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Затмение
Eclipse
Сезон: 01Серия: 16
Описание
Происходит солнечное затмение. Делирия утверждает Тиндарю, что солнечное затмение — результат приказа Зевса Аполлону поставить Луну перед Солнцем. Гермес заявляет, что олимпийцы разгневались на Делирию и нужны на горе Олимп. Прибывают Аполлон, Арес, Афина и Гефест, сообщая, что Зевс пропал, поскольку Аполлон утверждает, что его сестра управляет Луной, и замерзает, пытаясь переместить Солнце, потому что рядом нет воздуха. Поскольку никто не знает, как устроено небо, Гиппокамп и Гефест изучают его и создают программу. Арес ухаживает за Ступендусом, Делирия предполагает, что Афина пользуется Тираннисом, чтобы доказать Зевсу свою состоятельность, а Шлуб и Аполлон вспоминают времена, когда они еще были участниками музыкальной группы.
Субтитры
- 00:00:06,547 --> 00:00:10,154 Mom! Mom, Mom! The world is ending!
- 00:00:10,154 --> 00:00:12,525 - No, it's just a hangover. - I'm serious.
- 00:00:12,525 --> 00:00:14,563 The moon is headed straight into the sun!
- 00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:17,201 It's called an eclipse. It happens.
- 00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:18,571 - Not in my lifetime! - Right.
- 00:00:18,571 --> 00:00:22,078 How long do you borndeads live again, 10, 30 years?
- 00:00:22,078 --> 00:00:23,881 If we eat right and stay indoors.
- 00:00:23,881 --> 00:00:25,150 So the world isn't ending?
- 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,055 Oh, must everything you don't understand
- 00:00:27,055 --> 00:00:28,256 become a folk tale?
- 00:00:28,256 --> 00:00:30,227 Do you want to know what an eclipse really is?
- 00:00:30,227 --> 00:00:32,833 Because you are about to feel very silly.
- 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,170 Apparently when Zeus gets angry,
- 00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:37,976 he has Apollo park the sun behind the moon
- 00:00:37,976 --> 00:00:40,582 until he feels better?
- 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,587 Really? Who expresses anxiety like that?
- 00:00:43,587 --> 00:00:46,493 A guy that turns into a swan to have sex?
- 00:00:46,493 --> 00:00:48,363 At any rate, sounds like a god problem.
- 00:00:48,363 --> 00:00:50,267 All the same, for the sake of science,
- 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,504 I'll have my people keep observing.
- 00:00:51,504 --> 00:00:54,108 Hmm? Thanks for the update.
- 00:00:54,108 --> 00:00:56,145 New eclipse rule: we can't keep observing.
- 00:00:56,145 --> 00:00:58,016 Ow.
- 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:01,624 <i>Oh! Ow! Aah.</i>
- 00:01:01,724 --> 00:01:04,362 At least I can tell the city there's no need to panic.
- 00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:06,501 Um, hi, the gods are blaming your mother
- 00:01:06,601 --> 00:01:08,771 for this eclipse and might destroy your city.
- 00:01:08,771 --> 00:01:10,642 Byeee.
- 00:01:10,642 --> 00:01:13,581 At least I don't have to interrupt the city mid-panic.
- 00:01:34,723 --> 00:01:38,731 <i>Whoo!</i>
- 00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,168 What is happening?
- 00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,373 Look at it!
- 00:01:43,373 --> 00:01:44,710 What are your biggest regrets?
- 00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:47,649 I never invented flight. - I never had a family.
- 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:50,353 I never got to see our city stop falling apart.
- 00:01:50,353 --> 00:01:52,257 That was your big wish? Family?
- 00:01:52,257 --> 00:01:53,828 Animals have family.
- 00:01:53,828 --> 00:01:54,963 They also have flight.
- 00:01:54,963 --> 00:01:58,236 You're right. I wanted a family too!
- 00:01:58,236 --> 00:02:00,007 Hello, kids. World's ending.
- 00:02:00,007 --> 00:02:01,510 Who wants to get high?
- 00:02:01,510 --> 00:02:03,881 We're sharing regrets, Dad, and there's a lot of longing,
- 00:02:03,881 --> 00:02:05,450 among your children, for family.
- 00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:08,456 Perhaps you regret not hearing my offer to get high?
- 00:02:08,456 --> 00:02:10,762 Is Hermes wrestling with Mom?
- 00:02:10,762 --> 00:02:14,201 Unless it's consensual, I won't simply watch.
- 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,771 Hermes, unhand me!
- 00:02:15,771 --> 00:02:17,742 I'm just doing my job, Deliria.
- 00:02:17,842 --> 00:02:20,548 Olympus has summoned you. - Well, tell Olympus
- 00:02:20,548 --> 00:02:23,320 they are counter-summoned to my ass!
- 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:26,794 - For realsies? - For absolutesies.
- 00:02:26,894 --> 00:02:28,363 Okay, fine.
- 00:02:28,363 --> 00:02:29,700 What's this about, my love?
- 00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:32,672 My extended family of uptight inbreds thought
- 00:02:32,672 --> 00:02:36,079 they could summon me like a third-tier titan.
- 00:02:36,079 --> 00:02:37,315 Do you know what I said?
- 00:02:37,315 --> 00:02:38,884 You counter-summoned them to your ass?
- 00:02:38,884 --> 00:02:42,457 Yes! How did you--
- 00:02:42,457 --> 00:02:44,262 Oh, gods.
- 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,038 Open these badly designed gates.
- 00:02:52,645 --> 00:02:55,417 I have every scratch memorized.
- 00:02:58,924 --> 00:03:01,228 Ugh! Gross!
- 00:03:08,844 --> 00:03:12,184 What are you looking at? Don't look away. Look at me.
- 00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:15,825 Now tell me what you're looking at!
- 00:03:20,535 --> 00:03:23,406 Everyone with a killable body ought to head inside.
- 00:03:23,406 --> 00:03:26,212 Nah, I'm 35. I was dead soon anyway.
- 00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:27,682 Is that Apollo? How awkward.
- 00:03:27,682 --> 00:03:28,818 Because the sun's not working?
- 00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:31,524 No, he handled things poorly when our band broke up.
- 00:03:31,524 --> 00:03:33,861 - Hephaestus? - Hippocampus!
- 00:03:33,861 --> 00:03:34,662 - Shlub. - Apollo.
- 00:03:34,796 --> 00:03:36,633 Deliria, my father is clearly upset.
- 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,470 You were asked to Mount Olympus for questioning.
- 00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:40,173 Oh, I've been to questionings.
- 00:03:40,173 --> 00:03:41,276 Hard pass.
- 00:03:41,276 --> 00:03:43,079 It wasn't a request.
- 00:03:43,079 --> 00:03:46,085 She just said I was asked, dummy.
- 00:03:46,085 --> 00:03:47,221 - Slut. - Bully!
- 00:03:47,221 --> 00:03:48,658 Uh-uh-uh.
- 00:03:48,758 --> 00:03:51,462 I won't win, but I'll make you look real bad.
- 00:03:51,462 --> 00:03:52,999 Looks aren't everything.
- 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:55,371 Can we save the flirting until after we find him?
- 00:03:55,371 --> 00:03:57,375 Find him? Is Zeus missing?
- 00:03:57,375 --> 00:04:00,380 Ah-ga-ga! Not in front of worshippers.
- 00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:02,885 Yes, he is currently unreachable.
- 00:04:02,885 --> 00:04:05,424 And because you're an expert in pissing my father off--
- 00:04:05,424 --> 00:04:07,294 You keep calling him your father.
- 00:04:07,394 --> 00:04:09,198 Yeah, he fathered, like, most of us.
- 00:04:09,198 --> 00:04:10,568 And all by different mothers.
- 00:04:10,568 --> 00:04:12,639 Yet, weirdly, I'm the slut.
- 00:04:12,639 --> 00:04:14,375 Are you coming with us, Deliria?
- 00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:16,011 - What if I don't? - I'll kill every human
- 00:04:16,011 --> 00:04:17,549 in your city except your daughter,
- 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:18,984 and then I'll marry her.
- 00:04:18,984 --> 00:04:21,823 - So I'll be killing myself? - I'll marry your corpse.
- 00:04:21,823 --> 00:04:24,428 You'll walk down that aisle with my teeth in your crotch.
- 00:04:24,428 --> 00:04:25,765 Sounds like a beautiful ceremony!
- 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:28,403 Everybody, please! I'm King Tyrannis.
- 00:04:28,403 --> 00:04:30,340 And I'd like to welcome our esteemed gods
- 00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:31,442 to civilization--
- 00:04:31,442 --> 00:04:33,179 work in progress, pardon our dust.
