not today! NOT today! Not to-DAYYY!
- 00:15:07,715 --> 00:15:09,652 No. Too weird. Stupendous,
- 00:15:09,752 --> 00:15:11,556 this is going to be huge.
- 00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:12,791 Tell her what you told me.
- 00:15:12,792 --> 00:15:14,794 I had a genius idea.
- 00:15:14,795 --> 00:15:16,298 They're desperate for a new hero,
- 00:15:16,398 --> 00:15:18,002 and I need to keep the show fresh,
- 00:15:18,102 --> 00:15:20,173 so it's time for me to go down,
- 00:15:20,273 --> 00:15:22,812 and I want you to be the one who beats me.
- 00:15:22,912 --> 00:15:24,982 - Hector promise Gargie. - Gargie, you're dying.
- 00:15:25,116 --> 00:15:26,986 - Gargie didn't know that. - Come on, man.
- 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,524 Look at yourself. You're full of arrows.
- 00:15:28,624 --> 00:15:32,229 Think about it, Stupe. The great Hector blindsided
- 00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:33,934 by the up-and-comer Stupendous!
- 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,537 The world gets a new hero,
- 00:15:35,671 --> 00:15:38,042 and then maybe down the line, we'll give me a redemption arc,
- 00:15:38,142 --> 00:15:40,080 or I come back as Dark Hector, my evil twin.
- 00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:41,750 Da da da. We'll figure it out.
- 00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,285 But when we get out there, beat me.
- 00:15:43,386 --> 00:15:44,822 I've been wanting to move into more
- 00:15:44,922 --> 00:15:46,325 of a producing role anyway.
- 00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:47,927 Uh, heh heh. Wait, Hector.
- 00:15:47,928 --> 00:15:49,331 Uh, we didn't talk about this.
- 00:15:49,498 --> 00:15:52,905 Apollo, baby, trust me. It'll be great!
- 00:15:53,005 --> 00:15:54,642 For her maybe. What about me?
- 00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:58,617 Suddenly, the great Apollo is sponsoring a loser?
- 00:15:58,717 --> 00:16:00,019 Suddenly, friggin' Deliria
- 00:16:00,119 --> 00:16:02,724 is the god of the greatest warrior in the world
- 00:16:02,725 --> 00:16:04,795 and getting my fatted lambs?!
- 00:16:04,895 --> 00:16:05,964 Works for us.
- 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,432 Well, it doesn't work for me!
- 00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,937 Oh, be a team player, Apollo!
- 00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:10,338 It's for the story, and, Stupe,
- 00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:11,977 please don't forget to pull your punches.
- 00:16:12,077 --> 00:16:14,081 I'm not the warrior I once was.
- 00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:15,316 Right. I'm just so used
- 00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:16,987 to punching my punches, you know?
- 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,057 Stupendous! Ugh. This guy.
- 00:16:19,157 --> 00:16:20,994 Your army has done everything they can without you,
- 00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:23,232 but the Kassites are too tough. The Kassites?
- 00:16:23,332 --> 00:16:24,969 Tell us more about what you think
- 00:16:25,069 --> 00:16:26,540 the best running distance is.
- 00:16:26,673 --> 00:16:28,810 It's Marathon to Athens, and it's catching on.
- 00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:31,114 No. What about the Kassites?
- 00:16:31,215 --> 00:16:32,383 They're invading,
- 00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:33,920 and your army is not doing great.
- 00:16:33,921 --> 00:16:35,591 They're trying to fight them without me?
- 00:16:35,691 --> 00:16:36,993 Why didn't they tell me earlier?
- 00:16:37,093 --> 00:16:38,730 They tried, but your mom stopped me
- 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:39,831 from giving you the message.
- 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,301 She did what?!
- 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:44,074 Stopped me from delivering the message.
- 00:16:44,207 --> 00:16:45,944 Uh, zap! Whoa. Wait a minute.
- 00:16:46,044 --> 00:16:47,915 This is going in a pretty good direction for me.
- 00:16:48,015 --> 00:16:49,484 What are you doing?
- 00:16:49,585 --> 00:16:51,021 My job.
- 00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:53,660 No, no, no. You cannot do this to me.
- 00:16:53,793 --> 00:16:56,097 I didn't have a daughter and name her Stupendous
- 00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:57,801 to not get credit.
- 00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,470 You can be replaced!
- 00:16:59,572 --> 00:17:00,641 Don't care.
- 00:17:00,741 --> 00:17:04,481 Oh, Gargie not looking so bad now, hey, Hector?
- 00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:08,923 Is there any way we can match up by weight?
- 00:17:09,024 --> 00:17:11,663 There's a fellow over there I might do much better against.
- 00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,032 You get who you get.
- 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:15,302 That's the rules of a full family fight.
- 00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,675 But my dad got matched up with your family monster,
- 00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:20,580 and it looks like my brother's fighting a baby?
- 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,552 That's just a coincidence. It's not by size.
- 00:17:23,553 --> 00:17:25,256 Your father could have just as easily got
- 00:17:25,356 --> 00:17:27,194 matched up with that baby.
- 00:17:27,294 --> 00:17:28,563 - Ohh! - You know what?
- 00:17:28,663 --> 00:17:30,600 I may have overestimated the Sicilian lifestyle.
- 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,640 I think our side of the family has some wonderful traits.
- 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:36,078 Like, for example, the one where we run away
- 00:17:36,178 --> 00:17:37,447 when things get rough.
- 00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:39,318 Agreed. Dad, want to fly us out of here?
- 00:17:39,418 --> 00:17:42,658 I cannot wait to stop caring about these people.
- 00:17:42,758 --> 00:17:45,095 Hey. You don't leave your family like this!
- 00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:47,099 This is, as it turns out, the exact amount
- 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,402 of family that I can handle.
- 00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:51,308 Gargie, Gargie, Gargie, Gargie...
- 00:17:51,408 --> 00:17:53,312 So you're sponsoring who now?
- 00:17:53,478 --> 00:17:55,049 - Gargie. - Hmm. That's a shame.
- 00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:56,853 He's got, like, what, two minutes left?
- 00:17:56,953 --> 00:17:58,255 Well, the crowd loves him,
- 00:17:58,388 --> 00:18:01,295 and by definition, that means they love me.
- 00:18:01,395 --> 00:18:03,298 People seem to want Gargie to win.
- 00:18:03,399 --> 00:18:04,868 You know they're cheering for you
- 00:18:04,969 --> 00:18:06,071 as a joke, right?
- 00:18:06,238 --> 00:18:07,740 Gargie feels pretty good.
- 00:18:07,741 --> 00:18:09,712 Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
- 00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:10,948 Ohh.
- 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,316 Of course you feel good.
- 00:18:12,416 --> 00:18:13,820 You don't feel anything.
- 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,388 Gargie doing Gargie best.
- 00:18:15,389 --> 00:18:17,628 Gargie giving all. Gargie good.
- 00:18:17,728 --> 00:18:19,966 Yeah, exactly. You're Gargie good.
- 00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:21,266 You're just not good good.
- 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:24,040 Gargie good good good for Gargie.
- 00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:26,278 I got into this game because Hector's hot
- 00:18:26,378 --> 00:18:27,682 and I have a thing for Troy.
- 00:18:27,782 --> 00:18:31,656 Remind me what your relationship is to that.
- 00:18:33,091 --> 00:18:34,994 My daughter had other priorities.
- 00:18:34,995 --> 00:18:37,099 Oh, that's a shame. She's a star.
- 00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:38,969 She really made you look good.
- 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,442 Gargie's internal organs are failing.
