Загрузка
00:00
/
21:31
Мужчина Женщина Стол Стулья Еда
Ty's Man Woman Table Chairs Food
Сезон: 02Серия: 07
Описание
После того, как Аскилл отдаёт ему двух свиней, Тираннис встречает караван картографов во главе с Софи, которая объясняет, как работают карты. Хотя Киллассас есть на карте, Крапополиса там нет, поскольку Софи заявляет Тираннису, что Крапополис можно добавить на карту, если там будет ресторан. Показав карту своей семье, что лишит работы их искателя Кейси, и предложив им открыть ресторан, Тираннис убеждает Гиппокампа стать поваром в ресторане, который он называет «Еда Тая: Мужчина, Женщина, Стол, Стулья». Вскоре им начинают нравиться различные блюда, которые готовит Гиппокамп, а Делирия и Шлуб, переодеваясь, проникают в ресторан. Тем временем Ступендоус и Спайк используют карту, чтобы отправиться в Киссурию и сразиться с киссурианцами. Пока Спайк погибает в ледяных горах, Ступендоус достигает Непреодолимой Пропасть и встречает Бабака из Киссурии после того, как для противостояния построен мост.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,072 --> 00:00:04,577 Tyrannis: Hey. Thanks again for the hogs.
- 00:00:04,643 --> 00:00:06,012 We go through them so fast,
- 00:00:06,045 --> 00:00:07,481 and you never have a hog when you need one.
- 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,318 Asskill: Well, I'm happy to help out.
- 00:00:09,352 --> 00:00:11,456 If I've got a spare hog lying around, it's yours.
- 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:14,095 Tyrannis: Oh, and, um, also, thank you for not eating me.
- 00:00:14,095 --> 00:00:15,364 I don't say that enough.
- 00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:17,969 Oh, come on! I'd never eat you.
- 00:00:18,003 --> 00:00:21,409 -You're all bone. -I appreciate that.
- 00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:22,646 Ooh! Caravan!
- 00:00:22,646 --> 00:00:24,481 We don't get many travelers through here,
- 00:00:24,516 --> 00:00:27,956 and we certainly don't get many pretty lady travelers.
- 00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,258 [Horse neighs]
- 00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:30,862 Hello there. Welcome to the area,
- 00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:33,199 or as I like to call it... the area.
- 00:00:33,232 --> 00:00:35,070 I'm sorry. I thought something would come to me.
- 00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:37,542 Anyway, what brings you h-here?
- 00:00:37,609 --> 00:00:40,715 I'm Sophie, these are my guys. We're mapmakers.
- 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,619 Map...makers.
- 00:00:42,619 --> 00:00:45,090 Have you not heard of maps? They're the next big thing.
- 00:00:45,157 --> 00:00:46,627 They help you find where you're going.
- 00:00:46,627 --> 00:00:48,263 Like, if you needed to get from here to Thebes,
- 00:00:48,296 --> 00:00:50,000 how would you do that?
- 00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:52,271 Well, I'd ask our finder. We have this guy Casey.
- 00:00:52,305 --> 00:00:54,710 His whole job is just knowing how to get places.
- 00:00:54,710 --> 00:00:56,146 He's not that great, though,
- 00:00:56,179 --> 00:00:57,481 unless you're looking for a brothel.
- 00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:59,118 Oh, we have a great finder--Loretta.
- 00:00:59,151 --> 00:01:00,722 Every city has a finder.
- 00:01:00,789 --> 00:01:02,859 Well, every city's finder is about to kill themselves
- 00:01:02,892 --> 00:01:04,930 because this is a map.
- 00:01:04,997 --> 00:01:07,134 See? It shows mountains, rivers, paths,
- 00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:09,239 and of course all the important cities.
- 00:01:09,272 --> 00:01:11,376 And there we are. We're an important city!
- 00:01:11,443 --> 00:01:14,115 I'm an important king! Oh, shame.
- 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,019 Looks like Killassas didn't make it this time.
- 00:01:16,086 --> 00:01:18,456 I understand, but they've come so far.
- 00:01:18,524 --> 00:01:20,962 -Oh, Killassas is on there. -That's not Krapopolis?
- 00:01:20,996 --> 00:01:22,566 No. Krapopolis isn't on the map.
- 00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:25,037 And Killassas is?! It's barely a city!
- 00:01:25,103 --> 00:01:26,673 No offense.
- 00:01:26,673 --> 00:01:28,677 Hey. I'm selling these things. To get on the map,
- 00:01:28,677 --> 00:01:30,848 a city has to have something a traveler's gonna care about.
- 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,218 We're a democracy!
- 00:01:32,284 --> 00:01:33,721 They're a city of cannibals!
- 00:01:33,755 --> 00:01:35,323 Again, no offense.
- 00:01:35,357 --> 00:01:37,394 It's the "no offense" that's starting to bug me.
- 00:01:37,427 --> 00:01:39,566 City of cannibals is exactly the kind of thing
- 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,004 a traveler wants on the map so they can steer clear.
- 00:01:42,037 --> 00:01:43,741 What about your city is as useful to know
- 00:01:43,741 --> 00:01:45,377 as "They eat people here"?
- 00:01:45,411 --> 00:01:47,415 We have a very nice place to poo.
- 00:01:47,415 --> 00:01:49,118 Everywhere has a nice place to poo.
- 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,956 Do you have a restaurant?