- 00:04:33,179 --> 00:04:35,518 - Stop helping, Ty! - But since my mother
- 00:04:35,518 --> 00:04:38,591 was banished from Olympus by Zeus,
- 00:04:38,591 --> 00:04:41,596 her return there would be a defiance of Zeus' authority.
- 00:04:41,596 --> 00:04:43,133 So I guess we'd all need to know,
- 00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:46,172 who's making that call?
- 00:04:46,172 --> 00:04:47,408 Okay, you can help a little.
- 00:04:47,408 --> 00:04:49,045 Apollo, you talked to Dad. What did he say?
- 00:04:49,045 --> 00:04:51,917 What? I didn't talk to him. Don't put this on me, okay?
- 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:55,090 We agreed to blame the eclipse on Deliria being a slut.
- 00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:55,891 Good enough for me.
- 00:04:55,891 --> 00:04:57,762 Let's just kick her ass down here.
- 00:04:57,762 --> 00:04:58,864 No, no. Stop.
- 00:04:58,864 --> 00:04:59,867 If you didn't talk to him,
- 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,970 why did you put the sun behind the moon?
- 00:05:01,970 --> 00:05:04,241 Can we have this conversation somewhere else?
- 00:05:05,578 --> 00:05:07,114 - No, I don't think so. - No, we're having it here.
- 00:05:07,114 --> 00:05:09,719 I don't do eclipses, okay?
- 00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:12,091 I'm the sun. My sister's the moon.
- 00:05:12,091 --> 00:05:13,561 Dad runs the sky.
- 00:05:13,561 --> 00:05:17,468 That up there, that's got nothing to do with me.
- 00:05:17,468 --> 00:05:20,040 Except the sun part. I-I do control the sun.
- 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,743 That's established.
- 00:05:21,743 --> 00:05:24,649 Hi. Um, annoying science question.
- 00:05:24,649 --> 00:05:26,787 What if he's lying? - How dare you!
- 00:05:26,787 --> 00:05:29,292 How dare he! I control the sun, sir.
- 00:05:29,292 --> 00:05:30,661 It's my job.
- 00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:33,433 You're about to learn a harsh lesson, mortal.
- 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:34,268 Show him. - Show what?
- 00:05:34,268 --> 00:05:35,838 Go up and move the sun a little.
- 00:05:35,838 --> 00:05:37,408 Yeah, you don't have to end the eclipse.
- 00:05:37,408 --> 00:05:38,510 Just give the sun a jiggle.
- 00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:39,613 - Come on. - Go.
- 00:05:39,613 --> 00:05:42,151 Just move the sun a little bit.
- 00:05:42,151 --> 00:05:44,054 Aah!
- 00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:52,404 I think he may have just left.
- 00:05:52,404 --> 00:05:55,711 I think he's coming back down.
- 00:05:55,711 --> 00:05:57,682 He's coming down fast. Move!
- 00:05:57,682 --> 00:05:59,251 Move out the way!
- 00:05:59,251 --> 00:06:01,957 Aah!
- 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,037 Is he frozen?
- 00:06:09,037 --> 00:06:12,612 Why would he be colder closer to the sun?
- 00:06:12,612 --> 00:06:14,248 Well, I'm no science god,
- 00:06:14,348 --> 00:06:17,989 but I think it's because Deliria's a slut.
- 00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:25,605 When is the last time anyone actually saw Zeus?
- 00:06:25,605 --> 00:06:27,509 We barely saw him when he was around.
- 00:06:27,509 --> 00:06:29,311 He only came out of his office to yell at us
- 00:06:29,311 --> 00:06:30,481 about boundaries.
- 00:06:30,481 --> 00:06:33,186 Zeus has an office now? And boundaries?
- 00:06:33,186 --> 00:06:35,223 Both human inventions--glad to hear they're catching on.
- 00:06:35,223 --> 00:06:38,095 But he does know that the sun can't stay behind the moon
- 00:06:38,095 --> 00:06:40,701 or every human will eventually starve to death?
- 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,339 Of course your first thought is about every human.
- 00:06:43,339 --> 00:06:44,776 Pretty selfish, bro.
- 00:06:44,776 --> 00:06:46,179 What happened up there, Apollo?
- 00:06:46,179 --> 00:06:47,414 Did you touch the sun?
- 00:06:47,515 --> 00:06:48,650 I never got close.
- 00:06:48,650 --> 00:06:49,853 I flew as high as I could.
- 00:06:49,853 --> 00:06:52,290 And then I couldn't breathe, which is fine.
- 00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:53,794 I mean, who needs to breathe?
- 00:06:53,794 --> 00:06:55,632 - A lot of people. - Losers.
- 00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:58,336 But then I just-- went to sleep?
- 00:06:58,336 --> 00:06:59,639 Not fun sleep like after sex,
- 00:06:59,639 --> 00:07:02,244 like, a bad sleep I couldn't control.
- 00:07:02,244 --> 00:07:04,315 The way you never controlled the sun?
- 00:07:04,315 --> 00:07:05,851 This bitch.
- 00:07:05,851 --> 00:07:09,993 Yo, sis, none of our titles ever meant anything.
- 00:07:09,993 --> 00:07:13,366 Dad hands them out to keep us feeling important.
- 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,238 Maybe you were too busy symbolizing wisdom
- 00:07:16,238 --> 00:07:17,942 to figure that out.
- 00:07:17,942 --> 00:07:20,480 Shlub, take me somewhere I can thaw.
- 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:21,550 I never should have quit our band.
- 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,452 I'm really, really sorry.
- 00:07:23,452 --> 00:07:24,622 Don't be sorry for that,
- 00:07:24,622 --> 00:07:26,593 because you didn't quit our band.
- 00:07:26,593 --> 00:07:27,728 I did. - Wait, what?
- 00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:29,164 Well, since it turns out nobody knows
- 00:07:29,164 --> 00:07:32,304 how the sky works, I think it's time science stepped in.
- 00:07:32,304 --> 00:07:33,507 Yeah, Heph and I would like
- 00:07:33,507 --> 00:07:35,477 to develop some kind of sky program.
- 00:07:35,477 --> 00:07:36,479 - Approved. - I don't like
- 00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:37,615 the sound of that.
- 00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:39,185 Oh, it's just until we find out
- 00:07:39,185 --> 00:07:40,120 what's above the sky.
- 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,358 Then we'll rename the program after that,
- 00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:43,560 and it'll sound cooler.
- 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,863 I don't like agreeing with Ares,
- 00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:48,035 but is our new goal to actively piss off Zeus?
- 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,973 How long are his feelings going to stay important
- 00:07:49,973 --> 00:07:51,777 if he can't be bothered to show up?
- 00:07:51,877 --> 00:07:54,048 Ty, I cannot protect you from him.
- 00:07:54,048 --> 00:07:57,120 That's obvious. The guy can turn off the sun!
- 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,491 He's got every living thing facing extinction
- 00:07:59,491 --> 00:08:00,962 except a handful of immortals
- 00:08:00,962 --> 00:08:03,333 that are kissing his ass for fake jobs!
- 00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:04,635 Hey, my job is real.
- 00:08:04,635 --> 00:08:06,807 War is who I am and what I do.
- 00:08:06,807 --> 00:08:09,779 Wherever I go, conflict arises.
- 00:08:09,779 --> 00:08:12,217 Are you sure that's not just being a dick?
- 00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:14,555 Ah!
- 00:08:14,555 --> 00:08:17,728 He's a king minding his kingdom.
- 00:08:17,728 --> 00:08:19,966 Go make yourself useful. Don't ask me where.
- 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,103 Oh, I see what's happening here.
- 00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:25,678 Smash the patriarchy? Down with all penises?
- 00:08:25,678 --> 00:08:27,515 What? How did you get there from here?
- 00:08:27,515 --> 00:08:28,884 I don't have to stand here and explain
- 00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:30,755 that women are the real sexists
- 00:08:30,755 --> 00:08:32,625 when I could be hitting on her daughter.
- 00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:36,165 Ha ha, victory-- God of War!
- 00:08:36,165 --> 00:08:39,806 - I'll protect you. - You will, will you?
- 00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:43,614 Um, she just did. She physically blocked a sword.
- 00:08:43,614 --> 00:08:44,749 I was going to block it.
- 00:08:44,749 --> 00:08:46,485 Well, you played that pretty cool!
- 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,322 Hmm, we're gathering here now?
- 00:08:48,322 --> 00:08:49,959 Is Krapopolis the new Olympus?
- 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:50,928 - No. - Yes.
- 00:08:50,928 --> 00:08:53,199 I think even gods need some air.
- 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,905 I tried holding my breath once. Made it a few days.
- 00:08:55,905 --> 00:08:57,775 - What happened? - My dad laughed and said,
- 00:08:57,775 --> 00:08:59,277 "It was a figure of speech, ugly.
- 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:02,117 I'll never love you," but I also got lightheaded.
