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История о хвосте Тая
Ty’s Tail Tale
Сезон: 01Серия: 10
Описание
Недовольный тем, что киллассианцы воруют городской скот и других животных для пропитания, Тираннис берет перерыв и сопровождает Шлуба на похороны отца Шлуба, мантикоры, в Персию, где они встречают ведьму Белинду. Помимо того, что Белинда была бывшей женой Шлуба, она также прокляла Тиранниса, когда тот еще не родился. Когда Белинда снимает проклятие, у Тиранниса начинает расти скорпионий хвост, который он использует, чтобы запугивать Аскилла и своих собственных горожан. Тем временем Ступендус и Гиппокамп ухаживают за Пегасом, находящимся во владении Делирии, вопреки ее указаниям, и обнаруживают тревожную связь между пегасами и единорогами.
Субтитры
- 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,540 Доброе утро. Я за молоком.
- 00:00:03,580 --> 00:00:04,670 Молока нет.
- 00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:06,170 Но ты молочник.
- 00:00:06,210 --> 00:00:08,240 У тебя должно быть молоко.
- 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,750 Молока не бывает без коров.
- 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,300 А где все коровы?
- 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:14,010 Задоубивец забрал. Сказал, вы не против.
- 00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:15,800 - Я против. - Тогда идём воевать!
- 00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:17,260 Зачем так сразу?
- 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,180 К тому же мы однозначно проиграем.
- 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,810 Так вы сказали, когда он забрал всех наших коз!
- 00:00:21,890 --> 00:00:22,930 Это до сих пор верно.
- 00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:25,100 Привет, сосед! Как живётся?
- 00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:26,190 Безмолочно.
- 00:00:26,270 --> 00:00:27,730 Забавно, у нас была та же проблема.
- 00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:29,940 Обязательно было забирать всех коров?
- 00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:31,440 Можешь вернуть хотя бы парочку?
- 00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:33,820 Я бы мог, но мы сегодня жарим стейки.
- 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:35,650 Стейки? Коровьи стейки?
- 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,200 Ну, мы не можем съесть коз. Снова.
- 00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:40,030 Раз уж я здесь, мы заодно возьмём и кур.
- 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,064 - Ну хватит. - Всего лишь на... всегда.
- 00:00:43,064 --> 00:00:44,200 А нам что есть?
- 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:47,210 Попробуй людей. Мы ели их, пока не стали хороши в животноводстве.
- 00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,420 Забирать наш скот это не животноводство.
- 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,550 Я лишь знаю, что мы в этом хороши.
- 00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:53,710 Почему вы не остановите его?
- 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,630 Он слишком крупный.
- 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:21,660 Доброе утро, семья.
- 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:25,200 Если ищешь молоко, его выпили избирательно прогрессивные каннибалы.
- 00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:27,580 Да и пусть. Я пью молоко пегаса.
- 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:28,580 Где ты его взял?
- 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:29,580 Из вымени.
- 00:01:29,630 --> 00:01:31,000 Вымя удивительно.
- 00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:33,250 Это множество грудей в форме колбасок.
- 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,590 Гениально.
- 00:01:34,670 --> 00:01:36,220 Стоп, у нашей семьи где-то есть пегас?
- 00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:39,800 У твоей матери и ее мужа где-то есть пегас.
- 00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:41,180 Там он и останется.
- 00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:42,300 Правильно, моя богиня.
- 00:01:42,430 --> 00:01:44,390 Что у нас по текущим событиям?
- 00:01:44,430 --> 00:01:48,390 Письменность снова задерживается, если я верно понял этот рисунок.
- 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,810 О, мой отец умер.
- 00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:53,190 О нет, сандалии теперь двадцать оливок за пару!
- 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:58,360 Сам я их не ношу, но если изобретут инфляцию, она может привести к изобретению рецессии.
- 00:01:58,450 --> 00:02:01,320 Извини, что? Твой отец умер?
- 00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:02,450 У нас был дедушка?
- 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,200 Ты собирался нам об этом сказать?
- 00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:07,290 Нет. И теперь у вас его нет. Проблема решена.
- 00:02:07,570 --> 00:02:11,120 Но эти новости про сандалии вызывают у меня эмоции.
- 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,660 Мы можем вернуться к Пегасу?
- 00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:13,529 Нет.
- 00:02:13,529 --> 00:02:15,290 У моего дедушки будут похороны?
- 00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:19,250 Его смерть будут отмечать тысячи людей, если ты об этом.
- 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:21,920 Он был, как говорят чудовища, чудовищным мудаком.
- 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,620 Я хочу хотя бы увидеть погребение.
- 00:02:23,670 --> 00:02:26,260 Пожалуйста. Он жил там, в стороне Персии.
- 00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:27,880 Я хочу увидеть пегаса.
- 00:02:27,970 --> 00:02:29,130 Нет.
- 00:02:29,220 --> 00:02:30,840 Я думаю, мы должны пойти вдвоём.
- 00:02:30,930 --> 00:02:33,100 Дедушка правда был таким плохим?
- 00:02:33,140 --> 00:02:34,140 Он был нормальным.
- 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:37,810 Я говорю так не потому что это правда, а потому что осуждать было его фишкой.
- 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:41,400 А я его противоположность и, следственно, крутейший.
- 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,110 Согласна. Тиран, не будь занудой.
- 00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:44,360 Хорошо.
- 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,820 Буду третьим поколением, которое по-тихому ненавидит отца.
- 00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:48,200 Или четвёртым?
- 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:53,280 Не думаю, что твой отец отказался бы посетить похороны своего отца.
- 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:56,540 Ах ты удивительно хитроумный сукин сын.
- 00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:57,200 Вызов принят.
- 00:02:57,290 --> 00:03:00,580 Приготовься посетить похороны этого помешанного на контроле
- 00:03:00,670 --> 00:03:02,500 с его впечатляюще противоречивым сыном.
- 00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:05,550 Делирия, будь добра подоить ты знаешь что, пока меня нет.
- 00:03:05,630 --> 00:03:06,340 Конечно.
- 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,380 - Пегаса! - Именно.
- 00:03:07,470 --> 00:03:09,340 Она будет доить пегаса.
- 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,510 Могу я предложить тебе седло?
- 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,100 Радуйся, что вообще меня оседлал.
- 00:03:16,180 --> 00:03:18,600 Не говори такого при людях.
- 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,850 Пегас! Пегас! Пегас!
- 00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:24,150 Вы к нему не приблизитесь.
- 00:03:24,230 --> 00:03:25,820 Почему?
- 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,990 Вы захотите на нём прокатиться, а этого нельзя делать.
- 00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:29,950 Почему?
- 00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:34,370 Ответ на этот вопрос будет невероятно долгим и непростым.
- 00:03:34,450 --> 00:03:37,410 Вы пожалеете, если станете искать эту зверюгу.
- 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:38,830 Пообещайте не делать этого.
- 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,420 Обещаем.
- 00:03:41,460 --> 00:03:43,130 Как скоро мы это сделаем?
- 00:03:43,210 --> 00:03:44,250 Мы ждали достаточно.
- 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:45,500 Ты вырос здесь?
- 00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:46,840 Это значит, что я перс?
- 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:47,840 Это раса?
- 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,010 У меня есть раса?
- 00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:50,380 Почему люди хотят иметь расу?
- 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:51,550 Я не знаю.
- 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,510 Это круто, добавляет колорита. Разве это плохо?
- 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,470 Не представляю, что может пойти не так.
- 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,630 Ну, вот и он.
- 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,300 И формально его погребли, доволен?
- 00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:01,890 Все остальные явно довольны.
- 00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:05,510 Хочешь постоять возле тела, отдать дань неуважения?
- 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,970 Нет. Если бы они понимали старого ублюдка,
- 00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:11,730 то осознали бы, что поливая его грязью, играют ему на руку.
- 00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:13,730 Ненавидя ненавистника, ты распространяешь ненависть.
- 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:17,150 Смотри, как надо делать, чтобы одержать над ним верх.
- 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:19,690 А, мёртвый папа. Подумаешь.
- 00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:21,200 Я тобой горжусь, папа.
- 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:22,910 Видишь? Мы сблизились.
- 00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:25,330 Теперь мы понимаем друг друга лучше.
- 00:04:25,370 --> 00:04:27,700 Мы в клубе разочаровывающих пап.
- 00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:31,250 Это не то, после чего мне хочется дать тебе пять.
- 00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:32,250 Справедливо.