- 00:01:51,022 --> 00:01:52,559 -We could. -Tell you what.
- 00:01:52,593 --> 00:01:54,195 We're coming back around in a few days.
- 00:01:54,262 --> 00:01:55,999 If you've got a decent restaurant by then,
- 00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,300 I'll put you on the map.
- 00:01:57,334 --> 00:02:00,007 -Restaurant. -Hey. could you take
- 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,643 our city off the map?
- 00:02:01,677 --> 00:02:04,181 -Travelers are 60% of our diet. -Oh, I don't know.
- 00:02:04,181 --> 00:02:06,052 Travelers really should be warned about--
- 00:02:06,052 --> 00:02:07,922 please remove us, or we'll eat you.
- 00:02:07,956 --> 00:02:09,659 Will do!
- 00:02:26,225 --> 00:02:28,197 Singers: ♪ Huh huh huh huh
- 00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:32,404 ♪ Huh huh huh whoo
- 00:02:36,078 --> 00:02:37,481 It's called a map,
- 00:02:37,516 --> 00:02:39,185 and it shows where everything is.
- 00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:40,855 Casey's gonna kill himself.
- 00:02:40,855 --> 00:02:42,525 That's the least of our problems.
- 00:02:42,559 --> 00:02:44,563 I didn't mean that, Casey. We'll find you another job.
- 00:02:44,596 --> 00:02:45,664 Casey: Ohh.
- 00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:47,769 Why is it the least of our problems?
- 00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:49,773 Because it shows every significant city
- 00:02:49,806 --> 00:02:51,109 in the modern world
- 00:02:51,209 --> 00:02:52,578 with the notable exception of mine.
- 00:02:52,578 --> 00:02:54,048 You mean ours.
- 00:02:54,115 --> 00:02:55,116 Deliria: I don't think mortals should know
- 00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:56,485 where things are.
- 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,256 It's more fun to watch them wander.
- 00:02:58,256 --> 00:02:59,391 The cities who don't get on this thing are
- 00:02:59,391 --> 00:03:00,695 going to be left in the dust.
- 00:03:00,695 --> 00:03:01,997 I have to be on it!
- 00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:03,466 -We. -Look Kissuria's a city
- 00:03:03,501 --> 00:03:05,270 you can't even get to, and it's on the map.
- 00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:07,508 Wait, that's where Kissuria is?
- 00:03:07,508 --> 00:03:09,278 Past the Ice Mountains of Death all the way
- 00:03:09,345 --> 00:03:11,349 on the other side of the Uncrossable Chasm?
- 00:03:11,382 --> 00:03:13,019 I always thought it was reachable.
- 00:03:13,052 --> 00:03:14,556 Well, now you know it's not,
- 00:03:14,556 --> 00:03:16,293 but what you don't know, looking at this map,
- 00:03:16,359 --> 00:03:18,262 is that my city exists.
- 00:03:18,262 --> 00:03:20,034 -Our city. -And that's why we're
- 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,269 opening a restaurant.
- 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:22,672 Deliria: A restaurant?
- 00:03:22,672 --> 00:03:24,141 The thing where humans go to eat
- 00:03:24,208 --> 00:03:25,778 as if they're worth serving food to?
- 00:03:25,778 --> 00:03:27,749 I wouldn't be caught dead in a restaurant.
- 00:03:27,782 --> 00:03:29,686 Shlub: I've been caught dead in several.
- 00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:31,957 Tyrannis: Well, we need a restaurant to get on the map,
- 00:03:31,991 --> 00:03:33,460 and Hippo's gonna be our chef.
- 00:03:33,527 --> 00:03:35,430 Hippocampus: Me?! I'm not cooking for people!
- 00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:37,668 Oh, I forgot. You only care about yourself.
- 00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:38,905 Correct.
- 00:03:38,971 --> 00:03:40,307 Why did I think that would work?
- 00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:41,677 Come on! For once in your life,
- 00:03:41,677 --> 00:03:43,413 do something for the good of the city.
- 00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:45,552 Oh. The city you can't stop calling your city?
- 00:03:45,552 --> 00:03:47,187 What is there, some girl,
- 00:03:47,221 --> 00:03:48,558 some girl you're trying to impress?
- 00:03:48,558 --> 00:03:50,060 If you're not going to cook simply
- 00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:51,295 to make other people happy,
- 00:03:51,295 --> 00:03:52,832 how about I appeal to your ego?
- 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:56,238 What if someone could be the best at cooking?
- 00:03:56,272 --> 00:03:58,778 Well, obviously, it would be me.
- 00:03:58,778 --> 00:04:00,146 -Prove it. -I will!
- 00:04:00,146 --> 00:04:01,717 And I know you just played me,
- 00:04:01,717 --> 00:04:04,589 but well played because I am completely in.
- 00:04:04,623 --> 00:04:06,158 Guess we've got ourselves a restaurant.
- 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,929 I guess we have.
- 00:04:07,996 --> 00:04:09,332 [Cheering]
- 00:04:09,365 --> 00:04:10,334 Stupendous: What the hell is this?
- 00:04:10,367 --> 00:04:11,937 Spike, what is this?
- 00:04:12,004 --> 00:04:13,674 Spike: They saw the damn map.
- 00:04:13,708 --> 00:04:16,045 They're celebrating because those baby-eating bastards
- 00:04:16,045 --> 00:04:17,916 from Kissuria can't invade us.