- 00:09:02,117 --> 00:09:05,892 And Apollo passed out because above the sky, there's no air.
- 00:09:05,892 --> 00:09:08,363 And no air, no heat, so he froze.
- 00:09:08,363 --> 00:09:13,105 We need a shell, sealed so tight that air stays inside,
- 00:09:13,105 --> 00:09:15,443 and we put it on top of a few dozen barrels
- 00:09:15,443 --> 00:09:16,947 of my explosion dust.
- 00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:18,684 How strong is this shell?
- 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:20,988 I know a guy who works with rare metals.
- 00:09:20,988 --> 00:09:23,092 Handsome fella, lives in a volcano?
- 00:09:23,092 --> 00:09:25,531 Okay, and who goes inside the shell?
- 00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:28,035 Obviously a nut.
- 00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:29,940 Seriously, though, neither of us.
- 00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:31,844 What's with you?
- 00:09:31,844 --> 00:09:33,948 I'm not hiding, because that would be weak.
- 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,918 So I'm doing whatever strong people do
- 00:09:35,918 --> 00:09:37,822 when they're being relentlessly hit on
- 00:09:37,822 --> 00:09:40,193 by someone gross that can't die.
- 00:09:40,193 --> 00:09:41,697 both: Ares!
- 00:09:44,134 --> 00:09:45,838 You were always so good at noodling.
- 00:09:45,838 --> 00:09:48,844 'Cause I always went with the flow, my man.
- 00:09:48,844 --> 00:09:50,848 I would think truly going with the flow would include
- 00:09:50,848 --> 00:09:52,785 going with a collaborator's flow, but--
- 00:09:52,785 --> 00:09:55,925 Your flow was to overthink every song to death,
- 00:09:55,925 --> 00:09:58,329 you uptight, nitpicky poet!
- 00:09:58,329 --> 00:10:01,235 And now you're finishing ten songs a day, right?
- 00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:03,072 You drunk genius?
- 00:10:03,072 --> 00:10:06,647 I haven't played since we broke up.
- 00:10:06,747 --> 00:10:07,882 Me neither.
- 00:10:07,882 --> 00:10:10,120 We threw something special away, huh?
- 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,656 Maybe.
- 00:10:11,656 --> 00:10:14,729 Maybe real friendships all get tested.
- 00:10:14,729 --> 00:10:18,871 ♪ Maybe real friendships all get tested ♪
- 00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:19,839 Oh!
- 00:10:19,839 --> 00:10:22,177 ♪ Sometimes best best friends ♪
- 00:10:22,177 --> 00:10:24,516 ♪ Can be unbested ♪
- 00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:28,523 "Unbested"?
- 00:10:28,523 --> 00:10:29,893 They can be placeholder lyrics.
- 00:10:29,893 --> 00:10:32,632 Oh, come on. Shlub!
- 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,669 I still can't move.
- 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:37,675 And then it can be steered
- 00:10:37,675 --> 00:10:39,044 like a ship, straight to the moon.
- 00:10:39,044 --> 00:10:40,748 How did you guys figure this out?
- 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,019 The trick is to forget everything you think
- 00:10:43,019 --> 00:10:44,589 and use only what you know.
- 00:10:44,589 --> 00:10:45,925 I love that!
- 00:10:45,925 --> 00:10:47,260 What happens when the ship gets there?
- 00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,331 Well, we know the moon is flat, like Earth,
- 00:10:49,331 --> 00:10:51,736 so the ship should punch a hole through the center,
- 00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,172 restoring sunlight to the world,
- 00:10:53,172 --> 00:10:55,176 and probably curing menstruation.
- 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,147 Sounds like we can't afford not to do this.
- 00:10:57,147 --> 00:10:58,917 We just need a volunteer to do the steering.
- 00:10:58,917 --> 00:11:00,854 - Not a scientist. - Someone immortal.
- 00:11:00,854 --> 00:11:02,559 We were thinking Ares because he's--
- 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,127 - Brave and strong. - Really?
- 00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,965 I was thinking because he's an idiot.
- 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:07,802 I'll make that happen. You make the ship.
- 00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:10,741 Let's get to work.
- 00:11:12,545 --> 00:11:15,449 My king.
- 00:11:17,755 --> 00:11:19,625 She's playing you.
- 00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:21,997 You not yourself, Mom. Are you sober?
- 00:11:21,997 --> 00:11:24,268 She has got you positioned out in front of her
- 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:26,807 where she can use you to test her father's weakness.
- 00:11:26,807 --> 00:11:27,975 When Zeus comes back
- 00:11:27,975 --> 00:11:29,979 and it turns out he's not weak,
- 00:11:29,979 --> 00:11:32,718 she gets to play dumb and you get a lightning enema.
- 00:11:32,718 --> 00:11:33,987 I get it.
- 00:11:33,987 --> 00:11:35,991 You feel bad about not blocking the sword,
- 00:11:35,991 --> 00:11:37,261 so now you're protecting me
- 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,966 from things like confidence and success.
- 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:42,036 She's pretending to be on your side.
- 00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:43,907 Then she's got you beat by half.
- 00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:46,479 I'd ask you to try it sometime, but you've given it a go,
- 00:11:46,479 --> 00:11:47,948 and I don't think you're a bad goddess
- 00:11:47,948 --> 00:11:50,253 or a bad mom, I think you're just--
- 00:11:50,253 --> 00:11:52,023 well, I guess I do think you're both of those things.
- 00:11:52,123 --> 00:11:54,896 This monologue is more sloppy than hurtful.
- 00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:56,131 Because I never practiced it,
- 00:11:56,131 --> 00:11:58,135 because it's a monologue I never wanted to do--
- 00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:01,141 the one that ends with "thank you" and "goodbye."
- 00:12:01,141 --> 00:12:03,145 - I see. - It seems like you don't,
- 00:12:03,145 --> 00:12:04,883 though, because you're still here.
- 00:12:04,883 --> 00:12:06,887 You want me to leave now?
- 00:12:06,887 --> 00:12:08,156 Shall I just walk down the road
- 00:12:08,156 --> 00:12:10,628 into the wilderness, empty-handed?
- 00:12:10,628 --> 00:12:12,130 Mom, of course not.
- 00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:15,069 You can fly, and you need to take Dad.
- 00:12:15,069 --> 00:12:16,873 - Come on, man. - Relax.
- 00:12:16,873 --> 00:12:18,944 I'm done pursuing you. I get it now.
- 00:12:18,944 --> 00:12:20,548 I figured out the way to your heart.
- 00:12:20,548 --> 00:12:22,083 My heart has a way to it?
- 00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:23,987 And you needed someone other than me
- 00:12:23,987 --> 00:12:26,091 to explain that it wasn't stalking?
- 00:12:26,091 --> 00:12:27,995 You need proof of my courage,
- 00:12:27,995 --> 00:12:31,001 which is crazy since courage is my gimmick, but I get it.
- 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,339 If Apollo's a fraud, maybe all gods are.
- 00:12:33,339 --> 00:12:35,877 So I'm going up in that skyship for you,
- 00:12:35,877 --> 00:12:37,748 and I'm going to end this eclipse
- 00:12:37,748 --> 00:12:40,419 and, apparently, all your periods.
- 00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:44,194 You made a deal with this jackass
- 00:12:44,194 --> 00:12:46,298 that he could have me if he went to the moon?
- 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:49,371 Uh, that's a super reductive summary of our exchange.
- 00:12:49,371 --> 00:12:52,812 I don't know your big words, but I know the deal's off.
- 00:12:52,812 --> 00:12:54,414 I'm sorry for the misunderstanding,
- 00:12:54,414 --> 00:12:56,051 Splendiferous. - Stupendous.
- 00:12:56,051 --> 00:12:58,691 I'll explain to this bonehead how women work.
- 00:12:58,691 --> 00:13:00,259 You're free to go. - Ow!
- 00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:04,034 You don't tell a human you own them, moron.
- 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,771 Then they have to prove they're free,
- 00:13:05,771 --> 00:13:07,040 and you get nothing.
- 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,309 Now you're getting in that ship
- 00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,480 just to make up for embarrassing me.
- 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,250 - No. - Pardon?
- 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,056 If you think being smarter than me makes you smart,
- 00:13:15,056 --> 00:13:18,864 you're forgetting, big sister, just how stupid I am.
- 00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:21,570 True, but then we talk, and I remember.
- 00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:22,471 Here's our new deal.
- 00:13:22,572 --> 00:13:24,942 If Dad's really gone and you're taking over,
- 00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:27,014 you're sharing power with me.
- 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,215 - Why? - Because if Dad's
- 00:13:28,215 --> 00:13:31,088 not really gone and this makes him mad,
- 00:13:31,088 --> 00:13:32,992 I'll agree that all this skyship stuff was
- 00:13:32,992 --> 00:13:34,929 on King Bigmouth.
