Кризис оливкового масла — В разгар кризиса на Крапополисе Делирия тащит Ступендуса на миссию, где ему предстоит принять облик гусей, чтобы нагадить на новый храм Афины. После того, как охотник бросает в Делирию камень, Делирия теряет память и думает, что она гусыня. После кратковременной потери памяти Делирию и Ступендуса ловит охотник. Тем временем Тираннис получает от Шлуба информацию о нехватке оливкового масла и просит его присутствовать на торговой встрече, услышав о взаимовыгодном предложении. Пропустив встречу, Шлуб получает оливковое масло от Аскилла. Затем Тираннис поручает Шлубу урегулировать различные кризисы, связанные с провалом грунта, нехваткой продуктов, нашествием летучих мышей и ситуациями с огнедышащими орками. Вскоре дело доходит до того, что Аскилл и посетители бара хотят сделать Шлуба новым королем Крапополиса.

Предыдущая серия S01 E20 Принц Бегемот

Следующая серия S01 E22 Дело о короне Тиранниса

Кризис оливкового масла

Olive Oil Crisis

Сезон: 01Серия: 21

Описание

В разгар кризиса на Крапополисе Делирия тащит Ступендуса на миссию, где ему предстоит принять облик гусей, чтобы нагадить на новый храм Афины. После того, как охотник бросает в Делирию камень, Делирия теряет память и думает, что она гусыня. После кратковременной потери памяти Делирию и Ступендуса ловит охотник. Тем временем Тираннис получает от Шлуба информацию о нехватке оливкового масла и просит его присутствовать на торговой встрече, услышав о взаимовыгодном предложении. Пропустив встречу, Шлуб получает оливковое масло от Аскилла. Затем Тираннис поручает Шлубу урегулировать различные кризисы, связанные с провалом грунта, нехваткой продуктов, нашествием летучих мышей и ситуациями с огнедышащими орками. Вскоре дело доходит до того, что Аскилл и посетители бара хотят сделать Шлуба новым королем Крапополиса.

Субтитры

00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:03,400 - Помогите! - Помогите!
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:04,570 - Сюда! - Помогите!
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:05,970 Я делаю всё, что могу.
00:00:06,010 --> 00:00:08,310 Хватайся за ветку - и я тебя вытащу.
00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:09,950 И отпустить воду?
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,080 Это верная смерть!
00:00:11,150 --> 00:00:12,250 Что происходит?
00:00:12,350 --> 00:00:13,590 Много чего.
00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:15,430 Саранча жрёт наш урожай.
00:00:15,490 --> 00:00:16,860 Могильщик умер и просто сидел там.
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:19,530 В сырной пещере нашествие летучих мышей.
00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:21,300 Огнедышащие орки вернулись.
00:00:21,370 --> 00:00:22,610 И мост рухнул.
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,404 Я был так занят вопросом, смогу ли я построить
00:00:25,409 --> 00:00:28,120 мост из грязи, что забыл подумать, а стоит ли.
00:00:28,180 --> 00:00:29,390 Хватит раскисать, Саймон.
00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:30,790 Разберёмся в причинах позже.
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:32,630 Похоже, ты готов свалить всё на него!
00:00:32,690 --> 00:00:35,500 Разве это не твоя ответственность?
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:37,170 Я пытаюсь спасти тебя.
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,340 Спасти меня?
00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:41,510 Или свою драгоценную репутацию?
00:00:41,610 --> 00:00:43,410 Так, что у нас тут? Мост обрушился?
00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:46,650 Мне нужна верёвка, собака-спасатель, купальный костюм и что-то, что не тонет.
00:00:46,690 --> 00:00:49,990 И Гиппо, тот чай, который ты варишь из кофейных зёрен.
00:00:49,990 --> 00:00:50,760 Сейчас.
00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:52,130 Колосса, бросай все дела.
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,370 Нет, мама.
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,100 Не забирай ее сейчас.
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,670 Она спасает жизни.
00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:58,780 Неверно, она меняет дату их смерти.
00:00:58,810 --> 00:01:01,020 У меня кое-что намного более важное.
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,420 Мама, нет.
00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:04,520 Не превращай меня в... Кря!
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,930 Что может быть важнее и при этом требовать ее превращения в гусыню?
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:11,063 Когда Афина получает новый храм, мы с Колоссой становимся
00:01:11,068 --> 00:01:13,640 гусынями, чтобы слетать туда и нагадить на него.
00:01:13,670 --> 00:01:16,310 Это весёлый способ стать ближе с моим любимым ребёнком.
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,390 Отличная совершенно лишняя издёвка.
00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:19,390 Кто-то может помочь?
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:21,020 Кто угодно?
00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:22,160 Папа, хорошо, что ты здесь.
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,160 Ты это видишь?
00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:25,430 Видишь, что здесь оливкового масла?
00:01:25,530 --> 00:01:27,170 Во что мне макать хлеб?
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,540 Боже, помоги.
00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:30,280 Спасибо, да, мне нужна помощь.
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,880 Папа, верёвку!
00:01:31,950 --> 00:01:33,750 Ты доволен? Ты мог ее спасти.
00:01:33,820 --> 00:01:36,690 Откуда знать, может, теперь она живёт счастливо ниже по течению.
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,490 Если буду нужен, я в баре.
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:39,530 Ты мне нужен.
00:01:39,590 --> 00:01:41,300 И я буду в баре.
00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,690 Ладно, одна курица для тебя.
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,560 Стандартная выплата за потерю близкого.
00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:15,600 Подожди, ты не теряла близких.
00:02:15,630 --> 00:02:17,040 Так я не заслуживаю курицу?
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,500 Сын, на пару слов.
00:02:18,570 --> 00:02:19,670 В чём дело?
00:02:19,710 --> 00:02:21,480 Вернёмся к оливковому маслу.
00:02:21,510 --> 00:02:22,880 Папа, я невероятно занят.
00:02:22,950 --> 00:02:26,749 Я знаю, что для тебя это чуждая концепция, но я сейчас разбираюсь
00:02:26,754 --> 00:02:30,500 с миллионом кризисом и оливковое масло далеко не в начале списка.
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,230 Да, но люди любят оливковое масло.
00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:33,500 Должен тебя предупредить,
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:37,240 народ в баре сейчас не то чтобы сочиняет песни о любви к тебе.
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:38,540 О, бар.
00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:40,720 Да, конечно, ты по этому эксперт.
00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:42,350 Не совсем эксперт.
00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:43,750 Скорее любитель.
00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:46,160 Но почему бы не пойти им навстречу?
00:02:46,190 --> 00:02:47,360 Это всего лишь масло.
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,900 Ради него нужно работать. Как и ради всего.
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:51,570 Мой опыт говорит о другом.
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,640 Конечно, потому что я выполняю всю работу.
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,120 Такое отношение играет свою роль в твоей популярности.
00:02:57,180 --> 00:02:59,220 Я непопуля... Так, знаешь что, папа?
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,420 Хочешь оливкового масла? Ты этим и займись.
00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:02,660 Завтра торговая встреча.
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:03,900 Поручаю ее тебе.
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,230 Я люблю иногда пробовать что-то новое.
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,940 С радостью.
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,980 Было странно поручать папе оливковое масло.
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,520 Я понимаю, что это не в приоритете, но я хочу оливкового масла.
00:03:13,550 --> 00:03:15,190 Конечно, все его хотят.
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,790 Я тоже хочу.
00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:18,960 Но либо папа справится - и тогда отлично, масло будет.
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:23,970 Либо нет, и будем честны, именно так и случится. И тогда мы ничего не потеряем.
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,680 А ему придётся признать, что ради всего нужно работать.
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:30,150 Надо же, отдам тебе должное, братан.
00:03:30,180 --> 00:03:31,120 Хороший ход.
00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:32,050 Спасибо.
00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:34,120 Знаешь, что это? Беспроигрышная ставка.
00:03:34,190 --> 00:03:35,190 Беспроигрышная.
00:03:35,260 --> 00:03:36,660 Мне это нравится.
00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:38,200 - Ты сейчас это придумал? - Да.
00:03:38,270 --> 00:03:39,430 То есть не прямо сейчас.
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:40,600 Я это обдумывал.
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:43,240 Идеальный расклад, идеальный баланс.
00:03:43,270 --> 00:03:47,320 На какую бы сторону мы ни поставили, мы в выигрыше.
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,350 Кто бы ни выиграл, мы выиграем.
00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:51,420 Так и так выигрыш.
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:53,460 Я сказал, что уже обдумал это.
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,470 Ты съела достаточно ягод?
00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:59,540 Нужно обгадить много храмов Афины, тебя должно хватить на все.
00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:01,480 Да, мама, я съела достаточно.
00:04:01,540 --> 00:04:04,550 Прекрати сводить всю мою жизнь к еде в моем животе.
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,790 Брось, тебе это нравится.
00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:08,990 Нет, не нравится. У меня были дела.
00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:11,800 Ты моя дочь, а значит, ты работаешь на меня.
00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:14,200 Камень, камень, камень, камень?
00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:15,340 Камень, камень?
00:04:15,410 --> 00:04:17,540 О чём они говорят?
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,320 Мама!
00:04:21,350 --> 00:04:22,650 Ты в порядке?
00:04:26,490 --> 00:04:28,300 - Нет, нет! - Уйди!
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:30,700 Почему ты его не долбанула?
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,570 Для тебя это какая-то игра?
00:04:32,610 --> 00:04:34,040 Долбануть?
00:04:34,110 --> 00:04:36,480 Да, почему не долбанула его и не стала собой?
00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:37,480 Собой?
00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:38,590 Это и есть я.