- 00:04:17,916 --> 00:04:19,485 End of an era, huh?
- 00:04:19,553 --> 00:04:21,790 All my life, I've been preparing to be invaded
- 00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,359 by the Kissurians.
- 00:04:23,359 --> 00:04:25,565 I was raised on stories about those animals,
- 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,102 how they eat babies, how they chop off your fingers
- 00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:30,040 one by one and feed them to your baby
- 00:04:30,073 --> 00:04:31,577 and then still eat the baby.
- 00:04:31,644 --> 00:04:33,312 Don't forget the butt sewing.
- 00:04:33,312 --> 00:04:35,752 The most twisted, vile battlefield torture
- 00:04:35,785 --> 00:04:38,456 ever conceived-- sewing your butt closed
- 00:04:38,524 --> 00:04:40,995 and then force feeding you till you explode?
- 00:04:41,028 --> 00:04:44,301 Hey, guys! We don't need our butt guards anymore.
- 00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:45,939 Throw them on the fire!
- 00:04:45,972 --> 00:04:47,642 [Cheering]
- 00:04:47,642 --> 00:04:49,178 Stupendous: Look at them, goofing around,
- 00:04:49,211 --> 00:04:50,548 not a care in the world.
- 00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:52,384 I can't let that happen to me.
- 00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:54,623 I am keeping this butt guard and these finger holders
- 00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:57,529 until I have properly killed those Kissurian bastards
- 00:04:57,529 --> 00:04:59,098 on a field of battle!
- 00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,535 Spike: Hell, yeah! I'm in!
- 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,572 Let's go kick some ass!
- 00:05:06,379 --> 00:05:10,120 Hello, and welcome to Ty's Man Woman Table Chairs Food.
- 00:05:10,153 --> 00:05:11,823 Catchy name.
- 00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:13,760 Have you eaten in a restaurant before?
- 00:05:13,794 --> 00:05:16,365 We've never eaten indoors before.
- 00:05:16,398 --> 00:05:19,338 Well, you're in for a treat.
- 00:05:19,372 --> 00:05:20,675 Let me tell you how it works.
- 00:05:20,675 --> 00:05:22,378 You order food, we cook it.
- 00:05:22,378 --> 00:05:23,714 It's really that simple.
- 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,384 -Do we have to kill it? -Nope.
- 00:05:25,384 --> 00:05:26,820 -Gut it? -Nope.
- 00:05:26,887 --> 00:05:29,024 Skin it, bleed it, make it into chunks?
- 00:05:29,091 --> 00:05:30,661 Nope! We do all that for you.
- 00:05:30,695 --> 00:05:33,333 Should be called Ty's Kill Gut Skin Bleed
- 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,439 Man Woman Table Chairs Food Chunks Eat.
- 00:05:36,507 --> 00:05:38,376 We will certainly take a look at that.
- 00:05:38,409 --> 00:05:40,413 So I can order anything?
- 00:05:40,413 --> 00:05:42,150 No. I should have been more specific.
- 00:05:42,184 --> 00:05:44,155 You can order any amount of one thing,
- 00:05:44,155 --> 00:05:46,125 and that thing is chicken,
- 00:05:46,159 --> 00:05:48,029 and the amount can't be too much.
- 00:05:48,062 --> 00:05:51,135 Great. We'll have one.
- 00:05:51,168 --> 00:05:52,839 Hippo, we've got our first customers,
- 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:54,977 and they will have one delicious chicken.
- 00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:58,250 Chicken is child's play. Every cook can make chicken.
- 00:05:58,283 --> 00:06:00,287 I'm making octopus.
- 00:06:00,287 --> 00:06:02,559 Octopus? Humans don't eat octopus.
- 00:06:02,592 --> 00:06:04,930 You should. All they talk about is eating you.
- 00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:06,332 OK. Noted.
- 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,102 Seriously, they have 17 different words
- 00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:09,740 for human meat.
- 00:06:09,773 --> 00:06:11,576 They're crossbreeding themselves to become giant.
- 00:06:11,576 --> 00:06:13,245 Point taken, but this is just supposed to be
- 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:14,682 a simple, functioning restaurant.
- 00:06:14,716 --> 00:06:17,487 Wrong! It's a test of my genius.
- 00:06:17,555 --> 00:06:19,458 I tenderized this thing precisely
- 00:06:19,491 --> 00:06:20,995 for the best mouthfeel.
- 00:06:21,028 --> 00:06:23,299 I seared it the perfect amount for caramelizing,
- 00:06:23,332 --> 00:06:25,037 and here--lemon juice.
- 00:06:25,070 --> 00:06:26,539 Enhances the flavor.
- 00:06:26,573 --> 00:06:28,109 This is scientifically delicious.
- 00:06:28,175 --> 00:06:29,779 Taste.
- 00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:34,890 Oh! Oh, Hippo. You're a genius.
- 00:06:34,957 --> 00:06:36,459 I just said that.
- 00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:38,429 What is that thing your eyes are doing?
- 00:06:38,463 --> 00:06:40,334 Showing pleasure?
- 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,739 Yeah, but why does it feel good to me?
- 00:06:42,739 --> 00:06:45,276 Because there's a simple joy in making people happy?
- 00:06:45,309 --> 00:06:47,013 That can't be it. Wait a minute.