- 00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:36,165 - Deal. - Good.
- 00:13:36,165 --> 00:13:37,835 Will you still help me get a woman?
- 00:13:37,835 --> 00:13:40,406 Learn how to talk to one, loser.
- 00:13:42,177 --> 00:13:45,216 My king. - Please. Rise, my goddess.
- 00:13:45,216 --> 00:13:47,821 Your skyship is ready to pierce the heavens
- 00:13:47,821 --> 00:13:49,358 and free the world of Zeus' shadow.
- 00:13:49,358 --> 00:13:50,928 I'll escort you to the launch pad.
- 00:13:50,928 --> 00:13:54,334 What a day. A great step for mankind.
- 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,840 And a pretty big step for my career, not that it's about me.
- 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,476 It's going to be a huge step for you.
- 00:13:58,476 --> 00:14:01,115 Ares is stepping down so that you can drive the ship.
- 00:14:01,115 --> 00:14:02,150 - Me? - This revolution
- 00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:04,488 will be meaningless if a god gets any credit.
- 00:14:04,488 --> 00:14:07,460 Honestly, I saw it as a joint god/human operation
- 00:14:07,460 --> 00:14:09,799 since we really want someone inside that thing
- 00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:10,901 that can't explode.
- 00:14:10,901 --> 00:14:12,104 You're going to be fine.
- 00:14:12,104 --> 00:14:14,008 You're under my protection, remember?
- 00:14:14,008 --> 00:14:15,945 You're going to get me back down alive?
- 00:14:15,945 --> 00:14:18,215 - You don't trust me? - I do. I do.
- 00:14:18,215 --> 00:14:20,119 Good. Where's your mother?
- 00:14:20,119 --> 00:14:23,025 I... kicked her out of the city.
- 00:14:23,025 --> 00:14:25,698 Oh, even better! Let's go, buddy.
- 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,000 Time to become a legend!
- 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,439 Mommy!
- 00:14:40,259 --> 00:14:42,832 Wave to your people, King.
- 00:14:42,832 --> 00:14:45,570 Oh, right. You can't. I'll do it.
- 00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:50,046 Ty, I don't know why you're doing this.
- 00:14:50,046 --> 00:14:51,282 If we're not using a god,
- 00:14:51,282 --> 00:14:53,285 we should really put a criminal in here.
- 00:14:53,285 --> 00:14:55,958 Like, a really serious criminal.
- 00:14:55,958 --> 00:14:59,430 I told him the same thing, but he insisted.
- 00:14:59,430 --> 00:15:02,370 Cancel the mission! I was kidnapped! Let me out!
- 00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:04,943 I think he might be--
- 00:15:04,943 --> 00:15:06,412 If it's a series of intermittent bangs,
- 00:15:06,412 --> 00:15:08,817 that means he's strapped in and ready to go.
- 00:15:08,817 --> 00:15:10,119 You're still here?
- 00:15:10,119 --> 00:15:11,188 Wait, you're leaving?
- 00:15:11,188 --> 00:15:13,192 My son has evicted my wife.
- 00:15:13,292 --> 00:15:14,629 She's clearing out her temple,
- 00:15:14,629 --> 00:15:17,167 and we're going to make love beneath a black sun
- 00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:20,339 to the primal sounds of humanity unraveling.
- 00:15:20,339 --> 00:15:24,314 Did you... did you already pack all your instruments?
- 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,986 - Why? - Because if all the mortals
- 00:15:27,086 --> 00:15:29,726 are going to die, I want my last memory
- 00:15:29,726 --> 00:15:32,330 to be with my favorite one.
- 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,706 - What have I done? - I'll field that.
- 00:15:36,706 --> 00:15:39,679 You took the life I gave you and bet it against me,
- 00:15:39,779 --> 00:15:40,981 and you lost.
- 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,183 Mama, get the door open!
- 00:15:42,183 --> 00:15:43,587 - After you apologize. - There's no time!
- 00:15:43,587 --> 00:15:45,958 Get us out before we launch! - Nice try.
- 00:15:45,958 --> 00:15:47,528 I saw how long that fuse was.
- 00:15:47,528 --> 00:15:50,266 You've got enough time to eat some crap.
- 00:15:51,268 --> 00:15:54,174 Ugh, how long is this fuse?
- 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,286 Oh, man. I knew it. I knew it would blow up.
- 00:16:00,286 --> 00:16:02,057 - No, look! - It worked!
- 00:16:02,057 --> 00:16:04,060 I knew it would work!
- 00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:05,964 So science is just guessing?
- 00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:07,702 And explosions.
- 00:16:07,702 --> 00:16:09,539 But yes, mostly guessing.
- 00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:10,339 Holy crap!
- 00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:14,147 Next time, just open the--
- 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:18,155 Next time? You can't be serious!
- 00:16:18,155 --> 00:16:23,065 ♪ Now it's time for us to go ♪
- 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:29,211 ♪ Everything and everyone you know ♪
- 00:16:29,211 --> 00:16:35,122 <i>♪ Changing like the southern winds ♪</i>
- 00:16:35,122 --> 00:16:39,898 ♪ Punished for the sins you've sinned ♪
- 00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:45,510 both: ♪ When you think about the times you've had ♪
- 00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:52,056 ♪ Measure all the good and bad you've lived ♪
- 00:16:52,056 --> 00:16:57,134 <i>♪ You've lived, you've lived ♪</i>
- 00:16:57,134 --> 00:17:03,680 <i>♪ You've lived ♪</i>
- 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,365 What on Earth are we looking at?
- 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:16,105 - Earth? - Is the moon a ball?
- 00:17:16,105 --> 00:17:18,142 I think the Earth is a ball too.
- 00:17:18,142 --> 00:17:20,581 How can a ball be flat when you're on it?
- 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:25,256 By being really, really, really big.
- 00:17:25,256 --> 00:17:26,993 - He lied. - Who?
- 00:17:26,993 --> 00:17:28,697 - Zeus. - About what?
- 00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:30,400 Everything.
- 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,503 both: Aah!
- 00:17:31,503 --> 00:17:33,540 - I think we missed the moon. - Good.
- 00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:34,842 We've got a new mission.
- 00:17:34,842 --> 00:17:36,011 You navigate. - Where?
- 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,080 Olympus.
- 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,818 Uh, okay. Um, left?
- 00:17:39,919 --> 00:17:41,556 So shall we discuss our next gig?
- 00:17:41,556 --> 00:17:44,127 I hear the sirens are looking for an opening act.
- 00:17:44,127 --> 00:17:46,232 I don't think so. And you know why?
- 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:50,607 Because you're a selfish, immortal ballsack?
- 00:17:50,607 --> 00:17:54,414 And yet, I think I'm going to miss that talented bastard.
- 00:18:09,612 --> 00:18:11,583 Mom, we should probably get out of here.
- 00:18:11,583 --> 00:18:13,754 This is what he calls his office?
- 00:18:13,754 --> 00:18:14,722 It's just his old court.
- 00:18:14,722 --> 00:18:17,126 But he added walls, doors, and a desk.
- 00:18:17,126 --> 00:18:18,195 That's the idea.
- 00:18:18,195 --> 00:18:19,999 It creates an executive atmosphere.
- 00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,503 Creates a stupid atmosphere.
- 00:18:21,503 --> 00:18:27,346 All it does is close off-- wait a minute.
- 00:18:27,346 --> 00:18:30,453 - Oh, my God! - He really did it.
- 00:18:30,453 --> 00:18:32,490 Did what? What am I looking at here?
- 00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:34,895 The crazy bastard was obsessed
- 00:18:34,895 --> 00:18:36,365 with taking different animal forms
- 00:18:36,465 --> 00:18:38,236 for purposes of pleasure.
- 00:18:38,236 --> 00:18:40,540 After a while, he stopped seeking partners
- 00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:43,680 and started experimenting with hybrid forms.
- 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,484 If you want something done right, he always said.
- 00:18:46,484 --> 00:18:48,590 - Is he dead? - Far from it.
- 00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:50,760 He's achieved his ultimate dream--
- 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,332 the neck of a giraffe, the tongue of an anteater,
- 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,769 and the protracted orgasm of a pig.
- 00:18:54,769 --> 00:18:57,440 No more information! Don't tell me that about pigs.
- 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,213 Deliria?
- 00:19:00,213 --> 00:19:02,751 You did not just crash your ship here
- 00:19:02,751 --> 00:19:05,089 and go into my father's office.
- 00:19:05,089 --> 00:19:06,860 In fact, we did, darling.
- 00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:09,264 Because he invited us.
- 00:19:09,264 --> 00:19:10,934 - He's in there? - Yeah.