- 00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:34,380 - Шлаб! - БелИнда.
- 00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:36,840 Это Белинда, папина ведьма.
- 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:37,880 Ты растолстел.
- 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:38,960 А ты как всегда уродлива.
- 00:04:39,050 --> 00:04:41,970 Как ты разговариваешь с бывшей любовницей?
- 00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:42,970 Серьёзно, папа?
- 00:04:43,090 --> 00:04:44,430 Что? Для ведьмы она на десятку!
- 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,470 И секс с ведьмами лучший.
- 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,470 - То, что они злые, заставляет их стараться больше... - Ла-ла-ла-ла-ла!
- 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,640 Если ты меня не слушаешь...
- 00:04:50,730 --> 00:04:52,560 - Спасибо. - Чего ты хочешь, Белинда?
- 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,480 Как ты знаешь, я отвечала за все проклятия твоего отца.
- 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,480 Вот таким вот был мой старик.
- 00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:58,900 Он поручал проклятия другим.
- 00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:02,360 Теперь, когда он мёртв, я предлагаю снять их со скидкой.
- 00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:03,910 Уверена, на тебе есть пара.
- 00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:05,740 Пара десятков, но нет спасибо.
- 00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:08,540 Ты просто смиришься с проклятиями отца?
- 00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:10,660 Смысл проклятия в том, чтобы утвердить власть.
- 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,330 Если я признаю его власть, он победит, сын.
- 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,170 О, ты его сын? Любопытно...
- 00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:18,080 Да, похоже, я прокляла тебя еще в утробе матери.
- 00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:19,710 Разве не прелестно?
- 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,550 Я проклят? Чем?
- 00:05:21,590 --> 00:05:24,930 Я не веду записей. Письменности еще нет.
- 00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:26,850 О, я как раз не читал об этом.
- 00:05:26,890 --> 00:05:29,180 Будьте добры снять проклятие, мадам.
- 00:05:29,270 --> 00:05:31,350 Оставь его, сын. Не доставляй ему удовольствия.
- 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,520 Папа, выслушай меня.
- 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:38,480 Твое стремление не позволить отцу контролировать и определять тебя контролирует и определяет тебя.
- 00:05:38,570 --> 00:05:40,780 Ай. Ты меня уделал, как говорят люди.
- 00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:42,110 Ну как знаешь.
- 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,320 Вот что. Я сниму это за счёт заведения
- 00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:47,320 в счёт того раза с твоим отцом на заведении.
- 00:05:47,370 --> 00:05:48,950 Если бы дымоходы могли говорить...
- 00:05:48,990 --> 00:05:51,580 Можешь заодно убрать этот разговор из моей памяти?
- 00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:53,500 Готово.
- 00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:54,580 - Проклятия сняты. - И всё?
- 00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:57,540 Я ожидал чуть больше, ну, света и магии, зрелищности.
- 00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:59,250 Хочешь зрелищ - найми клоуна.
- 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:05,220 С нас достаточно веселья или ты хочешь обнять труп своего нового любимого родственника?
- 00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:06,590 Не, можем лететь.
- 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,350 Как он посмел проклять твоего нерождённого сына.
- 00:06:09,390 --> 00:06:10,640 Он меня даже не знал.
- 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,180 Однако же теперь ты знаешь его лучше многих.
- 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,560 - Ого! - Настоящий пегас.
- 00:06:19,570 --> 00:06:20,860 Он выглядит грустно.
- 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:22,820 Еще бы. Он прикован к стене.
- 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:26,740 - Это ужасно. - Бедный пегги. Тебе грустно?
- 00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:28,780 Мама запретила на нём летать,
- 00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:30,910 но она не запрещала его освобождать.
- 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,410 Умно, но не думаю, что это спасёт нас от смерти.
- 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:36,210 Неважно, я это сделаю. Я приму удар на себя.
- 00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:38,670 - Так-то лучше. - И?
- 00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:39,960 Раз уж мы уже в беде...
- 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,590 - Можно и полетать. - Логично.
- 00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:57,350 Эй!
- 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,770 Моя очередь.
- 00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:04,110 Сделаем еще круг по городу.
- 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:07,400 Давай.
- 00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:10,570 Пегги, я прошу тебя развернуться.
- 00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:13,740 Он не реагирует.
- 00:07:13,790 --> 00:07:16,250 Давай, пегас! Опусти нас!
- 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:19,370 Мы освободили тебя. Ты чего, бро?
- 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,130 Ладно, летающий осёл.
- 00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:24,550 Живо приземляйся, или я тебя прирежу.
- 00:07:24,630 --> 00:07:25,960 Да, отличная идея.
- 00:07:26,090 --> 00:07:27,800 Убьём то, на чём мы летим по небу.
- 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,090 Я не слышу твоих идей.
- 00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:36,060 Единороги это маленькие пегасы?
- 00:07:36,140 --> 00:07:37,100 Ай!
- 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,730 Единороги жалят рогами?
- 00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:44,690 Я не могу пошевелиться. Убеди их поднести шеи к моему рту.
- 00:07:44,780 --> 00:07:46,445 Эй!
- 00:08:10,430 --> 00:08:12,680 Нет, нет, нет!
- 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:16,510 Нет, нет!
- 00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:21,440 Помнишь, мама сказала нам, что есть непростая причина не летать на пегасе?
- 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,480 Знаю, я сейчас очень зол на себя.
- 00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:26,900 Ну и день.
- 00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,320 Мы когда-нибудь узнаем, что было проклято?
- 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:30,990 Может, размер члена.
- 00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:33,910 То есть из-за проклятия он был огроменным.
- 00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:37,790 Да, я чувствую, что теперь его размер стал средним.
- 00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:41,920 Хорошо вывернулся. И эй, спасибо, что заставил меня слетать.
- 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,420 Ты упрямый и требовательный, но ты совсем не похож на него.
- 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,550 Спасибо, папа. Я лучше буду как ты.
- 00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:50,840 По большей части, за вычетом чересчур откровенных высказываний.
- 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,930 Ладно, я пошёл в постель к твоей матери со слугой или парочкой.
- 00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:55,260 Я ничего не слышал.
- 00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,900 Тиран, видел своих брата и сестру?
- 00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:06,560 Я говорю про большую тупицу и склизкого гремлина.
- 00:09:06,650 --> 00:09:07,860 Фу, мерзость.
- 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:11,360 Наверно снится гражданская ответственность.
- 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,950 Что такое с моей задницей?
- 00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:17,910 Похоже, из тебя вылез хвост.
- 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,330 Что происходит?
- 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:24,000 О да. Поглядите на этого красавца.
- 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,960 Я думал, проклятие снято? Что-то не похоже.
- 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:31,460 Ну, неродившегося ребёнка обычно проклинают быть обезображенным.
- 00:09:31,550 --> 00:09:35,800 И отсутствие хвоста вписывается в представления твоего отца об уродстве.
- 00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:37,760 Повезло, что твой мозг не уменьшился.
- 00:09:37,850 --> 00:09:40,390 То есть это мое естественное тело?
- 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,640 Я не человек?
- 00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:44,840 Лично я считаю человечность конструктом.
- 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:48,220 Все люди произошли от богов и чудовищ.
- 00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:51,060 Но по строгому определению он, пожалуй, прав.
- 00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:53,310 Кто он теперь, дорогой? СкорпитАвр?
- 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,190 ЧедОвище?
- 00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:55,440 ЖалогОн.
- 00:09:55,570 --> 00:09:57,320 Хватит гадать кто я в моем присутствии.
- 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:01,150 Я царь города людей. Это будет стоить мне работы.
- 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,400 Подданные должны верить, что я один из них.
- 00:10:03,490 --> 00:10:04,490 А я урод!
- 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:05,910 - Без обид. -Я не в обиде.
- 00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:08,120 Для меня ты стал менее уродливым.
- 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,700 И знай, я любил тебя раньше и люблю сейчас.
- 00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:13,620 Согласна. Хвост едва ли что-то портит.
- 00:10:13,670 --> 00:10:17,670 Ну, далеко не так сильно, как тонкие ручонки и нос репкой.
- 00:10:17,710 --> 00:10:19,500 Спасибо за поддержку.
- 00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:21,670 Пожалуйста, найди ведьму и верни проклятие.
- 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,340 А пока мне придётся это скрывать.
- 00:10:23,430 --> 00:10:26,550 Мама, можешь одолжить мне платье, но только без насмешек?