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,060 Хватит шутить, мама.
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,230 Я не понимаю, о чём ты говоришь.
00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:46,330 Ну и ну, ты правда считаешь, что ты гусыня?
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,500 А кто же еще?
00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:48,840 Ладно, проверим.
00:04:48,910 --> 00:04:52,827 Если я скажу, что Делирия слабая маленькая вонючая задница, которая
00:04:52,832 --> 00:04:56,350 командует людьми из-за неуверенности в себе, что ты ответишь?
00:04:56,390 --> 00:04:57,760 Что такое Делирия?
00:04:57,790 --> 00:04:59,590 - Вот чёрт. - Они здесь!
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:00,700 Хороший мальчик.
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,500 Летим, летим, летим, летим.
00:05:07,710 --> 00:05:10,110 О, до-доброе утро, КОлакс.
00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:13,690 Ты давно здесь стоишь или?..
00:05:13,750 --> 00:05:16,760 Я с ежедневными катастрофами, ваше высочество. Хотите услышать?
00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:18,260 А, да, хорошо.
00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:21,770 Воронка породила вторую воронку.
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:24,910 И склад зерна теперь склад гнилого зерна.
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:27,380 Да, да, да, да. Но начнём с оливкового масла.
00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:28,850 Сперва давай десерт.
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,890 Это единственное, с чем всё нормально.
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,030 Извини, нормально? То есть...
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:36,330 Всё идёт гладко с тех пор, как за него отвечает ваш отец.
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:40,110 И это так меня злит.
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:45,450 И за такое, мой друг, тебя выгонят из ГомОрры.
00:05:47,490 --> 00:05:49,360 Что это? Что произошло?
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,430 Сын, хочешь оливкового масла?
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:52,700 У нас его много.
00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,570 Как ты добыл оливковое масло?
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,770 Это очень сложно.
00:05:56,810 --> 00:05:59,010 То есть не всегда сложно.
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,420 Зачастую это легко, но как ты это сделал?
00:06:02,490 --> 00:06:05,386 Я пропустил торговую встречу, на которую ты меня отправил.
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,995 Поэтому я пришёл сюда выпить и встретил этого
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,133 уродливого сукина сына, у которого масла хоть завались.
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:12,810 Этот парень!
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,780 Вождь каннибалов, который хочет нас съест.
00:06:14,810 --> 00:06:18,541 Не смотри на то, что я каннибал, и ты увидишь, что я человек,
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:21,860 который ест людей с оливковым маслом, которым я делюсь.
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:23,760 Ну, теперь всё понятно.
00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:25,160 Это метод Шлаба:
00:06:25,230 --> 00:06:28,710 случайно оказаться в ситуации, в которой тебе просто дают нужное.
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:32,950 Если случайно означает "поладить с людьми, чтобы понравиться им, и они захотели помочь".
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:34,720 Да, чего придираешься к Шлабу?
00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:37,627 Позволь заметить, из-за этой привычки указывать
00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:39,890 людям что делать ты им и не нравишься.
00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:41,600 - Я им нравлюсь. - Ну-у...
00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:43,700 Заткнись, МИриам. У тебя свои причины.
00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:45,710 И ты положила курицу в детскую коляску?
00:06:45,810 --> 00:06:47,810 И что с того?
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,150 Кого вообще волнует, что нравится жителям города?
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:51,890 Да уж.
00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:55,730 Вам нравится только бездельничать в баре.
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,900 Но для этого кто-то должен работать.
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,240 Пока вы не делаете этого добровольно, вам нужно указывать, что делать.
00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:05,540 И если это непопулярно, то возможно, популярность сама по себе проблема.
00:07:05,610 --> 00:07:06,850 Что я хочу сказать?
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,590 Это слово прямо на языке верти... Ах да. Бу-у-у!
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,330 Проваливай отсюда, козлина.
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,630 Да, вали отсюда.
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:18,140 Мы ненавидим тебя!
00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:22,850 Отлично сработано с маслом, Шлаб.
00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:24,780 Да!
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,120 Дружище, Шлаб.
00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:27,660 Похоже, всё-таки не беспроигрышная.
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,030 Нет, беспроигрышная.
00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:33,130 Просто один из выигрышей оказался не таким выигрышным, как другой.
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,010 Всё страдаешь из-за того, что тебя вышвырнули?
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:36,610 Меня не вышвыривали.
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:37,980 Не физически.
00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:39,850 Меня не поднимали и не бросали.
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:40,980 Меня прогнали.
00:07:41,050 --> 00:07:42,990 Мои ноги не отрывались от земли.
00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:47,530 То есть отрывались, но всего на мгновение.
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,270 Если честно, я очень желал папе провала.
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:52,010 Знаю.
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:53,310 Было бы шикарно!
00:07:53,370 --> 00:07:58,080 Он идёт по жизни, напиваясь и рассказывая дурацкие истории, и получает всё просто так.
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:02,390 А таких как мы, кто выполняет всю работу, смешивают с дерьмом.
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:03,360 Спасибо.
00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:06,470 Видимо, с этим нужно смириться.
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,200 Не обязательно.
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,240 Что если заставлять других работать за тебя - это правильно.
00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:15,850 Взгляни на маму. У нее вся власть в отношениях, и она ничего не делает.
00:08:15,890 --> 00:08:18,220 Что если в этом секрет?
00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:21,100 Пап, повторюсь, отлично сработано с маслом.
00:08:21,130 --> 00:08:22,970 Что ж, это было весело.
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,010 Так что не назвал бы это работой.
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:25,940 Да.
00:08:25,970 --> 00:08:29,850 Мы тут подумали, может, возьмёшь на себя больше обязанностей?
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,374 Если обязанности и дальше будут не более
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,690 требовательными, чем их отсутствие, я буду только рад.
00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:37,130 Чего вы хотели?
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,330 Ну, начнём с воронок.
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:41,870 И продуктов.
00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:44,240 Как ты видишь, инжир не первой свежести.
00:08:44,310 --> 00:08:48,550 По-прежнему остаются нашествие летучих мышей и огнедышащие орки.
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,220 Мои овцы!
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:54,360 И любые другие конфликты, нехватка чего-либо и смерти, которых можно было избежать.
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:58,309 Народ, отныне воронкой, продуктами, нашествием летучих мышей и
00:08:58,314 --> 00:09:02,310 орками будет заниматься чрезвычайно компетентный и способный Шлаб.
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,690 Назови полное имя для официальности.
00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:08,020 ШлАбрик Майкл.
00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:09,590 Это шутка, да?
00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:10,900 Глянусь богом.
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:18,380 Шлабрик Майкл... наш новый главный по воронкам, продуктам, летучим мышам и оркам.
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:22,920 Ты же понял, что он обрекает тебя на неудачу?
00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:23,960 Тиран?
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:25,460 Он бы не стал.
00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:28,030 Он не совсем с тобой честен.
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:31,200 Ти хочет, чтобы ты поел дерьма, что не к лицу для царя.
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,980 Возможно, он получит то, что хочет.
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,450 Я не собираюсь заполнять воронку.
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:37,220 Кто хочет выпить?
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,650 - За провал! - За провал!
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:40,890 Нет, знаете что?
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,390 Если твой провал станет его победой, я этого не допущу.
00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:46,730 Плюс ты отличный мужик, я не прочь для тебя покопать.
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,940 Я заполню воронку.
00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:48,940 Я тоже помогу.
00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:49,910 Да, и я.
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:50,910 Ради Шлаба.
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:52,850 Ради Шлаба!
00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:55,959 Так ты не помнишь, как когда мне было три тебе надоело ждать, пока
00:09:55,964 --> 00:09:58,790 я вырасту, и ты оставила меня на воспитание огненным муравьям?
00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:00,060 Нет.
00:10:00,090 --> 00:10:02,800 Не помнишь, как предлагала меня ГЕстии за ожерелье?
00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:04,900 Звучит не очень хорошо.
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:07,110 Не помнишь, как бросила меня в медведя?
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,640 Ты это выдумываешь.
00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:11,550 Мама, я попробую встряхнуть твою память.
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:12,620 Не злись.
00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:16,560 Зачем ты это сделала?
00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:17,630 Шансы были.
00:10:17,730 --> 00:10:20,670 А может, ты сможешь долбануть, не вспоминая.
00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:21,740 Попробуй.
00:10:21,770 --> 00:10:23,570 Бах, бах.
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:24,540 Давай, соберись.
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,750 Думай о том, о чём думаешь, когда знаешь, что ты богиня.
00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:28,990 Бах.
00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:30,760 Ты всё повторяешь слово "богиня".
00:10:30,820 --> 00:10:31,830 Да, это ты.
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:33,230 Я не знаю, что это.
00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:34,700 Но знаю, что такое мать.
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,000 Мать любящая, добрая и заботится о детях.
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,040 В каком мире это правда?
00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:44,817 Уверена, если бы я вспомнила твое детство, я бы вспомнила, как согревала тебя по ночам,
00:10:44,822 --> 00:10:49,160 кормила, учила летать, защищала от опасностей. Потому что именно это делает мать.
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,200 Да, мать-гусыня.
00:10:51,260 --> 00:10:55,050 Хм, ну а что, почему бы и нет?
00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:59,133 Лет пять поживу с хорошей мамой, а затем нас убьют и съедят.
00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:00,410 Тоже неплохо.
00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:03,690 Садись, я совью тебе гнездо.
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,870 Мне будет нисколько не стыдно, когда папа потерпит неудачу.
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:10,940 Ему нужен был этот урок.
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,440 Безусловно.
00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:16,380 Это и есть та самая беспроигрышная ситуация, о которой я тебе говорил.