- 00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:13,573 And he wasn't thrilled with your behavior today, but--
- 00:19:13,573 --> 00:19:15,309 But he said you're still his favorite,
- 00:19:15,309 --> 00:19:16,713 and he agreed to end the eclipse.
- 00:19:16,713 --> 00:19:20,554 Holy crap, look. There's a sliver of sun now.
- 00:19:20,554 --> 00:19:23,159 Yep, Zeus says he'll now move the moon
- 00:19:23,159 --> 00:19:25,564 from in front of the sun very gradually,
- 00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,466 almost as if he's rolling a huge ball.
- 00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,572 So he's not mad at anybody?
- 00:19:29,572 --> 00:19:31,643 Not unless someone disturbs him.
- 00:19:31,643 --> 00:19:35,316 He's quite exhausted from an extended...
- 00:19:35,316 --> 00:19:36,284 - Neck. - Holiday.
- 00:19:36,284 --> 00:19:37,521 Holiday. Oh!
- 00:19:37,521 --> 00:19:39,625 He also said my mom is no longer banished,
- 00:19:39,625 --> 00:19:42,297 so if she wants, she can come back here,
- 00:19:42,297 --> 00:19:44,802 and you all have to stop being mean to her.
- 00:19:44,802 --> 00:19:49,077 He did say that, but I don't like it here.
- 00:19:49,077 --> 00:19:51,448 I'm a Krapopolis girl.
- 00:19:51,448 --> 00:19:53,653 Are we really never going to tell them?
- 00:19:53,653 --> 00:19:57,193 Do we want to share a world with a newly emboldened Athena?
- 00:19:57,193 --> 00:19:58,663 You're right.
- 00:19:58,663 --> 00:20:01,669 If the Olympians keep fearing Zeus and Zeus stays...
- 00:20:01,669 --> 00:20:03,573 - Self-fulfilled. - Then we become,
- 00:20:03,573 --> 00:20:06,646 in a sense, rulers of our own world.
- 00:20:06,646 --> 00:20:10,954 Animal? - Giant eagle, please!
- 00:20:10,954 --> 00:20:14,360 But that world is slightly larger than we thought.
- 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:15,463 That's all right.
- 00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:16,833 I don't need you to rule it anymore.
- 00:20:16,833 --> 00:20:19,170 Because you've realized the importance of family?
- 00:20:19,170 --> 00:20:20,206 Because I live forever.
- 00:20:20,206 --> 00:20:22,477 You have a maximum of, what, five years left?
- 00:20:22,477 --> 00:20:24,214 Uplifting takeaway.
- 00:20:24,214 --> 00:20:25,416 And after you're dead,
- 00:20:25,416 --> 00:20:26,886 I can have as many new children as I want.
- 00:20:26,886 --> 00:20:30,727 We don't have to spend the whole flight talking.
- 00:20:33,934 --> 00:20:36,271 I'm telling you, I saw it, and it's round.
- 00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:38,342 - Yes, like a plate. - Like a ball.
- 00:20:38,342 --> 00:20:41,014 And where on a ball would you build a house?
- 00:20:41,014 --> 00:20:42,651 It's a big ball.
- 00:20:42,651 --> 00:20:45,857 A big ball covered in water that doesn't fall off the ball.
- 00:20:45,857 --> 00:20:48,462 Even though it's floating in--what did you call it?
- 00:20:48,462 --> 00:20:50,600 - I didn't. - Oh, you called it something.
- 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,404 And we'd like you to say it again.
- 00:20:52,404 --> 00:20:54,441 Space.
- 00:20:54,441 --> 00:20:57,647 Okay, so, Hephaestus, maybe we should gather
- 00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:59,518 the scientific community and--
- 00:20:59,518 --> 00:21:01,890 And we'll think about space.
- 00:21:03,058 --> 00:21:04,193 You guys are being mean.
- 00:21:04,193 --> 00:21:05,396 Well, we have to be, Ty,
- 00:21:05,396 --> 00:21:06,833 because you're confusing science with magic.
- 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,505 Yeah, and there's already enough magic, okay?
- 00:21:09,505 --> 00:21:11,976 I don't know if you noticed, but I flew here.
- 00:21:11,976 --> 00:21:14,180 And the point of science is to overthrow magic
- 00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:15,416 with logic and observation.
- 00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:17,855 But I did observe this. I was in space.
- 00:21:17,855 --> 00:21:19,692 - Yeah, because you're nuts! - He's right.
- 00:21:19,692 --> 00:21:21,696 I wouldn't have done that, and I'm magic.
- 00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:24,067 You'd make a horrible scientist, dude.
- 00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:25,770 Where were we?
- 00:21:25,770 --> 00:21:28,509 How do we know women have less teeth than men?
- 00:21:28,509 --> 00:21:30,814 - Smaller mouths? - Perfect.
- 00:21:30,947 --> 00:21:32,551 <i>Did you get any of that?</i>
- 00:21:35,123 --> 00:21:36,792 <i>Bento.</i>
- 00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:10,090 Мама! Мама! Наступает конец света!
- 00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:12,510 - Нет, это похмелье. - Я серьёзно.
- 00:00:12,550 --> 00:00:14,510 Луна налетела на солнце.
- 00:00:14,590 --> 00:00:17,220 Это затмение. Такое случается.
- 00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:18,640 - Не при моей жизни! - Да.
- 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,970 Сколько вы, мертворождённые, живёте? Десять, тридцать лет?
- 00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:23,810 Если правильно питаться и сидеть дома.
- 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,190 Значит, это не конец света?
- 00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:28,150 Вам обязательно превращать всё непонятное в народное предание?
- 00:00:28,230 --> 00:00:30,110 Хочешь знать, что такое затмение?
- 00:00:30,190 --> 00:00:32,690 Сейчас ты почувствуешь себя очень глупо.
- 00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:40,490 Оказывается, когда Зевс очень зол, он говорит Аполлону убрать солнце за луну, пока не успокоится.
- 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:43,500 Правда? Кто так выражает недовольство?
- 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:46,420 Тот, кто стал лебедем, чтобы заняться сексом?
- 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:48,250 В любом случае, это проблема богов.
- 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,380 Всё равно, в научных целях мои люди продолжат наблюдение.
- 00:00:52,615 --> 00:00:54,170 Спасибо, что сказал.
- 00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:56,010 Новое правило затмения: наблюдать нельзя.
- 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,220 Хотя бы скажу городу, что паниковать не нужно.
- 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:08,650 Привет. Боги винят твою мать в затмении и могут разрушить ваш город.
- 00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:10,770 Пока.
- 00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:13,440 Хотя бы можно не прерывать панику города.
- 00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:41,010 Что происходит?
- 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:43,310 Посмотрите!
- 00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:44,560 Какие у вас главные сожаления?
- 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,770 - Я не научился летать. - У меня не было семьи.
- 00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:50,190 Я не увидел, как город перестанет разваливаться.
- 00:01:50,230 --> 00:01:52,110 Это твое большое желание? Семья?
- 00:01:52,190 --> 00:01:53,650 И у животных есть семья.
- 00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:54,820 И летать они тоже умеют.
- 00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:58,070 Ты права. Я тоже хотел семью!
- 00:01:58,110 --> 00:01:59,780 Привет, дети. Миру конец.
- 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,320 Кто хочет заторчать?
- 00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:05,240 Мы делимся сожалениями, папа, и твоим детям очень не хватает семьи.
- 00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:08,250 Как бы не пожалеть, что вы не услышали мое предложение.
- 00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:10,540 Гермес борется с мамой?
- 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:14,000 Если это не по согласию, я не стану просто смотреть.
- 00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:15,670 Гермес, отпусти меня!
- 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,550 Я просто выполняю свою работу.
- 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:23,140 - Тебя вызвали на Олимп. - Скажи Олимпу, что я вызываю их пойди в задницу!
- 00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:26,600 - В самом деле? - Абсолютнейше.
- 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,180 Ну хорошо.
- 00:02:28,270 --> 00:02:29,520 В чём дело, любимая?
- 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:35,900 Мои родственники из числа чопорных вырожденцев решила, что меня можно вызвать, как третьесортного титана.
- 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:37,110 Знаете, что я сказала?
- 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:38,650 Вызвала их пойти в задницу?
- 00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:42,240 Да! Откуда ты?..
- 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,070 О, боги.
- 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,830 Откройте эти плохо спроектированные врата.
- 00:02:49,524 --> 00:02:51,234 Гефест: бог ремесла
- 00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:55,200 Я запомнил все царапины.
- 00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,200 Аполлон: бог солнца
- 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,010 Мерзость!
- 00:03:03,746 --> 00:03:07,375 Афина: богиня войны, мудрости, труда, преданности, юмора, превосходства, скромности, лидерства и жизни на полную
- 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:11,940 На что смотришь? Не отворачивайся, смотри на меня.
