Тор
Описание
Тираннис и его спутница-гарпия охотятся на волка в «Северном мире», где он случайно использует стрелу из олимпийской стали на Иггдрасиле. Прибывают скандинавские боги Один, Хела, Локи и Тор вместе с Йормунгандром. Делирия не хочет, чтобы Ступендус пережил то же самое, что и она, когда встречалась с Тором во время взаимодействия скандинавских богов с олимпийскими. Пытаясь заставить Тора вспомнить о ней и одновременно не дать Тираннису вмешаться, Делирия превращается в Ступендуса, но Тираннис разрушает её, в результате чего Делирия случайно ранит Тора. Тем временем Шлуб и Гиппокамп видят, что три тролля по имени Грарг, Грунк и Грельда пришли вместе со скандинавскими богами, и пытаются подружиться с ними, что приводит к неожиданным результатам.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,973 --> 00:00:04,743 Tyrannis: So you say the wolves around here
- 00:00:04,810 --> 00:00:06,012 are really that big?
- 00:00:06,046 --> 00:00:07,716 Harpy: Oh, the biggest,
- 00:00:07,749 --> 00:00:09,418 big as, like, 3 normal wolves.
- 00:00:09,451 --> 00:00:11,924 Tyrannis: And I can kill one with this sideways bow?
- 00:00:11,958 --> 00:00:13,994 There! I see one!
- 00:00:14,028 --> 00:00:15,698 Holy moly, he's big. [Wolf snarling]
- 00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:17,736 Will I be able to carry it? It's very important
- 00:00:17,769 --> 00:00:20,474 that I carry it on my shoulders as I enter town.
- 00:00:20,508 --> 00:00:22,111 [Wolf roars]
- 00:00:22,144 --> 00:00:23,480 Come on! He's getting away!
- 00:00:23,515 --> 00:00:25,150 Harpy: We should not cross the border
- 00:00:25,183 --> 00:00:26,887 into the northern world.
- 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,123 Tyrannis: I'm sure it's fine.
- 00:00:28,156 --> 00:00:29,626 Let's get this bastard.
- 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,138 Harpy: Careful. That tree is sacred.
- 00:00:44,222 --> 00:00:46,894 How sacred would you say?
- 00:00:46,927 --> 00:00:49,164 [Theme music playing]
- 00:00:57,649 --> 00:00:59,686 [Singers chanting]
- 00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:10,106 Singers: Whoo!
- 00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,982 Tyrannis: The Norse gods are coming here?
- 00:01:14,015 --> 00:01:15,350 Why? What's that about?
- 00:01:15,417 --> 00:01:17,388 Does anyone know what it might be about?
- 00:01:17,421 --> 00:01:19,225 Deliria: Someone broke their sacred tree
- 00:01:19,259 --> 00:01:21,029 using an arrow tipped with Olympian steel.
- 00:01:21,062 --> 00:01:23,935 Tyrannis: Wow, I wouldn't have even thought they have trees.
- 00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:26,172 How sacred is this one exactly?
- 00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:27,675 Deliria: It connects Valhalla and Hel.
- 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,412 They have two places you go when you die,
- 00:01:29,445 --> 00:01:31,148 depending on whether you're "good" or "bad."
- 00:01:31,182 --> 00:01:33,153 It's way too confusing. I mean, you're dead.
- 00:01:33,186 --> 00:01:34,756 How good can you be?
- 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,960 Stupendous: But why do we have to be here?
- 00:01:37,027 --> 00:01:39,165 Aw, crap! Are we food? Deliria: No,
- 00:01:39,198 --> 00:01:42,004 the Norse gods get pissy if there isn't a huge crowd.
- 00:01:42,038 --> 00:01:44,008 [Thunderclap]
- 00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:46,278 [Majestic music playing]
- 00:01:50,855 --> 00:01:52,826 Jormungandr: Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you,
- 00:01:52,859 --> 00:01:57,502 coming today from Asgard, the greatest city in the universe...
- 00:01:57,536 --> 00:01:59,105 Deliria: Wrong. Jormungandr: the gods
- 00:01:59,138 --> 00:02:00,775 of the northern world!
- 00:02:00,808 --> 00:02:04,148 First to be introduced, the father of all the gods,
- 00:02:04,182 --> 00:02:06,085 protector of heroes who join him
- 00:02:06,119 --> 00:02:07,989 when they die. Stupendous: If they're dead,
- 00:02:08,023 --> 00:02:09,559 he didn't protect them much, did he?
- 00:02:09,593 --> 00:02:12,666 Jormungandr: Please welcome the great Odin.
- 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:15,504 Next to introduce, the goddess of the dead.
- 00:02:15,538 --> 00:02:18,711 She's "hella" powerful. This is a funny joke
- 00:02:18,744 --> 00:02:21,349 because her name is Hela!
- 00:02:21,382 --> 00:02:24,088 Also next, look out, he's gonna trick ya.
- 00:02:24,122 --> 00:02:26,259 Please welcome the trickster god,
- 00:02:26,293 --> 00:02:29,365 who is named Loki!
- 00:02:31,637 --> 00:02:33,607 Ha ha ha ha! Tyrannis: That's his thing?
- 00:02:33,641 --> 00:02:35,276 He does tricks? Stupendous: Lame.
- 00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:37,247 Do these guys even have a war god?
- 00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:39,251 Jormungandr: Also next, the god of thunder.
- 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:40,922 Please welcome...
- 00:02:40,956 --> 00:02:43,661 [Thunderclap] Thor!
- 00:02:43,694 --> 00:02:45,965 Stupendous: Whoa! Tyrannis: Stupe, are you OK?