- 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:27,760 Конечно!
- 00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:31,520 Только не растяни дырку для шеи своей большой башкой.
- 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,390 Действие яда проходит.
- 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,270 Я могу ограниченно двигаться.
- 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,440 А ты?
- 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,480 Из-за разницы в размерах, я смогу отрицательно мотнуть головой через неделю.
- 00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:43,150 Попробую сделать что-нибудь сама.
- 00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:54,830 Это ограниченные движения?
- 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,040 Ага. Хорошо, у этих ребят нет подготовки.
- 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,010 Привет! Сюда идёт нормальный король.
- 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,140 Эй, ты так и не вернул тех коров?
- 00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:13,140 Нет.
- 00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:14,640 Тиран, привет!
- 00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:18,600 Когда ты сделал нас животноводами, то не сказал, что животным нужно столько травы!
- 00:11:18,650 --> 00:11:19,980 И земли!
- 00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:20,900 Мы одолжим немного?
- 00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:22,650 Теперь ты одалживаешь землю?
- 00:11:22,690 --> 00:11:24,490 Чем это отличается от вторжения?
- 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,990 Никто не пострадает.
- 00:11:26,070 --> 00:11:29,820 Но когда ты говоришь такие вещи, это звучит как завуалированная угроза.
- 00:11:29,870 --> 00:11:32,450 Честно тебе скажу, мы простые отсталые люди.
- 00:11:32,540 --> 00:11:34,540 Я не умею вуалировать угрозы.
- 00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:35,910 Мы возьмём еще куриц?
- 00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:38,240 Извини, но я вынужден сказать "нет".
- 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:41,950 Или ты можешь сказать "Прошу, хватит убивать меня, царь Задоубивец. Это так больно".
- 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,580 Так, так, насилие ни к чему.
- 00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:46,170 И я так думал. Но теперь...
- 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:47,830 Что за?.. Что это было?
- 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:49,540 - Ничего. - Уже не ничего.
- 00:11:49,630 --> 00:11:52,710 - Ух! Ах! Я не чувствую руку. - Я не хотел.
- 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,550 Ты не человек, ты...
- 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:55,720 Нет, я не чудовище.
- 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,970 А если и чудовище, то я не хочу им быть.
- 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,350 Ясно. Я тебя понял, друг.
- 00:12:01,390 --> 00:12:02,850 Нет, это не завуалированная угроза.
- 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,270 Мы не знаем, что это такое.
- 00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:06,560 Пойдём найдём диких куриц.
- 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,190 Мы же не хотим быть нецивилизованными.
- 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,320 Вот жопа.
- 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,570 Я знаю. И я извинился.
- 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,240 Нет, в смысле, это круто.
- 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,700 Я крут?
- 00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:19,110 Я крут.
- 00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:20,570 Вы должны бежать!
- 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:23,240 Целая туча плотоядных единорогов уже близко!
- 00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:27,960 Ну да, "целая туча огромных единорогов уже близко". Как же.
- 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,353 С чего нам такое придумывать?
- 00:12:29,478 --> 00:12:32,630 Кто знает? Может быть, чтобы мы покинули город, и вы забрали наши вещи.
- 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,050 А что есть в вашем городе?
- 00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:35,540 Ничего, что вы можете забрать!
- 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:39,130 Этот город делает особенным его непокорный дух.
- 00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:40,680 Мы не слушаем чужаков!
- 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,350 Это не очень приятная черта.
- 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:43,560 Народ, вы это слышали?
- 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,060 Мы группа неприятных горожан!
- 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:49,100 Ха-ха-ха-ха, ну и что?
- 00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:50,560 Ладно, пока.
- 00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:55,360 У кого-то есть какие-нибудь вопросы?
- 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,780 Да, Стив?
- 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,280 Кажется, мое предложение не восприняли всерьёз.
- 00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:01,990 Мы проголосовали, Стив.
- 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,370 Никто не хочет, чтобы был день Стива.
- 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,790 - Я хочу. - Никто другой.
- 00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:08,790 Они не Стив, почему их голоса вообще считаются?
- 00:13:08,870 --> 00:13:10,750 - Неплохой аргумент. - Плохой.
- 00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:12,170 Демократия так не работает.
- 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,880 Откуда знать, что демократия вообще работает?
- 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,960 Да, эти собрания получаются хаотичными.
- 00:13:16,010 --> 00:13:18,090 Мы только и делаем, что кричим и спорим.
- 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,970 Да, это правда.
- 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,470 Я говорю, продолжим давать демократии шанс.
- 00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:26,100 Но эй, я - всего лишь один из голосов.
- 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,890 Что насчёт тебя?
- 00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:29,350 Нравится демократия?
- 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,350 - Да. - Что "да"?
- 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:32,400 Да, ваше величество.
- 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:33,940 Что насчёт тебя, Стив?
- 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,980 Пусть голос Стива стоит тысячи голосов.
- 00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:38,110 Стив, хочешь попробовать диктатуру?
- 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,070 Стив обмочил свою тогу и ушёл.
- 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,280 Значит, тысяча голосов за демократию.
- 00:13:42,370 --> 00:13:43,740 Кто против?
- 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:48,620 Настоящим объявляю всех наделёнными властью, все свободны.
- 00:13:48,710 --> 00:13:51,960 Почему вы до сих пор здесь?
- 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,960 Вижу, ты учишься использовать эту штуку.
- 00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,130 Я умел бы это лучше, если бы родился с ней.
- 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:59,800 Но кое-кто так сильно разочаровал отца, что тот меня проклял.
- 00:13:59,930 --> 00:14:02,840 Что иронично, ему бы понравился твой новый стиль управления.
- 00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:04,760 О, я разочаровываю разочарование?
- 00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:06,140 И что ты с этим сделаешь?
- 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,560 Мы не будем ссорится, ведь я не такой как он.
- 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,760 И ты тоже.
- 00:14:09,770 --> 00:14:11,940 Ты милый, слабый и боишься щекотки.
- 00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,350 Нравится? Ху-ху!
- 00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:17,820 Ладно, ладно. Перестань.
- 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,780 Извини. Извини, папа.
- 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,320 Я потерял контроль. Ты прав. Я буду осторожен.
- 00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:25,910 Это всё, о чём я прошу, глупый, милый, маленький.... У, да.
- 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,330 Серьёзно, серьёзно.
- 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,500 Стой, стой.
- 00:14:35,910 --> 00:14:37,200 Есть совет еще лучше.
- 00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:39,370 Хватит слушать советы.
- 00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:40,910 Почему ты со мной говоришь?
- 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,000 Потому что ты должен слушать себя.
- 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,210 Мы оба знаем, что я не просто хвост.
- 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,130 Я ключ к открытию мира, что должен быть твоим.
- 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,880 Царь, ты будешь легендарен.
- 00:14:50,930 --> 00:14:53,300 Тебе нужно только жалить.
- 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,850 Ты захватишь города.
- 00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:58,430 Смерть подонкам, да-да-да.
- 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,980 Будь крутейшим из царей.
- 00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:03,600 Дворцы роскошные.
- 00:15:03,690 --> 00:15:06,020 Чаши из золота.
- 00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:08,230 Выпей лучшего вина.
- 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,940 Тебе будет не до сна.
- 00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:13,320 Превзойдёшь всех в одиночку
- 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:16,240 С новой острой пятой точкой.
- 00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:18,370 Покоряй, грабь племена.
- 00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:23,040 Твой хвост велик, им всем хана.
- 00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:26,420 Эй, мне показалось, или эта штука тебе поёт?
- 00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,960 Что? Нет. Ты о чём?
- 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,500 Хорошо. Остерегайся этого.
- 00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:31,380 Это всегда не к добру.
- 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,090 Ладно, да, я хочу, чтоб меня уважали.
- 00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:36,390 Как минимум чтобы смотрели в глаза.
- 00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:39,100 И слуги не плевали в бокал.
- 00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:43,310 Мой новый зад, твой час настал.
- 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,810 На этот раз я уверен, что слышал пение.
- 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,310 Потому что ты безумен.
- 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,730 Этой семье нужны границы.
- 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,230 Убивайцы согласились вернуть коров.
- 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,190 Невероятно!
- 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,940 Спасибо большое. Вы великий царь.
- 00:15:59,030 --> 00:16:00,150 А ты нормальный животновод.
- 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,410 Но я беру на себя весь риск, ты мог бы делать для меня больше.
- 00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:04,740 Например?