- 00:18:41,543 --> 00:18:44,047 Gargie's bleeding from all holes!
- 00:18:44,147 --> 00:18:46,418 But Gargie's still fine!
- 00:18:46,553 --> 00:18:48,890 Unh! Huh!
- 00:18:50,593 --> 00:18:51,461 Not now, Mom.
- 00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:53,298 Is there anything I can do to get you
- 00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,735 back to the arena?
- 00:18:54,869 --> 00:18:55,838 Huh! Unh!
- 00:18:55,971 --> 00:18:57,207 All these swords are fake!
- 00:18:57,307 --> 00:18:58,510 Well, do you expect?
- 00:18:58,610 --> 00:19:00,480 You grabbed them from the prop pile.
- 00:19:00,581 --> 00:19:02,217 I'm not going back there.
- 00:19:02,317 --> 00:19:05,022 Can't you see I have work to do?
- 00:19:05,156 --> 00:19:07,528 Damn prop! Look what you made me into.
- 00:19:07,695 --> 00:19:10,634 I'm a joke of a warrior. My makeup is running.
- 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,604 That should be blood!
- 00:19:12,738 --> 00:19:13,573 Aah!
- 00:19:13,706 --> 00:19:15,911 I was trying to help you.
- 00:19:16,044 --> 00:19:17,313 If you're trying to help me,
- 00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:19,083 why don't you help me here?
- 00:19:19,184 --> 00:19:21,689 You want glory? You want to sponsor me?
- 00:19:21,789 --> 00:19:22,924 - Aah! - Do it!
- 00:19:23,025 --> 00:19:24,895 Here where no one can see?
- 00:19:24,896 --> 00:19:25,964 Yes!
- 00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:27,634 Ugh.
- 00:19:31,876 --> 00:19:32,811 - Aah! - Ohh!
- 00:19:32,911 --> 00:19:34,214 - Unh! - Agh!
- 00:19:34,314 --> 00:19:36,118 Arrr! Aah!
- 00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,521 - Unh! - Aah!
- 00:19:37,621 --> 00:19:38,556 - Ugh! - Unh!
- 00:19:38,657 --> 00:19:40,159 Wait! What? What now?
- 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:42,362 Leave someone to tell the story.
- 00:19:42,363 --> 00:19:43,833 That seems braggy.
- 00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:46,171 Just one guy, like--
- 00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:47,774 ugh--him. Oh!
- 00:19:47,941 --> 00:19:49,277 Hey, you! Go tell everyone
- 00:19:49,377 --> 00:19:50,847 that Stupe beat these guys.
- 00:19:50,947 --> 00:19:53,919 No! Go back and tell them Deliria stepped in
- 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,093 and say Stupe was losing until she prayed to me.
- 00:19:57,193 --> 00:19:58,328 I didn't pray.
- 00:19:58,495 --> 00:19:59,932 I just made a reasonable request.
- 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,969 Fine. Just make sure you tell them that
- 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:07,313 my daughter Stupendous lived up to her name and always will.
- 00:20:07,413 --> 00:20:08,850 OK. I think I got it.
- 00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:10,185 Wow. Thanks, Mom.
- 00:20:10,352 --> 00:20:12,123 - Oh, don't go soft on me now. - I'm not.
- 00:20:12,256 --> 00:20:14,494 I just got glitter in my eye from that cannon.
- 00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:16,933 No, no. What are you doing?
- 00:20:17,066 --> 00:20:18,336 - No need for that. - Huh?
- 00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:20,339 What possible reason? Stand up.
- 00:20:20,439 --> 00:20:21,609 Well, I was gonna run to--
- 00:20:21,710 --> 00:20:25,216 No. Walk. Oh. You know what? No knees!
- 00:20:25,316 --> 00:20:27,420 Oh, man. Huh!
- 00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:28,956 Heh. Much better.
- 00:20:31,294 --> 00:20:32,429 I don't know what you're worried about.
- 00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:33,265 The show was a triumph.
- 00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:35,368 I'm not worried. I know it was good.
- 00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:37,740 I'm just telling you that I think it can be better.
- 00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:39,945 Um, sorry. Is this a knock on me?
- 00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:42,150 Because I can only work with what you're giving me.
- 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:43,720 I'm giving you gold out there!
- 00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:46,458 Ha ha! Well, let's not get carried away.
- 00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:47,627 You're a dick, you know that?
- 00:20:47,628 --> 00:20:49,397 Yeah, I have been told.
- 00:20:49,497 --> 00:20:51,503 Now, where's this incredible weapon supposed to be?
- 00:20:51,603 --> 00:20:53,606 Gargie said it would be here, but I'm not see--
- 00:20:53,706 --> 00:20:55,042 Wait, wait, wait a minute.
- 00:20:55,209 --> 00:20:56,377 Gargie? Gargie? Really?
- 00:20:56,478 --> 00:20:58,215 The giant you've been progressively
- 00:20:58,315 --> 00:20:59,885 killing and humiliating?
- 00:20:59,985 --> 00:21:01,420 Yeah. Why? Hector!
- 00:21:01,421 --> 00:21:03,826 Clean my stables and call me Augeas.
- 00:21:03,927 --> 00:21:05,463 I know that voice!
- 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,334 - Achilles! - I've got you now.
- 00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:10,640 Ruh-roh! Think fast, Hec.
- 00:21:10,741 --> 00:21:13,579 Damn you, Gargie!
- 00:21:31,114 --> 00:21:32,617 Dan Harmon: Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:34,989 --> 00:21:36,926 Bento.
- 00:00:03,073 --> 00:00:04,576 Shlub: And here you go,
- 00:00:04,710 --> 00:00:05,778 and this is for you,
- 00:00:05,878 --> 00:00:06,814 and you get a little.
- 00:00:06,914 --> 00:00:08,283 Ty: Dad, what are you doing?
- 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:11,456 Shlub: Every so often I have to go through and remusk
- 00:00:11,557 --> 00:00:12,491 all of my possessions.
- 00:00:12,626 --> 00:00:14,129 Otherwise, who would know they're mine?
- 00:00:14,229 --> 00:00:15,531 Oh, this is a family heirloom.
- 00:00:15,631 --> 00:00:17,400 Won't be losing this.
- 00:00:17,401 --> 00:00:18,237 [Sniffs]
- 00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:19,906 Don't touch that. It's mine.
- 00:00:20,007 --> 00:00:21,042 Yes, so I smelled.
- 00:00:21,142 --> 00:00:22,512 It's interesting. Looks foreign.
- 00:00:22,646 --> 00:00:25,918 It's actually from the Sicilian side of my family.
- 00:00:26,018 --> 00:00:27,990 - I have Sicilian relatives? - Yes.
- 00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:30,060 It's one of those big, warm, loving families.
- 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,064 - You know Sicilians. - I don't.
- 00:00:32,164 --> 00:00:33,767 Is that what they're like?
- 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:34,903 Who's this?
- 00:00:35,004 --> 00:00:36,406 Shlub: Well, there's your Aunt Rosa.
- 00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:37,876 Ty: And who is she smiling at? Shlub: Her son,
- 00:00:37,976 --> 00:00:39,279 which would be your cousin Sal.
- 00:00:39,379 --> 00:00:40,715 She looks like she loves him.
- 00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:42,952 Bet she never cuts him down with sarcastic asides.
- 00:00:43,052 --> 00:00:45,592 How wonderful that must be for them both.
- 00:00:45,692 --> 00:00:46,661 May I keep this?