- 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,138 Stupendous: I think I just got in touch with my straight side.
- 00:02:49,171 --> 00:02:52,177 -Over here! -Look upon our fair breasts!
- 00:02:52,211 --> 00:02:54,516 Thor: Your chests are nearly as beautiful
- 00:02:54,516 --> 00:02:56,452 as my own. Woman: Score!
- 00:02:56,485 --> 00:02:58,323 Tyrannis: So, hypothetically, if this meeting doesn't
- 00:02:58,356 --> 00:02:59,826 go well, what happens?
- 00:02:59,859 --> 00:03:01,830 Deliria: War between Asgard and Olympus.
- 00:03:01,863 --> 00:03:03,835 Tyrannis: And is that more of a you problem
- 00:03:03,868 --> 00:03:05,838 or an us problem? Deliria: Well, the war would
- 00:03:05,871 --> 00:03:09,045 go on forever, and mortals would be the first to die.
- 00:03:09,078 --> 00:03:11,049 So if I were you, I'd mingle my ass off.
- 00:03:11,082 --> 00:03:12,552 Tyrannis: Copy that.
- 00:03:12,619 --> 00:03:14,388 Loki: Do you see this little flower,
- 00:03:14,421 --> 00:03:16,126 or is it a big flower?
- 00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:18,129 And where are your sandals?
- 00:03:18,163 --> 00:03:19,900 [People murmur]
- 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,204 -You're not impressed? -Oh, no, it was good.
- 00:03:22,237 --> 00:03:24,208 A good little trick you did there.
- 00:03:24,242 --> 00:03:26,212 Loki: My tricks are not little. I represent chaos.
- 00:03:26,245 --> 00:03:28,216 -Got it, yeah. -For example,
- 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,253 you and I are talking right now, yes?
- 00:03:30,287 --> 00:03:31,890 -That we are. -And you say hello
- 00:03:31,924 --> 00:03:33,627 and expect me to say hello. Tyrannis: Sure.
- 00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:36,700 But instead, I hand you a snake. [Snake hissing]
- 00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:38,470 I am Loki!
- 00:03:38,504 --> 00:03:40,474 Tyrannis: I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time making
- 00:03:40,508 --> 00:03:42,645 that one feel appreciated.
- 00:03:42,679 --> 00:03:44,817 What? What are we looking at so intensely?
- 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,987 Thor: So, what are you the goddess of?
- 00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:49,191 Stupendous: Me? I'm not the goddess of anything.
- 00:03:49,225 --> 00:03:51,897 -Could have fooled me. -[Giggles]
- 00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:54,101 I don't know what that was. Hee hee hee!
- 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,674 I mean, grrr! I'm a soldier.
- 00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:58,845 Tyrannis: Wow, that looks like it went well.
- 00:03:58,878 --> 00:04:01,182 Stupendous: Oh, yeah, I'm into this guy, and when Stupe aims
- 00:04:01,216 --> 00:04:03,186 to hit something, Stupe don't miss.
- 00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:05,390 The Stuper the berry, the Stuper the fruit.
- 00:04:05,424 --> 00:04:07,394 You feel me? Deliria: Thor?
- 00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:09,398 I wouldn't if I were you. Been there, done that.
- 00:04:09,431 --> 00:04:11,402 He and I had a thing back in the day.
- 00:04:11,436 --> 00:04:13,808 I mean, if you're into sloppy seconds, have at it.
- 00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:15,644 Tyrannis: Mother, what the hell was that?
- 00:04:15,678 --> 00:04:17,782 Deliria: What? I'm offering advice to my daughter.
- 00:04:17,816 --> 00:04:19,519 Tyrannis: No, you're sex-blocking her.
- 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:21,222 We need a better word for that.
- 00:04:21,255 --> 00:04:22,825 Deliria: It's for her own good.
- 00:04:22,892 --> 00:04:24,863 A mother looks after her daughter in these matters.
- 00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:26,667 Tyrannis: So you genital-preventing
- 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,238 your own daughter had nothing to do with jealousy?
- 00:04:29,272 --> 00:04:30,741 -Jealousy? -You watched him flirt
- 00:04:30,775 --> 00:04:32,411 with her, and I watched you watching.
- 00:04:32,445 --> 00:04:34,148 Deliria: So we both like watching things.
- 00:04:34,181 --> 00:04:35,751 Look at us and our kinks.
- 00:04:35,784 --> 00:04:37,922 If anything, he was trying to make me jealous.
- 00:04:37,955 --> 00:04:41,262 That's exactly the kind of mind game I want to protect her from.
- 00:04:41,295 --> 00:04:43,934 -Hello, Thor. -Oh, hi.
- 00:04:44,969 --> 00:04:46,940 Hippocampus: I can't believe Ty and Stupe got invited
- 00:04:46,973 --> 00:04:49,512 to that thing just 'cause they're "demi-gods."
- 00:04:49,546 --> 00:04:51,517 I mean, they were born with legs.
- 00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:53,520 Isn't that enough? Shlub: Screw that party.
- 00:04:53,553 --> 00:04:56,192 We'll have fun together. We should go and have a drink.
- 00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,862 Hippocampus: Eh, maybe.
- 00:04:57,895 --> 00:04:59,866 I might just blow up some stuff and call it a night.
- 00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:02,839 Shlub: Oh, look, the Norse gods brought trolls with them.
- 00:05:02,906 --> 00:05:05,277 Hippocampus: Those are trolls? Those guys are evil.
