Подземелья и Делирия — Один из мирных жителей придумал штаны, над которыми насмехаются другие. Шлуб просит Тиранниса помочь разрешить ситуацию в баре с мирными жителями. Тем временем Гиппокамп охотится на бушующего Монстадона, где встречает Дафну, и они оказываются запертыми под землей. Теперь им предстоит выбраться из пещеры и убить Монстадона. В то же время Ступендус присоединяется к своим друзьям в походе к вершинам Олигиртоса за шлемом Япета, и за ней следует Делирия, замаскированная под женщину по имени Сьюзен, которая утверждает, что является подругой Ступендус. Она завоевывает расположение отряда Ступендус и вскоре вступает в конфликт с Япетом, когда члены отряда, сами того не зная, освобождают его из заточения.

Предыдущая серия S01 E08 Большой человек на гиппокампе

Следующая серия S01 E10 История о хвосте Тая

Подземелья и Делирия

Dungeons and Deliria

Сезон: 01Серия: 09

Описание

Один из мирных жителей придумал штаны, над которыми насмехаются другие. Шлуб просит Тиранниса помочь разрешить ситуацию в баре с мирными жителями. Тем временем Гиппокамп охотится на бушующего Монстадона, где встречает Дафну, и они оказываются запертыми под землей. Теперь им предстоит выбраться из пещеры и убить Монстадона. В то же время Ступендус присоединяется к своим друзьям в походе к вершинам Олигиртоса за шлемом Япета, и за ней следует Делирия, замаскированная под женщину по имени Сьюзен, которая утверждает, что является подругой Ступендус. Она завоевывает расположение отряда Ступендус и вскоре вступает в конфликт с Япетом, когда члены отряда, сами того не зная, освобождают его из заточения.

