Война с розами
Описание
Лесные нимфы усиливают натиск природы на Крапополис, и Ступендус предлагает им начать войну с природой. Гиппокамп отправляется в лес на встречу с Дафной, где они обсуждают, что их семьи их не слушают. Они придумывают план, как обманом заставить Тиранниса и правительницу природы, королеву Ирис, встретиться для переговоров против войны. Королева Ирис прибывает с Дафной, грязевым чудовищем по имени Тея и яком по имени Бартлби. Пан также прибывает, чтобы помочь королеве Ирис, и Гиппокамп утверждает, что он и Делирия могут быть вовлечены в возможную войну. Когда переговоры идут наперекосяк, начинается война между Крапополисом и природой. Дафна следует за Гиппокампом в его бункер, и в итоге они находят решение, чтобы положить конец войне. Делирию обманом заставляют совершить божественное вмешательство против природы, когда Тираннис бросает ей вызов рассказать Пану, что на самом деле случилось с Зевсом.
Субтитры
- 00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:04,330 Иногда я не понимаю, зачем вообще произношу речи.
- 00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:06,750 Речь царя должна быть главным событием их недели.
- 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,210 Злишься, что тебя освистали?
- 00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:09,420 Я изобрёл освистывание.
- 00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:12,550 До меня все выражали неодобрение, махая задницами.
- 00:00:12,550 --> 00:00:14,300 Я предпочитал это.
- 00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:17,680 Да, вот как надо показывать неодобрение.
- 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,390 Нет, освистывание лучше. Но нельзя использовать его против изобретателя.
- 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:25,600 О, должно быть супер освистывание против тех, кто освистывает неправильно.
- 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:28,440 Дурацкая природа опять атакует город.
- 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:29,940 В пятый раз за месяц.
- 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,440 - Что теперь? - Дамба.
- 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:34,950 Деревья прорастили корни под рекой и полностью снесли ее.
- 00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:39,450 Да мать вашу. От этой дамбы должны были работать все мельницы города.
- 00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:41,660 Человек против природы. Классическая борьба.
- 00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:45,540 Мне ли не знать. Мои людские части постоянно отвергают природные.
- 00:00:45,580 --> 00:00:46,500 Сыпь ужасная.
- 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,420 За всем стоят эти дурацкие древесные нимфы.
- 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,000 Ну не обязательно.
- 00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:54,826 Ты думаешь, деревья снесли наши мельницы сами по себе?
- 00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:57,620 А волки украли все молотки веселья ради?
- 00:00:57,620 --> 00:01:03,066 И маленькие насекомые постоянно залетают нам в рот по случайности?
- 00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:05,140 Просто проглоти ее!
- 00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:08,770 И позволить мухе победить? Ни за что!
- 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:09,980 Я не понимаю.
- 00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:11,360 У нас долго было перемирие.
- 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,480 Люди остаются в городе, а природа в лесу.
- 00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:15,400 Люди в лесу умирают страшной смертью.
- 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,280 Растения в городе умирают без внимания.
- 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,410 Зачем природе нарушать этот баланс?
- 00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:25,064 Может, потому что мы расширяем город за счёт леса, срубаем деревья, строим из них новые дома,
- 00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:28,200 готовим лесных животных и едим их с лесными растениями?
- 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,090 Для природы мы по сути машина смерти.
- 00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:34,300 Тоже мне, любитель природы. Ты что, женат на дереве?
- 00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:36,260 Я просто вижу точку зрения природы.
- 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:40,090 Это уже влияет на мое одобрение. Оно упало до тридцати процентов.
- 00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:41,850 Кажется, это три.
- 00:01:41,890 --> 00:01:45,020 Разве каждый человечек это не десять процентов населения?
- 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,640 Нет, каждый человечек это один человек.
- 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,190 Тебя поддерживают трое.
- 00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:52,190 Что? Они должны означать не меньше пяти процентов.
- 00:01:52,270 --> 00:01:53,820 Нужно это изменить.
- 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:56,820 Я предлагаю объявить войну лесу и перебить их всех.
- 00:01:56,860 --> 00:02:03,490 Я уже срубила деревья вокруг дворца, потому что они выпускали споры, которые превращали слуг в зомби-шпионов.
- 00:02:03,580 --> 00:02:05,990 Хорошо, что мы поймали их всех.
- 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,580 Что?
- 00:02:07,620 --> 00:02:09,000 Иди сюда!
- 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,120 Я однажды встречался с деревом.
- 00:02:11,170 --> 00:02:15,460 У нас не сложилось. Она хотела, чтобы я укоренился.
- 00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:19,260 И никто не освистает это?
- 00:02:51,470 --> 00:02:53,050 За тобой не следили?
- 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,890 А за тобой?
- 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,350 Секс как обычно фантастический, Дафни.
- 00:02:58,430 --> 00:02:59,600 Я тоже не жалуюсь.
- 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,430 У нас идеальные отношения.
- 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,560 Чисто физические, взаимовыгодные.
- 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,940 Можно не бояться, что у нас завяжутся узы.
- 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,860 Гениально. Но кстати говоря.
- 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:12,280 Мой брат уже на пределе с этими дурацкими стычками человека и природы.
- 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,530 - Гиппо. - Что?
- 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,740 Мы договаривались.
- 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:18,240 Мы не будем об этом говорить, если хотим и дальше заниматься этим.
- 00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:19,450 Но, но в том-то и дело.
- 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:23,790 Если мы ничего не придумаем, то мы и не сможем, потому что будем воевать.
- 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,210 Верно. Мои сёстры тоже в бешенстве.
- 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:28,590 Почему наши семьи такие эмоциональные и глупые?
- 00:03:28,630 --> 00:03:34,720 Что самое безумное, если дойдёт до войны, мама устроит божественное возмездие лесу.
- 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,760 А затем Пан устроит божественное возмездие городу.
- 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:43,520 Именно. С богом на каждой стороне любой конфликт приводит к уничтожению обеих сторон.
- 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,600 Как бы нам заставить наши семьи это понять?
- 00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:49,440 Ну, меня слушает моя царица.
- 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,190 Тебя слушает твой царь.
- 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:56,740 Найдём способ привести их на переговоры. Так, чтобы они не узнали, что мы это делаем.
- 00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:02,410 И сможем продолжить наше страстное ничего не значащее что бы это ни было, не усложняя всё войной.
- 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,750 Наш речной секс. Назовём это речным сексом.
- 00:04:07,170 --> 00:04:09,080 И они хотят обсудить мир, правда?
- 00:04:09,170 --> 00:04:10,380 Откуда ты знаешь?
- 00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:12,050 Мне птичка напела.
- 00:04:12,130 --> 00:04:13,340 Буквально птичка.
- 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,710 Он назвался Марком.
- 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,590 Но мне не кажется разумным встречаться с врагом.
- 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,140 Формально они пока не враги.
- 00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:21,430 А еще не называй их так в лицо.
- 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:23,520 Опять защищаешь природу.
- 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,060 Я не за природу, я против войны.
- 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,440 Ты хочешь, чтобы я тебя ненавидела?
- 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,850 Ты на верном пути.
- 00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:31,770 Покончим с этим, пока всё не вышло из под контроля.
- 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:35,820 А это как называется? Мы расчищали землю для новой беличьей жаровни - и бам!
- 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,700 Миллионы скорпионов убили моих лучших ребят.
- 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:39,490 Беличья жаровня?
- 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,780 Они ядовитые?
- 00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:42,580 Они надоедливые, вот какие они.
- 00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:45,790 Если понадоблюсь, я со своей армией, иду воевать с природой.
- 00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:47,660 Сперва переговоры.
- 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:48,870 Ты в порядке?
- 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,090 Об этом пусть беспокоится моя кровь.
- 00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:53,550 Не будем исключать войну.
- 00:04:53,630 --> 00:04:55,460 Воюющие цари популярны.
- 00:04:55,510 --> 00:04:57,630 Но и у мира есть свои преимущества.
- 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,880 Дафни присоединится переговорам?
- 00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:01,300 Не знаю, а что?
- 00:05:01,350 --> 00:05:02,970 Мир может привести ко второму поцелую.
- 00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:05,770 Я говорил, что мы с Дафни целовались?
- 00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:07,100 - Да. - Да.
- 00:05:07,190 --> 00:05:09,270 Да.
- 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:12,560 Знаю, вы пытаетесь меня пристыдить. Но я рад, что все помнят.
- 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:18,820 Когда она придёт, поклонись и скажи: "Добро пожаловать, ваше величество".
- 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,330 Это срезанные цветы на столе?
- 00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:25,450 Это такой красивый жест для нее.
- 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:29,370 Жест, показывающий, что ты бездумно убил природу, чтобы украсить свой дом.
- 00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:33,540 - Избавься от них. - По твоей аналогии, это как убить, а затем прятать тело.
- 00:05:33,630 --> 00:05:37,210 Не будет ли лучше показать тело в знак уважения?
- 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,130 Враг у ворот!
- 00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:48,310 Царь Тиран.
- 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,310 Царица ирИда, приветствую.