- 00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:07,160 Каждый день приноси во дворец ведро свежего молока.
- 00:16:07,290 --> 00:16:09,200 Так много не могу.
- 00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:13,420 - Но я дам вам столько, сколько... - Приятель, приятель.
- 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:14,710 Прошу, не надо.
- 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,170 Не бойся.
- 00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:19,590 Он дёргается, только когда не напьётся молока.
- 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:23,220 Не знаю, чем ты недоволен. Это ужасно выгодно.
- 00:16:23,260 --> 00:16:25,390 Твоя жизнь не так много стоит.
- 00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:27,100 Если я отдам всё молоко, я умру.
- 00:16:27,140 --> 00:16:30,600 Думаю, причина твоей смерти будет совершенно противоположной.
- 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,520 Не веришь мне?!
- 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,900 Тиран, если ты станешь моим отцом,
- 00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:37,230 то я и перестану пытаться не стать им.
- 00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:40,440 Тогда, возможно, я стану лучшим отцом, сделав то, чего не делал он.
- 00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:42,650 То есть изменившись. Даже если при этом я стану им.
- 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,530 О чём ты вообще говоришь?
- 00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,200 Я говорю, что разговоры кончились.
- 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:48,660 Наконец-то.
- 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:49,990 Приятно, не правда ли?
- 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,500 Если отец слабее сына, он недостоин быть отцом.
- 00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:54,500 - Говоришь как мой отец. - Ты говоришь как свой сын.
- 00:16:54,540 --> 00:16:56,330 - Я должен. - Хорошо.
- 00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:57,540 Помоги нам!
- 00:16:57,630 --> 00:16:59,540 Единороги убьют нас всех!
- 00:16:59,630 --> 00:17:02,460 Хм, звучит как ваша проблема.
- 00:17:02,550 --> 00:17:04,260 Я бессмертна, если что.
- 00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:06,130 Мы облажались, надо было слушать тебя.
- 00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,510 Мораль всегда такова.
- 00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:12,220 Если пегасы такие опасные, почему ты сразу нам об этом не сказала?
- 00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:14,640 Я говорила, что всё непросто.
- 00:17:14,690 --> 00:17:17,230 Вы запустили новый пегасовый цикл жизни.
- 00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:20,650 Получай.
- 00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:23,110 - Чего это они? - Не знаю.
- 00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,240 Есть отличная идея. Ребята, ребята!
- 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:29,240 Перестаньте драться друг с другом и начните драться с единорогами.
- 00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:31,080 Я в жизни не слышал ничего глупее.
- 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:32,620 Мы дерёмся друг с другом.
- 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,660 Чем тут может помочь драка с единорогами?
- 00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:37,420 И что важнее, откуда взялись единороги?
- 00:17:37,460 --> 00:17:39,500 Вы освободили чёртового пегаса?
- 00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:42,000 Да, отец. Поддайся своему гневу.
- 00:17:42,090 --> 00:17:43,210 Покажи им.
- 00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:45,010 Покажи своим детям, кто тут отец!
- 00:17:45,050 --> 00:17:46,930 Я не стану этого делать!
- 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,140 Ладно, у меня закончились идеи.
- 00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:52,350 Мама, что нам делать?
- 00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:54,140 Всё, что я вам скажу.
- 00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:59,100 Так, насколько помню, естественный враги единорогов - кобры.
- 00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:02,860 Так что я просто призову кучу кобр, и проблема решится сама собой.
- 00:18:06,490 --> 00:18:10,070 Ясно. Людей они ненавидят сильнее, чем друг друга.
- 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,330 Следовало предвидеть.
- 00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:13,740 Твой отец был прав.
- 00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:16,450 Чтобы люди меня слушались, они должны бояться.
- 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,870 Люди боялись его, но еще они его ненавидели.
- 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,290 Меня и так ненавидят!
- 00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:22,500 Но ты всё равно пытался улучшить их жизнь.
- 00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:24,050 Я был лохом.
- 00:18:24,130 --> 00:18:27,220 Но теперь нет, теперь у меня есть это!
- 00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:32,300 Это всё, что ты можешь, сука?
- 00:18:32,350 --> 00:18:35,060 Мы не должны помочь? Это наша вина.
- 00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:36,810 Сейчас мы только помешаем.
- 00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:38,940 Да, у тебя не было хвоста из-за проклятия.
- 00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:42,190 Но это не делает менее естественным то, каким человеком ты стал.
- 00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:43,770 Ненависть отца оттолкнула меня.
- 00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,110 Сделала меня другим.
- 00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:47,400 Поэтому я встретил твою мать.
- 00:18:47,450 --> 00:18:49,820 И поэтому я воспитал тебя иначе.
- 00:18:56,330 --> 00:18:59,160 Хочешь драться грязно? Хорошо.
- 00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,670 И поэтому ты стал таким, каким стал, без хвоста:
- 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,470 хорошим, добрым человеком, которым я горжусь.
- 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,680 - Ты правда так считаешь? - Да.
- 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,140 Почему ты раньше не сказал?
- 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,640 Ты ужасный отец!
- 00:19:17,730 --> 00:19:19,060 Так-то лучше.
- 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,520 Надеюсь, вы двое усвоили какой-нибудь урок.
- 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:26,650 Что не следует запирать опасное чудовище, только потому что ты любишь его молоко?
- 00:19:26,650 --> 00:19:29,360 Что нельзя летать на пегасе вашего отца.
- 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,400 Насколько вкуснее молоко пегаса?
- 00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:33,950 Оно не может стоить всего этого.
- 00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:36,740 Попробуй.
- 00:19:36,830 --> 00:19:39,370 Ого, вот это да.
- 00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,500 И я хочу.
- 00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:44,170 Дети, уберите свои жадные рты от моего пегаса!
- 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,500 Что случилось с тираном?
- 00:19:45,590 --> 00:19:48,130 Снял проклятие, отрастил хвост, стал злым.
- 00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:51,010 Блин. Теперь моя задница кажется скучной.
- 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:54,390 Теперь я должен отвести его к ведьме и вернуть проклятие.
- 00:19:54,470 --> 00:19:55,680 Как там Белинда?
- 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,220 Даже отвратительнее, чем я ее запомнил.
- 00:19:58,310 --> 00:19:59,680 Ты переспишь с ней, не так ли?
- 00:19:59,770 --> 00:20:02,980 Ради сына я сделаю всё, необходимо.
- 00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:06,270 Где я?
- 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:07,690 В доме ведьмы.
- 00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:10,690 Радуйся, она согласилась вернуть проклятие.
- 00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:11,740 Отлично.
- 00:20:11,820 --> 00:20:13,280 Я не был готов к такой силе.
- 00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:16,490 И мне не хочется прорезать дырку для хвоста во всех тогах.
- 00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:19,580 К сожалению, ведьмы ничего не делают просто так.
- 00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:23,460 Не каждый отец согласился бы на секс с ведьмой, чтобы помочь сыну. Спасибо.
- 00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:25,500 - Я люблю тебя, папа. - Я тебя тоже.
- 00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:28,670 А теперь извини, долг зовёт.
- 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,090 Да, пожалуйста!
- 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,980 Спасибо, что возвращаешь наших животных.
- 00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:44,600 Ну, тех, что остались.
- 00:20:44,650 --> 00:20:48,360 У тебя животноводство выглядело проще, чем оно есть. Это твоя вина.
- 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,400 Что вы будете есть без животноводства?
- 00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:51,940 Вернёмся к каннибализму.
- 00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:53,400 Эта система эффективнее.
- 00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:56,660 Мы перерабатываем старых и больных в еду.
- 00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:59,950 Эта система звучит на удивление устойчиво.
- 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,160 Рад, что всё вернулось на круги своя.
- 00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:06,170 Если снова отрастишь хвост, используй его ответственно.
- 00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:08,920 Пожалуй, я заслужил... что-то.
- 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,380 Хотя наверно ты мог бы просто принять мои искренние извинения.
- 00:21:12,470 --> 00:21:18,010 Заглядывай к убивайцам, если захочешь одолжить пару неразбитых яиц, сосед.
- 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,570 Morning. Just came to get some milk.
- 00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:04,572 Oh, we don't have any.
- 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,206 But you're a dairy farmer.
- 00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:08,242 You need to have milk.
- 00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:09,810 Can't get milk without cows.
- 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,345 Where <i>are</i> all the cows?
- 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,048 Oh, Asskill borrowed them. Said you'd be fine with it.