00:11:16,450 --> 00:11:18,780 Погоди, воронка заполнена.
00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:20,660 Летучих мышей и орков нет.
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:21,760 Инжир?
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:26,979 Я так набухался, что врезался прямо в огромную
00:11:26,984 --> 00:11:30,470 статую финкса и отломал пенис у нее на лице.
00:11:32,910 --> 00:11:34,650 О-о, начальник здесь.
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,920 Все делаем вид, что заняты.
00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:38,220 А вот и ты, сынок.
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:40,730 Хорошие новости. Всё улажено.
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,530 Воронка, орки, мыши.
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:44,940 - Я даже не просил. - Ему не нужно было.
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,240 Он нам нравится.
00:11:46,310 --> 00:11:49,980 И этот старый козолюб гарантирует нам сто лет мира.
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,120 Сам ты козолюб.
00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:52,650 Это не по любви.
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:55,690 Стоп.
00:11:55,860 --> 00:11:58,400 Так все просто так рвали задницы ради папы?
00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:01,040 Но когда я вас о чём-то прошу, я плохой?
00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:02,140 Ты нам не нравишься.
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,310 Любой может как он.
00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:05,210 Он пьёт и оскорбляет людей.
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,950 Эй, носатый, как поживаешь?
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:08,550 А вот идёт вонючий пёс.
00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:11,560 А там чокнутая куриная мамаша с ее малышкой курицей.
00:12:11,590 --> 00:12:12,490 Это уже за гранью.
00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:15,360 Я делаю то же, что и он. Просто шучу.
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,570 Это ни черта не похоже на шутки.
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,910 Мой тупой отец всё время так делает.
00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:21,210 Ты оскорбляешь моего друга?
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,450 Вы вообще не друзья. Он тебе нравится, только когда ты пьян.
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:29,030 Теперь у тебя претензии к нашему пьянству? Ты хуже всех.
00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:30,530 Я скажу, что я вижу.
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:34,000 Я вижу, что когда за главного Шлаб, город управляется гораздо лучше.
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,270 Я падаю вверх.
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:39,880 А я вижу толпу людей, которых пьяница заставил работать за них.
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,420 Не нужно меня вышвыривать.
00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:48,160 Я сам уйду. Я пошёл.
00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,350 Мам, вспомним былое?
00:13:11,810 --> 00:13:12,910 Храм Афины.
00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:13,980 Афина?
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:15,150 Звучит знакомо.
00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:16,150 Нет, неважно.
00:13:16,190 --> 00:13:17,260 Забудь об этом.
00:13:17,290 --> 00:13:19,190 Это просто глупое слово.
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:21,600 Мы летели туда. Но зачем?
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:23,370 Без причины. Нам пора переселиться.
00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:24,540 Там озеро получше.
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:26,870 - Полетели. - Стой, я помню.
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,810 Нет, не вспоминай сейчас.
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:29,980 Вспомни потом.
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,920 Останься глупой еще немного.
00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:35,760 Я Делирия, богиня.
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:36,690 Чёрт.
00:13:36,790 --> 00:13:38,500 И ты не хотела, чтобы я вспоминала.
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,200 Ты хотела утаить это от меня.
00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:42,140 Всего на пару дней или лет.
00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:44,410 Жизнь гусыни - сущий ад.
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,050 Я переживаю за тебя, обожаю тебя.
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,950 Я свила тебе гнездо.
00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:50,220 Это называется быть матерью.
00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:51,820 Это называется мучение.
00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:56,330 Безусловная любовь? Чувство, что я скорее умру, чем позволю тебе навредить?
00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:58,810 Я этого худшему врагу не пожелаю.
00:13:58,840 --> 00:13:59,970 Ты преувеличиваешь.
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,780 Имею на это право.
00:14:01,810 --> 00:14:03,380 Истинный облик.
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,820 Истинный облик.
00:14:06,850 --> 00:14:07,920 Истинный облик!
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:15,720 Покажите мне женщин, зверей и мужчин.
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:20,630 А я вам покажу возбуждающий пир.
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:24,510 А я тут думал, откроется ли у меня пятое дыхание.
00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:25,870 Мы потолковали.
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:29,120 Ты самая горячая тема в Крапоплисе после оливкового масла.
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,250 Оно восхитительно. Горячее и холодное.
00:14:31,290 --> 00:14:32,460 Перейду прямо к делу.
00:14:32,490 --> 00:14:33,490 Мы захватим замок.
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:35,060 Что мы сделаем?
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,300 У Тирана был шанс.
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,800 Люди хотят новое руководство.
00:14:38,870 --> 00:14:41,270 Моя армия в твоем распоряжении, царь Шлаб.
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:42,380 Если хочешь.
00:14:42,410 --> 00:14:43,410 Что скажешь?
00:14:43,510 --> 00:14:44,550 Что скажу?
00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:45,710 Вы все свихнулись.
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:47,790 Речь идёт о моем сыне.
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:50,060 Твой сын хотел твоего провала.
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,460 И это было весело.
00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:52,930 На районе всё путём.
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:57,170 Подождите, мне начинает казаться, что вы хотите, чтобы я был главным.
00:14:57,270 --> 00:14:58,740 Хотим!
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,480 Возникло недопонимание.
00:15:00,540 --> 00:15:01,710 Я не хочу быть царём.
00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:03,280 И вы этого не хотите.
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:04,390 Ты говоришь мне, чего я хочу?
00:15:06,420 --> 00:15:07,690 Я понял, что происходит.
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:12,516 Ваши тёплые чувства ко мне связаны не столько с тем, что я собой представляю,
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:15,212 сколько с вами самими, а именно, с вашим
00:15:15,217 --> 00:15:18,466 неприятием человека, который указывает вам, что делать.
00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:23,136 Но я олицетворяю ничегонеделание, я ни за что не стою, а значит,
00:15:23,141 --> 00:15:27,900 я предпочёл бы, чтобы Тиран занимался своим делом, а вы занимались своим.
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:32,280 Я понимаю, вы хотите увидеть, как царь падёт. Но у нас всех есть выбор.
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:33,710 Вы против контроля?
00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:36,750 В таком случае забудьте об этой чуши и пейте дальше.
00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:42,330 Или вы всё-таки выберете конфликт, остроту возмездия и постоянно кризиса?
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,560 Постоянный кризис!
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,070 Идём на замок!
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,260 Ты это слышишь? Они штурмуют дворец.
00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:00,560 Они штурмуют дворец.
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,800 Спасибо, КОлакс.
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:05,610 Ты должен быть в первых рядах, защищать меня, а не говорить то, что я и так знаю.
00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:09,520 Я думаю, я служу важной цели здесь, как ваш доверенный новостник.
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:11,350 Вы это видели?
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:12,860 Они требуют вашу голову.
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,990 Иди.
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,000 Молодец, папа.
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,600 Судя по тону ты считаешь это моей виной.
00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:20,510 Это твоя вина. Ты их подтолкнул.
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:21,670 Ничего не делая?
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:22,910 Да.
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,880 Ну, через пару минут они ворвутся сюда, обезглавят тебя
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:28,620 и сделают меня царём, что будет плохо для нас обоих.
00:16:28,650 --> 00:16:30,620 Так что мы в одной лодке.
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:32,060 Ты должен был облажаться.
00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:33,660 Ну извини, что подвёл.
00:16:33,730 --> 00:16:37,340 Я тоже хотел бы бездельничать, как ты, но я не могу.
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:38,540 И я завидую.
00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:40,480 У меня нет того, что есть у тебя.
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:42,980 Зато есть то, чего у меня нет. Ты был прав.
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:46,620 Мне сходит с рук безделье только благодаря таким как ты.
00:16:46,690 --> 00:16:48,190 Ну, кто-то же должен.
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:49,400 Кто-то должен был главным.
00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:50,700 Согласен.
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:55,410 Нужен кто-то, на кого они кричат, на кого жалуются, над чьей плоской задницей смеются.
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,740 Что они делают?
00:16:56,810 --> 00:16:58,250 Сейчас не до твоей задницы.
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,550 Они штурмуют замок.
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:02,420 В общем, им всегда нужно кого-то не любить.
00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:03,590 Это из забава.
00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:04,830 Точно.
00:17:04,860 --> 00:17:06,530 Папа, я сделаю объявление.
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:10,000 Можешь убедить их не убивать меня сразу и выслушать?
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:13,440 Думаю, я достаточно им для этого нравлюсь.
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:14,710 Здорово.
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:16,420 Никогда не бывал в таких местах.
00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:19,090 Всегда пролетал мимо и никогда не заглядывал внутрь.
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,930 Мама, преврати нас обратно.
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:23,730 Если признаешь, что быть родителем это мучение.
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,100 Вы, ребята, местные?
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,200 Я не видел вас в своей стае.
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,040 О, извини, что ты на полдня ощутила материнскую любовь.
00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:32,720 - Против своей воли. - А мне каково было?
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:34,490 Эй, как думаете, что будет?
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,490 Ты умрёшь.
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,760 Что?
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:39,130 Нет, нет. Нет, нет, нет, нет.
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,200 Отпусти!
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:44,310 Ты скорее умрёшь, чем освободишь нас?
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:46,740 О, я не умру.
00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:48,750 О боже, что происходит?
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:52,190 Я богиня Делирия, вот что происходит.
00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:54,230 Истинный облик.
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:55,530 Один момент.
00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:56,970 Истинный облик.
00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:59,900 О, богиня Делирия, прости меня.
00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:02,340 Я приму любое твое наказание.
00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:04,310 Принеси мне жертву.
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,810 Серьёзно?
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,860 Если жертвовать собой ради других это такая радость, то наслаждайся.