- 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,520 Мы подметём позже.
- 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,570 Типичный человек. Отметают природу в сторону, когда им захочется.
- 00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:59,320 Типичное природное поведение. Гадить на наш каменный пол.
- 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,570 Колосса, ты бы шла тренировать армию.
- 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:04,120 Да, мы сегодня учимся убивать птиц.
- 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,910 У меня есть аист с мечом по твою душу.
- 00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:09,040 Мы пришли на переговоры, помнишь?
- 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,960 Говорить будем с выжившими.
- 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,540 Выживших не будет, когда вмешаются боги.
- 00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:16,460 Делирия!
- 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,550 - Пан! - Сколько мы не виделись?
- 00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:20,630 С войны, в которой погибли все фелициАне.
- 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,380 Никогда о них не слышал.
- 00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:25,010 Именно. Тогда победила природа.
- 00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:26,760 Пока, фелициане.
- 00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:30,100 Хорошая новость. Этот парень любит пиво.
- 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,390 Если будем нужны, не ищите нас.
- 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,270 Идём, БАртлби.
- 00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:38,820 Так как мы можем помирить наши народы?
- 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,320 Люди должны прекратить экспансию в лес.
- 00:06:41,410 --> 00:06:43,450 Моя царица хотела сказать...
- 00:06:43,530 --> 00:06:44,700 Я управляю цивилизацией.
- 00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:46,530 Экспансия - ее часть.
- 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,450 Расширяйтесь в сторону гор.
- 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,370 Горным троллям это понравится.
- 00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:53,000 Значит, горные тролли тебя волнуют больше, чем нимфы?
- 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,920 Меня никто из вас не волнует. Я хочу, чтобы вы умерли!
- 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,460 Так же начиналось с фелицианами.
- 00:06:58,550 --> 00:07:01,550 Их город в виде огромной горящей воронки мне нравится даже больше.
- 00:07:01,590 --> 00:07:03,510 Слушайте, давайте все успокоимся.
- 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:08,760 У природы есть хорошие аргументы. Но и плохие тоже есть.
- 00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:12,350 Плохие, но понятно, из чего они исходят.
- 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,980 Дафни хотела что-то сказать.
- 00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:16,270 Тебе не всё равно? Между вами что-то есть?
- 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:20,020 Нет, мне всё равно, что эта древесная дура скажет.
- 00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:21,780 Вот кто мы для тебя?
- 00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,490 Древесные дуры?
- 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,450 Думаю, Гиппо подразумевал...
- 00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:29,120 Гиппо? С каких пор ты зовёшь по имени рыбного урода?
- 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,740 Этот урод мой брат!
- 00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:32,540 Да, только мы зовём его уродом.
- 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,710 И ты думаешь, "камп" это фамилия?
- 00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:38,187 Короче, факт том, что мы можем ненавидеть друг друга сколько влезет.
- 00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:42,066 Но если начнём войну, вмешаются боги, и мы все умрём.
- 00:07:42,340 --> 00:07:44,550 Так что найдём способ сосуществовать.
- 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,880 Зачем нам вмешиваться?
- 00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:51,600 Потому что ты защитница города. Потому что любое нападение на город это нападение на тебя.
- 00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:54,390 Я понимаю логику твоих слов, но мне так не кажется.
- 00:07:54,440 --> 00:08:00,980 Пан, защитник природы. На любое посягательство на природу ты наверняка ответишь быстрым и полным уничтожением.
- 00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:05,610 Быстрым и полным? Я, бывает, балуюсь войной, но наблюдать намного веселее.
- 00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:07,160 Даже если лет будет уничтожен?
- 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,490 Я создам новый. Что такое тысяча лет?
- 00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:12,790 Это почти на тысячу лет дольше, чем они строили этот город.
- 00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:17,460 Постойте. Так мы не уничтожали природу, только чтобы этот бог не раздавил нас.
- 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,380 Но он говорит, что ему плевать?
- 00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:21,170 Нет, он этого не говорил.
- 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,840 По сути сказал.
- 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,050 Смотрите, их богиня ничего не сделала.
- 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,300 Но собирается.
- 00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:30,510 Не собирается.
- 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:34,180 Что ж, эта встреча дала нам много пищи для размышлений. Спасибо, мы...
- 00:08:34,270 --> 00:08:36,520 Джейкоб? Кёртис? Энтони?
- 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,400 Время переговоров кончилось!
- 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,980 Вот почему я сказала "враги у ворот".
- 00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:44,030 Нет, стойте!
- 00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:48,320 Ничего. Всё еще исправимо.
- 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,910 Это война!
- 00:08:56,330 --> 00:08:57,620 Или нет.
- 00:09:01,590 --> 00:09:03,840 Нет, пожалуйста, нет!
- 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:10,430 Так прошла вторая война человека против природы.
- 00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:12,180 Было много битв.
- 00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,470 Человек против нимф.
- 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,430 Человек против медведей.
- 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,060 Мальчик против дерева.
- 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:21,480 Человек против лошади, за которыми наблюдали собаки и кролик.
- 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:27,610 Колосса повела армию людей и встретила равного противника, ТЕю.
- 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:34,845 Царь Тиран примерил на себя новый образ. На вазах его называли царём войны.
- 00:09:34,845 --> 00:09:40,420 Его одобрение выросло до девяноста процентов. Он также отрастил бороду, собравшую пять процентов.
- 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:47,300 А Гиппо служил стратегом. Придумывал оружие и тактику, чтобы с жестокой эффективностью побеждать природу.
- 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,340 Ой, извини.
- 00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:56,180 У меня есть оружие против твоего грязевого чудовища.
- 00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:57,720 Я назвал его банкой.
- 00:09:57,770 --> 00:10:00,690 Просто зачерпни ее и закрой крышку.
- 00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:01,980 Проблема решена.
- 00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:05,900 - Круто. - Ничего из этого не круто. Кроме моей бороды. Она крута.
- 00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:07,110 Сокол!
- 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,650 Это всего лишь я, беру перекусить.
- 00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:14,660 Мама, ты можешь не залетать в замок в виде чего-то природного, когда нас убивает природа?
- 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,200 Но всё летающее из природы.
- 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,620 Это огромное преимущество.
- 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,040 Воевать было ужасной идеей.
- 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,000 А отличной идеей было бы помочь нам.
- 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:28,550 Если бы я буду вмешиваться в каждую войну, ты ничему не научишься, а у меня не будет свободного времени.
- 00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:34,180 Мы можем погибнуть в этой войне. И тебе будет очень, очень грустно.
- 00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:35,430 Ой, не драматизируй.
- 00:10:35,470 --> 00:10:37,760 Человек с крыльями.
- 00:10:37,810 --> 00:10:40,180 Видишь, как глупо это выглядит?
- 00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:42,640 Орёл.
- 00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:45,070 Я рад, что хоть кому-то весело.
- 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,780 Ты же популярен как никогда.
- 00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:52,160 Да, но в основном потому что те, кто меня ненавидел, были в армии и уже почти все умерли.
- 00:10:52,210 --> 00:10:54,710 Мне пришлось завербовать много детей.
- 00:10:54,790 --> 00:10:56,120 Так не может продолжаться.
- 00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:59,290 Надо сделать что-то смелое, решительное, безрассудное и непоправимое.
- 00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:05,800 Что? Например, отравить устье реки, питающей лес, убив все деревья, растения и животных, которые едят деревья и растения?
- 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,050 А ты можешь?
- 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,760 Я всё могу. Тут вопрос скорее следует ли.
- 00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:12,810 - Сделай это! - Да, пожалуйста.
- 00:11:12,890 --> 00:11:15,060 Обязательно заходить так глубоко?
- 00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:21,150 Это смотря хочешь ли ты отравить устье реки или середину реки, что не будет иметь значения.
- 00:11:21,190 --> 00:11:25,440 Тебе обязательно отвечать на нормальные вопросы так оскорбительно?
- 00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:27,860 Стой! Не наступи туда.
- 00:11:27,950 --> 00:11:29,990 Гладкие камни - это ловушки.
- 00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,120 Откуда ты знаешь?
- 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,330 Просто знаю.
- 00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:42,880 Воробьи.
- 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:43,750 Бежим!
- 00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,150 Гиппо, давно не виделись.
- 00:11:59,190 --> 00:12:01,310 Что ты здесь делаешь, Дафни?
- 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,940 Мы обещали забыть то, что узнали, пока были вместе.
- 00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:07,570 Например, расположение наших ловушек?
- 00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:09,160 Ну да, я знаю о ловушках.
- 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:13,740 Я что, серьёзно должен был угодить в одну из них из уважения к нашим отношениям?
- 00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:16,250 Это нарушение доверия.
- 00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:18,080 Мой тайный бункер?
- 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,960 Ой, умоляю. Я умею вести себя по-взрослому.
- 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:25,340 Я пришла сюда, потому что ты затаил обиду и играешь грязно. Потому что ты эмоциональный.
- 00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:27,660 Что ты делал в глубине леса, Гиппо?
- 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:28,630 Ничего, я...