- 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:15,849 - I'm not. - Well, then let's go to war!
- 00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,151 That seems drastic.
- 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:19,219 Plus, you know, we'd definitely lose.
- 00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,888 Well, that's what you said when he borrowed all our goats!
- 00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:22,989 Still true today.
- 00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:25,359 Oh, hey, neighbor! How's life?
- 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,260 Milkless.
- 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,794 Funny, we used to have that problem.
- 00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:29,996 Did you really need to borrow <i>all</i> our cows?
- 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:31,531 Could we get maybe a couple back?
- 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,901 I would, but we're grilling steaks tonight.
- 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,702 Steaks? Like cow steaks?
- 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,937 Well, we can't eat goats.
- 00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:37,971 Again.
- 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:40,074 While I'm here, we should also take these chickens.
- 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,376 - Oh, come on. - I only need them for...
- 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,245 ever. - What are <i>we</i> supposed to eat?
- 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,013 Try people. We used to eat it all the time
- 00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,247 before we got so good at farming.
- 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:49,416 Taking all our livestock isn't farming.
- 00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:51,619 All I know is we're good at it.
- 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,687 [chickens clucking] - Why didn't you stop him?
- 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,689 He's just so big.
- 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,692 <i>[mysterious upbeat music]</i>
- 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:05,799 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,245 <i>Whoo!</i>
- 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:21,715 Good morning, family.
- 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,016 If you're looking for milk,
- 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,285 it's being eaten by selectively progressive cannibals.
- 00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:27,621 No need. I drink Pegasus milk.
- 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:28,622 Where'd did you get that?
- 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,623 From its udder.
- 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,957 How amazing is the udder?
- 00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:33,527 Multiple boobs shaped like wieners.
- 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,595 Genius.
- 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,263 Hold up. Does our family have a Pegasus somewhere?
- 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:39,867 Your mother and her husband have a Pegasus <i>somewhere.</i>
- 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,268 And it will remain that way.
- 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,335 Good call, my goddess.
- 00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:44,438 What's cracking in current events?
- 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,206 Written language continues to be delayed,
- 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,442 if that's what this drawing means.
- 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,877 Ah, my father died.
- 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:53,247 Oh, no! Sandals cost 20 olives a pair now!
- 00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:56,850 I myself never wear the things, but if inflation gets invented,
- 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,419 it could lead to inventing recession.
- 00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:01,489 Excuse me? Your father died?
- 00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:02,489 We have a grandfather?
- 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,257 Did you ever plan on telling us that?
- 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:07,294 No. And now you don't have one, so problem solved.
- 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:11,031 This sandal news though, it's got me feeling feelings.
- 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,733 Can we get back to the Pegasus?
- 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,034 No.
- 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,168 Is my grandfather going to have a funeral?
- 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,571 In the sense that his death will be celebrated,
- 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,106 yes, probably by thousands.
- 00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:21,775 He was what monsters call "a monster's schmuck."
- 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,410 I want to at least see him buried.
- 00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:26,113 Have a blast. He lived that way, Persia-ish.
- 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,715 I want to see the Pegasus.
- 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:28,716 No.
- 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,717 Dad, I mean, I think the two of us should go.
- 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,953 Was Grandpa really so bad?
- 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:33,987 He was fine.
- 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,222 And I say that not because it's true
- 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,657 but because judging others was <i>his</i> gimmick.
- 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:41,261 And I am the opposite of him, and therefore, mm, the coolest.
- 00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:42,997 I agree. Tyrannis, don't be a nag.
- 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,164 Very well.
- 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,398 I'll just be a third generation of sons
- 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:46,967 to quietly resent their father.
- 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,068 Or will I be the fourth?
- 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,804 I don't suppose refusing to attend a father's funeral
- 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,107 is something your father would have done.
- 00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:56,343 You majestically crafty son of a bitch.
- 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,177 Game on.
- 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,278 Get ready to attend
- 00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,380 the living crap out of a dead control freak's burial
- 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,349 with his impressively ambivalent son.
- 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,419 Deliria, be a dear and milk you-know-what while I'm gone.
- 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,220 Of course.
- 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,254 - Pegasus! - Totally.
- 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:09,223 She's going to milk the Pegasus.
- 00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:12,826 [Tyrannis struggling]
- 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,361 Could I interest you in a saddle?
- 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,963 You're lucky to be riding me at all.
- 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,465 Phrase that differently in public.
- 00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:22,703 both: Pegasus! Pegasus! Pegasus!
- 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,004 You will never be near it.
- 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,472 Both: [whining] Why?
- 00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:28,809 Because then you'll want to ride it, which you can't.
- 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:29,810 Why?
- 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,111 The actual answer to that
- 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:34,014 is incredibly long and complicated.
- 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:37,251 If you seek out this beast, you will regret it.
- 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:38,685 Promise you will not do it.
- 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,222 both: We promise.
- 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:42,990 How long before we do it?
- 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,124 That felt long enough.
- 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,325 Is this where you grew up?
- 00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:46,693 Does this mean I'm Persian?
- 00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:47,694 Is that a race?
- 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:48,895 Do--do I have a race?
- 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,430 Why do humans want to have races?
- 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:51,432 I don't know.
- 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,400 Seems cool, adds some flavor. Is that bad?
- 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,302 I can't imagine it ever going wrong.
- 00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,271 [crowd cheering] Well, there he is.
- 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,940 And he's technically being buried. Happy?
- 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,508 Everyone else certainly is.
- 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,611 Would you like to stand by the body,
- 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,178 maybe pay your disrespects?
- 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:07,615 No. If those people really understood the old bastard,
- 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:11,352 they'd realize taking a dump on him is <i>his</i> final revenge.
- 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,387 When you hate a hater, you spread their hate.
- 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:15,689 Now, here's how you really defeat my dad.
- 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:16,824 Check this out.
- 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,359 Ah, dead dad. No big whoop.
- 00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,860 That makes me proud of you, Dad.
- 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,496 See what's happening? We're bonding.
- 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,998 We understand each other better now.
- 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,368 Hey, Disappointing Dads Club.
- 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,002 That's not really the sort of thing
- 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,904 that makes me want to high five.
- 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:31,906 Fair enough.
- 00:04:31,906 --> 00:04:34,007 - Shlub! - Belinda.
- 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,510 This is Belinda, my father's witch.
- 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,711 You got fatter.
- 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:38,612 Well, you're as ugly as ever.
- 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,615 Is that any way to speak to an ex-lover?
- 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:42,616 Really, Dad?
- 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,084 What? She's a witch ten!
- 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,119 And witch sex is the best sex.
- 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,621 I think being evil makes them work harder...
- 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,123 - La-la-la-la-la! - If that makes sense.
- 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,291 Look, if you're not going to listen--
- 00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,225 - Thank you. - What do you want, Belinda?
- 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,693 Well, you know how I was responsible
- 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,129 for all your father's cursing.
- 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,131 There's a taste of the old man for you.
- 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,565 He outsourced curses.
- 00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,533 Now that he's gone,
- 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,003 I'm offering to remove them at a discount.
- 00:05:02,003 --> 00:05:03,471 I bet you've got a few.
- 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,372 I'm sure I've got dozens, but no, thank you.
- 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,975 You're going to just accept your father's curses?
- 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,310 The point of cursing is to assert power.
- 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,980 If I acknowledge his power, he wins, son.
- 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,814 Oh, are you his son? I wonder if--
- 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,216 oh, yeah, looks like I cursed you
- 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,718 when you were still in your mother's womb.
- 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,386 Isn't that adorable?
- 00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:21,221 I'm cursed? With what?
- 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:24,392 I don't keep records, kid. No written language yet.
- 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:26,493 Ah, I was just not reading about that.
- 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,862 Kindly remove my curse, madam.
- 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:29,863 Keep it, son.
- 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,032 Don't give him the satisfaction.
- 00:05:31,032 --> 00:05:33,133 Dad, hear me on this.
- 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:36,470 Your need to not let your father control and define you
- 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,138 is controlling and defining you.
- 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,707 Ouch. Sick burn, as the humans say.
- 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:41,775 You do you.
- 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,977 Tell you what. I'll do this one on the house
- 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,980 in return for when your dad did me on the house.
- 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,515 both: If chimneys could talk.
- 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,218 Can you also remove this conversation from my memory?
- 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,086 <i>[ethereal shimmering sound]</i> - There you go.
- 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,254 You're curse-free. - That's it?