- 00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:06,947 And I heard if you get one to bleed,
- 00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:08,449 their blood turns to gold.
- 00:05:08,483 --> 00:05:10,621 We should mess him up. We should drain him.
- 00:05:10,654 --> 00:05:13,593 Shlub: You would kill someone for money just like that?
- 00:05:13,627 --> 00:05:16,399 Hippocampus: A troll? Hell yeah. The world would thank us.
- 00:05:16,432 --> 00:05:18,971 Shlub: That sounds way too self-satisfied.
- 00:05:19,004 --> 00:05:20,440 Hippocampus: Self-satisfied?
- 00:05:20,474 --> 00:05:22,444 Are we not talking about trolls here?
- 00:05:22,512 --> 00:05:25,350 Is this how I find out my dad loves trolls?
- 00:05:25,384 --> 00:05:27,855 They eat children! Shlub: You don't get it because
- 00:05:27,888 --> 00:05:29,593 you don't drink with people. Hippocampus: You're going
- 00:05:29,626 --> 00:05:32,264 to highroad me for not being a drunk now?
- 00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:34,101 Shlub: It's a vibe, and one you'd do well
- 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,439 to spend some time in. Hippocampus: Spend some time?
- 00:05:36,472 --> 00:05:38,476 Who the hell else do you drink with?
- 00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:40,480 Shlub: I've had drinks with ogres, with krakens.
- 00:05:40,515 --> 00:05:42,484 There's a monster in Africa that's just a horse
- 00:05:42,484 --> 00:05:44,956 with a long neck, and I've had drinks with those guys.
- 00:05:44,990 --> 00:05:46,760 Hippocampus: You're talking about giraffes?
- 00:05:46,827 --> 00:05:48,964 Giraffes are peaceful. -They're absolute monsters.
- 00:05:48,997 --> 00:05:51,335 Their master plan starts with convincing you fellows
- 00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:52,972 they're just animals, but trust me.
- 00:05:53,006 --> 00:05:55,344 They'll grow whatever it takes to eat everything.
- 00:05:55,377 --> 00:05:58,083 -OK, fine! -And yet, and yet!
- 00:05:58,116 --> 00:05:59,553 I've sat down and had a drink
- 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,590 with one, and we found common ground.
- 00:06:01,623 --> 00:06:03,895 Hippocampus: So you're telling me if I sit down and drink
- 00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:06,901 with a fricking troll, I'll come away from that
- 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,038 not thinking he's a complete piece of crap?
- 00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:10,641 Shlub: Why don't we find out?
- 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,779 Excuse me, my friend and I were
- 00:06:12,812 --> 00:06:16,620 just talking about how much we hate bridge trespassers.
- 00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:19,592 Troll: Oh, don't get me started! I mean, hello!
- 00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:22,464 A bridge is not just some friggin' pile of rocks
- 00:06:22,498 --> 00:06:26,171 for you to walk over. It's someone's home!
- 00:06:26,205 --> 00:06:27,541 Deliria: Thor, old friend.
- 00:06:27,575 --> 00:06:29,111 Thor: Oh, hello.
- 00:06:29,144 --> 00:06:31,315 Would you like me to look upon your breasts now?
- 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,320 -Darling, it's me. -Have we met?
- 00:06:33,353 --> 00:06:34,956 Deliria: You can stop the charade now.
- 00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:37,461 I dumped you, and I'm sorry if you can't get over it.
- 00:06:37,494 --> 00:06:40,199 Thor: I'm so sorry. I really have no recollection.
- 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:43,741 You are saying you and me, we...
- 00:06:43,775 --> 00:06:45,878 -You are joking. -I'm very bad at joking.
- 00:06:45,912 --> 00:06:49,085 I do know one joke, though. A man has accidentally
- 00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,889 eaten the feces of his teacher.
- 00:06:50,922 --> 00:06:53,627 It's funny because in our language, the word
- 00:06:53,660 --> 00:06:55,765 for teacher, man, feces, eaten, and accidentally
- 00:06:55,798 --> 00:06:58,002 all sound almost identical!
- 00:06:58,036 --> 00:07:00,040 Deliria: We had sex for hundreds of years!
- 00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:03,547 You called me Spanky Tush! I called you Mr. Lollipop!
- 00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:06,285 Thor: This does not ring a bell, or as we say,
- 00:07:06,319 --> 00:07:07,955 "gut a fish."
- 00:07:07,989 --> 00:07:10,327 Deliria: Pretending he doesn't remember me?
- 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,632 Can you believe the lies this guy tells?
- 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,636 Tyrannis: Well, maybe he actually doesn't remember you.
- 00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:16,607 Deliria: Oh, he remembers me, and he'll do the same thing
- 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,844 to her, and she won't be able to handle it.
- 00:07:18,877 --> 00:07:20,848 Tyrannis: Oh, right, this is something you can handle,
- 00:07:20,881 --> 00:07:23,721 which is why you're so angry. -Don't change the subject!
- 00:07:23,754 --> 00:07:25,925 This is about Stupendous, and he does not get
- 00:07:25,958 --> 00:07:27,762 to do this to me-- I mean, her.
- 00:07:27,796 --> 00:07:29,632 That meant nothing. I mix up my words sometimes,
- 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:32,137 like "horse" and "fish." I did that once.
- 00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:34,141 Tyrannis: Mother, you are flailing right now,
- 00:07:34,208 --> 00:07:36,547 and I'm not judging. I know exactly what you're feeling.