- 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,680 Осторожнее.
- 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,390 Это яд для растений.
- 00:12:34,430 --> 00:12:36,680 Что? Что ты хотел сделать?
- 00:12:36,810 --> 00:12:39,480 Ладно, ладно, я знаю, как это выглядит, но...
- 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,370 Не вижу отравления.
- 00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:46,660 Воробьи устроили нам засаду.
- 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:49,290 Не волнуйся, я поквиталась с ними.
- 00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:51,080 Вам помешали? Где Гиппо?
- 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:54,630 Не знаю. Наверно, в одном из своих тоннелей, о которых мы не должны знать.
- 00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,090 Эта война никогда не закончится.
- 00:12:56,130 --> 00:13:00,210 Не без божьего вмешательства. Но богам, похоже, всё равно.
- 00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:02,840 Я и забыл, что в лесу были слоны.
- 00:13:10,430 --> 00:13:16,560 Мама, ты серьёзно так и будешь сидеть там, пока война с природой сравнивает с землёй город и мое одобрение?
- 00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:18,610 Не знала, что тебя это волнует.
- 00:13:18,690 --> 00:13:22,190 - Да, так и буду. - Если не закончится молоко с мёдом.
- 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,070 Кое-кто из нас сластёна.
- 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,120 Ты выпил ничуть не меньше молока с мёдом.
- 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,870 Ты не слышала о божьем вмешательстве?
- 00:13:28,990 --> 00:13:32,000 Зачем вообще нужен этот термин, если боги не вмешиваются?
- 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,790 Мы вмешиваемся, когда надо.
- 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,250 - И когда это? - Когда оскорбляют лично нас.
- 00:13:36,290 --> 00:13:37,130 Или на спор.
- 00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:38,500 С уважаемым богом.
- 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,630 Да, на спор с уважемым богом.
- 00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:44,970 И даже тогда есть риск разозлить Зевса. И никто этого не хочет.
- 00:13:45,010 --> 00:13:46,550 Безопаснее просто не лезть.
- 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,430 Спорим, ты не расскажешь ему Зевсе?
- 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,850 Мы сказали "спор с уважаемым богом".
- 00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:53,520 Но что там про Зевса?
- 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:57,020 Пойдём посмотрим, что происходит по другую сторону войны.
- 00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:59,150 Ты пытаешься сменить тему?
- 00:13:59,230 --> 00:14:02,780 Что ты от меня скрываешь о Зевсе?
- 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:03,820 Скажи ему, мам.
- 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,030 Да, скажи ему, мам.
- 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:10,410 Как ты смеешь опошлять материнство?
- 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,700 Вот как это делается.
- 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:19,210 А что ты сделал? Привёл маму в неистовство?
- 00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:25,720 Это за оленей, и пеликанов, и кусты ежевики.
- 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,720 Я не трогал кусты ежевики.
- 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,180 Я люблю ежевику.
- 00:14:31,890 --> 00:14:33,560 Радуйся, что я не убила тебя.
- 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:34,480 Вперёд, убей.
- 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,930 Боже, не будь таким ребёнком.
- 00:14:35,980 --> 00:14:37,390 Я принесу запасной шлем.
- 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,310 Этот запасной.
- 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,650 Мне стоило бы просто оставить тебя здесь.
- 00:14:41,690 --> 00:14:43,820 Ну и оставь. Мне никто не нужен.
- 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,360 Поэтому я и создал это место.
- 00:14:45,450 --> 00:14:47,700 Отлично, пока.
- 00:14:53,790 --> 00:14:55,400 Просто скажи, как тебе помочь.
- 00:14:55,460 --> 00:15:00,290 Есть экстренная запаска в моем экстренном запасном бункере.
- 00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:03,090 У тебя есть бункер внутри бункера?
- 00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:08,180 Тебе это кажется перебором, госпожа "прихожу, когда захочу"?
- 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,850 Спасибо. Запаска возле дерева. А потом можешь идти.
- 00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:16,640 Зачем оно здесь?
- 00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:18,520 Для эстетики?
- 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,770 Именно тот вид дерева, что нужен мне для выживания?
- 00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:24,570 Чёрт, ты мне нравишься.
- 00:15:24,650 --> 00:15:26,280 Ну, ты мне тоже.
- 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,990 Ну и ну.
- 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:38,540 Вот чёрт.
- 00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:40,040 - Да. - Как это случилось?
- 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,380 Мы же были умными!
- 00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:42,750 Секс ничего не значил.
- 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,170 В какой-то момент всё изменилось.
- 00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:47,130 Наверно когда мы начали смотреть в глаза.
- 00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:49,010 Это был прекрасный день.
- 00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:50,630 Чёрт, да, именно тогда.
- 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,010 - Что нам делать? - Не знаю. Но я не хочу останавливаться.
- 00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,970 Постой. Мы с тобой практичные.
- 00:15:56,020 --> 00:16:01,060 Что нам так сильно не нравится в эмоциональной привязанности?
- 00:16:01,150 --> 00:16:02,190 Она нам неподвластна.
- 00:16:02,270 --> 00:16:06,530 Именно. Если мы умные, то смиримся с этим. Ведь разве у нас есть выбор?
- 00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:08,570 Ты права. Это по-научному.
- 00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:11,490 Мы говорим "вот, что мы знаем" и идём дальше.
- 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,910 Это и по-природному тоже.
- 00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:15,580 Мы не сидим и не ноем из-за содержания почвы нашего биома.
- 00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:18,080 Мы растём с учётом полученной информации.
- 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,710 Мне сразу полегчало.
- 00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:23,295 Мы тратили много энергии на то, чтобы этого избежать.
- 00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:26,666 Теперь ее можно пустить на что-то другое.
- 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:31,010 У нас определённо хватает других поводов для беспокойства. Та же война.
- 00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:32,680 Я не хочу туда возвращаться.
- 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,266 И я не хочу, чтобы ты возвращался. Разве что...
- 00:16:36,266 --> 00:16:41,640 Вернёмся вместе и остановим войну, потому что ты моя девушка.
- 00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:48,150 О боже!
- 00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:49,570 Я всегда думала, а есть ли у богов...
- 00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:51,900 Есть. Всё-таки есть.
- 00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:53,280 Так что ты говорил?
- 00:16:53,370 --> 00:16:55,200 Это слишком.
- 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,030 Я люблю тебя.
- 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,870 Остановим войну.
- 00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:00,870 Делирия, что ты делаешь?
- 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,790 Это моя флора и моя фауна!
- 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,046 Меня оскорбили.
- 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:11,333 И это перевешивает всё остальное. Включая то, о чём мы говорили, когда я была оскорблена.
- 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:13,430 Хотя бы топчи другую часть леса.
- 00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:15,760 В этой роще живут последние додо.
- 00:17:15,850 --> 00:17:18,010 Как ты смеешь мне указывать?
- 00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:20,520 Возможно, втягивать маму было ошибкой.
- 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,890 Ты шутишь? Мы наконец обратили их в бегство.
- 00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:24,600 Топчите птиц!
- 00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:25,850 Давай, жена!
- 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,190 Ты позволишь ей довести драгоценных птиц до вымирания?
- 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,820 Никто не хочет жить в мире без додо.
- 00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:36,160 Сделай что-нибудь.
- 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,120 Всё, хватит быть добрым богом.
- 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,580 Вот чем ты известен?
- 00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:44,250 А я думала, грызунами и ленивой импровизированной музыкой.
- 00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:45,790 Ленивой?
- 00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:51,050 Мама, вырасти выше его и бей в ответ!
- 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,550 А это отличная идея.
- 00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:59,350 Убивайте всё с перьями и мехом!
- 00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:27,010 Нам нужен стол для переговоров побольше.
- 00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:28,880 Мама, стой!
- 00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:30,930 Решим это мирным путём!
- 00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:35,020 Тебе понравилось бы, оскорби я твои рога?
- 00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:39,060 Сама мысль, что в них есть что оскорблять, невероятно оскорбительна.
- 00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:40,690 И хорошо.
- 00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:41,730 Она не слышит.
- 00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:44,190 Они не услышат голос разума.
- 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,440 Может быть, шок привлечёт их внимание.
- 00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:48,400 - Что ты задумал? - Поцелуй меня.
- 00:18:48,490 --> 00:18:49,860 Но тебе нельзя снимать шлем.
- 00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,240 Целуй сквозь стекло.
- 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,660 Серьёзно? Это будет странно.
- 00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:55,290 Вот именно. Думай о речном сексе.
- 00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:01,120 Это работает. Продолжай.
- 00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:03,920 С удовольствием для тебя и меня.
- 00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:06,000 Дафни?
- 00:19:06,090 --> 00:19:07,590 Гиппо?
- 00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:08,630 Погоди.
- 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,130 Они там внизу не дерутся.
- 00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:13,090 Работайте, или я наступлю на всех вас.
- 00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:16,930 Это твой сын и моя лесная дочь?
- 00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:19,430 Гиппо? Надеюсь, ты делаешь ей больно.
- 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,310 Нет. Вроде бы.