- 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,484 The satisfaction of the eater is how I can measure
- 00:06:49,484 --> 00:06:51,088 my greatness!
- 00:06:51,121 --> 00:06:54,929 You think the people out there will make the same face?
- 00:06:54,929 --> 00:06:58,203 Mmm! Oh, my God.
- 00:06:58,203 --> 00:07:00,340 Mmm!
- 00:07:00,374 --> 00:07:01,610 Feels good, right?
- 00:07:01,610 --> 00:07:03,614 Feels great! Let's go, people.
- 00:07:03,648 --> 00:07:05,250 Fire up the grill!
- 00:07:05,284 --> 00:07:07,420 I got an idea for a new oyster dish!
- 00:07:07,487 --> 00:07:09,124 Do they hate humans, too?
- 00:07:09,158 --> 00:07:10,427 Hmm. Let me think.
- 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:11,596 Do you steal their jewelry?
- 00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:14,067 All right! Let's start shucking!
- 00:07:17,742 --> 00:07:19,946 Hi. Welcome to Ty's Man Woman
- 00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:21,482 Table Chairs Food.
- 00:07:21,516 --> 00:07:23,620 Man: The branding is all wrong, but the food.
- 00:07:23,654 --> 00:07:25,490 Woman: He does a thing with octopus.
- 00:07:25,558 --> 00:07:26,926 Trust me.
- 00:07:26,993 --> 00:07:28,797 You need to put octopus on the sign.
- 00:07:28,831 --> 00:07:30,634 Tyrannis: Can I be in charge of the name, please?
- 00:07:30,668 --> 00:07:32,539 Wait. They kill it and gut it, too?
- 00:07:32,572 --> 00:07:36,412 Yeah. The sign is very misleading.
- 00:07:36,445 --> 00:07:38,416 Hippocampus: More turmeric.
- 00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:39,953 Getting there.
- 00:07:39,953 --> 00:07:41,322 Start over!
- 00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:42,825 Chef, I made this chicken.
- 00:07:42,892 --> 00:07:44,461 Be honest. What do you think?
- 00:07:44,529 --> 00:07:45,698 What is it? Boiled?
- 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,200 And you didn't even pluck it!
- 00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,503 Casey, you're fired.
- 00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:51,041 Please. I can't lose another job.
- 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:53,847 Then stay, but don't touch anything.
- 00:07:53,914 --> 00:07:55,250 Tyrannis: Hello, hello, hello.
- 00:07:55,283 --> 00:07:56,486 Great business out there.
- 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:57,556 How's it going back here?
- 00:07:57,622 --> 00:08:00,260 Ty, I'm crushing this.
- 00:08:00,293 --> 00:08:01,730 It's like with science
- 00:08:01,796 --> 00:08:03,734 I make something, and it's done,
- 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,807 but with food, what I'm making is deliciousness,
- 00:08:06,807 --> 00:08:08,511 and there's no upper limit to that,
- 00:08:08,578 --> 00:08:11,015 or if there is, I intend to find it.
- 00:08:11,015 --> 00:08:12,484 That's why we do it!
- 00:08:12,551 --> 00:08:14,254 So anyway, table 8 would like the octopus dish
- 00:08:14,254 --> 00:08:15,958 -from yesterday. -No, no, no.
- 00:08:15,991 --> 00:08:18,429 The octopus dish from yesterday won't enthrall them
- 00:08:18,429 --> 00:08:19,699 like it did yesterday.
- 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:21,135 I'm sure they'll be fine with it.
- 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,306 I just told you I'm not working for fine.
- 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:24,843 I'm working for better than anything,
- 00:08:24,909 --> 00:08:26,980 and better than anything keeps getting redefined
- 00:08:27,014 --> 00:08:28,550 every time I cook.
- 00:08:28,584 --> 00:08:30,454 I worry that redefining greatness is getting away
- 00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:31,890 from the original mission.
- 00:08:31,957 --> 00:08:33,861 We only need a functioning restaurant
- 00:08:33,895 --> 00:08:36,298 -to get on the map. -Tut, tut, tut.
- 00:08:40,307 --> 00:08:41,844 Mmm!
- 00:08:41,844 --> 00:08:43,446 They will get their food, they will make the face,
- 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,083 I will be the best, you will be happy.
- 00:08:45,116 --> 00:08:47,187 OK. Just don't take too long to cook the food.
- 00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:48,623 These people will eat worms.
- 00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:50,728 And if they do, they will be the greatest,
- 00:08:50,728 --> 00:08:54,302 most exquisitely prepared worms anyone has ever tasted.
- 00:08:54,302 --> 00:08:55,872 I don't doubt that.
- 00:08:55,938 --> 00:08:58,877 Bard: ♪ And Deliria's ass is the finest ass ♪
- 00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:00,848 ♪ That the world has ever seen
- 00:09:00,882 --> 00:09:03,486 ♪ You could bounce a coin off a perfect little tushy ♪
- 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,392 Darling, have you heard? Hippo is quite the chef.
- 00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:09,064 The line at the restaurant reaches all around the block.
- 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,269 In other news, we have blocks now.
- 00:09:11,335 --> 00:09:13,472 Interesting, but I already said
- 00:09:13,472 --> 00:09:14,709 I had no interest.
- 00:09:14,743 --> 00:09:16,580 I'm on record.