- 00:00:46,761 --> 00:00:48,931 If you can overpower your old man's scent,
- 00:00:49,031 --> 00:00:50,635 then it's all yours.
- 00:00:50,735 --> 00:00:52,939 Messenger: King Ty, I've just run all day and night
- 00:00:53,072 --> 00:00:54,308 to bring you this news.
- 00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:55,845 Ty: Sounds like you ran all day and night
- 00:00:55,979 --> 00:00:57,247 to tell us you're into running.
- 00:00:57,248 --> 00:00:58,918 Stupe: That's just like runners, isn't it?
- 00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,287 Every chance they get to work it in.
- 00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:01,924 Forgive me. I shouldn't have bragged
- 00:01:02,024 --> 00:01:03,191 about the running part.
- 00:01:03,192 --> 00:01:04,730 Hss. It's just pretty extraordinary.
- 00:01:04,863 --> 00:01:07,100 The last guy who ran this far died immediately after
- 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,370 delivering his message.
- 00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:10,040 Well, I suppose you'd better spit it out
- 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,210 rather than foist your lifestyle choices on us.
- 00:01:12,311 --> 00:01:14,348 Messenger: Once again, I didn't come here to tell you I run,
- 00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:16,119 although there are some great trails around here,
- 00:01:16,219 --> 00:01:17,688 and it's true about the runner's high.
- 00:01:17,689 --> 00:01:19,626 Hippo: Spit it out! Messenger: An army approaches.
- 00:01:19,726 --> 00:01:21,062 Stupe: Is it the Kassites?
- 00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:24,001 Messenger: No. The great warrior Hector with his men.
- 00:01:24,101 --> 00:01:26,106 Stupe: Hector? Hector! Messenger: Yes.
- 00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:28,243 He says anyone who wants to see something spectacular
- 00:01:28,343 --> 00:01:29,813 should gather in the amphitheater.
- 00:01:29,913 --> 00:01:31,249 Shlub: We have an amphitheater?
- 00:01:31,349 --> 00:01:32,652 Deliria: Stupendous used to worship Hector.
- 00:01:32,752 --> 00:01:34,355 Stupe: Yeah. I don't know about worship.
- 00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:36,292 Deliria: You had a fresco of him in your bedroom.
- 00:01:36,392 --> 00:01:38,864 Stupe: I ate so much plaster making out with that thing.
- 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,299 It's one of the reasons I get turned on
- 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,770 when I smell someone getting a cast.
- 00:01:41,903 --> 00:01:43,942 Deliria: Well, I think we should go and see him.
- 00:01:44,042 --> 00:01:45,679 Runner person, when is the show?
- 00:01:45,779 --> 00:01:48,150 - He didn't say. - Well, could you find out?
- 00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:49,653 Messenger: Don't have to ask me twice.
- 00:01:49,786 --> 00:01:50,955 Anyone want to come with?
- 00:01:51,056 --> 00:01:52,826 Best way to start is to just dive in.
- 00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,796 Anyone? No? All right.
- 00:01:54,896 --> 00:01:56,199 Have fun with your heart disease.
- 00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:57,702 No offense. Wish you all the best.
- 00:01:57,835 --> 00:01:59,171 Just saying.
- 00:02:15,805 --> 00:02:16,940 Singers: ♪ Huh ♪
- 00:02:17,107 --> 00:02:20,513 ♪ Huh huh huh huh ♪
- 00:02:20,514 --> 00:02:22,685 ♪ Whoo ♪
- 00:02:24,956 --> 00:02:26,827 Deliria: Oh! There's Hector now.
- 00:02:26,927 --> 00:02:28,731 God, look at those muscles.
- 00:02:28,831 --> 00:02:31,336 He looks like a wineskin full of watermelons,
- 00:02:31,436 --> 00:02:33,006 and I do mean that in a good way.
- 00:02:33,106 --> 00:02:35,812 Stupe: What would the bad way be?
- 00:02:35,912 --> 00:02:38,817 Ha ha ha! Aah!
- 00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:39,786 [Ping]
- 00:02:39,886 --> 00:02:41,757 Ha ha! Hyah!
- 00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,594 [Cheering]
- 00:02:43,695 --> 00:02:45,865 Stupe: Hold on. That guy's not oozing
- 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,535 or spraying anything.
- 00:02:47,636 --> 00:02:48,605 Where's the blood
- 00:02:48,705 --> 00:02:50,340 and that mush that comes out of people's ears
- 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:51,910 when you hit them in the head too hard?
- 00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:53,648 Deliria: Well, he's not actually hurt.
- 00:02:53,748 --> 00:02:56,118 Stupe: Huh? Then why is everyone applauding?
- 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,156 Deliria: Stupendous, it's a performance.
- 00:02:58,289 --> 00:02:59,491 These men are heroes.
- 00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:01,530 They're much too famous for real war.
- 00:03:01,631 --> 00:03:04,335 Stupe: Real heroes fight in real wars.
- 00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,038 This is more like, uh--
- 00:03:06,138 --> 00:03:07,742 Deliria: A skillful, choreographed dance?
- 00:03:07,842 --> 00:03:10,046 Stupe: I was gonna say a big, stupid lie.
- 00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,583 It makes a mockery of battle.
- 00:03:11,683 --> 00:03:13,787 Deliria: Oh, this is better than battle, Stupendous.
- 00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:15,290 This is a show.
- 00:03:15,390 --> 00:03:17,026 Hector: Hyah! Men: Unh!
- 00:03:17,027 --> 00:03:18,898 Man: Confettied them right in the face!
- 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:20,733 [Cheering]
- 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:24,175 Stupe: This is what the great hero of old Troy does now,
- 00:03:24,275 --> 00:03:25,545 play fighting?!
- 00:03:25,645 --> 00:03:27,782 Deliria: And making a killing in mutton legs
- 00:03:27,882 --> 00:03:29,185 and novelty tourniquets.
- 00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:30,588 I wonder who represents him.
- 00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:32,290 Hector: Thanks, everybody. Thank you.
- 00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:34,562 I'd like to thank Apollo for his favor.
- 00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:36,666 If you liked today's show, please make
- 00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:39,437 a livestock sacrifice to the Sun God.
- 00:03:39,438 --> 00:03:41,610 Deliria: Of course, like that tow-headed fop
- 00:03:41,711 --> 00:03:44,215 isn't already drowning in fatted lambs.
- 00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:47,287 Apollo hogs all the best warriors and hogs.
- 00:03:47,387 --> 00:03:50,027 Stupe: These aren't warriors. Warriors war in wars,
- 00:03:50,127 --> 00:03:53,066 and they definitely don't curtsy after they get stabbed.
- 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,703 Deliria: Oh, come on, Stupendous.
- 00:03:54,803 --> 00:03:57,141 Isn't there a little part of you that would like to be up there?
- 00:03:57,241 --> 00:03:58,678 This is what you do.
- 00:03:58,811 --> 00:03:59,846 This is not what I do.
- 00:03:59,946 --> 00:04:02,117 I mean, do I ever throw in a little cartwheel
- 00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:03,753 when I'm kicking a guy's head off?
- 00:04:03,754 --> 00:04:06,726 Sure! I've got as much style as the next guy, but this--
- 00:04:06,827 --> 00:04:08,931 Hector: Eat my child and call me Zeus.
- 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,634 Is that the goddess Deliria?
- 00:04:10,635 --> 00:04:13,674 Deliria: Hector, you were magnificent!
- 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,445 Hector: Really? I feel like the short shadow of the sun show
- 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,951 is never as good as the long shadow show.