- 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,020 - Ведь нет? - Неа.
- 00:19:24,610 --> 00:19:26,650 Гиппо, почему ты целуешь Дафни сквозь стекло?
- 00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:28,610 Мы доказываем, что жизнь сложна.
- 00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:32,240 Вы выбрали войну, потому что она безопаснее сосуществования.
- 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:33,860 Но смотрите, к чему это ведёт.
- 00:19:33,870 --> 00:19:36,450 Но почему ты целуешь ее сквозь стекло?
- 00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:41,660 Настоящая храбрость - это делать что-то несовершенное и исправлять на ходу, потому что оно того стоит.
- 00:19:41,790 --> 00:19:44,538 И именно это люди с природой должны сделать.
- 00:19:44,530 --> 00:19:48,933 Жить вместе в мире со всеми его сложностями. Потому что мы нужны друг другу.
- 00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:53,510 Это мерзко, но вдохновляюще.
- 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,180 Дафни, значит, ты не хочешь пойти со мной на свидание позже?
- 00:19:57,220 --> 00:19:58,640 Нет, не хочу.
- 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,270 Ладно. Я просто рад получить ответ.
- 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,100 Забирай свою сестру.
- 00:20:03,150 --> 00:20:05,440 Вроде рот в банке с красной крышкой.
- 00:20:05,666 --> 00:20:09,390 Война окончена. С этого дня природа и человек сосуществуют
- 00:20:09,396 --> 00:20:14,570 в поисках идеального союза, которого мы достигнет через десять-двадцать лет.
- 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,450 Ты знаешь, по сути мы ничего не решили.
- 00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:20,870 Мы решили про нас. А с остальным разберёмся.
- 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,954 А пока пусть людям можно будет разбивать лагеря в лесу, чтобы природа не переступала черту.
- 00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:28,933 А собаки пусть живут с людьми и шпионят.
- 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,840 - Они уже это делают. - Хорошо.
- 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,800 - Кошки? - Идёт.
- 00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:42,600 Вы подавлены? Попытки прокладывать себе дорогу в этом мире отнимают у вас все силы?
- 00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:45,940 Тогда вам нужно заглянуть в Лачугу яка.
- 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:52,856 Да-да, в новейший бар Крапополиса, принадлежащий человеку и природе.
- 00:20:52,850 --> 00:21:01,466 Это идеальное место, чтобы забыть о печалях и о радостях, будь вы человеческим человеком или медвежьим медведем.
- 00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:03,620 Всё верно, Бартлби.
- 00:21:03,710 --> 00:21:07,960 И не забывайте: здесь, в Лачуге яка, первое и десятое пиво бесплатное.
- 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:12,380 Мне ли не знать. Я не только владелец, но и клиент.
- 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,940 Что это было? И почему мы должны стоять и слушать?
- 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,440 Какая разница? Десятое пиво бесплатно!
- 00:00:01,504 --> 00:00:04,308 Sometimes I wonder why I give speeches to the city at all.
- 00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:06,814 A king's speech should be the highlight of their week.
- 00:00:06,814 --> 00:00:08,216 Still mad they booed ya?
- 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,452 I invented the boo.
- 00:00:09,452 --> 00:00:11,490 Before me, everyone wiggled their butts
- 00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:12,559 to express disapproval.
- 00:00:12,559 --> 00:00:14,362 Honestly, I prefer it.
- 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:17,769 Mm, yes that's how you disapprove of something.
- 00:00:17,769 --> 00:00:19,205 No, the boo is better,
- 00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:21,309 but you can't use it against the inventor.
- 00:00:21,309 --> 00:00:23,279 Ooh, there should be a super boo
- 00:00:23,279 --> 00:00:25,619 to use against people who are booing incorrectly.
- 00:00:25,619 --> 00:00:28,525 Stupid nature attacked the city again.
- 00:00:28,525 --> 00:00:30,027 That's the fifth attack this month.
- 00:00:30,027 --> 00:00:31,530 What was it this time? - The dam.
- 00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:33,768 Some trees grew roots under the river
- 00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:34,937 and ripped the whole thing out.
- 00:00:35,037 --> 00:00:38,276 Damn it--pun not intended. That dam was going to power
- 00:00:38,276 --> 00:00:39,513 wheat grinders for the whole city.
- 00:00:39,513 --> 00:00:41,584 Man versus nature, a classic struggle.
- 00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:44,188 And I should know. My man bits are constantly
- 00:00:44,188 --> 00:00:45,825 rejecting my nature bits.
- 00:00:45,825 --> 00:00:46,594 Horrible rashes.
- 00:00:46,594 --> 00:00:48,330 It's those stupid wood nymphs.
- 00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:49,465 They're behind all of this.
- 00:00:49,465 --> 00:00:51,135 Come on. W-we don't know that.
- 00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:53,206 So you think the trees tore down
- 00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:55,110 all our windmills on their own,
- 00:00:55,110 --> 00:00:57,381 and wolves stole all our hammers for fun,
- 00:00:57,381 --> 00:00:59,520 and tiny bugs fly into our mouths
- 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,090 all the time now as a coincidence?
- 00:01:02,090 --> 00:01:04,062 [choking]
- 00:01:04,062 --> 00:01:05,297 Just swallow it!
- 00:01:05,297 --> 00:01:07,301 [coughs] And let the fly win?
- 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,872 Never!
- 00:01:08,872 --> 00:01:10,006 I don't understand.
- 00:01:10,006 --> 00:01:11,108 We've had a truce for so long.
- 00:01:11,108 --> 00:01:13,614 Humans stay in the city, nature stays in the forest.
- 00:01:13,614 --> 00:01:15,518 Humans who go in the forest die horribly.
- 00:01:15,518 --> 00:01:17,421 Plants brought inside die from neglect.
- 00:01:17,421 --> 00:01:19,526 Why would nature disturb that balance?
- 00:01:19,526 --> 00:01:21,697 Maybe because we keep expanding the city
- 00:01:21,697 --> 00:01:23,767 into the forest, then use the trees we cut down
- 00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:26,540 to build new houses where we cook all the forest animals
- 00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:28,476 and eat them with the forest plants.
- 00:01:28,476 --> 00:01:31,249 We're basically a nature death machine.
- 00:01:31,249 --> 00:01:33,186 Listen to Mr. Nature Lover.
- 00:01:33,186 --> 00:01:34,455 What, are you married to a tree?
- 00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:36,426 I just see nature's side of things.
- 00:01:36,426 --> 00:01:38,764 Well, it's beginning to affect my numbers.
- 00:01:38,764 --> 00:01:40,267 I'm down to 30%.
- 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,004 I believe that's three.
- 00:01:42,004 --> 00:01:43,908 Doesn't each little person here represent
- 00:01:43,908 --> 00:01:45,177 10% of the population?
- 00:01:45,177 --> 00:01:47,782 No, each little person represents a person.
- 00:01:47,782 --> 00:01:49,452 Your approval rating is three.
- 00:01:49,452 --> 00:01:50,387 What?
- 00:01:50,387 --> 00:01:52,358 Well, they should mean 5%, at least.
- 00:01:52,358 --> 00:01:53,994 Somebody make sure that gets changed.
- 00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:56,967 I say we go to war with the forest and wipe them all out.
- 00:01:56,967 --> 00:01:59,539 I already had to chop down the trees around the palace
- 00:01:59,539 --> 00:02:01,009 'cause they were releasing spores
- 00:02:01,009 --> 00:02:03,547 to turn our servants into zombie spies.
- 00:02:03,547 --> 00:02:06,185 Good thing we caught them all.
- 00:02:06,185 --> 00:02:07,789 What? - [grunts]
- 00:02:07,789 --> 00:02:09,191 Come here!
- 00:02:09,191 --> 00:02:11,295 You know, I dated a tree once.
- 00:02:11,295 --> 00:02:12,497 It didn't work out.
- 00:02:12,497 --> 00:02:15,638 She wanted me to put down roots.
- 00:02:15,638 --> 00:02:17,575 [laughs]
- 00:02:17,575 --> 00:02:19,412 And no one's going to boo that?
- 00:02:19,412 --> 00:02:22,586 <i>[dramatic lyre music]</i>
- 00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:29,799 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:47,636 <i>[tense music]</i>
- 00:02:47,636 --> 00:02:50,273 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:02:50,273 --> 00:02:51,309 [leaves rustling] - [grunts]
- 00:02:51,309 --> 00:02:52,946 Were you followed?
- 00:02:52,946 --> 00:02:54,783 Were you?
- 00:02:56,252 --> 00:02:58,290 Fantastic sex, as usual, Daphne.
- 00:02:58,290 --> 00:02:59,526 No complaints here either.
- 00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:01,295 It's the perfect arrangement--
- 00:03:01,295 --> 00:03:03,501 purely physical, mutually beneficial.
- 00:03:03,501 --> 00:03:05,905 No danger of any messy bonds forming.
- 00:03:05,905 --> 00:03:07,007 It's genius.
- 00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:07,809 But that reminds me.