- 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,856 I expected a bit more, you know,
- 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,224 light and magic, a little showmanship.
- 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,159 You want a show, hire a clown.
- 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,695 Have we had enough fun, or would you like
- 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,831 to spoon the dead body of your favorite new relative?
- 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,266 Nah, we can go.
- 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,936 The nerve of the guy that cursed your unborn child.
- 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,204 He never even met me.
- 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,806 And yet, now, you know him better than most.
- 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,808 <i>[soft dramatic music]</i>
- 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,943 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,213 - Whoa! - It's an actual Pegasus.
- 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,514 Does it look kind of sad?
- 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,483 Of course it does. It's chained to a wall.
- 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:26,420 This is awful. - Poor Peggy. Are you sad?
- 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,455 Look, Mom said we can't ride it,
- 00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,591 but she didn't say we can't free it.
- 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:33,093 That's clever, but I don't think it gets us out of dying.
- 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,862 Whatever. I'm doing it. I'll take the heat.
- 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:38,298 [grunts] That's better. - And?
- 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,633 Now that we're in trouble anyway...
- 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,236 - May as well ride it. - Makes perfect sense.
- 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:45,238 [both screaming in delight]
- 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,442 <i>[wondrous upbeat music]</i>
- 00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,711 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:51,812 [vases shattering]
- 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,213 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:56,217 Ooh! [grunts and laughs]
- 00:06:56,217 --> 00:06:57,017 Hey!
- 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,418 My turn.
- 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,354 Whoa! Ow!
- 00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:01,388 Gah!
- 00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,791 Let's do another lap around the city.
- 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:07,027 Okay. [grunting]
- 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:10,230 Uh, Peggy, requesting a turn back here.
- 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,400 [grunts] It's not responding.
- 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,870 Come on, Pegasus! Take us down!
- 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:19,005 We freed you. Be cool, bro.
- 00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:21,775 Okay, you flying donkey.
- 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,478 You land right now or I'm going to get real stabby.
- 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,613 Yeah, great idea.
- 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,447 Let's kill the thing we're soaring through the sky on.
- 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,749 I'm not hearing <i>your</i> pitches.
- 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:33,487 Whoa!
- 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,722 Are unicorns baby Pegasuses? [insect-like chittering]
- 00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:36,757 both: Ow.
- 00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:39,392 Are unicorn horns stingers?
- 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:40,494 Oof! - Ow!
- 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,595 I can't move.
- 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,364 Convince them to put their necks up to my mouth.
- 00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:48,202 - Hey! - Whoa!
- 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:51,071 [unicorns whinnying] [insect-like chittering]
- 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,808 <i>[ominous music]</i>
- 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,577 [Pegasus neighs]
- 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,580 [skittering hoofbeats]
- 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,248 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,817 [squishing] [Pegasus neighs]
- 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:10,023 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,325 No, no, no!
- 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:16,096 [person screaming] No! No!
- 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,698 [person screaming]
- 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:18,798 Remember when Mom told us
- 00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:21,101 the reason not to ride the Pegasus was complicated?
- 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,070 I know. I'm really kicking myself right now.
- 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,405 <i>[upbeat music]</i>
- 00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:26,540 What a day.
- 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,976 Will we ever know what that curse was?
- 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,644 Maybe it was wiener size!
- 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,547 Specifically the curse of it being so massive.
- 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:37,584 Yeah, I can tell I'm back to whatever the average is.
- 00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:38,518 Good save.
- 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,288 And hey, I appreciate you making me go.
- 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:44,090 You may be stubborn and needy, but you're nothing like him.
- 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:47,193 Thanks, Dad. I'd rather be like you.
- 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,497 Mostly, minus maybe the explicit verbal sojourns.
- 00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:52,566 Right, I'm off to bed with your mother
- 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:53,600 and a servant or two.
- 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,902 Blocking it out.
- 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,604 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:59,540 [griffin crowing]
- 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,908 [bigger griffon shrieks]
- 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,744 Tyrannis, have you seen either of your siblings?
- 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:04,645 You know who I mean.
- 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,413 The big, dumb one and the goo gremlin?
- 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,515 Oh, gross.
- 00:09:07,515 --> 00:09:10,985 Probably dreaming about civic responsibility.
- 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,821 Oh, why does my ass feel weird?
- 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:14,721 It would seem that
- 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,557 you've pooed a tail. [Tyrannis screams]
- 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,995 [Tyrannis screams] - What's happening?
- 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,663 Oh, yes. Look at this handsome devil.
- 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:26,600 I thought I was uncursed. How is this an uncurse?
- 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,603 Well, a standard hex to put on an unborn child
- 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,104 would be deformity.
- 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,506 And having no tail
- 00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:35,242 would fit your father's definition of hideous.
- 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,411 You're lucky you woke up with a full-sized brain.
- 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,047 You're telling me this is my natural body?
- 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,281 I'm not human?
- 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:44,285 Personally, I consider humanity a construct.
- 00:09:44,285 --> 00:09:47,521 All humans are descended from gods and monsters.
- 00:09:47,521 --> 00:09:50,523 But by strict definitions, I guess he's right.
- 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,793 What is he now, darling? Scorpitaur?
- 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:53,927 Humonstro?
- 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:54,928 Stingagon.
- 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,764 Stop figuring out what I am in front of me.
- 00:09:56,764 --> 00:10:00,600 I'm the king of a <i>human</i> city. This will cost me my job.
- 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,837 My subjects need to trust that I'm one of them.
- 00:10:02,837 --> 00:10:03,937 I'm a freak!
- 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,339 No offense. - None taken.
- 00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:07,474 To me, you now look less like a freak.
- 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:10,144 And to be clear, I loved you then and now.
- 00:10:10,144 --> 00:10:13,080 Agreed. The tail hardly compromises.
- 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,716 Not nearly as much as the spindly arms,
- 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,117 the turnip-y nose--
- 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,953 Thank you, support system.
- 00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:21,121 Please find that witch and get me re-cursed.
- 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,790 In the meantime, I have to hide this.
- 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:25,993 Mother, may I ask to borrow a dress without you mocking me?
- 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,227 Of course!
- 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:28,529 Just don't stretch out the neck hole
- 00:10:28,529 --> 00:10:30,998 with that melon of a head of yours.
- 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,266 [unicorns chomping]
- 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,835 The toxin is wearing off.
- 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,737 I might be regaining limited movement.
- 00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:37,871 What about you?
- 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:38,939 Due to the size differential,
- 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,774 I'll need a week to shake my head no.
- 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,609 I'll see what I can do on my own.
- 00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:45,980 [Stupendous grunts]
- 00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:49,082 [Unicorn neighs] Ha!
- 00:10:53,187 --> 00:10:54,554 That's limited movement?
- 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,589 I know.
- 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,491 It's a good thing these guys aren't trained.
- 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,726 [hoofbeats thundering]
- 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:02,730 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
- 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:07,001 <i>♪ ♪</i>
- 00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:09,302 Hello! Normal king coming through.
- 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,605 Oh, hey, did you ever get those cows back?
- 00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:12,606 I did not.
- 00:11:12,606 --> 00:11:14,074 Tyrannis, hey!
- 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,042 You never told me when you turned us into farmers
- 00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:18,045 that animals need so much grass!
- 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,446 And land!
- 00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:20,347 Can we borrow some?
- 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,082 You're borrowing land now?
- 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,951 How is that different from invading?
- 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,386 Nobody gets hurt.
- 00:11:25,386 --> 00:11:27,855 See, but right there, when you say stuff like that,
- 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,256 it feels like a veiled threat.
- 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,925 Honestly, we're just a simple, backward people.
- 00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,228 I don't know how to veil a threat.
- 00:11:34,228 --> 00:11:35,162 Can we have more chickens?
- 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,498 I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to say no.
- 00:11:37,498 --> 00:11:40,000 Or you could say, "Please stop killing me, King Asskill.
- 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,234 It hurts so bad."
- 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,836 There--there's no need for violence.
- 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:45,473 I didn't think so. But now...
- 00:11:45,473 --> 00:11:47,074 what the--what was that?
- 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:48,775 - It's nothing. - It's gonna be!
- 00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:50,144 [groaning] Ooh! Ah!
- 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,979 I can't feel my arm. - I didn't mean it.
- 00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,747 You're not a man. You're a--
- 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:54,948 Oh, no. I'm not a monster.
- 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,217 I--I mean, maybe I am, but I don't want to be.