- 00:04:19,052 --> 00:04:20,419 Deliria: Oh, stop.
- 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:23,392 You know, my daughter is something of a hero, too.
- 00:04:23,492 --> 00:04:25,598 Hector: You don't say. You know, we're always looking
- 00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:27,869 for warriors with fancy feet and a winning smile.
- 00:04:27,969 --> 00:04:30,374 Thanks, but I do my winning on the battlefield.
- 00:04:30,474 --> 00:04:31,910 Hector: Ha ha ha! Suit yourself.
- 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,181 Del hon, let me know the next time you're coming.
- 00:04:34,281 --> 00:04:36,386 I'll get you comped. If you'll excuse me!
- 00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:39,091 Deliria: Look, Stupendous. Fans!
- 00:04:39,092 --> 00:04:40,360 Hector: OK, everybody.
- 00:04:40,494 --> 00:04:43,766 On 3, take a very vivid mental picture.
- 00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,937 Sorry. I blinked. One more--one more time,
- 00:04:45,938 --> 00:04:47,108 one more time.
- 00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:48,544 Hippo: Oh, Ty. There you are.
- 00:04:48,678 --> 00:04:51,248 Ty: Nunus tenti mim! Hippo: Is that Hittite?
- 00:04:51,382 --> 00:04:54,154 Ty: It's "Hello, brother" in Siculian, I think.
- 00:04:54,288 --> 00:04:56,292 That's one of the languages of Sicily.
- 00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:58,129 Now, I've made a us a real, traditional,
- 00:04:58,296 --> 00:04:59,497 authentic Sicilian meal,
- 00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:01,068 not the stuff you'd get in the colonies
- 00:05:01,202 --> 00:05:02,471 or some Phoenician trading post.
- 00:05:02,572 --> 00:05:04,743 I'm talking Sicani, Siculi, Elimi.
- 00:05:04,876 --> 00:05:07,180 - Excuse me? - He's obsessed with Sicily.
- 00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:08,416 Ty: Not obsessed.
- 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,953 Simply getting in touch with my roots.
- 00:05:10,053 --> 00:05:12,024 Bandfish with cheese? Pistachios, introduced
- 00:05:12,124 --> 00:05:13,260 to the island by Arabian traders,
- 00:05:13,393 --> 00:05:14,529 according to my research.
- 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:15,932 You cooked? I've got plenty of
- 00:05:16,032 --> 00:05:17,234 poison in my lab already.
- 00:05:17,334 --> 00:05:18,637 Ty: You know what? I looked at this vase
- 00:05:18,737 --> 00:05:20,908 and realized we don't have to be like this.
- 00:05:21,008 --> 00:05:22,311 We don't hug each other.
- 00:05:22,411 --> 00:05:23,980 We leave each other hanging, and we certainly don't
- 00:05:23,981 --> 00:05:25,450 dance shoulder to shoulder.
- 00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:27,589 Because we're smart and your shoulders are pointy.
- 00:05:27,722 --> 00:05:29,526 Dad, what can you tell me about my Aunt Rosa?
- 00:05:29,626 --> 00:05:31,997 Does she have a lilting voice? I bet she has a lilting voice.
- 00:05:32,130 --> 00:05:34,201 Shlub: Look. I've had very little contact with them.
- 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,372 They're just people who live somewhere else
- 00:05:36,472 --> 00:05:38,978 and happen to have someone in their family tree
- 00:05:39,078 --> 00:05:40,515 who slept with someone in mine.
- 00:05:40,615 --> 00:05:42,484 And from there, two families diverged.
- 00:05:42,585 --> 00:05:45,422 One grew cold and self-centered as the other tended
- 00:05:45,423 --> 00:05:47,562 the fields under the blue Sicilian sky,
- 00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:50,234 singing and laughing together, growing pistachios,
- 00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:52,438 commonly referred to as the warmest of nuts.
- 00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:53,974 Shlub: I can think of two warmer.
- 00:05:54,074 --> 00:05:56,514 - Dad, could you fly me there? - I don't know, son.
- 00:05:56,614 --> 00:05:59,786 In my experience, family can be a real mixed bag.
- 00:05:59,886 --> 00:06:02,457 Hippo: Yeah. I'd hate to see you go there and be disappointed.
- 00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:04,762 What am I saying? I would love to see that.
- 00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:07,668 Shlub: Same here. Plus, we're out of pistachios.
- 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,606 Scott: So how was the show?
- 00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:11,844 Is he as good as they say in all the odes?
- 00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:14,749 Deliria: Better. Live battle is such a thrill.
- 00:06:14,849 --> 00:06:17,254 Stupe: This is crazy. I got way more battle skills
- 00:06:17,354 --> 00:06:18,556 than any of those guys.
- 00:06:18,557 --> 00:06:20,026 Well, of course you do, darling.
- 00:06:20,126 --> 00:06:22,364 Stupe: So how come Scott's never breathlessly referred
- 00:06:22,464 --> 00:06:24,535 to my work as "a revelation"?
- 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,907 Deliria: The only reason everybody doesn't know that
- 00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:29,311 is because you always kill or cut out the tongue
- 00:06:29,411 --> 00:06:31,583 of anyone who could pass on that information.
- 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:34,856 You have to leave someone alive with a tongue
- 00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:36,224 to tell the story.
- 00:06:36,225 --> 00:06:38,430 Leave someone alive with a tongue?
- 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:41,368 Why don't I just braid them a friendship bracelet?
- 00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:43,105 It just sucks to do all the work and get
- 00:06:43,106 --> 00:06:44,375 none of the recognition.
- 00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:47,549 Ugh. Stupendous, the heroes who get odes and fans
- 00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:50,019 are just the ones who know how to self-promote.
- 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,222 Stupe: Isn't that kind of gross?
- 00:06:51,322 --> 00:06:52,893 Deliria: Gross and necessary.
- 00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:54,695 If you want people to recognize your talent,
- 00:06:54,696 --> 00:06:57,668 I could be your sponsor, like Hector has Apollo.
- 00:06:57,669 --> 00:06:59,839 It would be a way for us to spend some
- 00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:00,975 more time together.
- 00:07:01,108 --> 00:07:02,778 Stupe: Well, that would be nice, I guess.
- 00:07:02,878 --> 00:07:05,717 Deliria: There we go, and of course, as your mother,
- 00:07:05,818 --> 00:07:09,492 I would waive the traditional 15% of all burnt offerings.
- 00:07:09,593 --> 00:07:13,433 How does 10 sound? 8, but that's as low as I go.
- 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,203 - 9. - OK, maybe,
- 00:07:15,303 --> 00:07:16,506 but I'm not wearing makeup!
- 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,942 Deliria: You will wear stage makeup,
- 00:07:18,042 --> 00:07:20,012 or I shall smite everyone in this town.
- 00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:22,518 Stupe: Fine, but no blush. It washes me out.
- 00:07:22,685 --> 00:07:24,421 Scott: Wow! So she's gonna do it, huh?
- 00:07:24,522 --> 00:07:25,991 This is very exciting!
- 00:07:26,091 --> 00:07:28,263 Deliria: Who is this? Are you part of this somehow?
- 00:07:28,396 --> 00:07:29,699 Am I supposed to know who you are?
- 00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,271 Scott: I thought so, but I guess it's good
- 00:07:32,438 --> 00:07:33,774 to know if not.
- 00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:39,820 [Grunting]
- 00:07:39,953 --> 00:07:41,990 Mm-wha. There. Now you're ready to knock them dead.
- 00:07:42,124 --> 00:07:44,328 Isn't that specifically what I'm not doing?