- 00:03:07,909 --> 00:03:09,513 My brother's at his breaking point
- 00:03:09,513 --> 00:03:12,217 with these stupid man-versus-nature skirmishes.
- 00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:13,588 - Hippo. - What?
- 00:03:13,588 --> 00:03:14,723 We agreed.
- 00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:16,459 That's the one thing we wouldn't talk about,
- 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,196 at least if we want to keep doing this.
- 00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:19,666 Yeah, but that's just it.
- 00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:20,602 If we don't figure something out,
- 00:03:20,602 --> 00:03:22,673 we're not gonna be able to do this anyway
- 00:03:22,673 --> 00:03:23,741 because we'll be at war.
- 00:03:23,741 --> 00:03:26,112 That's true. My sisters are all pissed off too.
- 00:03:26,112 --> 00:03:28,517 Why are our families so emotional and dumb?
- 00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:31,489 What's extra crazy is, if it ever did erupt into war,
- 00:03:31,489 --> 00:03:34,696 my mom would go all vengeful god on the forest.
- 00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:37,668 And then Pan would go all vengeful god on the city.
- 00:03:37,668 --> 00:03:39,839 Exactly. With a god on each side,
- 00:03:39,839 --> 00:03:43,514 any conflict would end in total destruction on both sides.
- 00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:46,620 If only we could make our families realize that.
- 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,425 Well, I have the ear of my queen.
- 00:03:49,425 --> 00:03:51,195 You have the ear of your king.
- 00:03:51,195 --> 00:03:52,464 If we could figure out a way
- 00:03:52,464 --> 00:03:54,101 to bring 'em together for negotiations
- 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,707 without them knowing that's what we're doing, of course...
- 00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:59,212 We could continue this passionate, meaningless
- 00:03:59,212 --> 00:04:00,480 whatever you want to call it
- 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,284 without a war complicating things.
- 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,121 You had me at river sex.
- 00:04:04,121 --> 00:04:05,724 I want to call it river sex.
- 00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:09,098 And they want to negotiate peace, really?
- 00:04:09,098 --> 00:04:10,334 How did you hear about this?
- 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:12,070 A little bird told me--
- 00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:13,373 literally, a little bird.
- 00:04:13,373 --> 00:04:14,643 He said his name was Marcus.
- 00:04:14,643 --> 00:04:16,479 Well, still not sure it's wise
- 00:04:16,479 --> 00:04:17,615 for me to meet with the enemy.
- 00:04:17,615 --> 00:04:19,017 They're not technically the enemy yet.
- 00:04:19,017 --> 00:04:21,455 Also, I wouldn't call them that when they get here.
- 00:04:21,455 --> 00:04:23,561 Again with the pro-nature talk.
- 00:04:23,561 --> 00:04:25,097 It's anti-war talk.
- 00:04:25,097 --> 00:04:27,334 Are you trying to get me to hate you?
- 00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:28,871 Because you're on the right track.
- 00:04:28,871 --> 00:04:31,710 We can end this before it gets out of hand.
- 00:04:31,710 --> 00:04:33,814 What do you call this? We were clearing land
- 00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:35,785 for a new squirrel grill, and, wham!
- 00:04:35,785 --> 00:04:38,758 A million scorpions took out all my best guys.
- 00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:39,793 Squirrel grill?
- 00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:40,828 Are those poisonous?
- 00:04:40,828 --> 00:04:42,598 They're a pain in the ass is what they are.
- 00:04:42,598 --> 00:04:44,368 If anyone needs me, I'll be with my army,
- 00:04:44,468 --> 00:04:45,838 going to war with nature.
- 00:04:45,838 --> 00:04:47,976 Not until we negotiate.
- 00:04:47,976 --> 00:04:48,945 Are you okay?
- 00:04:49,078 --> 00:04:52,151 Why don't you let my blood worry about that?
- 00:04:52,151 --> 00:04:53,621 We should leave war on the table.
- 00:04:53,621 --> 00:04:55,490 Wartime kings are very popular.
- 00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:57,696 But peace has its advantages as well.
- 00:04:57,696 --> 00:04:59,833 Will Daphne be joining the negotiation?
- 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,368 I don't know. Why?
- 00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,006 Peace might lead to another kiss.
- 00:05:03,006 --> 00:05:05,811 Did I mention that Daphne and I kissed once?
- 00:05:05,811 --> 00:05:07,148 - Yes. - Yes.
- 00:05:07,148 --> 00:05:09,318 Yes.
- 00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:10,521 I know you're trying to shame me,
- 00:05:10,521 --> 00:05:12,758 but I'm just happy everyone remembers.
- 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:16,767 So when she gets here, you bow and say,
- 00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:18,904 "Welcome, Your Majesty."
- 00:05:20,473 --> 00:05:23,412 Are those cut flowers on the table?
- 00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:25,518 She's from nature. It's a gesture.
- 00:05:25,518 --> 00:05:28,223 A gesture that you senselessly murdered nature
- 00:05:28,223 --> 00:05:29,491 to decorate your house.
- 00:05:29,491 --> 00:05:31,530 Get rid of them. - By your analogy,
- 00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,667 that's murdering someone and then hiding the body.
- 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,105 Wouldn't it be better to display the body
- 00:05:36,105 --> 00:05:37,307 out of respect?
- 00:05:37,307 --> 00:05:39,211 Enemy at the gate!
- 00:05:39,211 --> 00:05:42,184 <i>[tense music]</i>
- 00:05:42,184 --> 00:05:47,294 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:05:47,294 --> 00:05:48,397 King Tyrannis.
- 00:05:48,397 --> 00:05:50,400 Queen Iris, welcome.
- 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,637 We'll sweep that up later.
- 00:05:51,637 --> 00:05:54,274 Typical human, sweeping nature aside
- 00:05:54,274 --> 00:05:55,678 whenever you feel like it.
- 00:05:55,678 --> 00:05:57,380 Typical nature attitude,
- 00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:59,452 pooping on our nice stone floor.
- 00:05:59,452 --> 00:06:01,523 Stupe, don't you have an army to train?
- 00:06:01,523 --> 00:06:04,228 Yeah, we're learning how to kill birds today.
- 00:06:04,228 --> 00:06:07,034 I've got a stork with a sword with your name on it.
- 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:07,969 - [growling] - We're here
- 00:06:07,969 --> 00:06:09,138 to negotiate, remember?
- 00:06:09,138 --> 00:06:11,075 We'll negotiate with the survivors.
- 00:06:11,075 --> 00:06:14,682 There won't be any survivors once the gods get involved.
- 00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:16,586 Deliria!
- 00:06:16,586 --> 00:06:18,691 - Pan! - How long has it been?
- 00:06:18,691 --> 00:06:20,761 The war that wiped out the Felicians, I think.
- 00:06:20,761 --> 00:06:22,532 I never heard of the Felicians.
- 00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:25,136 Exactly. Nature won that one.
- 00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:26,906 Bye, Felicians.
- 00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:30,113 Good news. This fellow enjoys beer.
- 00:06:30,113 --> 00:06:32,552 And if anyone needs us, we'll be unreachable.
- 00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:34,589 Come, Bartleby. [Bartleby lows]
- 00:06:35,323 --> 00:06:38,764 So what can we do to make peace between our nations?
- 00:06:38,764 --> 00:06:41,503 Humans must cease all expansion into the forest.
- 00:06:41,503 --> 00:06:43,607 W-wh--uh, what my queen means is--
- 00:06:43,607 --> 00:06:44,842 I'm running a civilization.
- 00:06:44,842 --> 00:06:46,613 Expansion is part of the package.
- 00:06:46,613 --> 00:06:48,618 So expand into the mountain.
- 00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:50,420 The mountain trolls would love that.
- 00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:51,289 So you care about
- 00:06:51,289 --> 00:06:53,159 the mountain trolls more than the nymphs?
- 00:06:53,159 --> 00:06:54,596 I don't care about any of you,
- 00:06:54,596 --> 00:06:55,965 and I wish you were all dead!
- 00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:58,571 This is just how it started with the Felicians.
- 00:06:58,571 --> 00:07:01,743 Honestly, I prefer their city as a giant flaming sinkhole.
- 00:07:01,743 --> 00:07:03,681 Look, let's all calm down.
- 00:07:03,681 --> 00:07:05,250 Nature has some good points...
- 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,958 - [growls] - But is also very bad.
- 00:07:08,958 --> 00:07:12,565 Uh, bad where you see where they're coming from.
- 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,301 I think Daphne had something to say.
- 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,103 Why do you care?
- 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,472 Is something going on between you two?
- 00:07:16,472 --> 00:07:17,876 No. I don't care
- 00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:20,213 what the stupid tree girl has to say.
- 00:07:20,213 --> 00:07:21,950 So that's how you think of us?
- 00:07:21,950 --> 00:07:23,520 Stupid tree girls?
- 00:07:23,621 --> 00:07:25,658 I think Hippo was trying to say--
- 00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:26,927 Hippo? Since when are you
- 00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:29,331 on a first-name basis with the fish freak?
- 00:07:29,331 --> 00:07:30,968 That freak is my brother!