- 00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:39,418 You're feeling weak, irrelevant, like everyone knows
- 00:07:39,452 --> 00:07:41,222 you wet the bed, as a random hypothetical,
- 00:07:41,256 --> 00:07:43,727 and the minute you demand they stop thinking you wet beds--
- 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,599 again hypothetically, you've put yourself in a spiral
- 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,737 that ends with you walking around with your sheets,
- 00:07:48,771 --> 00:07:51,408 making everyone smell them to confirm there's no urine.
- 00:07:51,442 --> 00:07:54,949 Which is pathetic, or would be if anyone had ever done it.
- 00:07:54,982 --> 00:07:57,622 Deliria: What are you saying, besides you wet beds?
- 00:07:57,655 --> 00:07:59,626 Tyrannis: The minute you start penis-deflecting
- 00:07:59,659 --> 00:08:01,630 your own daughter, you're headed into trouble.
- 00:08:01,696 --> 00:08:03,867 Deliria: Not if I'm headed into awesome.
- 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,337 Horse exit!
- 00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:07,675 See?
- 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:11,917 Athena: Hela, fair warning.
- 00:08:11,917 --> 00:08:13,754 I will have your brother tonight.
- 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:16,860 -Not if I get there first. -Uh, I have wings on my feet.
- 00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:19,264 I get everywhere first. Hela: It looks like you may be
- 00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:22,638 too late, as my brother has already chosen a bed partner.
- 00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:24,643 Thor: I'm so curious about you,
- 00:08:24,676 --> 00:08:26,445 like, what's your deepest fear? Tell me.
- 00:08:26,479 --> 00:08:28,818 Stupendous: Pretty much a tie between nothing and nobody.
- 00:08:28,851 --> 00:08:30,822 What's yours? Thor: Mine is that I will fall
- 00:08:30,855 --> 00:08:34,529 onto an upturned chair and be penetrated by one of its legs.
- 00:08:34,563 --> 00:08:37,267 -Yeah, that would haunt me. -But my biggest fear
- 00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:40,574 is I'm afraid of not kissing you.
- 00:08:40,608 --> 00:08:42,443 Deliria: Oh, hello there.
- 00:08:42,477 --> 00:08:44,481 I brought drinks for the lovebirds.
- 00:08:44,515 --> 00:08:46,151 -Mom. -There are some who say gods
- 00:08:46,185 --> 00:08:48,524 should only be with gods, but you're not afraid
- 00:08:48,557 --> 00:08:51,061 to date beneath you. Love wins.
- 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,066 -Mom. -I'm excited by how strong
- 00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,605 your daughter is. Deliria: For a mortal, sure.
- 00:08:55,638 --> 00:08:57,609 She was strong even as a baby. You would have been
- 00:08:57,642 --> 00:08:59,613 several million years old by then.
- 00:08:59,646 --> 00:09:01,082 Does that trouble you,
- 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:03,687 the almost incalculable age difference?
- 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,692 Tyrannis: Mom, isn't there a city you could be blowing up?
- 00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:08,429 Or look, this servant spilled a drink on you.
- 00:09:08,462 --> 00:09:10,233 -No, I didn't. -Seems like a problem
- 00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:12,739 that demands all of your attention right now.
- 00:09:12,772 --> 00:09:14,575 Doesn't she deserve to be a goat?
- 00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:16,746 I know I'd love to see it. Deliria: I'm fine, Ty.
- 00:09:16,780 --> 00:09:18,750 -You're not, Mother. -I hear you're looking
- 00:09:18,817 --> 00:09:21,623 to couple up. I have every set of genitals,
- 00:09:21,656 --> 00:09:24,762 and they are fresh. Deliria: Get off me, worm.
- 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,469 [Goat bleats]
- 00:09:28,504 --> 00:09:30,741 Troll: So then this mermaid goes,
- 00:09:30,774 --> 00:09:32,611 "Well, you're my first troll,
- 00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:34,983 so I guess we're both new at this."
- 00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:37,087 [All laugh]
- 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,291 Troll: But I didn't love her, which is why I had to
- 00:09:39,325 --> 00:09:42,665 toss her back. I knew I couldn't give her what she needed.
- 00:09:42,698 --> 00:09:44,970 Shlub: Sounds like you did the honorable thing.
- 00:09:45,003 --> 00:09:47,473 Hippocampus: Yup, yup, so lemme ask you something, Grarg,
- 00:09:47,508 --> 00:09:50,480 speaking of love, and I see you're a real romantic...
- 00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:52,317 Grarg: That I am. That I am.
- 00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,522 Hippocampus: Would you say that maybe not all people
- 00:09:54,522 --> 00:09:56,560 should be loved the same amount automatically?
- 00:09:56,593 --> 00:09:58,898 Grarg: Now you're talking my language.
- 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,368 Hippocampus: Interesting. So what do you think about
- 00:10:01,402 --> 00:10:05,545 this concept of some people being better than others?
- 00:10:05,578 --> 00:10:07,380 -Are we cool? -Well, I mean,
- 00:10:07,414 --> 00:10:10,453 don't say anything you wouldn't say among friends.
- 00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:13,527 Grarg: Well, it sounds like you guys are talking about...
- 00:10:13,594 --> 00:10:14,863 mothers.
- 00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:16,866 -Wait. Mothers? -Mothers deserve
- 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,837 to be lifted above everyone.
- 00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:20,841 They give us life, they nourish us,
- 00:10:20,874 --> 00:10:23,379 and what do we do in return? We take 'em for granted.
- 00:10:23,413 --> 00:10:26,587 They should be cherished, every last one of them.
- 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,091 Shlub: Absolutely. And I'm not even winking.