- 00:07:44,462 --> 00:07:46,600 What you're doing is becoming a legend
- 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:50,306 sponsored by the goddess of winning--Deliria.
- 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:51,676 [Hector grunting]
- 00:07:51,776 --> 00:07:53,313 Hyah!
- 00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:54,516 [Grunting]
- 00:07:54,616 --> 00:07:56,185 Stupe: Whoa. Woman: What are you doing?
- 00:07:56,285 --> 00:07:57,454 Hector: Gargie doesn't feel pain.
- 00:07:57,555 --> 00:07:59,091 Gargie: Oh, Gargie can't feel pain,
- 00:07:59,191 --> 00:08:00,762 but can Gargie die of burns?
- 00:08:00,862 --> 00:08:03,634 Hector: Uh, I don't think so. Now go put yourself out.
- 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:06,004 We need to burn something during the show.
- 00:08:06,906 --> 00:08:10,915 Ha! Who is this tall drink of razzmatazz?
- 00:08:11,015 --> 00:08:12,952 Showbiz looks good on you, Stupendous.
- 00:08:13,053 --> 00:08:15,023 Deliria: Thank you. I did the makeup.
- 00:08:15,123 --> 00:08:17,461 I'm getting rather good at lightning bolts.
- 00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:19,298 Stupe: I'm a big fan of your earlier stuff.
- 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,634 Hector: Oh, the Trojan War? Ha!
- 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,137 Yeah, yeah, yeah, people love that one,
- 00:08:22,237 --> 00:08:25,343 but it's the stuff I do now that really gets
- 00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:26,713 the blind men talking.
- 00:08:26,846 --> 00:08:29,352 - Are you wearing fake hair? - Oh, it's not fake hair.
- 00:08:29,452 --> 00:08:30,587 It's show hair, and it's real.
- 00:08:30,721 --> 00:08:31,890 It's just not mine.
- 00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:33,594 So you want to be a part of the show?
- 00:08:33,727 --> 00:08:34,996 - What can you do? - Oh, I don't know.
- 00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:36,600 Kill with my sword. Kill with my ax.
- 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,503 Kill with pulling guys apart with my hands.
- 00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:39,906 Kill with stomping my feet.
- 00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:41,441 Kill with crushing guys between my thighs.
- 00:08:41,543 --> 00:08:43,045 Kill with throwing guys off of cliffs.
- 00:08:43,145 --> 00:08:44,916 Kill with throwing guys off of high walls. Um...
- 00:08:45,016 --> 00:08:46,485 Deliria: That's why you've never heard of her.
- 00:08:46,653 --> 00:08:48,456 Everyone she encounters dies.
- 00:08:48,557 --> 00:08:50,227 What's that little battle cry you have that
- 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,596 always makes me chuckle?
- 00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:54,801 - Not today! - Oh, she's good, isn't she?
- 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:57,007 Thanks, Mom. Hector: OK, Stupendous.
- 00:08:57,107 --> 00:08:59,846 Show me what that big, beautiful arm can do.
- 00:08:59,946 --> 00:09:02,651 Knock his beard off! I know you can do it.
- 00:09:02,652 --> 00:09:06,291 You're my daughter, and you're Stupendous.
- 00:09:08,262 --> 00:09:11,569 [Both grunting]
- 00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:14,007 Oh, check it out.
- 00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:21,122 Hector: Ha ha! That's what I'm talking about.
- 00:09:21,222 --> 00:09:22,124 [Cheering]
- 00:09:22,224 --> 00:09:25,296 Deliria, where did you find this star?
- 00:09:25,297 --> 00:09:27,902 Deliria: In my uterus!
- 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,239 Shlub: Now, Ty, there's a very real chance
- 00:09:30,373 --> 00:09:31,810 they hate me for some reason.
- 00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:34,549 That's not based on anything I know about them.
- 00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:36,352 It's just an observable pattern.
- 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:40,327 Ty: I doubt our Sicilian... tigge, uh, would hate you.
- 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:42,464 That's Elymian for "family," I think.
- 00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:44,569 Might actually be Siculian.
- 00:09:44,703 --> 00:09:45,671 Man: Who's there?
- 00:09:45,805 --> 00:09:47,408 Ty: Uh, hello. Nunu-- Man: Huh?
- 00:09:47,509 --> 00:09:49,612 Uh, my, uh, name is Tyrannis,
- 00:09:49,613 --> 00:09:52,184 and I believe we are distant relatives.
- 00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:55,290 Woman: Sal, who's at the door? Sal: His name's Tyrannis.
- 00:09:55,390 --> 00:09:56,727 He says he's a distant relative.
- 00:09:56,827 --> 00:09:58,495 - A relative? - Yeah, distant.
- 00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:01,401 Man: We got family at the door? Woman: That's what Sal says.
- 00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:02,671 Sal: Yeah. Distant relatives.
- 00:10:02,805 --> 00:10:04,341 Man: Distant means nothing to me.
- 00:10:04,442 --> 00:10:06,278 Hey, everybody. There's family here.
- 00:10:06,378 --> 00:10:08,216 [Laughter]
- 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:10,655 I'm your Auntie Rosa. This is your Uncle Vince.
- 00:10:10,755 --> 00:10:13,059 These are your cousins Antonia, Angelo, Maria,
- 00:10:13,159 --> 00:10:16,667 Checca, Antonelo, Carmala, Carmalo, Sal, Nunzio,
- 00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:18,236 and there's a bunch more in the kitchen.
- 00:10:18,336 --> 00:10:19,606 Are you hungry?
- 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:20,974 Vince: Of course he's hungry. Look at him.
- 00:10:21,108 --> 00:10:22,645 Rosa: Hey. Vince: You like pistachios?
- 00:10:22,745 --> 00:10:24,583 We grow them on our farm. Out of this world.
- 00:10:24,683 --> 00:10:25,851 What do you do for a living, Ty?
- 00:10:25,951 --> 00:10:27,287 Ty: Well, I'm the king of Krapop--
- 00:10:27,387 --> 00:10:29,291 Vince: A king? Everybody, cousin Ty's a king!
- 00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:30,626 - Ohh! - Ohh!
- 00:10:30,627 --> 00:10:32,497 Sal, get some pistachios for your king cousin!
- 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,134 Hippo: I got to hand it to you, Ty.
- 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,571 Your family is awesome.
- 00:10:35,671 --> 00:10:36,973 Sal: His family? Ohh!
- 00:10:37,073 --> 00:10:39,344 You're in this great big meatball, too, Pesce.
- 00:10:39,444 --> 00:10:40,714 [Cheering]
- 00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:42,251 Vince: You have to stay for dinner.
- 00:10:42,384 --> 00:10:44,154 Ty: This isn't dinner? Vince: No. We eat constantly.
- 00:10:44,254 --> 00:10:45,991 Ty: And after dinner, will there be dancing?
- 00:10:46,091 --> 00:10:47,661 Vince: Will there be dancing? Are you out of your mind?
- 00:10:47,795 --> 00:10:49,196 Of course there'll be dancing.
- 00:10:49,197 --> 00:10:50,601 [Cheering]
- 00:10:50,768 --> 00:10:52,572 [Cheering and applause]
- 00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:55,142 Ladies and gentlemen, people and horse people,
- 00:10:55,143 --> 00:10:56,245 are you ready?
- 00:10:56,345 --> 00:10:57,782 No. I can't hear you.
- 00:10:57,882 --> 00:11:03,660 I said are you ready for the showdowwwwnnn?
- 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,765 Deliria: Now don't be nervous. You've got this.