- 00:09:16,613 --> 00:09:18,416 ♪ She already said she could not care less ♪
- 00:09:18,449 --> 00:09:21,222 ♪ But now she's curious about it ♪
- 00:09:21,255 --> 00:09:22,626 [Screech]
- 00:09:22,659 --> 00:09:25,230 Ow! Why a cat?! You know I'm allergic.
- 00:09:25,263 --> 00:09:27,233 This is over the top!
- 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,504 There has to be a give and take.
- 00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:30,173 Haven't I earned that?
- 00:09:30,206 --> 00:09:31,876 Now I'm all the way outside,
- 00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:34,982 and both of my hands are cats? Why?!
- 00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:36,051 [Cats yowling]
- 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,387 What if we went to the restaurant
- 00:09:37,487 --> 00:09:38,858 but not as ourselves?
- 00:09:38,858 --> 00:09:41,328 Shlub: I'm always up for some roleplay.
- 00:09:41,395 --> 00:09:42,799 Ooh. look at us.
- 00:09:42,865 --> 00:09:44,702 [Exaggerated voice] I'm Cato, a potter.
- 00:09:44,736 --> 00:09:47,441 [Exaggerated voice] And I'm Dolores, a milkmaid.
- 00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:49,044 And we're not married
- 00:09:49,044 --> 00:09:51,415 Ooh. We're playing with fire, aren't we?
- 00:09:51,448 --> 00:09:53,687 Ooh! If my husband were to find out.
- 00:09:53,754 --> 00:09:57,193 Would he fly into a violent rage?
- 00:09:57,227 --> 00:09:59,700 We're gonna have to try less sexy disguises,
- 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,705 or we'll never make it to the restaurant.
- 00:10:07,414 --> 00:10:09,185 [Grunting]
- 00:10:09,218 --> 00:10:10,988 Aah!
- 00:10:11,021 --> 00:10:12,124 Unh!
- 00:10:12,124 --> 00:10:14,295 Aah! Oof!
- 00:10:14,361 --> 00:10:15,998 [Both grunt]
- 00:10:21,108 --> 00:10:22,612 [Spike groans]
- 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:24,147 Stupendous: No!
- 00:10:28,122 --> 00:10:29,992 [Grunting]
- 00:10:37,976 --> 00:10:38,944 Huh?
- 00:10:38,978 --> 00:10:41,082 This is the Uncrossable Chasm?
- 00:10:41,082 --> 00:10:43,520 It's way more uncrossable than I thought.
- 00:10:43,554 --> 00:10:45,691 Damn it!
- 00:10:45,758 --> 00:10:47,962 Man: Damn it!
- 00:10:47,962 --> 00:10:50,601 Wait. Are you an echo or a person?
- 00:10:50,701 --> 00:10:53,206 Man: Wait. Are you an echo or a person?
- 00:10:53,272 --> 00:10:54,976 No, wait. You go first.
- 00:10:54,976 --> 00:10:57,281 Man: No, I want to go first.
- 00:10:57,281 --> 00:10:59,117 That's what I--hey!
- 00:10:59,151 --> 00:11:03,092 I am Babak of the Kissurian people.
- 00:11:03,092 --> 00:11:06,733 I am Stupendous of Krapopolis.
- 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:09,304 -We got maps. -So did we.
- 00:11:09,304 --> 00:11:11,275 I came here to kick your ass!
- 00:11:11,308 --> 00:11:13,848 Same. I had hoped the Uncrossable Chasm
- 00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,818 was a hyperbolic nickname.
- 00:11:15,818 --> 00:11:18,256 Me, too. Like the Bottomless Lake.
- 00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:22,230 No, I have been there. That thing is bottomless.
- 00:11:22,263 --> 00:11:26,507 Huh. Well, I'm not leaving without kicking your ass.
- 00:11:26,573 --> 00:11:28,576 Ohh--
- 00:11:28,576 --> 00:11:31,081 -We should build a bridge. -Agreed,
- 00:11:31,115 --> 00:11:33,119 and this is not gonna be one of those things
- 00:11:33,119 --> 00:11:35,323 where we realize we work better together.
- 00:11:35,357 --> 00:11:36,760 Absolutely not.
- 00:11:36,793 --> 00:11:39,464 Once the bridge is built, you die.
- 00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:43,607 Tyrannis: Oh, wow! The joint is jumping.
- 00:11:43,607 --> 00:11:45,611 Welcome to Ty's Man Woman Table Chairs
- 00:11:45,611 --> 00:11:47,013 Different Types of Food.
- 00:11:47,047 --> 00:11:48,883 There's just a bit of a wait.
- 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,923 Should be called Ty's Man Woman Wait Table Chairs Diff--
- 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:53,761 Can I be in charge of the name, please?
- 00:11:53,794 --> 00:11:55,564 Fine. Oh, there's some lady
- 00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:57,100 back there who says she's a mapmaker.
- 00:11:57,166 --> 00:12:00,239 She's here? Sophie, welcome to my restaurant.
- 00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:02,945 Is it even a restaurant? So far, it's just a line.
- 00:12:02,979 --> 00:12:04,516 It's a restaurant!
- 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:05,751 We're just working out a few kinks.
- 00:12:05,785 --> 00:12:07,187 You're gonna love it, though.
- 00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:08,957 I'll be the judge of that, though.
- 00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:10,661 ♪ Love our playful banter
- 00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,497 Just want food.
- 00:12:14,502 --> 00:12:16,338 [Grunting]
- 00:12:20,413 --> 00:12:24,488 -Aah! -Arrr!