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:13,100 Ладно, я согласна. Безусловная любовь это мучение.
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,870 Спасибо.
00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:20,710 Это действительно мучение.
00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:24,020 Как вы смертные это делаете?
00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:25,590 Ах да.
00:18:25,650 --> 00:18:29,960 Поскольку ты чуть не убил меня, сделаем так.
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,410 Эй!
00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:35,440 Эй!
00:18:35,470 --> 00:18:37,310 Эй, эй, эй!
00:18:40,450 --> 00:18:41,650 Взять его!
00:18:41,690 --> 00:18:43,390 Стойте, стойте. Я теперь царь.
00:18:43,460 --> 00:18:44,760 Совсем ненадолго.
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:47,000 Это не так работает, но продолжай.
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,480 И хотя мне неприятно что-то кому-то приказывать,
00:18:49,866 --> 00:18:52,810 я приказываю вам выслушать Тирана.
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,450 Спасибо, отец.
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:58,590 КОлакс, ты с ними?
00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:01,090 Я понял, куда дует ветер.
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:02,030 Гиппо?
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,700 Я делаю то, что приходится делать.
00:19:04,730 --> 00:19:06,640 Потому до сих пор и жив.
00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:09,133 Ладно, слушайте. Я указываю людям, что делать,
00:19:09,138 --> 00:19:11,710 потому что хочу, чтобы все в обществе жили лучше.
00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:13,320 А вы меня за это ненавидите.
00:19:13,350 --> 00:19:16,120 Конечно, на самом деле вы ненавидите не меня.
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,830 На моем месте мог быть любой.
00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:19,160 Мы бы не ненавидели Шлаба.
00:19:19,230 --> 00:19:21,930 - Но кого-то ненавидели бы. - Да, тебя.
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,770 И вновь, речь не обо мне, а о том, кто отдаёт приказы.
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,415 Итак, для тех, кто хочет, чтобы дела были сделаны,
00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:30,899 для тех, кто хочет, чтобы людей оставили в покое,
00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:36,866 и для тех, кто хочет видеть вражду этих двух групп, я представляю местное правительство.
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:41,785 С этого момента город будет разделён на маленькие районные царства,
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:45,831 представители которых будут спорить, спорить и спорить о чём угодно,
00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:48,666 пока народ наблюдает, осуждает и наслаждается этим.
00:19:49,050 --> 00:19:51,030 Как представители избираются?
00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:53,360 Вот, уже есть о чём поспорить.
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,730 Я не хочу маленькое районное царство.
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,570 Все вопросы к местному советнику.
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,210 - Кто это? - Тебе решать.
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,480 - Нет, не мне. - И не мне тоже.
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:02,920 Ну, кто-то должен.
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,920 Мы об этом голосовали?
00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:07,330 Кто-то объявлял о решении?
00:20:07,390 --> 00:20:09,000 Я не слышала.
00:20:09,060 --> 00:20:10,030 Нет. Нет.
00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:11,900 - Мы не... - Ну надо же.
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:13,940 - Тебе удалось. - Я им нравлюсь?
00:20:14,010 --> 00:20:16,280 Нет, они просто отвлеклись от ненависти к тебе.
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,440 Тоже хорошо.
00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:21,420 Не стесняйтесь.
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,160 Новый мост полностью безопасен.
00:20:23,190 --> 00:20:25,690 Ты абсолютно уверен, что этот не рухнет?
00:20:25,730 --> 00:20:26,830 Увереннее некуда.
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,500 Ты говорил так же о прошлом.
00:20:28,530 --> 00:20:32,710 Если ты будешь попрекать меня прошлым, то я даже не знаю, что тебе и сказать.
00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:33,940 Ладно, ладно.
00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:36,850 Хочешь, чтобы я сказал, что было глупо строить мост из грязи?
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,220 Нет же, нет.
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:41,030 Я использовал знания, которые у меня тогда были.
00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:43,555 Я посмотрел на грязь и подумал: ну, она подходит для хижин,
00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:47,133 для покрытия стен, для крыш, даже для печей.
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,470 Я делал печи из грязи.
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:49,640 Никто не мог знать.
00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:52,750 Кладёшь ее, даёшь высохнуть, и она твердеет, как камень.
00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:55,390 И я еще подумал: к тому же она взята из реки.
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:56,420 Здравая логика.
00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:57,790 Это имело смысл.
00:20:57,860 --> 00:21:00,660 Моей ошибкой было не учесть влажность.
00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,100 Ключ в этом, да?
00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:06,580 Поэтому я спросил себя: что может очень быстро намокнуть и высохнуть?
00:21:06,610 --> 00:21:08,010 - И меня озарило. - О нет.
00:21:08,050 --> 00:21:09,420 Песок!
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:13,960 Паскуда ты!
00:21:14,030 --> 00:21:16,200 Нам не нужен мост.

00:00:01,604 --> 00:00:03,106 - Help me! - Help me!
00:00:03,106 --> 00:00:04,275 - Over here! - Help!
00:00:04,275 --> 00:00:05,679 I'm doing the best I can.
00:00:05,679 --> 00:00:08,016 If you just grab this branch, I can pull you out.
00:00:08,016 --> 00:00:09,653 And let go of the water?
00:00:09,653 --> 00:00:10,789 That's a death sentence!
00:00:10,789 --> 00:00:11,958 What's going on?
00:00:12,058 --> 00:00:13,293 What isn't?
00:00:13,293 --> 00:00:15,130 We've got locusts eating our crops.
00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:16,567 Our grave-digger died, so he was just sitting there.
00:00:16,567 --> 00:00:19,238 There's a bat infestation in the cheese cave.
00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:21,009 The fire-breathing orcs are back.
00:00:21,009 --> 00:00:22,311 And now the bridge has collapsed.
00:00:22,311 --> 00:00:24,348 I was so preoccupied with whether I could
00:00:24,348 --> 00:00:26,153 build a bridge out of mud, I didn't
00:00:26,153 --> 00:00:27,823 stop to think if I should.
00:00:27,823 --> 00:00:29,091 Stop wallowing, Simon.
00:00:29,091 --> 00:00:30,494 We can do the post mortem later.
00:00:30,494 --> 00:00:32,331 Sounds like you're ready to condemn the guy!
00:00:32,331 --> 00:00:35,204 Ultimately, isn't this your responsibility?
00:00:35,204 --> 00:00:36,874 I'm just trying to save you.
00:00:36,874 --> 00:00:38,043 Save me?
00:00:38,043 --> 00:00:41,216 Or save your precious reputation?
00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:43,119 All right, what do we got? Bridge collapse?
00:00:43,219 --> 00:00:45,056 I need rope, rescue dog, swimmers,
00:00:45,056 --> 00:00:46,359 and anything that floats.
00:00:46,359 --> 00:00:48,063 And, Hippo, I'll take some of that tea
00:00:48,163 --> 00:00:49,699 you make out of coffee beans.
00:00:49,699 --> 00:00:50,467 On it.
00:00:50,568 --> 00:00:51,837 Stup, whatever you're doing, drop it.
00:00:51,837 --> 00:00:53,073 No, Mother.
00:00:53,073 --> 00:00:54,809 Do not take Stupendous away right now.
00:00:54,809 --> 00:00:56,379 She is saving people's lives.
00:00:56,379 --> 00:00:58,483 Wrong, she's just changing their death dates.
00:00:58,483 --> 00:01:00,721 I need her for something far more important.
00:01:00,721 --> 00:01:02,124 Mom, no.
00:01:02,124 --> 00:01:03,494 I told you I don't like being turned into a--
00:01:03,494 --> 00:01:04,229 quack!
00:01:04,229 --> 00:01:05,431 What could be more important
00:01:05,431 --> 00:01:07,636 that also requires my sister to be a goose?
00:01:07,636 --> 00:01:10,073 Well, whenever Athena gets a new temple,
00:01:10,073 --> 00:01:11,978 Stupendous and I become geese so we
00:01:11,978 --> 00:01:13,346 can go and defecate on it.
00:01:13,346 --> 00:01:16,018 It's a fun way for me to bond with my favorite child.
00:01:16,018 --> 00:01:18,090 Great unnecessary burn, Mother.
00:01:18,090 --> 00:01:19,091 Can anyone help me?
00:01:19,091 --> 00:01:20,728 Anyone at all?
00:01:20,728 --> 00:01:21,864 Dad, good, you're here.
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:22,866 Do you see this?
00:01:22,866 --> 00:01:23,935 See what's happening here?
00:01:23,935 --> 00:01:25,137 There's no olive oil.
00:01:25,237 --> 00:01:26,874 What am I supposed to dip my bread in?
00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:28,243 Oh my God, help.
00:01:28,243 --> 00:01:29,980 Thank you, I do need help.
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,583 Dad, rope, rope-- ah!
00:01:31,583 --> 00:01:33,453 Are you happy? You could have saved her.
00:01:33,453 --> 00:01:34,923 Well, as far as we know, she's
00:01:34,923 --> 00:01:36,392 living happily downstream now.
00:01:36,392 --> 00:01:38,196 If you need me, I'll be at the bar.
00:01:38,196 --> 00:01:39,231 I need you.
00:01:39,231 --> 00:01:41,002 And I'll be at the bar.
00:01:41,002 --> 00:01:42,271 [sheep bleats]
00:01:42,271 --> 00:01:45,612 <i>[dramatic lyre music]</i>
00:01:45,612 --> 00:01:52,592 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:02:08,323 --> 00:02:10,393 OK, one chicken for you.
00:02:10,393 --> 00:02:13,266 That's the standard payment for the loss of a loved one.
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:15,303 Wait a minute, you didn't lose a loved one.