- 00:10:29,124 --> 00:10:31,462 Grarg: If I could have my mom back for one day,
- 00:10:31,495 --> 00:10:33,133 you know what I would do?
- 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,936 Anything she wanted.
- 00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:37,942 Hippocampus: To mothers! Odin: To Olympus!
- 00:10:37,975 --> 00:10:40,948 I see friendships forming. Love blossoming.
- 00:10:40,981 --> 00:10:43,654 My boy Thor's made a new friend, looks like.
- 00:10:43,687 --> 00:10:47,260 And mutual respect between our two god-doms!
- 00:10:47,294 --> 00:10:49,999 -Hear, hear! -And even though you guys really
- 00:10:50,032 --> 00:10:52,304 borked our Yggdrasil Tree, which is, like, the single
- 00:10:52,337 --> 00:10:55,176 most sacred--but whatever. I'm past it, I'm past it.
- 00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,582 You guys are cool, we're cool, I'm cool.
- 00:10:57,615 --> 00:11:00,153 Anyway, Skol! All: Skol!
- 00:11:00,187 --> 00:11:02,559 Tyrannis: Hey, come on, Mom. Let this one go.
- 00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:04,361 War's been averted, they're letting go
- 00:11:04,395 --> 00:11:06,867 of all the tree silliness, and look how happy Stupe is.
- 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,204 They're clearly hitting it off. Stupe: Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:11:09,238 --> 00:11:12,143 Wait, the feces came from his teacher?
- 00:11:12,177 --> 00:11:13,781 That is hilarious!
- 00:11:13,814 --> 00:11:16,151 -She's making a huge mistake. -What if she's not?
- 00:11:16,184 --> 00:11:17,822 For that matter, what if she is?
- 00:11:17,855 --> 00:11:19,324 It doesn't take away from you at all.
- 00:11:19,357 --> 00:11:21,229 You're still hot, and I don't need anyone
- 00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:23,233 unpacking that. It's an objective compliment.
- 00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:25,103 Deliria: This isn't about me. I need to prove
- 00:11:25,136 --> 00:11:26,974 he remembers having sex with me.
- 00:11:27,007 --> 00:11:28,978 Tyrannis: That sounds like it's very much about you.
- 00:11:29,011 --> 00:11:30,981 Loki: There you are. Tell me, Mr. King,
- 00:11:31,014 --> 00:11:32,685 do you like snakes? Tyrannis: No,
- 00:11:32,718 --> 00:11:34,154 we already established I don't.
- 00:11:34,188 --> 00:11:35,891 Loki: Then why are you drinking one?
- 00:11:35,924 --> 00:11:37,562 Tyrannis: Aah! [Chuckles]
- 00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:40,868 That's very clever, but we're having a discussion here.
- 00:11:40,902 --> 00:11:42,838 Loki: What discussion can be more important
- 00:11:42,838 --> 00:11:45,811 than your missing sandals? Where could they be?
- 00:11:45,844 --> 00:11:47,815 Inside of this snake?
- 00:11:47,848 --> 00:11:49,819 Tyrannis: It's fun. It's very fun stuff.
- 00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:51,823 You do a lot with snakes and sandals, I see,
- 00:11:51,856 --> 00:11:54,829 but my mother and I are talking about a family matter.
- 00:11:54,862 --> 00:11:56,833 Loki: Yes, I've heard. You have been spurned
- 00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:58,837 by a lover. Tyrannis: It's fine. She's fine.
- 00:11:58,871 --> 00:12:01,041 Loki: One time, my lover chose another man.
- 00:12:01,075 --> 00:12:03,513 Then do you know what I did? I made myself look exactly
- 00:12:03,547 --> 00:12:06,419 like this other man and made love to her as him.
- 00:12:06,452 --> 00:12:08,222 [Chuckles]
- 00:12:08,256 --> 00:12:10,595 The look on her face when I revealed myself.
- 00:12:10,628 --> 00:12:13,032 It was delicious revenge!
- 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,169 Tyrannis: To get your girlfriend to have sex with you, thinking
- 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:17,709 you were someone better? Am I missing something cultural?
- 00:12:17,742 --> 00:12:19,377 Loki: It was chaotic power!
- 00:12:19,411 --> 00:12:21,749 She will never forget what I did to her that day!
- 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,220 Tyrannis: And this was a burn on her, not you?
- 00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:26,258 -I'm going to get more snakes. -There is something
- 00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:28,262 to what he's saying. Tyrannis: Are you kidding?
- 00:12:28,295 --> 00:12:30,267 You want to turn yourself into Stupendous
- 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,270 and have sex with Thor? Deliria: Of course not,
- 00:12:32,303 --> 00:12:34,274 but if Thor thinks I'm Stupendous,
- 00:12:34,308 --> 00:12:36,479 he'll tell her things he refuses to tell me.
- 00:12:36,513 --> 00:12:38,416 Namely that he remembers.
- 00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:40,353 Tyrannis: I will not let you do this. It is petty,
- 00:12:40,386 --> 00:12:42,725 embarrassing, and messed-up. And there's consent issues.
- 00:12:42,758 --> 00:12:44,729 Deliria: As petty, embarrassing, and messed-up
- 00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:47,400 as breaking a tree and pretending you didn't?
- 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,139 Tyrannis: Wait. You knew? Why haven't you told anyone?
- 00:12:50,173 --> 00:12:52,110 Deliria: Because we are a family, and families
- 00:12:52,144 --> 00:12:54,114 let each other do petty, embarrassing,
- 00:12:54,147 --> 00:12:56,284 and messed-up things if they want.