- 00:12:24,522 --> 00:12:29,030 I will remove your head and parade it around my city!
- 00:12:29,064 --> 00:12:30,901 I'll put your corpse on a pole
- 00:12:30,935 --> 00:12:33,072 and use strings to move your arms and mouth
- 00:12:33,139 --> 00:12:35,678 and make it seem like you're saying bad things.
- 00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,147 Like what?
- 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,786 Like "Hi. I'm Babak, and I eat babies."
- 00:12:39,819 --> 00:12:41,355 [Grunting]
- 00:12:41,421 --> 00:12:42,858 Why would I eat babies?
- 00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:45,330 You Krapopolites are the baby eaters.
- 00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:47,568 That's a lie! We fight with honor.
- 00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:50,073 I love that sword!
- 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:53,446 -[Screaming] -[Grunting]
- 00:12:53,446 --> 00:12:56,987 You're the ones who sew people's butts closed like cowards.
- 00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:59,992 We did that one or two times as a joke.
- 00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:02,932 Meanwhile, you people do nothing but suck out
- 00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:07,373 your enemies' eyeballs and feed them to your babies.
- 00:13:07,373 --> 00:13:09,345 Stupendous: I strongly reprimanded the soldier
- 00:13:09,445 --> 00:13:12,952 -who did that. -Aah!
- 00:13:12,985 --> 00:13:14,421 -Wait, wait. -What?
- 00:13:14,454 --> 00:13:16,458 You want to kiss me before I kill you?
- 00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:17,828 That ain't happening.
- 00:13:17,828 --> 00:13:19,632 No. Why would I want to kiss you?
- 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,268 It happens more often than you think.
- 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:23,540 Sometimes, signals get crossed in the brain.
- 00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:24,976 No. I--I can see that.
- 00:13:25,010 --> 00:13:26,980 No. The reason I said wait is
- 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,350 does anyone know you're here?
- 00:13:29,384 --> 00:13:30,754 -No. -Look.
- 00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:32,356 You're gonna kill me, which is fine.
- 00:13:32,356 --> 00:13:33,860 I accept that.
- 00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:35,531 Then I fall into the Uncrossable Chasm,
- 00:13:35,531 --> 00:13:40,373 so I die down there, but I got your leg pretty good.
- 00:13:40,373 --> 00:13:43,514 You won't make it back across those mountains.
- 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,818 You die on an ice shelf somewhere,
- 00:13:45,884 --> 00:13:47,320 and then what are we?
- 00:13:47,354 --> 00:13:49,659 A couple of dead fools who died in a place
- 00:13:49,692 --> 00:13:51,563 no one's ever gonna go to.
- 00:13:51,629 --> 00:13:54,502 Frigging maps. Get up here!
- 00:13:57,274 --> 00:13:59,344 It was gonna be so cool watching you
- 00:13:59,378 --> 00:14:00,847 fall all that way.
- 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:03,286 I would have screamed all the way down for you.
- 00:14:03,352 --> 00:14:09,364 Aaaaaaaaah!
- 00:14:09,364 --> 00:14:14,508 [Trailing off]
- 00:14:14,542 --> 00:14:16,412 Don't rub it in.
- 00:14:16,479 --> 00:14:17,782 We can do this.
- 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:18,984 We just have to come up with the most
- 00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:21,254 unsexy personas imaginable.
- 00:14:21,254 --> 00:14:23,226 Let's try this.
- 00:14:23,292 --> 00:14:25,864 [Exaggerated voice] I'm Sol, a plain old man.
- 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:28,937 I'm married to my job, which is counting beans.
- 00:14:29,004 --> 00:14:30,774 [Exaggerated voice] And I'm Helen.
- 00:14:30,774 --> 00:14:33,346 I have severe body odor and a stump for a leg.
- 00:14:33,379 --> 00:14:35,383 [Normal voice] How big of a stump?
- 00:14:35,450 --> 00:14:37,889 [Exaggerated voice] Why don't you find out, Mr. Bean Counter?
- 00:14:37,889 --> 00:14:39,491 [Moaning]
- 00:14:39,559 --> 00:14:41,262 [Exaggerated voice] I'm an absolute douchebag
- 00:14:41,328 --> 00:14:44,903 named Money Man with disgustingly long toenails.
- 00:14:44,936 --> 00:14:47,407 [Normal voice] Ohh! My top 3 weaknesses.
- 00:14:47,407 --> 00:14:49,111 [Moaning]
- 00:14:49,144 --> 00:14:51,549 -I'm a jellyfish. -I'm dead.
- 00:14:51,582 --> 00:14:53,887 How dead? No wrong answers.
- 00:14:53,954 --> 00:14:55,256 [Moaning]
- 00:14:55,323 --> 00:14:56,827 Well, I'm beginning to think that we may
- 00:14:56,827 --> 00:14:58,830 never taste Hippo's food.
- 00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:01,035 Oh, roleplay is simply too stimulating.
- 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,306 I may just have to swallow my pride and go as myself.
- 00:15:03,339 --> 00:15:05,042 Bard: ♪ She's swallowing her pride because ♪
- 00:15:05,076 --> 00:15:06,478 ♪ The roleplay was too sexy
- 00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:09,050 Who said you could watch, not sing.
- 00:15:09,050 --> 00:15:10,821 Hippo, she's here, the map lady.