00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:16,740 So I don't deserve a chicken?
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:18,209 Son, a word.
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:19,378 What is it?
00:02:19,378 --> 00:02:21,182 Just circling back on the olive oil.
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,586 Dad, I'm incredibly busy.
00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:25,290 I know that's an alien concept for you,
00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:27,328 but I'm dealing with a million crises at the moment
00:02:27,328 --> 00:02:30,200 and olive oil is not at the top of the list.
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,937 Yeah, but people love olive oil.
00:02:31,937 --> 00:02:33,206 I have to warn you, son.
00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:35,110 The folks down at the bar are not exactly writing
00:02:35,110 --> 00:02:36,947 you love songs as it is.
00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:38,249 Oh, the bar.
00:02:38,249 --> 00:02:40,421 Yes, well, I suppose you'd be the expert on that.
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:42,057 I'm not sure about expert.
00:02:42,057 --> 00:02:43,459 More of an amateur.
00:02:43,459 --> 00:02:45,866 But why not throw them a bone, son?
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,067 It's just olive oil.
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,169 It's work to get olive oil, Dad.
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,606 It's work to get anything.
00:02:49,606 --> 00:02:51,275 Well, that has not been my experience.
00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:53,346 Of course it hasn't, because I do all the work.
00:02:53,346 --> 00:02:54,950 You see, that attitude may play
00:02:54,950 --> 00:02:56,820 a part in your unpopularity.
00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:57,889 Am I unpop--
00:02:57,889 --> 00:02:58,925 all right, you know what, Dad?
00:02:59,025 --> 00:03:01,129 You want olive oil, you're in charge of olive oil.
00:03:01,129 --> 00:03:02,364 There's a trade meeting tomorrow.
00:03:02,364 --> 00:03:03,601 Why don't you handle it?
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,939 I like to try new things now and again.
00:03:05,939 --> 00:03:07,642 Happy to give it a go.
00:03:07,743 --> 00:03:09,680 That was a weird move putting Dad in charge of olive oil.
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,984 I mean, I get it it's not a huge priority,
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,220 but I do want olive oil.
00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:14,890 Of course you do. Everyone does.
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,492 I want olive oil.
00:03:16,492 --> 00:03:18,664 But either Dad pulls it off, in which case, great, olive oil.
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:22,037 Or, and let's be honest, this is what's going to happen,
00:03:22,037 --> 00:03:23,674 we're no worse off than we started.
00:03:23,674 --> 00:03:27,381 And he's actually had to face a reality that things take work.
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:29,853 Huh, wow, I got to hand it to you, brother.
00:03:29,853 --> 00:03:30,822 That was well played.
00:03:30,822 --> 00:03:31,757 Why, thank you.
00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:33,827 You know, what you got there is a win-win.
00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:34,897 Win-win.
00:03:34,897 --> 00:03:36,365 Huh, I like that.
00:03:36,365 --> 00:03:37,903 Did you just make it up? - Yeah.
00:03:37,903 --> 00:03:39,138 I mean, not just.
00:03:39,138 --> 00:03:40,307 I've been workshopping it.
00:03:40,407 --> 00:03:42,946 It's like a win on the one side and a win on the other.
00:03:42,946 --> 00:03:47,021 Almost like an object, like a perfectly balanced object.
00:03:47,021 --> 00:03:49,058 Whoever wins, we win.
00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:51,129 Win or also win.
00:03:51,129 --> 00:03:53,166 I said I workshopped it already.
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,170 Did you eat enough berries?
00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:57,542 Athena has quite a few temples to poop on,
00:03:57,542 --> 00:03:59,245 and you wouldn't want to run out.
00:03:59,245 --> 00:04:01,182 Yes, Mom. I got enough berries.
00:04:01,182 --> 00:04:03,019 Could you stop running my entire life
00:04:03,019 --> 00:04:04,255 down to the food in my belly?
00:04:04,255 --> 00:04:06,493 Oh, come on, you love this.
00:04:06,493 --> 00:04:08,697 No, I don't. I had stuff I wanted to do.
00:04:08,697 --> 00:04:11,504 Well, you're my daughter, which means you work for me.
00:04:11,504 --> 00:04:13,908 all: Rock, rock, rock, rock!
00:04:13,908 --> 00:04:15,044 Rock, rock?
00:04:15,044 --> 00:04:17,248 What are they saying?
00:04:17,248 --> 00:04:18,316 Ugh.
00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:21,021 - Mom! - [screaming]
00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:22,357 Mom, are you OK?
00:04:22,357 --> 00:04:24,195 [dog barking]
00:04:24,195 --> 00:04:26,132 Ah!
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:28,003 No, no! - Get off, you--
00:04:28,003 --> 00:04:29,171 Ow, ugh!
00:04:29,171 --> 00:04:30,407 Why didn't you zap him?
00:04:30,407 --> 00:04:32,278 Was this some kind of game for you?
00:04:32,278 --> 00:04:33,748 Zap him?
00:04:33,748 --> 00:04:36,185 Yeah, why didn't you zap him and turn back into yourself?
00:04:36,185 --> 00:04:37,188 Myself?
00:04:37,188 --> 00:04:38,290 I am myself.
00:04:38,290 --> 00:04:39,760 Stop playing, Mom.
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,933 I don't understand what you are saying right now.
00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:44,201 Oh, wow.
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,039 So you really think you're a goose?
00:04:46,039 --> 00:04:47,207 What else would I be?
00:04:47,207 --> 00:04:48,544 OK, just going to check.
00:04:48,544 --> 00:04:52,351 If I say Deliria is a weak little stinky butt who
00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:54,422 bosses people around because she's insecure,
00:04:54,422 --> 00:04:56,058 your response is what?
00:04:56,058 --> 00:04:57,461 What is Deliria?
00:04:57,461 --> 00:04:59,298 - Oh, man. - There they are!
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,400 Good boy.
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,204 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:05:02,204 --> 00:05:05,879 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
00:05:05,879 --> 00:05:07,381 [groans]
00:05:07,381 --> 00:05:09,819 Oh, good-- good morning, Kolax.
00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:13,392 Have you been standing there long or--
00:05:13,392 --> 00:05:15,263 I have the daily disasters, Your Highness.
00:05:15,263 --> 00:05:16,465 You wish to be briefed?
00:05:16,465 --> 00:05:17,969 Oh, yes. Good, good.
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:21,475 The sinkhole now has birthed a second sinkhole.
00:05:21,576 --> 00:05:24,616 And the grain storage is now the rotten grain storage.
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:27,088 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But let's start with olive oil.
00:05:27,088 --> 00:05:28,557 Give me dessert first.
00:05:28,557 --> 00:05:30,595 Olive oil is actually the one thing that's gone right.
00:05:30,595 --> 00:05:32,732 I'm sorry, gone right? As in--
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,168 It's been running very smoothly
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,039 since you put your father in charge, Your Highness.
00:05:36,039 --> 00:05:37,207 [growls]
00:05:37,207 --> 00:05:39,813 And it makes me so mad.
00:05:39,813 --> 00:05:41,248 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:05:41,248 --> 00:05:43,353 And that, my good friend, is how you
00:05:43,353 --> 00:05:45,156 get kicked out of Gomorrah.
00:05:45,156 --> 00:05:47,127 [laughing]
00:05:47,127 --> 00:05:49,064 What is this? What's happened?
00:05:49,064 --> 00:05:51,135 Ah, son, want some olive oil?
00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:52,404 We've got plenty.
00:05:52,404 --> 00:05:54,275 How-- how did you manage to get olive oil?
00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:56,478 It's really hard to get.
00:05:56,478 --> 00:05:58,717 I mean, not always that hard.
00:05:58,717 --> 00:06:02,124 It's often very easy, but how did you do it?
00:06:02,124 --> 00:06:03,594 Well, I missed that trade meeting
00:06:03,594 --> 00:06:06,700 you wanted me to go to, so I came here for a drink
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,238 and ran into this ugly son of a bitch
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:10,941 who had a ton of the stuff.
00:06:10,941 --> 00:06:12,512 This guy! [laughs]
00:06:12,512 --> 00:06:14,481 The cannibal chief who wants to eat us.
00:06:14,481 --> 00:06:15,885 If you could look past the cannibal part,
00:06:15,885 --> 00:06:19,593 you'd see a human being, who eats human beings
00:06:19,593 --> 00:06:21,563 with olive oil that I share.
00:06:21,563 --> 00:06:23,466 Well, it's all making sense now.
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,869 That's the Shlub way--
00:06:24,869 --> 00:06:27,074 blunder into a situation where someone
00:06:27,074 --> 00:06:28,410 just gives you what you need.
00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,447 If by blunder you mean get along with people
00:06:30,447 --> 00:06:32,652 well enough that they like you and want to help.
00:06:32,652 --> 00:06:34,422 Yeah. Why are you picking on Shlub?
00:06:34,422 --> 00:06:35,791 If I may,
00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:38,296 it's this insistence on telling people what to do
00:06:38,296 --> 00:06:39,599 that makes them not like you.
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,302 - They do like me. - Uh--
00:06:41,302 --> 00:06:43,406 Shut up, Miriam. You've got an agenda.
00:06:43,406 --> 00:06:45,410 And did you put the chicken in the baby carriage?
00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:47,515 What of it?
00:06:47,515 --> 00:06:49,853 You know what, who cares what the citizens like.
00:06:49,853 --> 00:06:50,554 [all booing]
00:06:50,554 --> 00:06:51,590 - Ouch. - Mm-mm.
00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:55,430 You just like lounging about in bars doing nothing.
00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:57,602 But to do that, somebody needs to be doing work.