Субтитры

00:00:01,730 --> 00:00:03,940 Знаете, почему я люблю напиваться днём?
00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:05,270 Потому что я пьяница.
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:07,110 За пьянство!
00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:08,610 Хотите шутку?
00:00:08,650 --> 00:00:12,490 Почему единороги всегда заходят в ванну задом?
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:19,960 Друг, расскажи нам о своей новой смелой нижней человеческой одежде.
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,420 Я назвал это "штаны".
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,420 Как будто у каждой ноги есть своя тога.
00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:25,420 Превосходно. За штаны!
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:26,880 Он мне нравится.
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,050 Тогда я угощаю.
00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:30,090 - Ладно, но... - Что?
00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:32,840 Твой друг так и останется в своей шуточной смешной одежде?
00:00:32,930 --> 00:00:36,220 Потому что все закончили смеяться, и...
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:39,140 Они не просто смешные. Они практичные. Смотрите.
00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:40,310 Если я что-то уроню...
00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:42,270 Мы не наклоняемся прилюдно.
00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:44,560 Но это правило придумано для тог.
00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:46,270 - Подумайте. - Ты подумай!
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,270 Да!
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:51,700 Есть предложение: давайте все перестанем думать как одна команда и выпьем.
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:54,610 Ты нарушаешь порядок. Сними их или уходи.
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:56,530 - Мне снять штаны? - Нет, нет.
00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:58,540 Мне всё равно, как ты их называешь.
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,540 Ты можешь быть голым, как животное,
00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:05,000 или одетым в тогу, как человек, если хочешь здесь выпивать.
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,290 Я хочу здесь выпивать.
00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:09,550 И я буду делать это в штанах.
00:01:09,590 --> 00:01:10,880 Знаете что?
00:01:11,010 --> 00:01:13,380 Это заведение только что потеряло меня
00:01:13,430 --> 00:01:15,430 и концовку моей шутки про единорога.
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:20,220 Которая, уверяю вас, была восхитительно эротичной и немного расистской.
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,170 Еще двое граждан съедены за стенами.
00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:52,090 МонстадОном.
00:01:52,170 --> 00:01:53,170 Снова?
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:55,930 Разве монстадоны не должны есть странствующих людей?
00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:58,510 Возможно, они заметили, что люди перестали странствовать.
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,180 Рад, что хоть кто-то приспособился к современной жизни.
00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:03,180 Колосса, окажи братану услугу.
00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:04,270 Убей монстадона.
00:02:04,310 --> 00:02:05,730 Сегодня не могу. У меня дело.
00:02:05,770 --> 00:02:06,600 Дело?
00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:09,480 Многие люди говорят своим начальникам, что у них за дела.
00:02:09,570 --> 00:02:14,150 Ладно, я должна расплющить голову голыми руками после еще одного вопроса.
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,110 Не буду задерживать.
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,780 Мою голову ты не расплющишь.
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:18,570 - Что за дело? - Тебя не касается.
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,280 И если превратишься и последуешь за мной, я замечу.
00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:22,990 Ты не настолько интригующая.
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,750 Не льсти себе.
00:02:24,830 --> 00:02:26,870 Мам, можешь разобраться с монстадоном?
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,170 Возможно.
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:30,210 У меня есть дело.
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,340 Интригующая сучка.
00:02:32,380 --> 00:02:34,510 Я буду рад поохотиться на монстодона.
00:02:34,590 --> 00:02:38,010 Какой трус пошлёт своего альтернативно одарённого брата на бой с чудовищем?
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,220 Занятой трус?
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,510 - Разве я занят? - Сын.
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:45,520 Моему человеческому другу только что отказали в обслуживании из-за его одежды.
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:49,520 Правда? Похоже, не всех чудовищ можно сразить оружием в лесу.
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,230 Да, ты срази этого.
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,150 А я возьму оружие и пойду в лес.
00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:54,860 Командная работа.
00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:56,400 Ладно...
00:02:56,450 --> 00:02:58,950 - Вот они, штаны. - Они? Их несколько?
00:02:58,990 --> 00:03:00,490 Знаете, что это напоминает?
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:05,450 Помните того эфиопского чела и его непонятную тунику?
00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:06,830 - Рубашка. - Рубашка!
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,370 Это как перевёрнутая рубашка для задницы.
00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:10,500 Так в чём проблема?
00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:12,420 Нас заставили уйти из бара!
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:15,090 Ты хоть раз уходил из бара добровольно?
00:03:15,170 --> 00:03:16,210 Тоже верно. Не могу знать.
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:17,630 Не хочу показаться грубым.
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:22,010 Можно спросить, что ты делаешь, когда нужно выпустить кракена?
00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:22,970 Я стягиваю их.
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:24,010 Стягиваешь их?
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,640 Но в таком случае, когда ты присаживаешься, это...
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,890 Слушай, извини.
00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:30,440 Ты не обязан защищаться или объясняться.
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,150 Крапополис - свободный город.
00:03:32,190 --> 00:03:33,400 Правильно, сын.
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,440 Так что поговори с баром.
00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:37,320 Чего ты хочешь, чтобы я принял закон?
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:38,320 Я ничего не хочу.
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,450 Я аполитичный.
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,410 Но это единственный бар.
00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:42,740 Закон? Было бы отлично.
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,660 Да, все всегда так думают.