- 00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:32,739 Yeah, only we can call him freak.
- 00:07:32,739 --> 00:07:34,910 And do you think "Campus" is a surname?
- 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,780 Look, the fact is, we can hate each other
- 00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:38,784 all we want, but if we go to war,
- 00:07:38,784 --> 00:07:42,490 the gods will get involved, and we'll all die.
- 00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:44,796 So we need to find a way to coexist.
- 00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:46,099 Why would we get involved?
- 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,738 Because you're the god protector of the city,
- 00:07:48,738 --> 00:07:51,777 because any attack on the city is an attack on you.
- 00:07:51,877 --> 00:07:53,412 I get the logic of what you're saying,
- 00:07:53,412 --> 00:07:54,616 but I don't feel it.
- 00:07:54,616 --> 00:07:56,853 Pan, protector of nature,
- 00:07:56,853 --> 00:07:59,291 surely any attack on nature would be met by you
- 00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:01,195 with swift and total annihilation.
- 00:08:01,195 --> 00:08:03,934 Swift and total? I mean, I'll dabble in war,
- 00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:05,838 but it's so much more fun to watch.
- 00:08:05,838 --> 00:08:07,407 Even if the forest is destroyed?
- 00:08:07,407 --> 00:08:08,578 I'll build a new forest.
- 00:08:08,578 --> 00:08:09,746 What's a thousand years?
- 00:08:09,746 --> 00:08:11,015 About a thousand years longer
- 00:08:11,015 --> 00:08:12,852 than it took them to build this city.
- 00:08:12,852 --> 00:08:14,856 Hang on. So the only reason we weren't
- 00:08:14,856 --> 00:08:17,729 destroying nature is because that god would crush us.
- 00:08:17,729 --> 00:08:19,665 But now he's saying he doesn't care?
- 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,435 No, that's not what he's saying.
- 00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,072 It's the gist.
- 00:08:23,072 --> 00:08:24,576 - [grunts] - [groans]
- 00:08:24,576 --> 00:08:27,281 Look, their god didn't do anything.
- 00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:28,551 But she's about to.
- 00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,788 She certainly is not.
- 00:08:30,788 --> 00:08:33,259 Well, this meeting gave us all a lot to think about.
- 00:08:33,259 --> 00:08:34,461 Thank you for your time. We'll just--
- 00:08:34,461 --> 00:08:36,767 Jacob? Curtis? Anthony?
- 00:08:36,867 --> 00:08:39,706 The time for negotiation is over!
- 00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:42,277 This is why I said "enemies at the gate."
- 00:08:42,277 --> 00:08:44,315 No, wait!
- 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,118 Whoa! - [yells]
- 00:08:46,118 --> 00:08:48,624 This is fine. We can still save this.
- 00:08:48,624 --> 00:08:49,992 [grunts]
- 00:08:50,961 --> 00:08:53,333 [growling]
- 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,169 To war!
- 00:08:56,607 --> 00:08:57,875 Or not.
- 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:01,783 [screams]
- 00:09:01,783 --> 00:09:04,121 No, please don't. Please--aah!
- 00:09:06,191 --> 00:09:10,735 <i>And so passed the second war of man versus nature.</i>
- 00:09:10,735 --> 00:09:12,471 <i>There were many battles.</i>
- 00:09:12,471 --> 00:09:13,774 <i>Man versus nymphs.</i>
- 00:09:13,774 --> 00:09:15,744 <i>Man versus bears.</i>
- 00:09:15,744 --> 00:09:17,381 <i>Boy versus tree.</i>
- 00:09:17,381 --> 00:09:21,823 <i>Man versus horse while three dogs and a rabbit watch.</i>
- 00:09:21,823 --> 00:09:24,562 <i>Stupendous led the army of man</i>
- 00:09:24,562 --> 00:09:27,836 <i>and found an equal in her rival, Thea.</i>
- 00:09:27,836 --> 00:09:29,939 [groans and grunts]
- 00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,745 <i>King Tyrannis adopted a new persona</i>
- 00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:35,083 <i>the local vases called War King,</i>
- 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,688 <i>enjoying 90% approval from the people.</i>
- 00:09:37,688 --> 00:09:40,761 <i>He also grew a beard, which got 5% approval.</i>
- 00:09:40,761 --> 00:09:42,965 <i>And Hippo served as a strategist,</i>
- 00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:45,069 <i>devising weapons and tactics</i>
- 00:09:45,069 --> 00:09:47,642 <i>to defeat nature with brutal efficiency.</i>
- 00:09:47,642 --> 00:09:49,144 [all gasp]
- 00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:53,720 Ooh, sorry.
- 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,526 I've got a weapon to take care of your mud monster rival.
- 00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:58,096 I call it a jar.
- 00:09:58,096 --> 00:10:01,068 Just scoop her into this and close the lid.
- 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,304 Problem solved.
- 00:10:02,304 --> 00:10:04,141 - Cool. - None of this is cool,
- 00:10:04,141 --> 00:10:06,245 aside from my beard, which is very cool.
- 00:10:06,245 --> 00:10:07,448 Falcon!
- 00:10:07,448 --> 00:10:09,986 Don't mind me, just grabbing some snacks.
- 00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:12,057 Mother, can you not fly into the castle
- 00:10:12,057 --> 00:10:15,030 as something from nature while we're being killed by nature?
- 00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:17,568 But everything that flies is from nature.
- 00:10:17,568 --> 00:10:18,971 It's a huge advantage.
- 00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:20,407 It was a terrible idea to fight them.
- 00:10:20,407 --> 00:10:23,379 And it would be a great idea for you to help us.
- 00:10:23,379 --> 00:10:26,051 If I intervened every time there was a war in the city,
- 00:10:26,151 --> 00:10:28,890 you'd never learn anything and I'd never get any me time.
- 00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:30,962 You realize we could die in this war,
- 00:10:30,962 --> 00:10:34,603 and you would feel so, so, so sad.
- 00:10:34,603 --> 00:10:35,804 Oh, don't be so dramatic.
- 00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:38,142 Human with wings.
- 00:10:38,142 --> 00:10:40,581 You see? You see how stupid this looks?
- 00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:43,053 Eagle.
- 00:10:43,053 --> 00:10:45,190 I'm glad someone is having a good time.
- 00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:47,896 Aren't you, like, more popular than ever?
- 00:10:47,896 --> 00:10:49,532 Yes, but it's mostly because all the people
- 00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:52,270 who hated me were in the army, and they're mostly dead now.
- 00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,842 I've had to recruit a lot of children.
- 00:10:54,842 --> 00:10:56,245 My point is, we can't go on like this.
- 00:10:56,245 --> 00:10:58,483 We need to do something bold, decisive,
- 00:10:58,483 --> 00:10:59,418 recklessly permanent.
- 00:10:59,519 --> 00:11:01,756 What, like poison the mouth of the river
- 00:11:01,756 --> 00:11:03,961 that feeds the forest, killing all the trees and plants
- 00:11:03,961 --> 00:11:05,898 and the wildlife that eats the trees and plants?
- 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:07,201 Can you do that?
- 00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:08,904 I can do anything.
- 00:11:08,904 --> 00:11:10,875 The question of whether I should is more of a--
- 00:11:10,875 --> 00:11:12,912 - Do it! - Yes, do it, please.
- 00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:15,416 Do we really have to go this deep into the forest?
- 00:11:15,416 --> 00:11:16,351 That depends.
- 00:11:16,485 --> 00:11:18,288 Do you want to poison the mouth of the river
- 00:11:18,288 --> 00:11:21,262 or some middle point in the river that doesn't matter?
- 00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:23,667 Do you have to answer an honest question
- 00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,604 in such an insulting way?
- 00:11:25,604 --> 00:11:28,009 Wait! Don't step there.
- 00:11:28,009 --> 00:11:30,146 The smooth stones are traps.
- 00:11:31,883 --> 00:11:33,286 How did you know that?
- 00:11:33,286 --> 00:11:35,490 I just know things.
- 00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:37,427 [groans]
- 00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:39,832 <i>[eerie music]</i>
- 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,770 [birds chirping]
- 00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:43,038 Sparrows.
- 00:11:43,038 --> 00:11:43,907 Run!
- 00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:47,548 [people screaming]
- 00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:50,654 [panting]
- 00:11:50,654 --> 00:11:52,090 [yells]
- 00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:55,296 [panting]
- 00:11:58,035 --> 00:11:59,305 Hippo, it's been a while.
- 00:11:59,305 --> 00:12:01,475 What are you doing down here, Daphne?
- 00:12:01,475 --> 00:12:03,680 We said things we learned while we were together
- 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,116 were off limits.
- 00:12:05,116 --> 00:12:07,655 Mm, like the location of our traps?
- 00:12:07,655 --> 00:12:09,357 So I know about the traps.
- 00:12:09,357 --> 00:12:11,896 You seriously expect me to walk straight into one
- 00:12:11,896 --> 00:12:13,934 out of respect for our relationship?
- 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,439 This is a violation.