- 00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,620 Right. Message received, friend.
- 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,088 No, no, no, that's not a veiled threat.
- 00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:03,523 We don't know what those are.
- 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,826 Let's go find some wild chickens,
- 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:08,462 since we'd hate to be <i>uncivilized.</i>
- 00:12:08,462 --> 00:12:09,596 [Asskill sobs]
- 00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:10,497 Bad. Ass.
- 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,833 I know it is. And I apologized.
- 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,469 No, I mean, you are a badass.
- 00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:16,937 I am?
- 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,338 I am.
- 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,773 You need to get out of here!
- 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,443 There's a huge swarm of man-eating unicorns on its way!
- 00:12:22,443 --> 00:12:26,313 Oh, yeah, the old "there's a swarm of unicorns coming."
- 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:27,114 Nice try.
- 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,515 Why would that be a thing?
- 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,650 Well, who knows?
- 00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:31,886 Maybe we all evacuate town and you take our stuff.
- 00:12:31,886 --> 00:12:33,587 What does your town have?
- 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:34,754 Nothing <i>you</i> can take!
- 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:38,391 The thing that makes this town special is its defiant spirit.
- 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,927 We don't listen to strangers!
- 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,628 That's not a real sympathetic trait.
- 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:42,863 Ya hear that, everybody?
- 00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,332 We're a group of unsympathetic townspeople!
- 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:48,335 [laughs sarcastically] So what?
- 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,804 Okay, bye.
- 00:12:49,804 --> 00:12:52,973 [hoofbeats thundering]
- 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,708 Any other issues before we move on?
- 00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:55,842 Yes, Steve?
- 00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:58,545 I feel like my proposal wasn't taken very seriously.
- 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,248 [crowd grumbling] - We took a vote, Steve.
- 00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,584 Nobody wants Steve Day to be a thing.
- 00:13:03,584 --> 00:13:05,052 - I do. - Nobody <i>else.</i>
- 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,353 Because they aren't Steve,
- 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,921 why should their votes even count?
- 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,990 - Oh, that's not a bad point. - Yes, it is.
- 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,424 That's not how democracy works.
- 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,127 How do we even know democracy is working?
- 00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:15,228 Yeah, these meetings seem pretty chaotic.
- 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,364 Yeah, all we do is shout stuff out and argue.
- 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,299 [all murmuring in agreement] - Yeah, that's true.
- 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,367 [all gasp]
- 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,703 I say we keep giving democracy a chance.
- 00:13:22,703 --> 00:13:25,339 But hey, I'm just one vote.
- 00:13:25,339 --> 00:13:27,140 How about you?
- 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,542 You like democracy?
- 00:13:28,542 --> 00:13:30,578 - Yes. - Yes, what?
- 00:13:30,578 --> 00:13:31,645 Yes, Your Majesty.
- 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:32,979 How about you, Steve?
- 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,216 Let's make Steve's vote worth a thousand votes.
- 00:13:35,216 --> 00:13:37,351 Steve, you want to try a dictatorship?
- 00:13:37,351 --> 00:13:39,353 Steve peed in his toga and left.
- 00:13:39,353 --> 00:13:41,555 A thousand votes for democracy then.
- 00:13:41,555 --> 00:13:42,990 All opposed?
- 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:47,895 I hereby declare you all empowered and excused.
- 00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:51,231 <i>[ominous music]</i> So why are you still here?
- 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,100 Learning to use that thing, I see.
- 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,369 I'd be better at it if I'd grown up with one.
- 00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:57,771 But someone disappointed their own father enough
- 00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,340 to get <i>me</i> cursed.
- 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,441 Ironic too,
- 00:14:00,541 --> 00:14:02,109 since he would have loved your new leadership style.
- 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,178 Oh, am I letting down the letdown?
- 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:05,279 You going to do something about it?
- 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:07,814 We are not fighting because I am not like him.
- 00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:08,949 Neither are you.
- 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,185 You're sweet and weak and ticklish.
- 00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:12,619 You like that? Hoo-hoo!
- 00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,120 [both laughing]
- 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,090 Okay, okay. Okay, stop.
- 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,025 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Dad.
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,528 I lost control. You're right. I'll--I'll be careful.
- 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:24,130 That's all I ask, you silly, ticklish,
- 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,231 cute, little--ooh, hoo, yeah.
- 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,567 [giggling] Seriously, seriously.
- 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:28,735 Stop, stop.
- 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:31,404 <i>[dramatic musical flourish]</i>
- 00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,243 <i>I've got even better advice.</i>
- 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,278 - Ah! <i>- Stop taking advice.</i>
- 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,946 Why am I imagining you talking?
- 00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,982 <i>'Cause you need to listen to yourself.</i>
- 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,251 <i>We both know I'm more than just a tail.</i>
- 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:47,187 <i>I'm the key to the lock on a world that should be yours.</i>
- 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,890 <i>♪ You can be a legendary king ♪</i>
- 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:52,359 <i>♪ All it takes is just one sting ♪</i>
- 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,861 <i>♪ Take out cities one by one ♪</i>
- 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,497 <i>♪ Killing jerks is proper fun ♪</i>
- 00:14:57,497 --> 00:15:00,034 <i>♪ You could be the baddest king around ♪</i>
- 00:15:00,034 --> 00:15:02,569 <i>♪ Bigger palaces ♪</i>
- 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,072 <i>♪ Golden chalices ♪</i>
- 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:07,274 <i>♪ Sip the finest of red wines ♪</i>
- 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,977 <i>♪ Bed the filthiest concubines ♪</i>
- 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,380 <i>♪ You can be the man superior ♪</i>
- 00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:15,116 <i>♪ With your pointy, new posterior ♪</i>
- 00:15:15,116 --> 00:15:17,418 <i>♪ Conquer cities, pillage tribes ♪</i>
- 00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:22,189 <i>♪ People dig those big tail vibes ♪</i>
- 00:15:22,590 --> 00:15:25,493 Hey, you're not hearing that thing singing to you, right?
- 00:15:25,493 --> 00:15:26,960 What? No. Random.
- 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,562 Good. Well, be on the lookout for that.
- 00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:30,464 It's never a good sign.
- 00:15:30,464 --> 00:15:33,166 ♪ Okay, it's true, I'd like some respect ♪
- 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,335 <i>♪ Eye contact's the least I expect ♪</i>
- 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:38,138 ♪ Or servants who won't spit in my glass! ♪
- 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:42,342 <i>♪ Maybe it's time to use my brand-new ass ♪</i>
- 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,878 This time, I'm quite sure I heard singing.
- 00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:46,346 Because you're an insane person.
- 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,782 This family needs boundaries.
- 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,088 Killasses has agreed to return your cows.
- 00:15:54,088 --> 00:15:55,889 [whistles] That's incredible!
- 00:15:55,889 --> 00:15:57,792 Thank you so much. You're a great king.
- 00:15:57,792 --> 00:15:59,026 And you're an okay farmer.
- 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,094 But since I'm taking all the risks,
- 00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,496 maybe you could do more for me.
- 00:16:02,496 --> 00:16:03,564 Hmm. Like what?
- 00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:06,033 A bucket of fresh milk delivered to the palace daily.
- 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,001 That's more than I can spare.
- 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,670 But I'll give you as much
- 00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:12,239 as, uh-- - Buddy, buddy.
- 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:13,840 Please, don't use that.
- 00:16:13,941 --> 00:16:15,008 Don't be scared.
- 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:18,445 It only gets twitchy when I haven't had enough milk.
- 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:22,082 I don't know why you're upset. This is a huge bargain.
- 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,184 Your life isn't even worth a lot.
- 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,953 If I give you all my milk, I'll die.
- 00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:27,721 I think that may be the complete opposite
- 00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:29,456 of what's going to kill you.
- 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,392 I can prove it!
- 00:16:31,392 --> 00:16:33,760 Tyrannis, if you're just going to become my father,
- 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,097 then I may as well stop trying not to become him.
- 00:16:36,097 --> 00:16:37,765 And then maybe, I will be a better father
- 00:16:37,765 --> 00:16:39,299 by doing what he would never do,
- 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,535 which is change, even if it means becoming him.
- 00:16:41,535 --> 00:16:43,371 I haven't the slightest idea what you're saying.
- 00:16:43,371 --> 00:16:46,039 [grunts] I'm saying I'm done talking.
- 00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,641 About time.
- 00:16:47,641 --> 00:16:48,742 Feels right, doesn't it?