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,540 Но свобода - это палка о двух концах.
00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:49,160 Или туника для задницы о двух рукавах.
00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:50,580 Ты можешь носить, что хочешь.
00:03:50,670 --> 00:03:52,330 А бар обслуживает, кого хочет.
00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:55,250 Все винят в результате меня, а у меня есть свой повар.
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,380 Это неплохая система.
00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:57,840 Рад знакомству. Штаны клёвые.
00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:00,380 Они спасли меня от охоты на страшное чудовище.
00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:04,010 Если ты не любишь единорогов, но любишь содомию,
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,600 у меня есть для тебя шутка.
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,440 Приятель, ну ты и урод.
00:04:15,530 --> 00:04:17,650 И это я тебе говорю.
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:19,320 Какого?..
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,080 Ты та древесная красотка с кошмарной вечеринки.
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,240 Смотрите предыдущую серию с поддержкой блокчейна.
00:04:28,290 --> 00:04:29,660 У нас в лесу есть порядок.
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,540 Нельзя просто убивать то, что нам неприятно.
00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:34,960 Я не думаю, что твой друг в курсе этих правил.
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,590 Он не убивает. Он питается.
00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:41,380 А еда разделяет эту точку зрения?
00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:44,140 Потом расскажешь.
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,270 Ты живой.
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,980 Не благодаря природе.
00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:05,410 Кажется, он не знает, что ты за него.
00:05:05,450 --> 00:05:07,780 - Повзрослей. - И не подумаю!
00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:18,040 Всем привет.
00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,670 Привет великому герою!
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:25,180 Сварливая, острая на язык и предельно едкая ошеломИсса.
00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:27,010 Вы забыли "нетерпеливая".
00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:30,140 В следующий раз давайте покороче. Какой у нас сегодня приключение?
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,770 Ошеломисса?
00:05:31,850 --> 00:05:32,680 Приключение?
00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:33,480 Герой?
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,980 Иди отсюда, ты прыгаешь выше рогов.
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:41,440 Итак, мы отправляемся к пикам олийИртос
00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:44,150 в поисках легендарного шлема япЕта.
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,350 - Ура! - Да!
00:05:47,030 --> 00:05:51,200 Это было возле той оленихи, которая стоит у кучи пепла.
00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:53,290 Кажется, за мной проследили.
00:05:53,370 --> 00:05:55,000 Встретимся у ледяных пещер.
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,040 Идите.
00:05:58,370 --> 00:06:00,870 Я говорила тебе этого не делать.
00:06:00,910 --> 00:06:04,580 Почему ты геройствуешь под ненастоящим именем?
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:08,210 Если это побег от реальности, почему твой персонаж не женственный и опрятный?
00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:10,050 Я могу сделать тебя такой.
00:06:10,130 --> 00:06:12,510 Я предлагаю тебе с переходного возраста.
00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:14,840 Я сбегаю от тебя, мама!
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:16,970 Я не против быть известной как твоя дочь.
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:20,640 Но я не хочу, чтобы все мои достижения связывали с твоим именем.
00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:24,480 Очень жаль! Почему по-твоему боги заводят детей?
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,520 Они бухие и похотливые.
00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:27,940 То есть зачем мы их оставляем?
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:30,940 Они могут стать героями и поводом для гордости.
00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:33,740 Но ты, как оказалось, делаешь это втайне от меня?
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,740 Что ж, с днём твоего рождения меня.
00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:38,950 Если ты не можешь поддержать что-то, не касающееся тебя,
00:06:38,990 --> 00:06:40,540 то у меня нет причин быть твоей дочерью.
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,120 Ну угадай что?
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,460 Если ты не возьмёшь меня с собой и не дашь доказать твою неправоту,
00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:48,880 я прослежу, чтобы все в мире знали, что я твоя мать.
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:52,340 Это самое унизительное противостояние в моей жизни.
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,590 Ладно, за мной действительно проследили.
00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,600 Но всё нормально, это была...
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,350 Ох. Моя подруга СьЮзан.
00:07:02,390 --> 00:07:05,520 Привет, я Сьюзан, шутница.
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,940 Я люблю есть еду, пить жидкости, вдыхать и выдыхать.
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:29,960 Правда она нечто?
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,630 Комментарии в сделку не входили, Сьюзан.
00:07:32,710 --> 00:07:34,800 Мы никто без Ошеломиссы.
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,800 Странный вопрос: это не заставляет вас ее ненавидеть?
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,590 Ненавидеть? Мы команда!
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:43,640 Но от этого вам не хочется сделать что-нибудь тайком без нее?
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,600 Эй, Сьюзан, у тебя обычная голова.
00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:48,350 Она перестанет говорить, если я ее пробью.
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:49,650 - Оу. - Ё-моё.
00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:52,820 Это не мое дело, но не думаю, что она это заслужила.
00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:56,280 Она чуть ли не прославляет то, какая она скромная и обычная.
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,400 Что я нахожу свежим.
00:07:57,490 --> 00:07:59,450 Может, пойдём? Впереди долгий путь.
00:07:59,490 --> 00:08:01,700 Да, и мы не можем летать.
00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:03,790 Здесь холодно, верно?
00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:04,790 Бррр!
00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:06,660 Нам холодно, когда вокруг лёд.
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,210 Я уверена, что это так.
00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:10,960 Сьюзан, ты прелесть.
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,750 - Безусловно. - Ага, она такая.
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,300 Стой. Мой факел догорел.