- 00:12:16,439 --> 00:12:18,242 My secret bunker?
- 00:12:18,242 --> 00:12:19,311 [scoffs] Oh, please.
- 00:12:19,311 --> 00:12:21,148 I know how to be an adult.
- 00:12:21,148 --> 00:12:23,452 I came here because you're clearly holding grudges
- 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,524 and playing dirty because you're an emotional person.
- 00:12:25,524 --> 00:12:27,829 What were you doing this deep in the woods, Hippo?
- 00:12:27,829 --> 00:12:28,831 Nothing. I--
- 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,835 [grunts]
- 00:12:30,835 --> 00:12:32,905 Careful with that.
- 00:12:32,905 --> 00:12:34,609 It's plant poison.
- 00:12:34,609 --> 00:12:35,678 It's what?
- 00:12:35,678 --> 00:12:36,713 What were you gonna do?
- 00:12:36,813 --> 00:12:39,719 Okay, okay, I know it looks potentially bad, but--
- 00:12:39,719 --> 00:12:41,055 [both grunting]
- 00:12:41,055 --> 00:12:42,023 [yells]
- 00:12:42,023 --> 00:12:44,261 Not seeing a lot of poisoning.
- 00:12:44,261 --> 00:12:46,599 [swords clashing] - We got ambushed by sparrows.
- 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,037 - Aah! - Don't worry, I got even.
- 00:12:49,037 --> 00:12:51,008 The mission failed? Where's Hippo?
- 00:12:51,008 --> 00:12:53,112 Not sure. Probably in one of his tunnels
- 00:12:53,112 --> 00:12:54,549 we're not supposed to know about.
- 00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:56,018 This war is never going to end.
- 00:12:56,018 --> 00:12:57,387 Not without an act of god
- 00:12:57,387 --> 00:13:00,126 that the gods don't seem to care about doing.
- 00:13:00,126 --> 00:13:01,763 [both laughing] - I forgot we had elephants
- 00:13:01,763 --> 00:13:02,799 in this forest.
- 00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:04,367 [elephants trumpeting]
- 00:13:05,838 --> 00:13:07,842 [grunts]
- 00:13:07,842 --> 00:13:10,313 [elephant trumpets]
- 00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:12,719 Mother, are you really just going to sit there
- 00:13:12,719 --> 00:13:15,023 while a war with nature ravages our city
- 00:13:15,023 --> 00:13:16,526 and my approval ratings?
- 00:13:16,526 --> 00:13:18,597 I hadn't realized you cared.
- 00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:20,734 Yes, I am. - Unless she has to go
- 00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:22,170 and get more milk and honey.
- 00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:24,040 Someone here has a sweet tooth.
- 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,046 You had just as much milk and honey as I did.
- 00:13:27,046 --> 00:13:28,817 Haven't you heard of divine intervention?
- 00:13:28,917 --> 00:13:30,186 Why would that even be a term
- 00:13:30,186 --> 00:13:31,957 if the divine don't ever intervene?
- 00:13:31,957 --> 00:13:33,694 We intervene when it matters.
- 00:13:33,794 --> 00:13:34,495 And when is that?
- 00:13:34,662 --> 00:13:36,231 When something personally offends us.
- 00:13:36,231 --> 00:13:37,100 Or on a dare--
- 00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,469 From a god we respect.
- 00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,607 Right, a respected god dare.
- 00:13:40,607 --> 00:13:43,681 Even then, you run the risk of making Zeus mad,
- 00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:44,949 and nobody wants that.
- 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,351 It's safer just to stay out of it.
- 00:13:46,351 --> 00:13:48,423 I dare you to tell him about Zeus.
- 00:13:48,524 --> 00:13:51,830 We said "respected god dare."
- 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,499 But what about Zeus?
- 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:57,006 Why don't we see what's going on the other side of the war?
- 00:13:57,006 --> 00:13:59,144 Are you trying to change the subject?
- 00:13:59,144 --> 00:14:02,785 What don't you want me to know about Zeus?
- 00:14:02,785 --> 00:14:03,821 Tell him, Mom.
- 00:14:03,821 --> 00:14:06,024 Yeah, tell him, Mom.
- 00:14:06,024 --> 00:14:10,400 How dare you trivialize motherhood?
- 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,705 And that's how you--
- 00:14:12,705 --> 00:14:15,143 [grunts]
- 00:14:15,143 --> 00:14:19,218 How you what? Send Mom on a rampage?
- 00:14:19,218 --> 00:14:20,521 [panting]
- 00:14:20,521 --> 00:14:21,989 [grunts]
- 00:14:21,989 --> 00:14:24,461 This is for the deer and the pelicans
- 00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:25,764 and the blackberry bushes.
- 00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:27,735 I didn't touch the blackberry bushes.
- 00:14:27,735 --> 00:14:29,170 I love blackberries.
- 00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:31,843 [grunts] [glass shatters]
- 00:14:31,843 --> 00:14:33,580 You're lucky I don't kill you.
- 00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:34,481 Go ahead.
- 00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:35,951 God, don't be such a baby.
- 00:14:35,951 --> 00:14:37,421 I'll get your spare helmet.
- 00:14:37,421 --> 00:14:39,290 This is my spare.
- 00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:41,662 Well, it would serve you right if I just left you here.
- 00:14:41,662 --> 00:14:42,665 I don't care.
- 00:14:42,665 --> 00:14:43,767 I don't need anybody.
- 00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:45,403 That's why this place exists.
- 00:14:45,403 --> 00:14:47,742 Great, bye.
- 00:14:47,742 --> 00:14:50,748 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
- 00:14:50,748 --> 00:14:53,753 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:55,422 [groans] Just tell me how to help you.
- 00:14:55,422 --> 00:14:57,594 There's an emergency backup spare
- 00:14:57,594 --> 00:15:00,332 in my emergency backup bunker.
- 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,138 You have a bunker in your bunker?
- 00:15:03,138 --> 00:15:05,143 Does that seem like it was overkill,
- 00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:08,215 Miss Comes Over Whenever She Wants?
- 00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:13,894 Thanks. The spare is over by the tree.
- 00:15:13,894 --> 00:15:14,929 Then you can go.
- 00:15:14,929 --> 00:15:16,700 Why is this here?
- 00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,604 Uh, aesthetics?
- 00:15:18,604 --> 00:15:22,845 The exact species of tree I need to survive?
- 00:15:22,845 --> 00:15:24,549 Damn it, I like you.
- 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,384 Well, I like you too.
- 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,089 Oh, man.
- 00:15:28,089 --> 00:15:29,625 <i>[pleasant harp music]</i>
- 00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:30,661 [water splashes]
- 00:15:30,661 --> 00:15:31,896 [both moaning]
- 00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:33,499 Ah! Ah! [elephant trumpets]
- 00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:38,610 Well, crap.
- 00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,113 - Yeah. - How did this happen?
- 00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,482 We were the smart ones!
- 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,852 It was meaningless sex.
- 00:15:42,852 --> 00:15:45,056 At some point, I guess it changed.
- 00:15:45,056 --> 00:15:47,227 Probably when we started making eye contact.
- 00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:49,030 That was an amazing day.
- 00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,734 [gasps] Crap, that was the day.
- 00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:52,003 What do we do? - I don't know,
- 00:15:52,003 --> 00:15:54,140 but I know I don't want to stop doing this.
- 00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:56,077 Well, hold on. We're practical people.
- 00:15:56,077 --> 00:15:59,051 What's the thing that we really don't like about being--
- 00:15:59,051 --> 00:16:01,122 ugh--emotionally entangled?
- 00:16:01,122 --> 00:16:02,323 We can't control it.
- 00:16:02,323 --> 00:16:03,726 Exactly. So if we're smart,
- 00:16:03,726 --> 00:16:06,666 we accept it because what other option do we have?
- 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,737 You're right. That's the scientific way.
- 00:16:08,737 --> 00:16:11,609 We say, here's what we know, and we move forward.
- 00:16:11,609 --> 00:16:13,012 That's nature's way too.
- 00:16:13,012 --> 00:16:14,214 We don't sit around whining
- 00:16:14,214 --> 00:16:15,684 about soil content of our biome.
- 00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:18,189 We take the information and grow accordingly.
- 00:16:18,189 --> 00:16:19,825 This is kind of a relief.
- 00:16:19,825 --> 00:16:22,497 I mean, I guess we were just putting a lot of energy
- 00:16:22,497 --> 00:16:24,869 into avoiding this, and now we can just
- 00:16:24,869 --> 00:16:26,840 convert that energy into something else.
- 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,010 There's certainly plenty of other stuff we can worry about,
- 00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:31,181 like the fact that there's a war going on.
- 00:16:31,181 --> 00:16:32,852 I don't want you going back up there.
- 00:16:32,852 --> 00:16:35,490 I don't want <i>you</i> going back up there.
- 00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:38,362 Unless-- - We go back up there together
- 00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:41,803 and stop the war because you're my girlfriend.
- 00:16:41,803 --> 00:16:43,205 [loud crashing] [both scream]
- 00:16:46,879 --> 00:16:48,316 Oh, god!