- 00:15:10,821 --> 00:15:12,925 We need to get moving. Hippo?
- 00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:14,763 He's been like this for an hour.
- 00:15:14,829 --> 00:15:16,498 Brother, brother, what's going on here?
- 00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:19,070 I'm just trying to figure out a bay leaf.
- 00:15:19,103 --> 00:15:21,943 Hippo, no. Bay leaves are already figured out.
- 00:15:21,976 --> 00:15:23,614 They're leaves of bay.
- 00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:25,684 Chef, table 6 is still waiting on the salmon.
- 00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,721 -Is it ready? -Is it ready?
- 00:15:27,755 --> 00:15:29,825 Let's find out.
- 00:15:29,859 --> 00:15:32,163 No. It's Average.
- 00:15:32,196 --> 00:15:35,003 Average is good, and good is torture.
- 00:15:35,036 --> 00:15:36,272 Then torture yourself!
- 00:15:36,338 --> 00:15:38,208 Fine. Casey, get the salmon out
- 00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:40,547 of the garbage and serve it up.
- 00:15:40,581 --> 00:15:43,218 Is it OK if there's a couple bites missing?
- 00:15:48,362 --> 00:15:51,035 Hello again, and welcome to Ty's, just Ty's.
- 00:15:51,068 --> 00:15:52,805 Your server then explains the concept
- 00:15:52,838 --> 00:15:54,174 once you've sat down.
- 00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:56,211 -I like the name. -You're the first one.
- 00:15:56,278 --> 00:15:58,115 Look at that. Even gods eat here.
- 00:15:58,148 --> 00:16:00,119 Tell me, son, is this one of those places
- 00:16:00,153 --> 00:16:01,990 with peanut shells on the floor?
- 00:16:02,023 --> 00:16:03,627 It could be. Excellent because
- 00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:07,200 on the floor in my scat are peanut shells.
- 00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:08,770 I could come back.
- 00:16:08,804 --> 00:16:10,708 It seems like you're still working out the kinks.
- 00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:12,109 No, no, no. Don't leave.
- 00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:13,514 I'll seat you in just a second.
- 00:16:13,547 --> 00:16:15,115 Mum, Dad, do not turn this into a place
- 00:16:15,149 --> 00:16:16,686 where people don't want to eat.
- 00:16:16,719 --> 00:16:18,489 Hippocampus: Why not? Couldn't get any worse.
- 00:16:18,523 --> 00:16:21,061 He's got me cooking crap chickens for crap people.
- 00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:23,099 I thought you were cooking food worthy of a god.
- 00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:25,403 I was getting there, but he stopped me.
- 00:16:25,436 --> 00:16:28,844 Screw him. Make me something that would blow my mind.
- 00:16:28,877 --> 00:16:30,246 I will!
- 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,883 Can I just have a piece of chicken?
- 00:16:31,916 --> 00:16:33,553 I'm so hungry. I skipped breakfast.
- 00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:39,364 No. No one eats until I have pleased this customer.
- 00:16:39,397 --> 00:16:41,301 Tyrannis: Mother, can I ask you the biggest of favors?
- 00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:42,872 Could you just quickly tell Hippo that he's
- 00:16:42,905 --> 00:16:44,308 blown your mind, and be sure to
- 00:16:44,341 --> 00:16:45,610 roll your eyes back in your head.
- 00:16:45,644 --> 00:16:47,013 He likes that.
- 00:16:47,046 --> 00:16:48,851 If he blows my mind, I'll let him know.
- 00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:50,921 [Sizzling]
- 00:16:50,955 --> 00:16:52,323 Hmm. Interesting.
- 00:16:52,357 --> 00:16:54,160 Not the best thing you ever had?
- 00:16:54,194 --> 00:16:55,531 Of course not.
- 00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:56,800 [Hippocampus sighs]
- 00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:58,068 [Sizzling]
- 00:16:58,102 --> 00:16:59,706 It's good for humans or dogs.
- 00:16:59,739 --> 00:17:01,576 I can't remember who eats better.
- 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:07,120 Hmm. Pleasant.
- 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,090 Pleasant is the baseline!
- 00:17:10,895 --> 00:17:12,899 Hippo, the map lady, she's gonna leave.
- 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,602 Sophie: Thinking about it.
- 00:17:24,555 --> 00:17:28,196 It's...quite good for what it is.
- 00:17:28,229 --> 00:17:29,766 Hippo, take the win.
- 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,505 I can't. I can't do it!
- 00:17:32,538 --> 00:17:36,211 I'm a fraud! I'm an absolute fraud!
- 00:17:36,244 --> 00:17:38,750 Why did I ever think I could be the best at cooking?
- 00:17:38,783 --> 00:17:40,621 -Mmm! -Mmm!
- 00:17:40,654 --> 00:17:41,756 Ha ha ha!
- 00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:43,325 Everyone, out!
- 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:46,165 A delight from start to finish! We'll dine again!
- 00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:49,572 I said out! Get out!
- 00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:50,841 Rah!
- 00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:53,178 [People shouting]
- 00:17:53,212 --> 00:17:55,015 I think I've seen what I need to see.
- 00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:57,086 Hippocampus: Aah!
- 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:58,523 Tyrannis: Thank you for dining at Ty's
- 00:17:58,556 --> 00:18:02,030 Walk In Sit Down Don't Eat Run Away.