- 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,870 Stupe: Why would I be nervous? I've killed actual armies.
- 00:11:08,971 --> 00:11:11,108 This is nothing. Wait. Are you nervous?
- 00:11:11,209 --> 00:11:15,450 No. Just do everything exactly the way we rehearsed and smile.
- 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:16,686 People love a happy warrior.
- 00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:17,988 Stupe: OK.
- 00:11:18,089 --> 00:11:20,627 Hector: Hailing from the Polis of Krap,
- 00:11:20,727 --> 00:11:22,297 it's the Mountain of the Mediterranean,
- 00:11:22,397 --> 00:11:24,267 the one-eyed wonder herself,
- 00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:29,178 the sexy, super Stupendous!
- 00:11:29,311 --> 00:11:33,620 And from the dungeon under that spooky castle in Thebes,
- 00:11:33,753 --> 00:11:35,691 you know him, you fear him.
- 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:38,262 I just think he's kind of cute.
- 00:11:38,362 --> 00:11:40,901 Dragonnnnn!
- 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,106 [Dragon shrieks and growls]
- 00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:45,511 Warriors, ready?
- 00:11:45,611 --> 00:11:46,980 Battle!
- 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,752 [Growling]
- 00:11:54,294 --> 00:11:56,599 Stupe: Aah!
- 00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:58,269 Hyah!
- 00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,605 [Grunting]
- 00:11:59,705 --> 00:12:01,643 Deliria: Hoo! Aah! Ooh!
- 00:12:01,743 --> 00:12:04,147 [Stupe grunting, dragon roaring]
- 00:12:05,518 --> 00:12:07,287 Stupe: Huh! Ah! Unh!
- 00:12:07,387 --> 00:12:08,422 [Cheering]
- 00:12:08,557 --> 00:12:09,892 Deliria: Stay down! Stupe: What?
- 00:12:09,992 --> 00:12:11,663 He has to do his catchphrase first.
- 00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,801 Know why they call me dragon?
- 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:18,076 'Cause I'm draggin' this tail across your face!
- 00:12:18,176 --> 00:12:20,046 Stupe: Unh! Agh!
- 00:12:20,146 --> 00:12:21,849 Now you!
- 00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:23,419 Stupe: Not today!
- 00:12:23,553 --> 00:12:25,056 Dragon: Aah!
- 00:12:25,156 --> 00:12:26,526 Ohh!
- 00:12:26,626 --> 00:12:29,732 [Stupe panting]
- 00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:32,370 [Cheering and applause]
- 00:12:35,176 --> 00:12:38,951 Deliria: Ladies and gentlemen, the great Stupendous,
- 00:12:39,084 --> 00:12:42,992 daughter of me, destroyer of this dragon.
- 00:12:43,092 --> 00:12:46,098 Are you getting all this, blind men in the press box?
- 00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:49,438 Bland man: Can someone describe him to us?
- 00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:51,074 [Cheering]
- 00:12:51,075 --> 00:12:52,845 Hippo: I can't believe Ty was right.
- 00:12:52,945 --> 00:12:54,181 This family seems awesome.
- 00:12:54,281 --> 00:12:55,884 Shlub: You know what they remind me of?
- 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,120 Strangers at the bar.
- 00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:58,757 Hippo: You know, that's exactly right.
- 00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,226 It's like a family that acts like drunk people
- 00:13:00,326 --> 00:13:02,464 you don't know that make you feel more like family
- 00:13:02,599 --> 00:13:03,734 than family does.
- 00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,336 Ty: See? This is how it should be.
- 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,140 Shoulder to shoulder. Just how I dreamt it.
- 00:13:07,307 --> 00:13:09,444 They enjoy each other, look after each other.
- 00:13:09,545 --> 00:13:10,814 I've not seen one eyeroll.
- 00:13:10,914 --> 00:13:12,585 Do you know how hard it is to go through a day
- 00:13:12,685 --> 00:13:13,887 in our house without being eyerolled
- 00:13:13,987 --> 00:13:15,189 or eyerolling someone else?
- 00:13:15,289 --> 00:13:16,727 Hippo: I do it constantly at home,
- 00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:18,162 but here, I wouldn't think of it.
- 00:13:18,262 --> 00:13:19,698 I don't even feel dumb dancing.
- 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,335 Shlub: I'm feeling so at ease here,
- 00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:24,441 I've not once had the urge to change the topic to sex.
- 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:28,048 Wait. Do I change the topic to sex to avoid discomfort?
- 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,387 Let's everyone have sex with everyone else.
- 00:13:30,487 --> 00:13:31,455 [Knock on door]
- 00:13:31,556 --> 00:13:33,058 Vince: Who's that? More family?
- 00:13:33,158 --> 00:13:36,198 Sal: No, it's our cousins, the Bonaseras.
- 00:13:36,298 --> 00:13:38,871 Ty: Even more family. What an embarrassment of riches.
- 00:13:38,971 --> 00:13:40,707 Vince: We hate them. Ty: Why do we hate them?
- 00:13:40,807 --> 00:13:42,612 Vince: They disrespected us.
- 00:13:42,712 --> 00:13:43,913 Ty: Who would do such a thing?
- 00:13:43,914 --> 00:13:45,517 Bonasera: Because you stole our farm!
- 00:13:45,651 --> 00:13:46,686 Ty: Is that true?
- 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:48,022 Vince: Of course we stole their farm
- 00:13:48,122 --> 00:13:49,559 because they disrespected us.
- 00:13:49,659 --> 00:13:51,529 Bonasera: We didn't start disrespecting you until after.
- 00:13:51,629 --> 00:13:52,931 Vince: There were inklings.
- 00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:55,437 Ty: We stole their farm on a hunch of disrespect?
- 00:13:55,538 --> 00:13:57,641 Vince: We stole it on inklings.
- 00:13:57,642 --> 00:13:58,810 Full family fight!
- 00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:00,112 Families: Full family fight!
- 00:14:00,213 --> 00:14:02,886 Full family fight! Full family fight!
- 00:14:03,019 --> 00:14:05,289 - Fists? - Sure. Knives?
- 00:14:05,423 --> 00:14:06,692 You betcha. Bats?
- 00:14:06,793 --> 00:14:07,929 Ty: Pillows maybe.
- 00:14:08,029 --> 00:14:09,331 Vince: Filled with rocks. Yes.
- 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:12,404 One of our two whole families is dying tonight!
- 00:14:12,538 --> 00:14:13,973 [Cheering]
- 00:14:14,976 --> 00:14:18,081 Deliria: Apollo, I didn't know you'd be here.
- 00:14:18,082 --> 00:14:20,487 Apollo: Yeah, I had to welcome you to the big leagues.
- 00:14:20,588 --> 00:14:21,790 Please make a plate.
- 00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:23,126 I always make sure Hector has
- 00:14:23,226 --> 00:14:24,863 the best snacks for his strength.
- 00:14:24,963 --> 00:14:26,298 Messenger: Goddess Deliria! Deliria: Oh. It's you.
- 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,902 - I've run all day and night. - There we go.
- 00:14:28,903 --> 00:14:30,439 The Kassites are invading.
- 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,711 Deliria: This one likes to talk about how far he's run.
- 00:14:32,811 --> 00:14:34,381 Can't get enough of it. Apollo: Oh, yeah?
- 00:14:34,516 --> 00:14:36,252 How far have you got? What's your personal best?
- 00:14:36,385 --> 00:14:37,722 Deliria: Oh, you can't be serious.
- 00:14:37,822 --> 00:14:39,057 Messenger: I must find Stupendous.