- 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,022 Tyrannis: Aren't families supposed to save each other
- 00:12:58,022 --> 00:12:59,324 from themselves? Deliria: I don't have
- 00:12:59,357 --> 00:13:01,028 the slightest idea what families do.
- 00:13:01,061 --> 00:13:02,965 -But you just said that-- -Let me put it this way:
- 00:13:02,998 --> 00:13:05,302 You out me, I out you.
- 00:13:06,471 --> 00:13:08,810 So, unless you have more integrity than me,
- 00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:11,549 I have a trick to play.
- 00:13:13,821 --> 00:13:15,791 All: ♪ Well, he reached for the door ♪
- 00:13:15,825 --> 00:13:17,795 ♪ And his willy hit the floor ♪
- 00:13:17,829 --> 00:13:21,335 ♪ And that's why they call him Johnson! ♪
- 00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:23,507 Grarg: You know what I never thought about?
- 00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:26,011 So that song presupposes a world
- 00:13:26,044 --> 00:13:30,019 where the nickname Johnson exists before the guy with the--
- 00:13:30,053 --> 00:13:32,157 Hippocampus: Oh, my God! I'm a super-genius,
- 00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:34,662 and I never even thought of that!
- 00:13:34,696 --> 00:13:38,235 Grarg: That's why you can only sing it when you're wasted.
- 00:13:38,269 --> 00:13:39,973 Shlub: He's funny! You see that?
- 00:13:40,006 --> 00:13:42,979 Funny, thoughtful, a man full of surprises.
- 00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:46,886 Hippocampus: That he is. [All laugh]
- 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,890 Grarg: I know I'm just drinking to escape.
- 00:13:48,890 --> 00:13:50,861 You wanna know my darkest secret?
- 00:13:50,895 --> 00:13:52,865 Shlub: Sounds very vulnerable.
- 00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,869 Hippocampus: And yet dark. Grarg: I'm in love
- 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:57,006 with my best friend's girlfriend.
- 00:13:57,039 --> 00:13:59,011 Shlub: The mermaid? Grarg: No!
- 00:13:59,078 --> 00:14:01,047 Connie was just a distraction.
- 00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:04,722 Her name is Grelda, but she's never gonna leave Grunk.
- 00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:07,561 Is this gonna be enough food?
- 00:14:07,594 --> 00:14:11,636 All: ♪ Malog mog mog, den malog grog grog ♪
- 00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:15,845 ♪ Den malog mog grog grog penis!
- 00:14:15,878 --> 00:14:17,313 Shlub: And when all is said and done, we are
- 00:14:17,347 --> 00:14:19,519 just guys, singing about our parts.
- 00:14:19,552 --> 00:14:21,523 Hippocampus: You know what, Grarg? Grarg.
- 00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:24,194 Grarg, come in close. I'm glad I got to know you.
- 00:14:24,227 --> 00:14:27,400 Grarg: Same, but now I gotta drain you.
- 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,605 Hippocampus: What?
- 00:14:32,744 --> 00:14:36,084 Deliria as Stupe: Hey, I got some of this yeasty swill,
- 00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:39,324 which I love, because I'm Stupe!
- 00:14:39,358 --> 00:14:40,961 [Gulps, belches]
- 00:14:40,994 --> 00:14:43,399 I love how much gas is in it.
- 00:14:43,432 --> 00:14:45,102 Thor: This reminds me of another joke.
- 00:14:45,136 --> 00:14:47,106 A milkmaid goes to fetch some water,
- 00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:50,113 and her cow lifts her skirt with its flatulence.
- 00:14:50,146 --> 00:14:52,117 This is funny because once again--
- 00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:54,121 Deliria as Stupe: Hilarious. I'm Stupe.
- 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:57,260 I talk plain. Ha ha! Butts.
- 00:14:57,293 --> 00:14:59,999 So I have a question. You and my mom, you were
- 00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:02,671 just messing with her, right? You and her had a thing
- 00:15:02,705 --> 00:15:04,942 that you remember, right? Tyrannis: Mother, I thought
- 00:15:04,976 --> 00:15:06,646 about it, and I cannot let you do this.
- 00:15:06,679 --> 00:15:09,350 Thor: You are mistaking your sister for your mother,
- 00:15:09,384 --> 00:15:11,890 which is very amusing because--
- 00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:13,860 Deliria as Stupe: Ty, don't get in the way here.
- 00:15:13,894 --> 00:15:16,031 I'm Stupe, and Thor was just about
- 00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,570 to tell me something about our mother.
- 00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:20,273 Tyrannis: Don't listen to her. She's my dumb mother,
- 00:15:20,306 --> 00:15:22,276 about to do a very dumb thing.
- 00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,280 Deliria: What did we say about keeping quiet?
- 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,485 Thor: Stop! Stop this! Both: Stay out of this!
- 00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:28,924 Thor: Oof! Aah! [Deliria and Tyrannis groan]
- 00:15:28,957 --> 00:15:30,426 Stupendous: Hey, I got us some
- 00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:34,602 of that swill I like-- What the hell!
- 00:15:37,308 --> 00:15:39,111 Tyrannis: Wait, so Norse gods can die?
- 00:15:39,111 --> 00:15:40,814 You're telling me that the canonical real story
- 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,620 of the beloved god Thor is now that he died at a party
- 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:46,358 on Mt. Olympus when the goddess Deliria shoved him and he got
- 00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:48,930 fatally penetrated by a chair? Deliria: Yes.
- 00:15:48,963 --> 00:15:50,634 Stupendous: What the hell were you thinking?!
- 00:15:50,668 --> 00:15:53,339 Deliria: I wasn't thinking. Aah! What is this feeling?