- 00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:13,840 А теперь скажи, на что смотришь!
- 00:03:14,006 --> 00:03:15,840 Арес: просто война
- 00:03:20,580 --> 00:03:23,460 Все, чье тело можно убить, идите внутрь.
- 00:03:23,540 --> 00:03:26,250 Не, мне 35. Я всё равно скоро умру.
- 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,420 Это Аполлон? Как неловко.
- 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,840 Потому что солнце не светит?
- 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,550 Нет, он плохо воспринял распад нашей группы.
- 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:33,840 - Гефест? - Гиппокамп!
- 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:34,840 - Шлаб. - Аполлон.
- 00:03:35,010 --> 00:03:36,680 Делирия, мой отец недоволен.
- 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,510 Тебя просили явиться для допроса.
- 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,310 О, я бывала на допросах. Нет уж, я пас.
- 00:03:41,390 --> 00:03:43,100 Это была не просьба.
- 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:46,100 Она сказала, что меня просили, тупица.
- 00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:47,230 - Шлюха. - Задира!
- 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,440 Я не выиграю, но ты потеряешь лицо.
- 00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:52,980 Внешность еще не всё.
- 00:03:53,030 --> 00:03:55,400 Пофлиртуете после того, как мы найдём его.
- 00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:57,410 Найдём? Зевс пропал?
- 00:03:57,490 --> 00:04:00,410 Так, так, не при почитателях.
- 00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:03,160 Да, в данный момент он недоступен.
- 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,410 И ты эксперт по тому, чтобы бесить моего отца...
- 00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:07,290 Ты снова назвала его своим отцом.
- 00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:09,210 Да, он отец для большинства из нас.
- 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,670 А матери у всех разные.
- 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,630 Но почему-то шлюха я.
- 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,380 Ты пойдёшь с нами, Делирия?
- 00:04:14,470 --> 00:04:19,090 - Что если нет? - Я убью всех в городе, кроме твоей дочери. На ней я женюсь.
- 00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:21,810 - Чтобы я убила себя? - Я женюсь на твоем трупе.
- 00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:24,390 Ты пойдёшь к алтарю с моими зубами в промежности.
- 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:25,730 Звучит как прекрасная церемония!
- 00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:28,400 Народ, пожалуйста! Я царь Тиран.
- 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,520 Хочу поприветствовать уважаемых богов в цивилизации.
- 00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:33,150 Работы еще ведутся, простите за пыль.
- 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,629 Хватит помогать, Ти.
- 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:41,350 Но поскольку Зевс изгнал мою мать с Олимпа, ее возвращение туда было бы неповиновением власти Зевса.
- 00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:46,120 Поэтому нам всем нужно знать, кто принял это решение.
- 00:04:46,210 --> 00:04:47,460 Ладно, помоги немного.
- 00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:49,000 Аполлон, что тебе сказал папа?
- 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,040 Что? Я не говорил с ним. Не надо валить на меня.
- 00:04:52,130 --> 00:04:54,960 Мы согласились, что затмение из-за того, что Делирия шлюха.
- 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:55,960 Я вполне убеждён.
- 00:04:56,050 --> 00:04:57,720 Надерём ей зад прямо здесь.
- 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:58,760 Нет, нет. Стой.
- 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,890 Если ты не говорил с ним, зачем ты убрал солнце за луну?
- 00:05:01,970 --> 00:05:04,140 Поговорим об этом в другом месте?
- 00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:07,060 - Нет, я так не думаю. - Нет поговорим здесь.
- 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,640 Я не делаю затмения, ясно?
- 00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:12,060 Я солнце. Моя сестра луна.
- 00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:13,480 Папа правит небом.
- 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:17,400 Это не имеет ко мне никакого отношения.
- 00:05:17,490 --> 00:05:20,030 Не считая солнца. Им я управляю.
- 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,660 Как мы установили.
- 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:24,740 Привет. Раздражающий научный вопрос.
- 00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:26,700 - Что если он врёт? - Как ты смеешь?!
- 00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:29,210 Как он смеет?! Я управляю солнцем.
- 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:30,540 Это моя работа.
- 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:33,130 Ты сейчас получишь суровый урок, смертный.
- 00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,170 - Покажи ему. - Что?
- 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,750 Поднимись и подвинь солнце.
- 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,420 Да, не надо заканчивать затмение, просто пошевели солнце.
- 00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:39,550 - Давай. - Вперёд.
- 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,050 Просто немного сдвинь солнце.
- 00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:52,270 Кажется, он просто улетел.
- 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,610 Кажется, он спускается обратно.
- 00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,570 Быстро спускается. Бежим!
- 00:05:57,610 --> 00:05:59,150 В сторону!
- 00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:08,950 Он замёрз?
- 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,500 Как ближе к солнцу может быть холоднее?
- 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:17,880 Ну, я не бог науки, но думаю, это потому что Делирия шлюха.
- 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,470 Когда кто-то в последний раз видел Зевса?
- 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,560 Мы редко его видели, когда он был с нами.
- 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,310 Он выходил из кабинета, только чтобы покричать о границах.
- 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,020 У Зевса теперь есть кабинет? И границы?
- 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,150 То и то изобрели люди. Рад, что они прижились.
- 00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:40,530 Но он знает, что солнце не может оставаться за луной, иначе все люди со временем умрут от голода?
- 00:06:40,570 --> 00:06:43,240 Конечно, ты первым делом думаешь о всех людях.
- 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,610 Эгоистично, братан.
- 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,030 Что произошло, Аполлон?
- 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:47,330 Ты коснулся солнца?
- 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:48,490 Я даже не приблизился.
- 00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:52,120 Я подлетел насколько смог, а затем не смог дышать, что не проблема.
- 00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:53,620 Кому нужно дышать?
- 00:06:53,670 --> 00:06:55,500 - Много кому. - Неудачники.
- 00:06:55,590 --> 00:06:58,170 А затем я просто уснул.
- 00:06:58,260 --> 00:07:02,050 Не весёлым сном, как после секса, а плохим, который я не контролировал.
- 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,130 Как ты никогда не контролировал солнце?
- 00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:05,680 Вот стерва.
- 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,810 Эй, сестра, наши титулы никогда ничего не значили.
- 00:07:09,850 --> 00:07:13,140 Папа раздаёт их, чтобы мы ощущали себя важными.
- 00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:17,770 Похоже, ты была слишком занята, символизируя мудрость, чтобы это понять.
- 00:07:17,860 --> 00:07:20,400 Шлаб, отнеси меня туда, где я оттаю.
- 00:07:20,490 --> 00:07:23,280 Зря я ушёл из группы. Я очень об этом сожалею.
- 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,410 Не сожалей. Потому что не ты ушёл из группы.
- 00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:27,530 - А я. - Погоди, что?
- 00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:32,080 Ну, если уж никто не знает, как устроено небо, думаю, пришла пора науке вмешаться.
- 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,250 Да, мы с Гефом хотим создать небесную программу.
- 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,420 - Одобряю. - Не нравится мне, как это звучит.
- 00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,920 Это только до тех пор, пока мы не узнаем, что над небом.
- 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,340 Тогда мы дадим программе более крутое название в честь этого.
- 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:47,800 Мне не нравится соглашаться с Аресом, но у нас что, новая цель активно бесить Зевса?
- 00:07:47,890 --> 00:07:51,560 Как долго его чувства будут иметь значение, если он вообще не появляется?
- 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,810 Ти, я не могу защитить тебя от него.
- 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,940 Это очевидно. Он может выключить солнце!
- 00:07:56,940 --> 00:08:03,110 Всем живым существам грозит вымирание, кроме горстки бессмертных, которые целуют ему зад за ненастоящую работу!
- 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,400 Эй, моя работа реальна.
- 00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:06,570 Война - это то, кто я есть и что я делаю.
- 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:09,660 Куда бы и я ни пошёл, возникает конфликт.
- 00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:11,950 Уверен, что это не просто потому что ты мудак?
- 00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:17,540 Он царь, думающий о своем царстве.
- 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,010 Иди займись делом. Не спрашивай меня где.
- 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,260 А, я вижу, что происходит.
- 00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:25,443 Круши патриархию? Долой все пенисы?
- 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,560 Что? Как ты это вообще приплёл?
- 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:32,650 Я не обязан стоять тут и объяснять, почему женщины настоящие сексисты, когда я мог бы подкатывать к ее дочери.
- 00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:36,190 Ха-ха, победа! Бог войны!
- 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,820 - Я защищу тебя. - Неужели?
- 00:08:39,860 --> 00:08:43,620 Она только что защитила. Она остановила меч.
- 00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:44,740 Я тоже собиралась.
- 00:08:44,830 --> 00:08:46,580 Ну, ты явно не торопилась.
- 00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:48,330 Теперь мы собираемся здесь?