- 00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:40,493 - Her army is-- - Stupendous is busy.
- 00:14:40,594 --> 00:14:43,165 - But the Kassites are-- - She's busy, I said.
- 00:14:44,702 --> 00:14:45,838 Messenger: All right.
- 00:14:46,005 --> 00:14:47,407 This isn't actually my record,
- 00:14:47,508 --> 00:14:50,514 but Marathon to Athens feels like a good length for--Aah!
- 00:14:50,647 --> 00:14:52,952 Deliria: I never think to zap people sooner.
- 00:14:53,052 --> 00:14:55,758 Apollo: Look at him go. You do run fast!
- 00:14:55,891 --> 00:14:57,728 Messenger: Thanks! It's really a lifestyle!
- 00:14:57,862 --> 00:14:58,930 Aah!
- 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:07,615 Not today! NOT today! Not to-DAYYY!
- 00:15:07,715 --> 00:15:09,652 No. Too weird. Deliria: Stupendous,
- 00:15:09,752 --> 00:15:11,556 this is going to be huge.
- 00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:12,791 Tell her what you told me.
- 00:15:12,792 --> 00:15:14,794 Hector: I had a genius idea.
- 00:15:14,795 --> 00:15:16,298 They're desperate for a new hero,
- 00:15:16,398 --> 00:15:18,002 and I need to keep the show fresh,
- 00:15:18,102 --> 00:15:20,173 so it's time for me to go down,
- 00:15:20,273 --> 00:15:22,812 and I want you to be the one who beats me.
- 00:15:22,912 --> 00:15:24,982 - Hector promise Gargie. - Gargie, you're dying.
- 00:15:25,116 --> 00:15:26,986 - Gargie didn't know that. - Come on, man.
- 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,524 Look at yourself. You're full of arrows.
- 00:15:28,624 --> 00:15:32,229 Think about it, Stupe. The great Hector blindsided
- 00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:33,934 by the up-and-comer Stupendous!
- 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,537 The world gets a new hero,
- 00:15:35,671 --> 00:15:38,042 and then maybe down the line, we'll give me a redemption arc,
- 00:15:38,142 --> 00:15:40,080 or I come back as Dark Hector, my evil twin.
- 00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:41,750 Da da da. We'll figure it out.
- 00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,285 But when we get out there, beat me.
- 00:15:43,386 --> 00:15:44,822 I've been wanting to move into more
- 00:15:44,922 --> 00:15:46,325 of a producing role anyway.
- 00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:47,927 Apollo: Uh, heh heh. Wait, Hector.
- 00:15:47,928 --> 00:15:49,331 Uh, we didn't talk about this.
- 00:15:49,498 --> 00:15:52,905 Hector: Apollo, baby, trust me. It'll be great!
- 00:15:53,005 --> 00:15:54,642 For her maybe. What about me?
- 00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:58,617 Suddenly, the great Apollo is sponsoring a loser?
- 00:15:58,717 --> 00:16:00,019 Suddenly, friggin' Deliria
- 00:16:00,119 --> 00:16:02,724 is the god of the greatest warrior in the world
- 00:16:02,725 --> 00:16:04,795 and getting my fatted lambs?!
- 00:16:04,895 --> 00:16:05,964 Deliria: Works for us.
- 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,432 Apollo: Well, it doesn't work for me!
- 00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,937 Deliria: Oh, be a team player, Apollo!
- 00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:10,338 It's for the story, and, Stupe,
- 00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:11,977 please don't forget to pull your punches.
- 00:16:12,077 --> 00:16:14,081 I'm not the warrior I once was.
- 00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:15,316 Stupe: Right. I'm just so used
- 00:16:15,416 --> 00:16:16,987 to punching my punches, you know?
- 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,057 Messenger: Stupendous! Stupe: Ugh. This guy.
- 00:16:19,157 --> 00:16:20,994 Your army has done everything they can without you,
- 00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:23,232 but the Kassites are too tough. Stupe: The Kassites?
- 00:16:23,332 --> 00:16:24,969 Deliria: Tell us more about what you think
- 00:16:25,069 --> 00:16:26,540 the best running distance is.
- 00:16:26,673 --> 00:16:28,810 It's Marathon to Athens, and it's catching on.
- 00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:31,114 Stupe: No. What about the Kassites?
- 00:16:31,215 --> 00:16:32,383 They're invading,
- 00:16:32,483 --> 00:16:33,920 and your army is not doing great.
- 00:16:33,921 --> 00:16:35,591 They're trying to fight them without me?
- 00:16:35,691 --> 00:16:36,993 Why didn't they tell me earlier?
- 00:16:37,093 --> 00:16:38,730 They tried, but your mom stopped me
- 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:39,831 from giving you the message.
- 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,301 She did what?!
- 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:44,074 Messenger: Stopped me from delivering the message.
- 00:16:44,207 --> 00:16:45,944 Deliria: Uh, zap! Apollo: Whoa. Wait a minute.
- 00:16:46,044 --> 00:16:47,915 This is going in a pretty good direction for me.
- 00:16:48,015 --> 00:16:49,484 Deliria: What are you doing?
- 00:16:49,585 --> 00:16:51,021 Stupe: My job.
- 00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:53,660 Deliria: No, no, no. You cannot do this to me.
- 00:16:53,793 --> 00:16:56,097 I didn't have a daughter and name her Stupendous
- 00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:57,801 to not get credit.
- 00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,470 You can be replaced!
- 00:16:59,572 --> 00:17:00,641 Stupe: Don't care.
- 00:17:00,741 --> 00:17:04,481 Oh, Gargie not looking so bad now, hey, Hector?
- 00:17:04,582 --> 00:17:07,153 [Shouting and grunting]
- 00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:08,923 Ty: Is there any way we can match up by weight?
- 00:17:09,024 --> 00:17:11,663 There's a fellow over there I might do much better against.
- 00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,032 Man: You get who you get.
- 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:15,302 That's the rules of a full family fight.
- 00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,675 Ty: But my dad got matched up with your family monster,
- 00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:20,580 and it looks like my brother's fighting a baby?
- 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,552 Man: That's just a coincidence. It's not by size.
- 00:17:23,553 --> 00:17:25,256 Your father could have just as easily got
- 00:17:25,356 --> 00:17:27,194 matched up with that baby.
- 00:17:27,294 --> 00:17:28,563 - Ohh! - You know what?
- 00:17:28,663 --> 00:17:30,600 I may have overestimated the Sicilian lifestyle.
- 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,640 I think our side of the family has some wonderful traits.
- 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:36,078 Like, for example, the one where we run away
- 00:17:36,178 --> 00:17:37,447 when things get rough.
- 00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:39,318 Hippo: Agreed. Dad, want to fly us out of here?
- 00:17:39,418 --> 00:17:42,658 Shlub: I cannot wait to stop caring about these people.
- 00:17:42,758 --> 00:17:45,095 Vince: Hey. You don't leave your family like this!
- 00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:47,099 Ty: This is, as it turns out, the exact amount
- 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,402 of family that I can handle.
- 00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:51,308 Crowd: Gargie, Gargie, Gargie, Gargie...
- 00:17:51,408 --> 00:17:53,312 So you're sponsoring who now?
- 00:17:53,478 --> 00:17:55,049 - Gargie. - Hmm. That's a shame.
- 00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:56,853 He's got, like, what, two minutes left?
- 00:17:56,953 --> 00:17:58,255 Deliria: Well, the crowd loves him,
- 00:17:58,388 --> 00:18:01,295 and by definition, that means they love me.