- 00:16:48,316 --> 00:16:49,719 I always wondered if gods had--
- 00:16:49,719 --> 00:16:52,090 They do, they really do.
- 00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,459 Anyway, you were saying--
- 00:16:53,459 --> 00:16:55,363 Too much.
- 00:16:55,363 --> 00:16:56,198 I love you.
- 00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:59,037 Let's stop a war.
- 00:16:59,037 --> 00:17:01,074 Deliria, what are you doing?
- 00:17:01,074 --> 00:17:03,981 That's my flora and my fauna!
- 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,750 I have been insulted,
- 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,256 and that outweighs anything and everything else,
- 00:17:08,256 --> 00:17:09,959 including anything we happen to have been
- 00:17:09,959 --> 00:17:11,529 talking about when the offense occurred.
- 00:17:11,529 --> 00:17:13,634 At least stomp another part of the forest.
- 00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:15,938 That grove is home to the last of the dodos.
- 00:17:15,938 --> 00:17:18,209 How dare you tell me where to stop?
- 00:17:18,309 --> 00:17:20,714 Pulling Mother in may have been a mistake.
- 00:17:20,714 --> 00:17:23,085 Are you kidding? We finally got 'em on the run.
- 00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,789 Stomp those birds!
- 00:17:24,789 --> 00:17:26,057 Go, wife!
- 00:17:27,059 --> 00:17:28,563 [birds chirping]
- 00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:30,266 You're just gonna let her drive
- 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,403 a precious bird to extinction?
- 00:17:32,403 --> 00:17:35,009 No one wants to live in a world without the dodo.
- 00:17:35,009 --> 00:17:36,378 Do something.
- 00:17:36,378 --> 00:17:39,284 That's it, no more Mr. Nice God.
- 00:17:39,284 --> 00:17:40,787 Oh, is that what you're known for?
- 00:17:40,787 --> 00:17:44,495 I thought it was rodents and lazy, improvised music.
- 00:17:44,495 --> 00:17:46,031 Lazy?
- 00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:48,503 [grunts]
- 00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:51,275 Mom, grow taller than him, then fight back!
- 00:17:51,275 --> 00:17:53,746 That's actually a really good idea.
- 00:17:55,349 --> 00:17:59,559 Kill everything with feathers or fur!
- 00:17:59,559 --> 00:18:02,731 [grunting]
- 00:18:08,977 --> 00:18:12,116 [grunting]
- 00:18:15,222 --> 00:18:16,158 [flies buzzing]
- 00:18:16,158 --> 00:18:17,160 [whimpers]
- 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:22,136 [crowd scuffling]
- 00:18:24,508 --> 00:18:26,947 We're gonna need a bigger negotiation table.
- 00:18:26,947 --> 00:18:28,717 Mom, stop!
- 00:18:28,717 --> 00:18:30,887 We can resolve this amicably!
- 00:18:30,887 --> 00:18:34,996 How would you like it if I insulted your horns?
- 00:18:34,996 --> 00:18:37,333 The idea that there's anything to insult
- 00:18:37,433 --> 00:18:39,037 is incredibly insulting.
- 00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:40,641 Well, good.
- 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:41,543 She can't hear me.
- 00:18:41,543 --> 00:18:44,181 They're all past hearing reason.
- 00:18:44,281 --> 00:18:46,451 Maybe shocking them will get their attention.
- 00:18:46,451 --> 00:18:48,388 - What do you have in mind? - Kiss me.
- 00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:49,859 But you can't take your bowl off here.
- 00:18:49,859 --> 00:18:51,228 Kiss me through the glass.
- 00:18:51,228 --> 00:18:52,665 Really? Won't that be weird?
- 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,499 Exactly.
- 00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,302 Just think about river sex.
- 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,374 [both moaning]
- 00:18:57,374 --> 00:18:59,344 [creature chirring]
- 00:18:59,344 --> 00:19:01,115 It's working. Keep going.
- 00:19:01,115 --> 00:19:03,920 My and your pleasure.
- 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:04,922 [moaning]
- 00:19:04,922 --> 00:19:05,991 Daphne?
- 00:19:05,991 --> 00:19:07,628 Hippo?
- 00:19:07,628 --> 00:19:08,629 Hang on.
- 00:19:08,629 --> 00:19:10,132 Are they not fighting down there?
- 00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:11,435 You have to do some work
- 00:19:11,435 --> 00:19:13,105 or I'll just step on all of you.
- 00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:16,946 Is that your son and my forest daughter?
- 00:19:16,946 --> 00:19:19,450 Hippo? You better be hurting her.
- 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,286 I'm not.
- 00:19:20,286 --> 00:19:21,321 I don't think I am.
- 00:19:21,321 --> 00:19:23,058 Am I? - Nope.
- 00:19:23,058 --> 00:19:24,595 [crowd grumbling]
- 00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:26,699 Hippo, why are you kissing Daphne through glass?
- 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,636 We're proving that life is messy.
- 00:19:28,636 --> 00:19:30,974 You're all choosing fighting over coexisting
- 00:19:30,974 --> 00:19:32,277 because it's safer.
- 00:19:32,277 --> 00:19:33,846 But look where it leads.
- 00:19:33,846 --> 00:19:36,484 But why are you kissing her through glass?
- 00:19:36,484 --> 00:19:38,857 Real bravery comes from doing something imperfect
- 00:19:38,857 --> 00:19:41,729 and fixing it as you go, because it's worth it.
- 00:19:41,829 --> 00:19:44,033 And that's what humans and nature have to do,
- 00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:47,273 build a world together with all the messiness that entails
- 00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,144 because we need each other.
- 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,214 This is gross
- 00:19:51,214 --> 00:19:53,586 but also inspiring?
- 00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:56,124 Daphne, does this mean you're not interested
- 00:19:56,124 --> 00:19:57,226 in going on a date later?
- 00:19:57,226 --> 00:19:58,697 Oh, no, I'm not.
- 00:19:58,697 --> 00:19:59,632 Okay.
- 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:01,367 Honestly, it's just nice to have closure.
- 00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,038 You can have your sister back.
- 00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:05,511 I think the mouth jar has a red lid.
- 00:20:05,511 --> 00:20:07,848 The war is over. From this day forward,
- 00:20:07,848 --> 00:20:09,484 nature and man will coexist,
- 00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:11,522 seeking an ever more perfect union
- 00:20:11,522 --> 00:20:14,662 which we will likely achieve in 10 to 20 years.
- 00:20:14,662 --> 00:20:16,164 [crowd cheers]
- 00:20:16,164 --> 00:20:18,603 You know, we didn't actually solve anything.
- 00:20:18,603 --> 00:20:19,505 We solved us.
- 00:20:19,505 --> 00:20:20,974 We'll figure out the rest as we go.
- 00:20:21,075 --> 00:20:23,011 And in the meantime, how about we say,
- 00:20:23,011 --> 00:20:24,548 uh, humans can camp in the woods
- 00:20:24,548 --> 00:20:26,285 to make sure nature isn't overstepping
- 00:20:26,285 --> 00:20:29,024 and dogs will live with humans to spy on 'em.
- 00:20:29,024 --> 00:20:30,927 - They already do that. - All right.
- 00:20:30,927 --> 00:20:32,898 Cats? - Deal.
- 00:20:36,005 --> 00:20:37,406 <i>[soft futuristic music]</i>
- 00:20:37,406 --> 00:20:38,576 Are you depressed?
- 00:20:38,576 --> 00:20:40,212 Is making your way in the world
- 00:20:40,212 --> 00:20:42,651 in the present taking everything you have?
- 00:20:42,651 --> 00:20:46,058 Then you need to come down to the Yak Shack.
- 00:20:46,058 --> 00:20:47,260 [lows]
- 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:50,032 That's right, Krapopolis' newest bar
- 00:20:50,032 --> 00:20:52,671 is co-owned by man and nature
- 00:20:52,671 --> 00:20:55,310 and the perfect place to forget your sorrows
- 00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:56,712 and also your joys,
- 00:20:56,712 --> 00:21:00,053 whether you're a human man or a bearish bear.
- 00:21:00,153 --> 00:21:02,390 [lows]
- 00:21:02,390 --> 00:21:03,593 That's right, Bartleby.
- 00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:05,697 And don't forget, here at the Yak Shack,
- 00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:08,102 your first and tenth beer are free.
- 00:21:08,102 --> 00:21:10,272 I should know. I'm not just the owner,
- 00:21:10,272 --> 00:21:12,511 I'm also the customer.
- 00:21:12,511 --> 00:21:15,884 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:25,503 What was that? And why did we have
- 00:21:25,503 --> 00:21:27,072 to stand here for the whole thing?
- 00:21:27,072 --> 00:21:29,645 Who cares? The tenth beer is free!
- 00:21:29,845 --> 00:21:30,947 [crowd cheers]
- 00:21:31,147 --> 00:21:32,784 <i>Did you get any of that?</i>
- 00:21:35,089 --> 00:21:36,759 <i>Bento.</i> [all cheer]
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