- 00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:49,960 Крапополис новый Олимп?
- 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,120 - Нет. - Да.
- 00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:53,210 Думаю, даже богам нужно немного воздуха.
- 00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:55,920 Я пробовал задерживать дыхание на несколько дней.
- 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,510 - Что произошло? - Папа засмеялся и сказал: "Это была фигура речи, урод.
- 00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:02,140 Я никогда тебя не полюблю". А еще закружилась голова.
- 00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:05,890 И Аполлон отключился, потому что над небом нет воздуха.
- 00:09:05,930 --> 00:09:08,350 Нет воздуха и тепла, поэтому он замёрз.
- 00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:13,699 Нам нужен корпус, настолько глухой, что он удержит воздух внутри.
- 00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:16,800 И поставим на него пару десятков бочек моей взрывной пыли.
- 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,650 Насколько он должен быть прочным?
- 00:09:18,740 --> 00:09:20,990 Мой знакомый работает с редкими металлами.
- 00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:23,070 Симпатичный парень, он живёт в вулкане.
- 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,490 Ладно, а кто залезет в этот корпус?
- 00:09:25,540 --> 00:09:28,040 Псих, кто же еще.
- 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,910 Но серьёзно, не кто-то из нас.
- 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,000 Что с тобой?
- 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,920 Я не прячусь, это было бы слабостью.
- 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:40,170 Я делаю то, что делают сильные люди, когда от них не отстаёт кто-то мерзкий, кого нельзя убить.
- 00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:41,670 Арес!
- 00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:45,800 Ты всегда хорошо бренчал.
- 00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:49,020 Потому что я всегда плыл по волнам.
- 00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:52,890 Я думаю, настоящим плаванием по волнам было бы плавание с компаньоном, но...
- 00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:58,270 Ты смертельно долго обдумывал каждую песню, придирчивый ты поэт!
- 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,150 А ты теперь пишешь по десять песен в день, да?
- 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,030 Пьяный гений.
- 00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:06,570 Я не играл с нашего распада.
- 00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:07,830 Я тоже.
- 00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:10,040 Мы бросили нечто особенное, да?
- 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,580 Возможно.
- 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:14,670 И лучшие дружбы подвергаются испытанию.
- 00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:18,710 И лучшие дружбы подвергаются испытанию.
- 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:19,750 О!
- 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:24,380 Иногда самые лучшие друзья разлучшаются.
- 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:28,430 Разлучшаются?
- 00:10:28,470 --> 00:10:29,810 Пусть это будет временный текст.
- 00:10:29,850 --> 00:10:32,520 Ой, да ладно. Шлаб!
- 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,600 Я не могу пошевелиться.
- 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,980 И его можно направить как корабль прямо на луну.
- 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:40,650 Как вы до такого додумались?
- 00:10:40,780 --> 00:10:44,490 Хитрость в том, чтобы забыть обо всём, что ты не знаешь наверняка.
- 00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:45,990 Мне это нравится!
- 00:10:46,030 --> 00:10:47,200 Что будет, когда корабль долетит?
- 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,800 Мы знаем, что луна плоская, как Земля.
- 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:54,900 Корабль должен пробить дыру в центре, вернуть солнечный свет и, наверно, вылечить менструацию.
- 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,040 Тогда мы обязаны это сделать.
- 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,790 Нам нужен только доброволец у штурвала.
- 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,710 - Не учёный. - Кто-то бессмертный.
- 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,420 Мы думали об Аресе, потому что он...
- 00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:03,970 - Храбрый и сильный. - Правда?
- 00:11:04,090 --> 00:11:05,970 А я подумала, потому что он идиот.
- 00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:10,640 Я это устрою, а вы стройте корабль. За работу.
- 00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:15,310 Мой царь.
- 00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:19,480 Она играется с тобой.
- 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,860 Ты сама не своя. Ты трезвая?
- 00:11:21,940 --> 00:11:26,650 Она поставила тебя перед собой, чтобы, используя тебя, проверить, насколько слаб ее отец.
- 00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:32,580 Когда Зевс вернётся и окажется, что он не слаб, она прикинется дурочкой, а ты получишь клизму из молнии.
- 00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:33,830 Я понял.
- 00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:39,790 Ты расстроена тем, что не остановила меч, и теперь защищаешь меня от уверенности и успеха.
- 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,880 Она только делает вид, что она за тебя.
- 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,750 Ты и этого не делаешь.
- 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,644 Я бы попросил тебя как-нибудь попробовать, но не стану.
- 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,850 Я не считаю тебя плохой богиней или плохой мамой, ты просто...
- 00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:51,850 Ну, наверно всё-таки считаю.
- 00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:54,770 Этот монолог скорее неуклюжий, чем обидный.
- 00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:57,980 Я его не репетировал. Потому что не хотел его произносить.
- 00:11:58,060 --> 00:12:00,980 Он заканчивается на "спасибо и прощай".
- 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:04,690 - Ясно. - Не похоже. Потому что ты всё еще здесь.
- 00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:06,690 Хочешь, чтобы я ушла?
- 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:10,410 Мне просто пойти по дороге в дикие места с пустыми руками?
- 00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:11,950 Мама, конечно нет.
- 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,870 Ты можешь летать. И возьми с собой папу.
- 00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:17,000 - Перестань. - Спокойно.
- 00:12:17,090 --> 00:12:19,050 Я перестал за тобой гоняться, я всё понял.
- 00:12:19,090 --> 00:12:20,670 Я нашёл путь к твоему сердцу.
- 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,220 К моему сердцу есть путь?
- 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:26,180 И тебе нужно было, чтобы кто-то еще объяснил тебе, что это не преследование?
- 00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:31,100 Тебе нужно доказательство моей храбрости. Это бред, ведь храбрость - моя фишка, но я понимаю.
- 00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,440 Если Аполлон фальшивка, то может, и все боги такие.
- 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:40,530 Так что я полечу для тебя на небесном корабле и покончу с этим затмением и, видимо, твоими месячными.
- 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:46,370 Ты пообещала этому ослу, что он получит меня, если слетает на луну?
- 00:12:46,410 --> 00:12:49,540 Это очень сокращённый пересказ нашего разговора.
- 00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:53,080 Я не знаю твоих сложных слов, но сделка отменяется.
- 00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:56,130 - Извини за непонимание, Коллапса. - Колосса.
- 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,750 Я объясню этому тупоголовому про женщин.
- 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,300 А ты иди.
- 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:04,090 Нельзя говорить людям, что они принадлежат тебе.
- 00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:07,100 Тогда им нужно будет доказать, что они свободны, идиот.
- 00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:10,520 Ты полетишь просто за то, что ты меня опозорил.
- 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,310 - Нет. - Извини?
- 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:18,900 Если ты считаешь себя умной только потому, что ты умнее меня, то ты забываешь, насколько я тупой, сестра.
- 00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:21,490 Верно, но когда мы говорим, я вспоминаю.
- 00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:22,610 Вот новая сделка.
- 00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:27,070 Если папы правда больше нет и ты теперь главная, мы разделим власть.
- 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,956 - Почему? - Если папа вернётся и это его разозлит,
- 00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:34,700 я подтвержу, что про корабль придумал трепливый царь.
- 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,210 - По рукам. - Хорошо.
- 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,000 Так поможешь мне заполучить женщину?
- 00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:40,420 Научись с ними говорить, неудачник.
- 00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:45,220 - Мой царь. - Прошу, встань, моя богиня.
- 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:49,350 Твой небесный корабль готов пронзить небеса и освободить мир от тени Зевса.
- 00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:50,930 Идём на стартовую площадку.
- 00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:54,480 Что за день. Великий шаг для человечества.
- 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,850 И немалый для моей карьеры, хотя сейчас не обо мне.
- 00:13:56,940 --> 00:13:58,690 Для тебя это будет огромный шаг.
- 00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:00,940 Арес уступил тебе возможность управлять кораблём.
- 00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:04,490 - Мне? - В революции не будет смысла, если это будет заслуга бога.
- 00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:07,493 Если честно, я думал, это будет совместная операция людей и богов.
- 00:14:07,490 --> 00:14:10,800 Лучше бы внутри был кто-то, кто не может взорваться.
- 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,120 Всё будет нормально.
- 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,000 Ты под моей защитой, забыл?
- 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:15,910 Ты спустишь меня назад живым?
- 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,170 - Ты не доверяешь мне? - Доверяю.
- 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:20,090 Хорошо. Где твоя мать?
- 00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:23,130 Я выгнал ее из города.
- 00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:25,670 О, еще лучше! Идём, приятель.
- 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:26,970 Пора стать легендой!
- 00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:30,430 Мама!
- 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,820 Помаши людям, царь.
- 00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:45,530 Ах да, ты не можешь. Я помогу.