- 00:18:01,395 --> 00:18:03,298 Gargie: People seem to want Gargie to win.
- 00:18:03,399 --> 00:18:04,868 Hector: You know they're cheering for you
- 00:18:04,969 --> 00:18:06,071 as a joke, right?
- 00:18:06,238 --> 00:18:07,740 Gargie: Gargie feels pretty good.
- 00:18:07,741 --> 00:18:09,712 Hector: Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
- 00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:10,948 Gargie: Ohh.
- 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,316 Hector: Of course you feel good.
- 00:18:12,416 --> 00:18:13,820 You don't feel anything.
- 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,388 Gargie doing Gargie best.
- 00:18:15,389 --> 00:18:17,628 Gargie giving all. Gargie good.
- 00:18:17,728 --> 00:18:19,966 Hector: Yeah, exactly. You're Gargie good.
- 00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:21,266 You're just not good good.
- 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:24,040 Gargie good good good for Gargie.
- 00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:26,278 I got into this game because Hector's hot
- 00:18:26,378 --> 00:18:27,682 and I have a thing for Troy.
- 00:18:27,782 --> 00:18:31,656 Remind me what your relationship is to that.
- 00:18:31,790 --> 00:18:32,991 [Gargie groans]
- 00:18:33,091 --> 00:18:34,994 My daughter had other priorities.
- 00:18:34,995 --> 00:18:37,099 Oh, that's a shame. She's a star.
- 00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:38,969 She really made you look good.
- 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,442 Gargie's internal organs are failing.
- 00:18:41,543 --> 00:18:44,047 Gargie's bleeding from all holes!
- 00:18:44,147 --> 00:18:46,418 But Gargie's still fine!
- 00:18:46,553 --> 00:18:48,890 Stupe: Unh! Kassite: Huh!
- 00:18:50,593 --> 00:18:51,461 Not now, Mom.
- 00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:53,298 Is there anything I can do to get you
- 00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,735 back to the arena?
- 00:18:54,869 --> 00:18:55,838 Stupe: Huh! Unh!
- 00:18:55,971 --> 00:18:57,207 All these swords are fake!
- 00:18:57,307 --> 00:18:58,510 Deliria: Well, do you expect?
- 00:18:58,610 --> 00:19:00,480 You grabbed them from the prop pile.
- 00:19:00,581 --> 00:19:02,217 Stupe: I'm not going back there.
- 00:19:02,317 --> 00:19:05,022 Can't you see I have work to do?
- 00:19:05,156 --> 00:19:07,528 Damn prop! Look what you made me into.
- 00:19:07,695 --> 00:19:10,634 I'm a joke of a warrior. My makeup is running.
- 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:12,604 That should be blood!
- 00:19:12,738 --> 00:19:13,573 Aah!
- 00:19:13,706 --> 00:19:15,911 Deliria: I was trying to help you.
- 00:19:16,044 --> 00:19:17,313 Stupe: If you're trying to help me,
- 00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:19,083 why don't you help me here?
- 00:19:19,184 --> 00:19:21,689 You want glory? You want to sponsor me?
- 00:19:21,789 --> 00:19:22,924 - Aah! - Do it!
- 00:19:23,025 --> 00:19:24,895 Deliria: Here where no one can see?
- 00:19:24,896 --> 00:19:25,964 Stupe: Yes!
- 00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:27,634 Ugh.
- 00:19:31,876 --> 00:19:32,811 - Aah! - Ohh!
- 00:19:32,911 --> 00:19:34,214 - Unh! - Agh!
- 00:19:34,314 --> 00:19:36,118 Stupe: Arrr! Kassite: Aah!
- 00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,521 - Unh! - Aah!
- 00:19:37,621 --> 00:19:38,556 - Ugh! - Unh!
- 00:19:38,657 --> 00:19:40,159 Deliria: Wait! Stupe: What? What now?
- 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:42,362 Deliria: Leave someone to tell the story.
- 00:19:42,363 --> 00:19:43,833 Stupe: That seems braggy.
- 00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:46,171 Deliria: Just one guy, like--
- 00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:47,774 ugh--him. Messenger: Oh!
- 00:19:47,941 --> 00:19:49,277 Stupe: Hey, you! Go tell everyone
- 00:19:49,377 --> 00:19:50,847 that Stupe beat these guys.
- 00:19:50,947 --> 00:19:53,919 Deliria: No! Go back and tell them Deliria stepped in
- 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,093 and say Stupe was losing until she prayed to me.
- 00:19:57,193 --> 00:19:58,328 Stupe: I didn't pray.
- 00:19:58,495 --> 00:19:59,932 I just made a reasonable request.
- 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,969 Deliria: Fine. Just make sure you tell them that
- 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:07,313 my daughter Stupendous lived up to her name and always will.
- 00:20:07,413 --> 00:20:08,850 OK. I think I got it.
- 00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:10,185 Stupe: Wow. Thanks, Mom.
- 00:20:10,352 --> 00:20:12,123 - Oh, don't go soft on me now. - I'm not.
- 00:20:12,256 --> 00:20:14,494 I just got glitter in my eye from that cannon.
- 00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:16,933 Deliria: No, no. What are you doing?
- 00:20:17,066 --> 00:20:18,336 - No need for that. - Huh?
- 00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:20,339 What possible reason? Stand up.
- 00:20:20,439 --> 00:20:21,609 Well, I was gonna run to--
- 00:20:21,710 --> 00:20:25,216 No. Walk. Oh. You know what? No knees!
- 00:20:25,316 --> 00:20:27,420 Messenger: Oh, man. Huh!
- 00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:28,956 Deliria: Heh. Much better.
- 00:20:31,294 --> 00:20:32,429 Apollo: I don't know what you're worried about.
- 00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:33,265 The show was a triumph.
- 00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:35,368 Hector: I'm not worried. I know it was good.
- 00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:37,740 I'm just telling you that I think it can be better.
- 00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:39,945 Um, sorry. Is this a knock on me?
- 00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:42,150 Because I can only work with what you're giving me.
- 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:43,720 I'm giving you gold out there!
- 00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:46,458 Ha ha! Well, let's not get carried away.
- 00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:47,627 You're a dick, you know that?
- 00:20:47,628 --> 00:20:49,397 Apollo: Yeah, I have been told.
- 00:20:49,497 --> 00:20:51,503 Now, where's this incredible weapon supposed to be?
- 00:20:51,603 --> 00:20:53,606 Gargie said it would be here, but I'm not see--
- 00:20:53,706 --> 00:20:55,042 Apollo: Wait, wait, wait a minute.
- 00:20:55,209 --> 00:20:56,377 Gargie? Gargie? Really?
- 00:20:56,478 --> 00:20:58,215 The giant you've been progressively
- 00:20:58,315 --> 00:20:59,885 killing and humiliating?
- 00:20:59,985 --> 00:21:01,420 Yeah. Why? Man: Hector!
- 00:21:01,421 --> 00:21:03,826 Clean my stables and call me Augeas.
- 00:21:03,927 --> 00:21:05,463 I know that voice!
- 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,334 - Achilles! - I've got you now.
- 00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:10,640 Apollo: Ruh-roh! Think fast, Hec.
- 00:21:10,741 --> 00:21:13,579 Damn you, Gargie!
- 00:21:13,713 --> 00:21:16,451 [Organ playing comical music]
- 00:21:19,423 --> 00:21:21,562 [Horse neighs]
- 00:21:31,114 --> 00:21:32,617 Dan Harmon: Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:34,989 --> 00:21:36,926 Voice: Bento. [Cheering]
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