- 00:15:53,372 --> 00:15:55,176 There's a feeling in my stomach.
- 00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:56,880 -Is it like a pit? -Yes,
- 00:15:56,913 --> 00:15:59,251 like a pit of bad. A badness in my stomach.
- 00:15:59,284 --> 00:16:02,190 -Yes, that's called shame. -Which you should be feeling!
- 00:16:02,223 --> 00:16:04,695 Tyrannis: I warned you about it, but the more pressing issue is
- 00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:06,498 the probable end of humanity.
- 00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,269 Oh, let me see if I can fix this.
- 00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:11,175 Is--is there a way we can make this look heroic?
- 00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:14,314 Ah, OK, OK. He's not impaled on a chair.
- 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:17,220 He was stabbed. That's a little better.
- 00:16:17,253 --> 00:16:20,293 Hey, he--he fought valiantly... [Grunting]
- 00:16:20,326 --> 00:16:22,296 against...
- 00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:24,101 a mouse.
- 00:16:24,101 --> 00:16:26,405 No, a giant mouse, who,
- 00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:31,381 after killing Thor, was cursed forever to be small.
- 00:16:32,651 --> 00:16:35,624 They're never gonna buy this, are they?
- 00:16:35,658 --> 00:16:38,329 Odin: My brave son did everything he could,
- 00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:41,001 but the giant mouse proved too powerful.
- 00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,707 We're told he fought bravely, but alas,
- 00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:45,644 this was the giant mouse's day.
- 00:16:45,677 --> 00:16:48,015 Tyrannis: I knew we'd pull this off. The peace holds,
- 00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:50,219 and they've got themselves a great little story.
- 00:16:50,252 --> 00:16:53,025 Maybe sometimes a price doesn't have to be paid.
- 00:16:53,059 --> 00:16:55,496 Deliria: Aah!
- 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:57,901 Odin: Such is the legacy of Thor,
- 00:16:57,935 --> 00:16:59,906 God of Thunder,
- 00:16:59,939 --> 00:17:01,776 killed by a giant mouse.
- 00:17:01,843 --> 00:17:04,080 Deliria: Aah!
- 00:17:04,113 --> 00:17:06,318 Very sorry.
- 00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:09,692 Odin: That's actually kind of cool.
- 00:17:09,726 --> 00:17:11,696 Deliria: Aah!
- 00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,332 It's this thing in my stomach.
- 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,336 I get a little relief when I scream fire,
- 00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,007 but it just comes right back.
- 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,177 Wah! Tyrannis: God, I'm telling you,
- 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,983 that is shame. You did something shameful.
- 00:17:22,016 --> 00:17:23,553 Deliria: Fine, let's call it shame.
- 00:17:23,587 --> 00:17:25,256 I just need to get rid of it. Should I set fire
- 00:17:25,289 --> 00:17:27,427 to more things? Whoa! Tyrannis: It won't work,
- 00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:29,297 Trust me. I'm no stranger to it.
- 00:17:29,331 --> 00:17:31,570 I'm carrying a fair amount of shame at all times.
- 00:17:31,603 --> 00:17:33,573 -So help me get rid of it. -As far as I know,
- 00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:36,144 there's only one way that's even halfway reliable.
- 00:17:36,178 --> 00:17:38,617 Face your daughter. -Am I spitting fire on her?
- 00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:40,319 Stupendous: I'll just deflect it.
- 00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:42,224 We can do this all day.
- 00:17:42,257 --> 00:17:44,194 Tyrannis: No, you're not spitting fire on her.
- 00:17:44,227 --> 00:17:46,198 Just say the words "I'm sorry."
- 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,737 -Do I have to mean them? -Start by saying them.
- 00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:50,072 Deliria: I'm sorry.
- 00:17:50,072 --> 00:17:51,576 Oh, that does feel slightly better.
- 00:17:51,609 --> 00:17:53,245 Stupendous: Maybe try meaning it.
- 00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:55,249 Deliria: I'm sorry...
- 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,622 that I can't mean it any more than this,
- 00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,926 but I am willing to say it. I'm sorry.
- 00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:02,130 Stupendous: It's a start. Tyrannis: And now, I'm afraid
- 00:18:02,163 --> 00:18:04,735 both of us have to come clean with those guys.
- 00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:08,977 Deliria: My son and I have an announcement.
- 00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:10,981 Grunk: Let's drain the fish first.
- 00:18:11,015 --> 00:18:12,751 Hippocampus: Drain me? Why?
- 00:18:12,785 --> 00:18:15,623 Grunk: The word under the bridge is your blood gets us high.
- 00:18:15,657 --> 00:18:17,360 Hippocampus: You don't even know?
- 00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:18,897 You're draining me on spec?!
- 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:20,399 Shlub: You people are terrible.
- 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,236 Grarg: Yeah. We're trolls.
- 00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:24,074 Hippocampus: Dad, now you're saying they're bad?
- 00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:25,878 Shlub: Yes, because he didn't play fair.
- 00:18:25,911 --> 00:18:28,215 Hippocampus: Oh, hilarious! You hear that, Grarg?
- 00:18:28,248 --> 00:18:31,088 You didn't play by the rules of getting wasted!
- 00:18:31,121 --> 00:18:33,627 Shlub: Grarg, friend, come on, please.
- 00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:36,298 You felt something. We sang fun songs.
- 00:18:36,331 --> 00:18:38,937 Hippocampus: Grarg, Grarg, come on, find it, find it, man!
- 00:18:38,971 --> 00:18:40,439 Shlub: I said giraffes are the worst.