00:06:57,602 --> 00:06:59,673 And until you all start doing it voluntarily,
00:06:59,673 --> 00:07:00,941 you're going to need to be told to.
00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:04,015 And if that's unpopular, then perhaps popularity
00:07:04,015 --> 00:07:05,249 itself is a problem.
00:07:05,249 --> 00:07:06,553 What's the word I'm looking for?
00:07:06,553 --> 00:07:10,293 It's right on the tip of my-- oh, right, boo!
00:07:10,293 --> 00:07:12,431 [all booing]
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:15,037 Why don't you get out of here, you big weenie?
00:07:15,037 --> 00:07:16,339 Yeah, get out of here.
00:07:16,339 --> 00:07:17,842 We hate you!
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,552 Great job on the olive oil, Shlub.
00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:24,488 - Yeah! - Whoo-hoo!
00:07:24,589 --> 00:07:25,825 [laughter] - My man, Shlub.
00:07:25,825 --> 00:07:27,360 Guess it wasn't a win-win after all.
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,731 Yes, it was. It was.
00:07:28,731 --> 00:07:31,268 It's just one of the wins didn't wind up feeling quite
00:07:31,268 --> 00:07:32,838 as winny as the other one.
00:07:32,838 --> 00:07:34,710 Still smarting from getting thrown out of the tavern?
00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:36,312 I wasn't thrown out.
00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:37,682 Not bodily.
00:07:37,682 --> 00:07:39,552 It's not like I was picked up and thrown.
00:07:39,552 --> 00:07:40,688 I was pushed.
00:07:40,688 --> 00:07:42,692 My feet never left the ground.
00:07:42,692 --> 00:07:47,234 Or-- yes, they did, but only for a moment.
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,604 If I'm being honest, I--
00:07:48,604 --> 00:07:50,975 I really wanted to see Dad fail.
00:07:51,075 --> 00:07:51,710 I know.
00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:53,012 That would have been awesome!
00:07:53,012 --> 00:07:54,683 The guy waltzes through life drinking
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,352 and telling his dumb stories, just getting
00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:57,788 everything handed to him.
00:07:57,788 --> 00:08:00,227 Meanwhile, guys like us who do all the work
00:08:00,227 --> 00:08:02,097 get treated like crap.
00:08:02,097 --> 00:08:03,065 Thank you.
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:06,172 [sighs] I guess that's just the way it is.
00:08:06,172 --> 00:08:07,909 Not necessarily.
00:08:07,909 --> 00:08:10,948 What if letting other people do the work is the power move?
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:13,621 Look at Mom, she has all the power in the relationship,
00:08:13,621 --> 00:08:15,558 and she does nothing.
00:08:15,558 --> 00:08:17,929 What if that's the secret?
00:08:17,929 --> 00:08:20,801 Dad, once again, great work on the olive oil.
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:22,671 Well, I had fun doing it.
00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:24,710 So I'm not sure I'd call it work.
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:25,645 Yes.
00:08:25,645 --> 00:08:27,682 So we were thinking, what if you
00:08:27,682 --> 00:08:29,552 took on more responsibilities?
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,556 Well, as long as responsibilities continue
00:08:31,556 --> 00:08:34,061 to be no more demanding than no responsibilities,
00:08:34,061 --> 00:08:35,397 I'd be happy to.
00:08:35,397 --> 00:08:36,833 What did you have in mind?
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,038 Well, that sinkhole for starters.
00:08:39,038 --> 00:08:40,306 [yelps]
00:08:40,306 --> 00:08:41,576 And produce.
00:08:41,576 --> 00:08:43,947 As you can see, the figs are a bit recycled.
00:08:43,947 --> 00:08:45,851 There's still the bat infestation
00:08:45,851 --> 00:08:48,256 and the fire-breathing orcs to deal with.
00:08:48,256 --> 00:08:49,926 Oh, my sheep!
00:08:49,926 --> 00:08:53,132 And any other dispute, shortages, or avoidable deaths
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:54,067 that happen today.
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,071 Everyone, from now on, the sinkhole, produce,
00:08:56,071 --> 00:08:59,746 bat infestation, and orcs will be handled by the eminently
00:08:59,746 --> 00:09:02,017 competent and capable Shlub.
00:09:02,017 --> 00:09:02,919 [cheering]
00:09:02,919 --> 00:09:05,390 Give me your full name so it's official.
00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:07,729 Shlubrick Michael [bleep].
00:09:07,729 --> 00:09:09,298 That's a joke, right?
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:10,601 Swear to God.
00:09:10,601 --> 00:09:14,475 Shlubrick Michael [bleep], our new sinkhole,
00:09:14,475 --> 00:09:18,083 produce, bat, and orc czar.
00:09:18,083 --> 00:09:20,854 [cheering]
00:09:20,854 --> 00:09:22,625 Hey, you know they're setting you up for failure, right?
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:23,661 Tyrannis?
00:09:23,761 --> 00:09:25,163 He wouldn't do that.
00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:27,735 Uh, they're not exactly being candid about it.
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,505 Ty wants you to eat crap, which is
00:09:29,605 --> 00:09:30,908 not a great look for a king.
00:09:30,908 --> 00:09:33,681 Huh, well, maybe he'll get what he wants.
00:09:33,681 --> 00:09:36,152 I'm certainly not going to fill in a sinkhole.
00:09:36,152 --> 00:09:36,920 Who wants a drink?
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,358 To failure! all: To failure!
00:09:39,458 --> 00:09:40,595 No, you know what?
00:09:40,595 --> 00:09:41,797 If you're failing means he wins,
00:09:41,797 --> 00:09:43,099 I'm not going to let it happen.
00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:44,836 Plus, you're such a chill guy, I don't
00:09:44,836 --> 00:09:46,439 mind lifting a shovel for you.
00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:47,641 I'll fill that sinkhole.
00:09:47,641 --> 00:09:48,643 Well, I'll-- I'll help too.
00:09:48,643 --> 00:09:49,612 Yeah, me too.
00:09:49,612 --> 00:09:50,614 For Shlub.
00:09:50,614 --> 00:09:52,551 all: For Shlub!
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:54,254 So you don't remember when I was 3
00:09:54,254 --> 00:09:56,593 and you got sick of waiting for me to be grown up
00:09:56,593 --> 00:09:58,496 so you left me to be raised by fire ants?
00:09:58,496 --> 00:09:59,766 No.
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:00,902 You don't remember when you offered to trade
00:10:00,902 --> 00:10:02,505 me to Hestia for a necklace?
00:10:02,505 --> 00:10:04,609 That doesn't sound very nice.
00:10:04,609 --> 00:10:06,813 You don't remember throwing me at a bear?
00:10:06,813 --> 00:10:08,349 Oh, now you're making this up.
00:10:08,349 --> 00:10:11,255 Mom, I'm going to try something to jog your memory.
00:10:11,255 --> 00:10:12,323 Don't be mad.
00:10:12,323 --> 00:10:13,828 [groaning]
00:10:13,828 --> 00:10:14,696 Ow.
00:10:14,696 --> 00:10:16,265 Now why would you do that?
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:17,333 It had a 50-50 chance.
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:20,373 Oh, wait, maybe you can just zap without remembering.
00:10:20,373 --> 00:10:21,441 Try this.
00:10:21,441 --> 00:10:23,279 And zap, zap.
00:10:23,279 --> 00:10:24,247 Come on, concentrate.
00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:25,884 Think of whatever you usually think of when
00:10:25,884 --> 00:10:27,454 you know you're a goddess.
00:10:27,454 --> 00:10:28,690 Zap.
00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:30,460 You keep saying that word, "goddess."
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:31,530 Yeah, because you are one.
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,932 I don't know what that is.
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,401 But I know what a mother is.
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:37,708 A mother is loving and kind and takes care of her children.
00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:39,746 In what world is that true?
00:10:39,746 --> 00:10:41,683 Well, I'm sure if I remembered your childhood,
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,654 I would remember warming you up at night
00:10:43,654 --> 00:10:45,858 and feeding you and teaching you to fly
00:10:45,858 --> 00:10:47,662 and protecting you from danger, because that
00:10:47,662 --> 00:10:48,864 is what a mother does.
00:10:48,864 --> 00:10:50,902 Yeah, a mother goose.
00:10:50,902 --> 00:10:52,738 Huh, maybe this is it.
00:10:52,738 --> 00:10:54,408 Maybe I just take the win right here,
00:10:54,408 --> 00:10:56,980 get myself four or five years living with a good mom,
00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:59,317 and then we both get killed or eaten.
00:10:59,317 --> 00:11:00,119 I don't hate it.
00:11:00,219 --> 00:11:03,393 Oh, sit and let me make you a nest.
00:11:03,493 --> 00:11:05,798 <i>[soft music]</i>
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,002 You know what, I'm not going to feel the slightest bit
00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:09,572 guilty that we made Dad fail.
00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:10,641 It was a lesson he needed to learn.
00:11:10,641 --> 00:11:12,144 Absolutely.
00:11:12,144 --> 00:11:14,582 This is the kind of win-win situation I was talking about,
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,085 one where there's only one win.
00:11:16,085 --> 00:11:18,489 Wait a minute, the sinkhole is filled in.
00:11:18,489 --> 00:11:20,360 The bats and orcs are gone.
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:21,461 Figs?
00:11:21,461 --> 00:11:22,899 [laughter]
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:25,604 Well, I was so drunk, I crashed right
00:11:25,604 --> 00:11:27,808 into this huge statue of a sphinx,
00:11:27,808 --> 00:11:30,179 broke her face penis clean off.
00:11:30,179 --> 00:11:32,551 [laughter]
00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,354 Uh-oh, boss man's here.