- 00:18:02,063 --> 00:18:03,600 I hate the mapped world.
- 00:18:03,633 --> 00:18:06,138 It used to be you'd go off on an adventure.
- 00:18:06,205 --> 00:18:07,742 You wouldn't know what you'd find
- 00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:09,444 or who you'd have to kill.
- 00:18:09,478 --> 00:18:11,850 Yeah, used to be anyone could show up
- 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,452 at your doorstep, anyone?
- 00:18:13,485 --> 00:18:15,924 My whole army was driven by the possibility
- 00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:17,260 of your invasion.
- 00:18:17,293 --> 00:18:19,665 -Us, too. -That's why I came here.
- 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:22,303 What I really wanted to fight was that map,
- 00:18:22,303 --> 00:18:24,307 but I guess the map won.
- 00:18:24,341 --> 00:18:27,280 Wait, but now the map is wrong.
- 00:18:27,313 --> 00:18:30,654 This is supposed to be the Uncrossable Chasm,
- 00:18:30,687 --> 00:18:32,223 but now it's covered
- 00:18:32,257 --> 00:18:34,561 by the Dangerous but Doable Bridge.
- 00:18:34,595 --> 00:18:37,968 You go home and tell your people that map is wrong.
- 00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:39,539 Tell them we're coming,
- 00:18:39,572 --> 00:18:42,043 and our babies are hungry for eyeballs.
- 00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:45,216 -Ha ha ha! -Ha ha ha!
- 00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:46,752 [Babak grunts]
- 00:18:46,786 --> 00:18:49,124 Wait. You think we have enough battle scars?
- 00:18:49,157 --> 00:18:50,694 It's got to be realistic.
- 00:18:50,727 --> 00:18:53,131 Oh, right. You want to just take this eyeball?
- 00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:55,135 -Sure. -You want to sew my butt shut?
- 00:18:55,169 --> 00:18:59,444 I'd like that. I'd like that very much.
- 00:18:59,477 --> 00:19:00,581 [Sobbing]
- 00:19:00,614 --> 00:19:02,416 -You did this to me. -I did?
- 00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:04,387 You let me believe that cooking
- 00:19:04,421 --> 00:19:06,158 could be scientifically measurable.
- 00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:07,695 That's because I couldn't get you to just cook
- 00:19:07,728 --> 00:19:09,230 for the sheer pleasure of doing something
- 00:19:09,264 --> 00:19:10,499 for someone else.
- 00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,236 Altruism? There's no such thing.
- 00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:14,407 Helping other people is always self-serving.
- 00:19:14,441 --> 00:19:16,344 I built this city for other people,
- 00:19:16,378 --> 00:19:18,817 and I wanted a restaurant for the good of the people.
- 00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:23,225 Oh, a restaurant called Ty's, where I did all the work?
- 00:19:23,258 --> 00:19:24,795 Branding was important!
- 00:19:24,828 --> 00:19:26,733 You didn't build this city to help people, Ty.
- 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,370 You built it to be the guy who helped people.
- 00:19:29,404 --> 00:19:31,675 The city was my penis, wasn't it?
- 00:19:31,709 --> 00:19:33,245 -What?! -No.
- 00:19:33,278 --> 00:19:35,917 I was just saying it's an extension of my ego.
- 00:19:35,951 --> 00:19:37,253 Then say that.
- 00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:39,490 Well, forgive me for being poetic.
- 00:19:39,525 --> 00:19:41,462 Casey: Hey, guys. What's so wrong
- 00:19:41,495 --> 00:19:44,367 about helping people for the sake of your own ego?
- 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,472 -Huh? -I mean, you made a city
- 00:19:46,506 --> 00:19:48,810 to get kudos, and you cooked
- 00:19:48,876 --> 00:19:50,680 for the good eye rolls,
- 00:19:50,714 --> 00:19:53,418 but either way, you guys gave me a job,
- 00:19:53,451 --> 00:19:56,191 and I was on the verge of ending it all in a brothel.
- 00:19:56,225 --> 00:19:58,663 I'm just saying good did come out of this,
- 00:19:58,696 --> 00:20:01,367 whether or not it's why you did it.
- 00:20:02,938 --> 00:20:04,440 How do you like the sound
- 00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:08,381 of Casey's Man Woman Eat Chicken Table?
- 00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:12,490 Thanks for coming back. So was that the best
- 00:20:12,525 --> 00:20:14,127 whole, boiled, unplucked chicken
- 00:20:14,194 --> 00:20:16,498 -you've ever had? -First and hopefully last.
- 00:20:16,532 --> 00:20:18,736 So good enough to put us on the map?
- 00:20:18,770 --> 00:20:20,540 Yeah. I'll make a note that Krapopolis has
- 00:20:20,574 --> 00:20:22,410 a restaurant you should definitely avoid...
- 00:20:22,443 --> 00:20:24,047 -Oh. -but a king
- 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,449 who tries real hard.
- 00:20:25,483 --> 00:20:28,155 I'll take the win. Mum, Dad, no!
- 00:20:28,189 --> 00:20:30,961 My name is Sam the Jellyfish.
- 00:20:30,994 --> 00:20:33,398 And I'm Jessica, and I'm dead.
- 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,745 [Speaking Octopus]
- 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,002 Dan Harmon: Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:27,908 --> 00:21:29,010 Voice: Bento! [Cheering]
Скриншоты