- 00:18:40,473 --> 00:18:42,410 You agreed. Grarg: They are.
- 00:18:42,443 --> 00:18:43,880 Hippocampus: You cried on my shoulder.
- 00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:46,418 The thing with that girl, your best friend's wife.
- 00:18:46,452 --> 00:18:48,422 What's her name? Grelda! Grunk: Grelda?
- 00:18:48,455 --> 00:18:50,426 You slept with Grarg?
- 00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,163 Grarg: She loves me more! [Grunting]
- 00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:55,136 Grunk: You bastard! Grelda: Don't hurt him!
- 00:18:55,169 --> 00:18:57,406 Shlub: This is probably our best chance.
- 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,580 Hippocampus: Yep. [Punches landing, trolls grunt]
- 00:19:00,614 --> 00:19:03,052 [Both panting]
- 00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:05,056 Hippocampus: Wow! That was freaky.
- 00:19:05,089 --> 00:19:07,026 Shlub, chuckling: Nice memory!
- 00:19:07,026 --> 00:19:09,363 Hippocampus: You know what, Dad? We should drink more often.
- 00:19:09,397 --> 00:19:13,205 Shlub: Yes, that's my fishy boy!
- 00:19:22,056 --> 00:19:24,227 Tyrannis: I really appreciate you giving us the chance
- 00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,431 to make things right. Deliria: And I'm sorry
- 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:28,737 I killed your son. Loki: It was the ultimate trick.
- 00:19:28,770 --> 00:19:30,908 Deliria: No, it wasn't. It was shameful.
- 00:19:30,941 --> 00:19:33,378 and tricks are stupid.
- 00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:39,491 Odin: Thank you for repairing our tree,
- 00:19:39,525 --> 00:19:42,363 and to be honest, I never quite clicked with Thor,
- 00:19:42,396 --> 00:19:44,969 so, yeah, this matter is closed.
- 00:19:45,002 --> 00:19:47,473 Thor should be up there now if you want to see him.
- 00:19:47,507 --> 00:19:49,879 Stupendous: You don't have to ask me twice.
- 00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:51,682 Tyrannis: So, he is immortal?
- 00:19:51,716 --> 00:19:55,356 Odin: No, he's dead, but you can go up and he can come down.
- 00:19:55,389 --> 00:19:57,862 Tyrannis: You've got a very flexible ontology here.
- 00:19:57,895 --> 00:19:59,965 Odin: Wait. It's been bothering me all night.
- 00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:02,470 You look familiar. Spanky Tush?
- 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:06,111 Deliria: Mr. Lollipop? Odin: Yes!
- 00:20:06,144 --> 00:20:07,647 It was us who had sex!
- 00:20:07,647 --> 00:20:09,953 I disguised myself as my son Thor
- 00:20:09,986 --> 00:20:13,191 because I saw you were attracted to him, which made me jealous.
- 00:20:13,225 --> 00:20:15,196 Deliria: Oh, that makes so much more sense!
- 00:20:15,229 --> 00:20:17,000 I told you no one would have forgotten me.
- 00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:19,003 Tyrannis: Yes, Mother, no one would have forgotten you,
- 00:20:19,036 --> 00:20:22,209 but somehow, I forgot that all gods are sociopaths.
- 00:20:22,243 --> 00:20:24,214 Odin: This reminds me of a joke.
- 00:20:24,247 --> 00:20:26,018 Deliria: We don't need to hear it.
- 00:20:26,051 --> 00:20:29,357 Tyrannis: Well, love is in the air. Anyone up for--
- 00:20:29,391 --> 00:20:33,498 Ladies: We're busy. Tyrannis: OK, copy that.
- 00:20:36,237 --> 00:20:37,240 Odin: A toast!
- 00:20:37,373 --> 00:20:39,310 To my brave son Thor, who is
- 00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:42,717 canonically dead now. All: Skol!
- 00:20:42,818 --> 00:20:44,789 Odin: All in all, it was a good trip.
- 00:20:44,822 --> 00:20:47,126 Hela, I hear you hooked up with Apollo.
- 00:20:47,159 --> 00:20:49,197 Hela: He was baby soft.
- 00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:51,703 Odin: And, Loki, amazing work down there.
- 00:20:51,736 --> 00:20:54,675 You did some of your best stuff. Heh heh heh! Did you guys see
- 00:20:54,709 --> 00:20:56,679 when that one guy's drink turned into snakes?
- 00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:58,683 And then his whole chair turned into snakes!
- 00:20:58,717 --> 00:21:00,887 [Laughter] Odin: So many snakes!
- 00:21:00,921 --> 00:21:03,058 Tyrannis: That's his thing? He does tricks?
- 00:21:03,091 --> 00:21:06,264 No, it's good, a good little trick you did there.
- 00:21:06,297 --> 00:21:08,269 I'm just trying to get my head around it.
- 00:21:08,302 --> 00:21:10,239 [Laughter continues]
- 00:21:10,273 --> 00:21:13,279 Loki: My next trick will be Ragnarok!
- 00:21:13,312 --> 00:21:15,617 The sky darkening, monsters from all corners
- 00:21:15,651 --> 00:21:18,824 of the earth converging on Asgard, all the gods dying,
- 00:21:18,857 --> 00:21:23,031 and the sun and stars falling into the sea!
- 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:25,537 [Silence, one man coughing]
- 00:21:28,141 --> 00:21:31,314 Hela: Does anyone want more fish?
- 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,686 Man: Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:35,957 --> 00:21:37,694 Woman: Bento. [All cheer]
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