- 00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:51,345 Any father weaker than a son doesn't deserve one.
- 00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:53,346 - You sound like my father. - You sound like his son.
- 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,182 - I'm supposed to. - Good.
- 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,417 You gotta help us!
- 00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:58,385 The unicorns are coming to kill us all!
- 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:01,222 Hmm, that sounds like a you problem.
- 00:17:01,222 --> 00:17:03,123 Immortal being in the house.
- 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,992 We messed up. We should have listened to you.
- 00:17:04,992 --> 00:17:06,360 Well, that is always the lesson.
- 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,596 If Pegasuses are so dangerous,
- 00:17:08,596 --> 00:17:11,097 why didn't you just tell us that in the first place?
- 00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:13,400 I told you it was complicated.
- 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,070 Now you started a new Pegasi life cycle--
- 00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:17,838 [thudding and grunting]
- 00:17:17,838 --> 00:17:19,506 Take that. [both grunting]
- 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,809 - What the hell is that about? - I don't know.
- 00:17:21,809 --> 00:17:24,077 I have a great idea. Guys! Guys!
- 00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,479 You stop fighting each other
- 00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:28,115 and start fighting the unicorn swarm.
- 00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,817 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
- 00:17:29,817 --> 00:17:31,052 We're fighting each other.
- 00:17:31,052 --> 00:17:33,487 Why would fighting unicorns make us like each other again?
- 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:36,256 And more importantly, why are there unicorns coming?
- 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,225 Did you free that damn Pegasus?
- 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:40,895 Yes, Father. Give in to your anger.
- 00:17:40,895 --> 00:17:41,996 Father them.
- 00:17:41,996 --> 00:17:43,864 Father your children with your rage!
- 00:17:43,864 --> 00:17:45,766 I'll do nothing of the sort!
- 00:17:45,766 --> 00:17:47,534 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
- 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,937 Okay, so I guess I'm out of ideas.
- 00:17:49,937 --> 00:17:51,204 Mom, what should we do?
- 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,007 Whatever I tell you to.
- 00:17:53,007 --> 00:17:55,309 Now, I believe the natural enemy
- 00:17:55,309 --> 00:17:57,945 of the unicorn is the cobra,
- 00:17:57,945 --> 00:17:59,579 so I just need to summon a bunch of those
- 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,715 and the problem should solve itself.
- 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,486 [all screaming]
- 00:18:05,486 --> 00:18:06,620 Right.
- 00:18:06,754 --> 00:18:08,955 It looks like they both hate people more than each other.
- 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:11,492 Should have seen that coming. [cobras hissing]
- 00:18:11,492 --> 00:18:12,626 Your father was right.
- 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,129 If I want people to listen to me, they need to be afraid.
- 00:18:15,129 --> 00:18:17,731 People were afraid of him, but they also hated him.
- 00:18:17,731 --> 00:18:19,032 My people hate me!
- 00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,368 And you still try and make their lives better.
- 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,836 Because I was a sucker.
- 00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:26,039 Not anymore. Now I have this!
- 00:18:27,975 --> 00:18:31,078 [grunts] Is that the best you've got, bitch?
- 00:18:31,078 --> 00:18:33,914 Should we be helping? This was all our fault.
- 00:18:33,914 --> 00:18:35,515 At this point, we'd just get in the way.
- 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,784 Yes, you had no tail because of a curse,
- 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:41,054 but that does not make the man you became less natural.
- 00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:42,623 My father's hatred drove me away.
- 00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:43,791 [grunts]
- 00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:44,958 It made me different.
- 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,260 That's why I met your mother.
- 00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,695 And it's why I raised you differently.
- 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,397 [Pegasus snorts] - [grunts]
- 00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:55,101 Ow!
- 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:58,005 Oh, you want to fight dirty? Good.
- 00:18:58,005 --> 00:18:59,339 [grunts]
- 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,141 [Pegasus neighs]
- 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,513 And it's why you're the way you were without a tail,
- 00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:10,350 a good man, a kind man, a man that makes me proud.
- 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,386 - You really feel that way? - I do.
- 00:19:12,386 --> 00:19:14,021 I wish you'd told me sooner.
- 00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:16,524 - [chomping] - You're a horrible father!
- 00:19:16,524 --> 00:19:18,025 That's more like it.
- 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:21,395 I do hope you two have learned some kind of lesson.
- 00:19:21,395 --> 00:19:23,897 Uh, that you shouldn't lock up a dangerous monster
- 00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:25,499 just because you like its milk?
- 00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:28,135 That you don't ride your father's Pegasus.
- 00:19:28,135 --> 00:19:30,270 How much better could Pegasus milk taste?
- 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,806 It can't possibly be worth all this.
- 00:19:32,806 --> 00:19:35,576 Take a pull.
- 00:19:35,576 --> 00:19:38,245 Oh, that's special.
- 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:40,380 I want to try. [grunting]
- 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:43,017 Kids, take your greedy mouths off my Pegasus!
- 00:19:43,017 --> 00:19:44,351 What happened to Tyrannis?
- 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,987 Removed a curse, grew a tail, turned evil.
- 00:19:46,987 --> 00:19:49,890 Oh, man. Now my butt seems so boring.
- 00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:51,725 Now I've got to take him to see a witch
- 00:19:51,725 --> 00:19:53,427 and get the curse put back.
- 00:19:53,427 --> 00:19:54,495 How is Belinda?
- 00:19:54,495 --> 00:19:57,030 Somehow even more disgusting than I remember.
- 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,566 You're going to sleep with her, aren't you?
- 00:19:58,566 --> 00:20:01,802 For my son, I'll do whatever it takes.
- 00:20:01,802 --> 00:20:03,804 <i>[soft dramatic music]</i>
- 00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:05,105 Oh, where am I?
- 00:20:05,105 --> 00:20:06,240 The witch's house.
- 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,443 You'll be happy to hear she's agreed to re-curse you.
- 00:20:09,443 --> 00:20:10,510 That's great.
- 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,146 I wasn't ready for that kind of power.
- 00:20:12,146 --> 00:20:13,747 And I really didn't want to have to
- 00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:15,248 cut a tail hole in all my togas.
- 00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:18,418 Unfortunately, witches don't do anything for free.
- 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,287 Not every father would have sex with a witch
- 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:22,155 to help their son, so thank you.
- 00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:24,358 I love you, Dad. - I love you too.
- 00:20:24,358 --> 00:20:27,528 Now, if you'll excuse me, duty calls.
- 00:20:27,528 --> 00:20:29,096 [chuckles]
- 00:20:29,096 --> 00:20:30,197 [Belinda giggling]
- 00:20:30,197 --> 00:20:31,965 Ooh, yes, please! Oh!
- 00:20:31,965 --> 00:20:35,235 [both giggling]
- 00:20:39,173 --> 00:20:41,808 I really appreciate you returning our livestock.
- 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,343 Well, what's left of it, anyway.
- 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,946 Turns out farming isn't as easy as you made it look.
- 00:20:45,946 --> 00:20:47,081 This is kind of on you.
- 00:20:47,081 --> 00:20:48,148 If you're giving up on farming,
- 00:20:48,148 --> 00:20:49,249 what are you going to eat?
- 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,717 We're going back to cannibalism.
- 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,219 It's the most efficient system.
- 00:20:52,219 --> 00:20:55,322 People get old or sick, we recycle them. Into meals.
- 00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:58,758 That sounds surprisingly sustainable.
- 00:20:58,859 --> 00:21:01,027 Good to have everything back to normal.
- 00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:03,230 [Tyrannis groans] - Next time you grow a tail,
- 00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:05,032 hopefully you'll use it responsibly.
- 00:21:05,032 --> 00:21:07,568 I guess I did deserve... something.
- 00:21:07,568 --> 00:21:09,737 Though this probably could have been handled
- 00:21:09,737 --> 00:21:11,138 with a sincere apology.
- 00:21:11,138 --> 00:21:12,572 Feel free to stop by Killasses
- 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:15,709 if you want to borrow a couple of un-smashed testicles...
- 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:16,877 neighbor.
- 00:21:16,877 --> 00:21:18,946 [groans]
- 00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:20,680 [coughs]
- 00:21:21,982 --> 00:21:25,218 [hooves clopping] [flies buzzing]
- 00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:29,189 [cows mooing]
- 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,291 <i>Did you get any of that?</i>
- 00:21:33,694 --> 00:21:35,362 <i>Bento.</i> [all cheering]
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