00:11:34,354 --> 00:11:35,624 Everybody look busy.
00:11:35,624 --> 00:11:36,760 [all booing]
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:37,929 There you are, son.
00:11:37,929 --> 00:11:40,433 Good news-- somehow it all got done.
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,237 Sinkhole, orcs, bats.
00:11:42,337 --> 00:11:44,643 I didn't even ask. - He didn't have to.
00:11:44,643 --> 00:11:45,945 We like him.
00:11:45,945 --> 00:11:47,748 Oh, and this old goat lover has
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,686 granted us 100 years peace.
00:11:49,686 --> 00:11:50,822 You're the goat lover.
00:11:50,822 --> 00:11:52,357 It's never for love.
00:11:52,357 --> 00:11:54,394 [laughter]
00:11:54,394 --> 00:11:55,396 Wait.
00:11:55,564 --> 00:11:58,102 So everyone here just busted their asses for my dad?
00:11:58,102 --> 00:12:00,742 But when I ask you to do something, I'm the bad guy?
00:12:00,742 --> 00:12:01,844 We don't like you.
00:12:01,944 --> 00:12:03,012 Anyone can do what he does.
00:12:03,012 --> 00:12:04,916 He drinks and insults people.
00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:06,653 Hey, big nose, how's it hanging?
00:12:06,653 --> 00:12:08,255 Oh, there goes dogbreath.
00:12:08,255 --> 00:12:11,261 Crazy chicken mom over there with her chicken baby.
00:12:11,261 --> 00:12:12,197 Over the line.
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:15,069 I'm just doing what he does, just goofing around.
00:12:15,069 --> 00:12:17,274 It sure as hell didn't feel like goofing around.
00:12:17,274 --> 00:12:19,612 I did what my dumb father always does.
00:12:19,612 --> 00:12:20,915 Now you're insulting my friend?
00:12:20,915 --> 00:12:22,818 Oh, come on, you're not even friends.
00:12:22,818 --> 00:12:24,154 You only like him when you're drunk.
00:12:24,154 --> 00:12:26,793 Now our drinking is up for discussion?
00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:28,731 You are absolutely the worst.
00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:30,233 I'll tell you what I see.
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:31,903 I'm looking around and I see a city that works a whole lot
00:12:31,903 --> 00:12:33,707 better when Shlub's in charge.
00:12:33,707 --> 00:12:34,976 I'm failing upward.
00:12:34,976 --> 00:12:36,178 Well, I'm looking at a bunch of people
00:12:36,278 --> 00:12:39,586 who got suckered into doing a lot of work for a drunk guy.
00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:40,588 <i>[ominous music]</i>
00:12:40,588 --> 00:12:42,558 [chicken clucking]
00:12:42,558 --> 00:12:43,793 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:12:43,793 --> 00:12:45,129 You don't have to throw me out.
00:12:45,129 --> 00:12:46,499 I'll just go.
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:47,868 I'm going, I said.
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,739 <i>[soft music]</i>
00:12:49,839 --> 00:12:52,778 [both laughing]
00:12:52,778 --> 00:12:56,953 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:12:56,953 --> 00:13:00,059 Hey, Mom, for old time's sake?
00:13:00,059 --> 00:13:07,173 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:13:10,514 --> 00:13:11,481 Hm.
00:13:11,481 --> 00:13:12,618 Athena's temple.
00:13:12,618 --> 00:13:13,687 Athena?
00:13:13,687 --> 00:13:14,856 Oh, that sounds familiar.
00:13:14,856 --> 00:13:15,858 Oh, no, it's nothing.
00:13:15,858 --> 00:13:16,960 Forget I said it.
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,897 Athena's just a dumb word.
00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:21,301 Yes, we were flying there, but why?
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,072 No reason. We got to relocate.
00:13:23,072 --> 00:13:24,240 There's a better lake over there.
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,579 Let's go. - Oh, wait, I remember.
00:13:26,579 --> 00:13:28,517 No, don't remember now.
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:29,685 Remember later.
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,623 Just stay dumb a little longer.
00:13:31,623 --> 00:13:35,463 I am Deliria, the goddess.
00:13:35,463 --> 00:13:36,399 Damn it.
00:13:36,499 --> 00:13:38,202 And you didn't want me to remember that.
00:13:38,202 --> 00:13:39,906 You were going to keep that from me.
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,843 Just for a couple of days or years.
00:13:41,843 --> 00:13:44,114 I'm going through hell as a goose.
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:46,753 I worried about you, I doted on you.
00:13:46,753 --> 00:13:48,657 I built you a nest.
00:13:48,657 --> 00:13:49,926 It's called parenting.
00:13:49,926 --> 00:13:51,529 It's called torture.
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:54,569 The unconditional love, the feeling that I would rather
00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:56,038 die than see you harmed?
00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,510 I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
00:13:58,510 --> 00:13:59,679 You're being dramatic.
00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:01,482 I'm allowed to be dramatic.
00:14:01,482 --> 00:14:03,085 True form.
00:14:04,689 --> 00:14:06,526 True form.
00:14:06,526 --> 00:14:07,628 True form!
00:14:07,628 --> 00:14:09,497 Ow!
00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:13,039 ♪ If you show me a woman ♪
00:14:13,039 --> 00:14:15,276 ♪ A man or a beast ♪
00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:20,186 ♪ I'll show you a delectable sexual feast ♪
00:14:20,186 --> 00:14:22,090 Ah, I was just wondering whether I
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:24,061 might pull off a fifth wind.
00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:25,429 Yeah, we've been talking.
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:26,833 You're the hottest thing in Krapopolis
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,670 since, well, olive oil.
00:14:28,670 --> 00:14:29,772 It is delicious.
00:14:29,772 --> 00:14:30,808 Hot and cold.
00:14:30,808 --> 00:14:32,010 I'll cut to the chase.
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,045 We're going to storm the castle.
00:14:33,045 --> 00:14:34,615 We're going to do what?
00:14:34,615 --> 00:14:35,851 Tyrannis had his chance.
00:14:35,851 --> 00:14:38,356 The people want new management.
00:14:38,356 --> 00:14:40,828 My army is at your disposal, King Shlub.
00:14:40,828 --> 00:14:41,930 If you want it, that is.
00:14:41,930 --> 00:14:42,965 What do you say?
00:14:43,065 --> 00:14:44,101 What do I say?
00:14:44,101 --> 00:14:45,269 I say you're all nuts.
00:14:45,269 --> 00:14:47,340 That's my son you're talking about.
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:49,612 Come on, your son wanted you to fail.
00:14:49,612 --> 00:14:51,015 And I had a blast doing it.
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,484 All good in the hood.
00:14:52,484 --> 00:14:55,056 Wait, hold on, it's beginning to seem like you actually
00:14:55,056 --> 00:14:56,727 want me to be in charge.
00:14:56,827 --> 00:14:58,295 We do. [all cheering]
00:14:58,295 --> 00:15:00,033 There's been a misunderstanding.
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,268 I don't want to be king.
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:02,838 And you don't want that either.
00:15:02,838 --> 00:15:03,940 You telling me what I want?
00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:05,977 [all grumbling]
00:15:05,977 --> 00:15:07,247 I see what's happening here.
00:15:07,247 --> 00:15:09,117 I believe your recent infatuation
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:12,190 with me had less to do with what I represent and more
00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:14,261 to do with your own empowerment,
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:16,766 specifically in opposition to a man who
00:15:16,766 --> 00:15:18,102 wants to tell you what to do.
00:15:18,202 --> 00:15:20,373 But all I represent is nothing, doing nothing,
00:15:20,373 --> 00:15:23,045 standing for nothing, which means I'd rather
00:15:23,146 --> 00:15:25,684 let Tyrannis do his own thing as much
00:15:25,684 --> 00:15:27,454 as I'd rather you do yours.
00:15:27,454 --> 00:15:30,192 I can understand wanting to see a king fall,
00:15:30,192 --> 00:15:31,830 but we all have a choice.
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:33,265 Do you oppose control?
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:35,169 In which case you should forget this nonsense
00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:36,304 and go back to drinking.
00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:38,309 Or do you in the end choose conflict,
00:15:38,309 --> 00:15:41,883 the thrill of retribution and constant crisis?
00:15:41,883 --> 00:15:43,119 Constant crisis!
00:15:43,119 --> 00:15:44,622 Let's storm the castle!
00:15:47,694 --> 00:15:50,935 [all yelling]
00:15:50,935 --> 00:15:53,673 [grunting]
00:15:53,673 --> 00:15:54,909 [sighs]
00:15:54,909 --> 00:15:56,646 [all yelling]
00:15:56,646 --> 00:15:58,817 Do you hear that? They're storming the palace.
00:15:58,817 --> 00:16:00,119 They're storming the palace.
00:16:00,219 --> 00:16:01,355 Yes, thank you, Kolax.
00:16:01,355 --> 00:16:03,358 You should be on the front line protecting me right now
00:16:03,358 --> 00:16:05,163 instead of telling me what I already know.
00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:07,167 I think I serve a vital purpose right
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,070 here as your trusted news guy.
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,908 [chuckles nervously] Oh, did you see this?
00:16:10,908 --> 00:16:12,410 They're calling for your head.
00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:14,549 - Go. - Oh.
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:15,551 Great job, Dad.
00:16:15,751 --> 00:16:18,156 I can tell from your tone you think it's my fault.
00:16:18,156 --> 00:16:20,060 It is your fault. You encouraged them.
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,228 By doing nothing?
00:16:21,228 --> 00:16:22,463 Yes.