- 00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:49,990 Ти, я не знаю, зачем ты это делаешь.
- 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:53,330 Если уж не бога, то посадим внутрь преступника.
- 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,870 Какого-нибудь серьёзного преступника.
- 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,370 Я то же самое говорила, но он настоял.
- 00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:02,290 Отмените миссию! Меня похитили! Выпустите!
- 00:15:02,380 --> 00:15:04,920 Кажется, он...
- 00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:08,720 Если он стучит с паузами, это значит, что он пристёгнут и готов лететь.
- 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,050 Ты еще здесь?
- 00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:11,140 А ты уходишь?
- 00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:13,220 Сын выселил мою жену.
- 00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:20,270 Она заберёт вещи их храма, и мы будем заниматься любовью под чёрным солнцем под звуки гибели человечества.
- 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,230 Ты... ты уже собрал все свои инструменты?
- 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,446 А что?
- 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:31,550 Если все смертные умрут, я хочу, чтобы мое последнее воспоминание о тебе было моим любимым.
- 00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,620 - Что я наделал? - Я объясню.
- 00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:40,870 Ты поставил жизнь, которую я тебе дала, против меня и проиграл.
- 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,210 Мама, открой дверь!
- 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,500 - Сперва извинись. - Нет времени!
- 00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:45,880 - Выпусти нас, пока мы не взлетели! - Ну да.
- 00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:47,420 Я видела, какой фитиль длинный.
- 00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:50,180 У тебя есть время поесть дерьма.
- 00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:54,050 Какой же длинный фитиль.
- 00:15:58,010 --> 00:16:00,140 Я так и знал. Я знал, что он взорвётся.
- 00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:01,940 - Нет, смотрите! - Получилось!
- 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:03,940 Я знал, что получится!
- 00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:05,820 Так наука это просто догадки?
- 00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:09,360 И взрывы. Но да, в основном догадки.
- 00:16:09,410 --> 00:16:10,280 Твою налево!
- 00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:14,030 В следующий раз открой просто открой...
- 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:18,040 В следующий раз? Ты шутишь?!
- 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:23,040 - ♪ now it's time for us to go ♪
- 00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:29,050 ♪ everything and everyone you know ♪
- 00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:35,010 - ♪ changing like the southern winds ♪
- 00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:39,930 ♪ punished for the sins you've sinned ♪
- 00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:45,360 ♪ when you think about the times you've had ♪
- 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:51,990 ♪ measure all the good and bad you've lived ♪
- 00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:56,950 ♪ you've lived, you've lived ♪
- 00:16:56,990 --> 00:17:03,500 ♪ you've lived ♪
- 00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:13,130 На что мы такое смотрим?
- 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:15,970 - Это Земля? - Луна круглая?
- 00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,970 И Земля, кажется, тоже.
- 00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:20,520 Как шар может быть плоским, когда ты на нём.
- 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:25,060 Может, если он очень, очень большой.
- 00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:26,810 - Он обманул. - Кто?
- 00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:28,570 - Зевс. - О чём?
- 00:17:28,650 --> 00:17:30,190 Обо всём.
- 00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:33,620 - Мы промазали мимо луны. - Хорошо.
- 00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:34,910 У нас новая цель.
- 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,080 - Ты рули. - Куда?
- 00:17:36,170 --> 00:17:37,170 На Олимп.
- 00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:39,880 Ладно. Влево?
- 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,880 Обсудим следующее выступление?
- 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,170 Я слышал, сирены ищут разогрев.
- 00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:46,300 Не думаю. Знаешь почему?
- 00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:50,680 Потому что ты эгоистичный бессмертный хрен?
- 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,520 И всё-таки я буду скучать по этому талантливому подонку.
- 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:11,620 Мам, может быть, пойдём отсюда?
- 00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:13,910 Он называет это кабинетом?
- 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,160 Он всего лишь добавил стены, двери и стол к своему старому двору.
- 00:18:17,210 --> 00:18:20,040 В этом и смысл. Это создаёт представительную атмосферу.
- 00:18:20,130 --> 00:18:21,500 Идиотскую атмосферу.
- 00:18:21,630 --> 00:18:25,500 Они всего лишь закрывают... Погоди.
- 00:18:27,470 --> 00:18:30,640 - О боже! - Он это сделал.
- 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,510 Сделал что? Что я вижу?
- 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:38,350 Чокнутый ублюдок был одержим тем, чтобы превращаться в разных животных для наслаждения.
- 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,690 Со временем он перестал искать партнёров и начал экспериментировать с гибридами.
- 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,570 "Если хочешь сделать что-то как надо", говорил он...
- 00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:48,610 - Он мёртв? - И близко нет.
- 00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:50,910 Он достиг своей главной мечты.
- 00:18:50,950 --> 00:18:54,870 Шея жирафа, язык муравьеда и длительный оргазм свиньи.
- 00:18:54,910 --> 00:18:57,450 Хватит информации! Не говори мне такого о свиньях.
- 00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,210 Делирия?
- 00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:05,090 Не говорите, что уронили корабль сюда и зашли в кабинет отца.
- 00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:06,880 Так мы и сделали, дорогая.
- 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,260 Он пригласил нас.
- 00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:11,010 - Он внутри? - Да.
- 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,550 И он не в восторге от твоего поведения, но...
- 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,720 Но ты всё еще его любимица и он закончит затмение.
- 00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:20,520 Ого, смотрите. Стал виден кусочек солнца.
- 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:27,480 Ага, Зевс сказал, что будет постепенно убирать луну от солнца, словно он катит гигантский шар.
- 00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:29,570 Так он ни на кого не злится?
- 00:19:29,570 --> 00:19:31,740 Только не беспокойте его.
- 00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:35,280 Он очень уставший от долгого...
- 00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:36,280 - Языка. - Отпуска.
- 00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:37,490 Отпуска.
- 00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:40,158 Еще он сказал, что мама больше не в изгнании.
- 00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:44,600 Так что она может вернуться сюда, и вы должны перестать ее обижать.
- 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:49,050 Он так сказал, но мне здесь не нравится.
- 00:19:49,090 --> 00:19:51,380 Я девушка из Крапополиса.
- 00:19:51,470 --> 00:19:53,590 Мы правда им не скажем?
- 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:57,140 Ты хочешь делить мир с обретшей смелость Афиной?
- 00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:58,600 Ты прав.
- 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,600 Если олимпийцы продолжат бояться Зевса, а Зевс останется...
- 00:20:01,690 --> 00:20:06,610 - Самодостаточным. - То мы станем, в каком-то смысле, правителями своего мира.
- 00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:10,900 - Животное? - Гигантский орёл, пожалуйста!
- 00:20:10,990 --> 00:20:14,280 Но этот мир немного больше, чем мы думали.
- 00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:16,870 Ничего. Мне уже не нужно, чтобы ты им правил.
- 00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:18,830 Потому что ты поняла, как важна семья?
- 00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:20,120 Потому что я живу вечно.
- 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,370 А тебе осталось сколько, пять лет?
- 00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:24,120 Вдохновляющий вывод.
- 00:20:24,170 --> 00:20:26,920 И после твоей смерти я заведу сколько захочу детей.
- 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,630 Нам необязательно разговаривать весь полёт.
- 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,260 Говорю вам, я ее видел, и она круглая.
- 00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:38,260 - Да, как тарелка. - Как шар.
- 00:20:38,350 --> 00:20:40,930 Как бы ты построил дом на шаре?
- 00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:42,560 Это большой шар.
- 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,770 Большой шар, покрытый водой, которая с него не падает.
- 00:20:45,810 --> 00:20:48,570 При том что он летает по... как ты это назвал?
- 00:20:48,650 --> 00:20:50,480 - Никак. - Ты как-то это называл.
- 00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:52,320 Повтори еще раз.
- 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,320 Космос.
- 00:20:54,410 --> 00:20:59,410 Ладно, Гефест, может быть, соберём научное общество и...
- 00:20:59,490 --> 00:21:01,740 И подумаем о космосе.
- 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,110 Злые вы, ребята.
- 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:06,710 Ты нас вынуждаешь, ты путаешь науку с магией.
- 00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:09,380 Да, а магии и без того хватает.
- 00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:11,840 Может, ты не заметил, но я сюда прилетел.
- 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,300 А суть науки в том, чтобы победить магию логикой и наблюдением.
- 00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:17,720 Но я наблюдал. Я был в космосе.
- 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,550 - Да, потому что ты псих! - Он прав.
- 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,560 Я бы этого не сделал, и я магический.
- 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,930 Ты был бы ужасным учёным, чувак.
- 00:21:24,020 --> 00:21:25,730 Так о чём мы?
- 00:21:25,770 --> 00:21:28,350 Откуда мы знаем, что у женщин меньше зубов?
- 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,650 - Их рты меньше? - Точно.
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