00:16:22,463 --> 00:16:24,200 Well, look, in a few minutes, they'll come in here,
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,806 remove your head, and make me king, which will
00:16:26,806 --> 00:16:28,175 be pretty bad for both of us.
00:16:28,175 --> 00:16:30,179 So we're kind of in this together.
00:16:30,179 --> 00:16:31,616 You were supposed to fail.
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,219 Well, I'm sorry I failed you.
00:16:33,219 --> 00:16:35,123 I wish I could get away with doing less like you,
00:16:35,123 --> 00:16:36,893 but I can't and--
00:16:36,893 --> 00:16:38,095 I guess I'm jealous.
00:16:38,095 --> 00:16:40,032 I don't have what you have, Dad.
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,101 Well, you have something I don't.
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,538 You were right.
00:16:42,538 --> 00:16:44,341 I only get away with doing less because people
00:16:44,341 --> 00:16:46,178 like you pick up the slack.
00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:47,748 Well, someone has to pick up the slack.
00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:48,951 Someone has to be in charge.
00:16:48,951 --> 00:16:50,253 I agree.
00:16:50,253 --> 00:16:52,156 Someone has to be the one they yell at,
00:16:52,156 --> 00:16:53,927 the one they complain about, the one whose flat ass
00:16:53,927 --> 00:16:54,962 they make fun of.
00:16:54,962 --> 00:16:56,298 They do what?
00:16:56,298 --> 00:16:57,801 We can't talk about your ass right now.
00:16:57,801 --> 00:16:59,104 They're storming the castle.
00:16:59,104 --> 00:17:01,977 My point is, they always have to dislike someone.
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:03,145 It's sport for them.
00:17:03,145 --> 00:17:04,381 That's it.
00:17:04,381 --> 00:17:06,084 Dad, I want to make an announcement.
00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:07,555 Do you think you could get them to listen
00:17:07,555 --> 00:17:09,559 to me for just a little bit without killing me?
00:17:09,559 --> 00:17:12,998 I think I'm likable enough to pull that off.
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:14,267 Well, this is fun.
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:15,971 Never been in one of these before.
00:17:15,971 --> 00:17:17,107 I always flew over them but never had
00:17:17,107 --> 00:17:18,643 occasion to see the inside.
00:17:18,643 --> 00:17:20,480 Come on, Mom, change us back.
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,083 I will if you admit that parenting
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,285 is a form of torture.
00:17:23,285 --> 00:17:24,655 Are you guys from around here?
00:17:24,655 --> 00:17:26,759 I don't recognize you from my flock echelon.
00:17:26,759 --> 00:17:29,599 Oh, I'm sorry you felt motherly love for half a day.
00:17:29,599 --> 00:17:32,270 - Against my will. - Welcome to the club.
00:17:32,270 --> 00:17:34,041 Hey, what do you guys think happens in here?
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:35,042 You die.
00:17:35,042 --> 00:17:36,311 What?
00:17:36,311 --> 00:17:38,684 No, no. No, no, no, no.
00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:39,752 Get off me!
00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:41,454 Ah!
00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:43,860 You're going to die rather than get us out of this?
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,298 Oh, I won't die.
00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:48,302 Oh my God, what is happening?
00:17:48,302 --> 00:17:51,743 I'm the goddess Deliria, that's what's happening.
00:17:51,743 --> 00:17:53,781 True form.
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,082 Oh, give me a moment.
00:17:55,082 --> 00:17:56,520 True form.
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,458 Oh, goddess Deliria, please forgive me.
00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:01,896 I'll take whatever punishment you demand.
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:03,867 How about a sacrifice?
00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:05,369 Seriously?
00:18:05,369 --> 00:18:07,040 Well, if it's such a joy to give your life for someone
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,410 else, you should love this.
00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:12,651 OK, Mom, I agree, unconditional love is torture.
00:18:12,651 --> 00:18:14,420 Thank you.
00:18:18,095 --> 00:18:20,266 Oh, this really is torture.
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:23,573 I don't know how you mortals do it.
00:18:23,573 --> 00:18:25,143 Oh, yes.
00:18:25,143 --> 00:18:29,518 And since you almost killed me, let's do this.
00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,995 Hey!
00:18:34,995 --> 00:18:36,866 Hey, hey, hey!
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,939 [mob yelling]
00:18:39,939 --> 00:18:41,208 Get him!
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:42,945 Hang on, hang on, I'm king now.
00:18:42,945 --> 00:18:44,314 If only for a moment.
00:18:44,314 --> 00:18:46,552 Not how that works, for the record, but go on.
00:18:46,552 --> 00:18:48,389 And though it pains me to order
00:18:48,389 --> 00:18:52,364 anyone to do anything, I order you to listen to Tyrannis.
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:55,002 Thank you, Father.
00:18:55,102 --> 00:18:58,142 Kolax, you joined them?
00:18:58,142 --> 00:19:00,647 I knew which way the wind was blowing.
00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:01,583 Hippo?
00:19:01,716 --> 00:19:04,254 I didn't get this far by not joining any mobs.
00:19:04,254 --> 00:19:06,191 I do what I have to do.
00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:07,795 OK, listen, I tell people what
00:19:07,795 --> 00:19:11,268 to do because I want society to make everyone's lives better.
00:19:11,268 --> 00:19:12,872 And you all hate me for doing that.
00:19:12,872 --> 00:19:15,677 And of course, I know it's not me you actually hate.
00:19:15,677 --> 00:19:17,380 It would be anyone in my position.
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:18,716 We wouldn't hate Shlub.
00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:21,488 - But you'd hate someone. - Yeah, you.
00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:23,259 Once again, I take that to mean
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:25,329 whoever is giving you orders.
00:19:25,329 --> 00:19:27,668 So for those who want to see things get done,
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,905 those who want to stop people from bothering everyone,
00:19:30,005 --> 00:19:33,279 and those who want to watch those two groups fight,
00:19:33,279 --> 00:19:36,585 I give you local government.
00:19:36,585 --> 00:19:38,656 From now on, the city will be divided
00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:41,529 into tiny little neighborhood kingdoms, where
00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:43,833 representatives of the people can argue and argue
00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:46,471 about anything they like while the actual people
00:19:46,471 --> 00:19:48,543 watch and judge and enjoy.
00:19:48,543 --> 00:19:50,581 So how are the representatives chosen?
00:19:50,681 --> 00:19:52,918 Exactly the kind of thing you can argue about.
00:19:52,918 --> 00:19:55,289 Well, I don't want a little neighborhood kingdom.
00:19:55,289 --> 00:19:57,126 Take it up with your local councilman.
00:19:57,126 --> 00:19:58,763 - Who's that? - You get to decide.
00:19:58,763 --> 00:20:01,034 - Well, it's not me. - It's not me either.
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,470 Well, someone's got to do it.
00:20:02,470 --> 00:20:04,474 Uh, have we voted on that?
00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:06,880 Did anyone make a resolution?
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,550 I didn't hear one.
00:20:08,550 --> 00:20:09,585 No. No.
00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:11,454 We didn't-- - Well, look at that.
00:20:11,454 --> 00:20:13,492 You did it. - They like me?
00:20:13,492 --> 00:20:15,831 No, they're just too distracted to hate you.
00:20:15,831 --> 00:20:16,999 Just as good.
00:20:19,939 --> 00:20:20,974 Come on, don't be shy.
00:20:21,074 --> 00:20:22,711 The new bridge is completely safe.
00:20:22,711 --> 00:20:25,249 You're absolutely certain that this one won't collapse?
00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:26,384 Couldn't be more sure.
00:20:26,384 --> 00:20:28,055 Because you've said that before.
00:20:28,055 --> 00:20:30,594 Look, if this is going to be some relitigation of the past,
00:20:30,594 --> 00:20:32,263 I mean, what do you want me to say?
00:20:32,263 --> 00:20:33,499 OK, all right.
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:34,802 You want me to say that I was stupid?
00:20:34,802 --> 00:20:36,405 That I was dumb to build a bridge out of mud?
00:20:36,405 --> 00:20:37,774 I'm not saying that.
00:20:37,774 --> 00:20:39,611 I used the best information that was available
00:20:39,712 --> 00:20:40,580 to me at the time.
00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:41,682 I looked at mud, and I was like, well,
00:20:41,816 --> 00:20:44,555 that stuff works for huts, it works for covering walls,
00:20:44,555 --> 00:20:46,926 it works for roofs, it even works for ovens.
00:20:46,926 --> 00:20:48,028 I made ovens out of mud.
00:20:48,028 --> 00:20:49,197 No one could have known.
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:52,303 You plop it down, you let it dry, it's as hard as a rock.
00:20:52,303 --> 00:20:53,406 And I was like, well, this stuff
00:20:53,406 --> 00:20:54,942 even comes from the river.
00:20:54,942 --> 00:20:55,978 The logic is sound.
00:20:55,978 --> 00:20:57,347 It made perfect sense.
00:20:57,347 --> 00:21:00,219 My mistake was, I didn't account for wetness.
00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:01,655 That's key, isn't it?
00:21:01,655 --> 00:21:04,928 So I asked myself, what can get wet and then dry
00:21:05,028 --> 00:21:06,131 super fast?
00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:07,568 And it hit me. - Oh, no.
00:21:07,568 --> 00:21:08,970 Sand.
00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:10,239 [chuckles]
00:21:10,239 --> 00:21:11,976 [all shouting]
00:21:11,976 --> 00:21:13,513 You suck, Ty!
00:21:13,513 --> 00:21:15,750 We don't need a bridge.
00:21:16,117 --> 00:21:17,486 <i>Did you get any of that?</i>
00:21:20,059 --> 00:21:21,695 <i>Bento.</i>

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