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:20,470 Тебя, должно быть, расстраивает, что здесь нечего сжечь.
00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:21,510 Я вижу в темноте, за мной.
00:08:21,550 --> 00:08:23,180 Ладно, но...
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:25,430 Ты плачешь?
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,560 Нет.
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,270 Я тоже это слышал.
00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:31,270 Думаю, это уродливый ветер или грустный сталагмит.
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,770 Ты боишься темноты.
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,980 Мы, учёные, зовём это теорией.
00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:37,240 Удачи ее доказать.
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,360 Что за червь?
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,110 Это часть природного мира. Его не надо рубить, чтобы он светился.
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,910 Но тебе он не нужен, так что...
00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:44,870 Оставь червя! Оставь червя!
00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:47,410 - Как учёные зовут это? - Издевательство.
00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:51,120 Стоять! Разойтись!
00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:52,130 Что такое?
00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:54,130 Мужик в штанах пытался вернуться в бар!
00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:55,420 Я люблю прибухнуть!
00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:57,210 И я ношу штаны!
00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:00,800 Так, во-первых, толпы в этом городе разъяряются по любому поводу.
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,760 Похоже, вы знаете, что я прав!
00:09:03,850 --> 00:09:05,350 Папа?
00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:07,470 Вы защищаете мужика в штанах?
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,480 - У мужика в штанах есть имя. - А у меня нет?
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,230 Я узнаю твое, когда ты узнаешь его.
00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:12,350 И как его?
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,190 Э... это неважно.
00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:15,310 Просто расходитесь.
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,320 Да и плевать!
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,820 Да, ворчите, ворчите.
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,640 Я худший царь. Будто проблема во мне.
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:20,900 Спасибо за жестокий урок, кстати.
00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:23,780 Лучше бы я дрался с монстадоном.
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,240 Это та же пещера.
00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,450 Не та же.
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,200 Дафни, это не просто издёвка.
00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:30,660 Я пометил камень, видишь?
00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:32,460 Я слабею.
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:33,670 Мы далеко от деревьев.
00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:35,330 Они дают тебе силу, да?
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,340 Что? Ты не должен этого знать.
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:39,050 Я исследую и узнаю.
00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:41,300 Никто не должен знать ничего.
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:42,720 Я не должен ходить.
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,800 Слабые не должны быть сильными.
00:09:44,890 --> 00:09:47,350 Я должен сосать водоросли на камне в...
00:09:47,430 --> 00:09:48,680 В темноте.
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,600 Порядок природы несправедлив.
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,310 Я сделаю устройство, с которым ты сможешь покинуть лес.
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,900 Лес покидает меня.
00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:58,570 Ваш город пожирает деревья, оставляя после себя дерьмо.
00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:00,320 И ты не исследовал монстадона,
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,660 или знал бы, что его можно отпугнуть мочой гигантского скорпиона.
00:10:04,740 --> 00:10:08,370 Моча гигантского скорпиона, конечно!
00:10:08,450 --> 00:10:10,620 Природа едва ли устраивает взрывы?
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,710 Я мог бы расколоть камень в самом низу.
00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:13,870 Пробовал эти грибы?
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:18,790 Нет, спасибо. Я многое принимаю, чтобы не терять фокус, и мне не стоит их смешивать.
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,130 Нет, они взрываются, если поджечь.
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:24,380 Мы говорим человеческим детям, что это конфеты. Это смешно.
00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:27,510 Убийство детей... Да, я вижу, что в этом смешного.
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,060 Мои стрелы сделаны их кремня.
00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:33,180 Нам нужно много грибов и какое-нибудь липкое вещество.
00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:34,480 Это у меня есть.
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,600 Точнее, есть на мне от природы.
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,440 Держать тебя за руку было мерзко.
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,190 Это мое репродуктивное желе.
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,030 Ты привыкнешь, мама.
00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,570 - Извини, что? - Шучу.
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:46,200 Это в основном слизь.
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:50,870 Гарпии!
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:51,950 Опять?
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,960 Мы же не лезли в их гнездо и не убивали их.
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:58,540 А нет, стойте. Вообще-то, мы это сделали. Забыл.
00:10:58,630 --> 00:11:00,500 - Ура! - Как здорово!
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:04,590 Мне не терпится рассказать моим человеческим родителям об этом приключении!
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:08,510 Вы все делитесь своими достижениями со своими семьями,
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,470 или вы несколько эгоистичные и замкнутые?
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,850 - Что? - Ты зовёшь это поддержкой?
00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:16,850 Мне сейчас тоже совсем нелегко.
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:19,230 Ты знаешь, как сильно я притворяюсь, что мои ноги болят?
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,520 О нет!
00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:22,650 Еще гарпии!
00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:24,280 - Стой, что? - Мы идём!
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,200 Они нападают на Сьюзан!
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,870 Ты не станешь.
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:35,040 Стала. Ты убьёшь Сьюзан, потому что хочешь безраздельного внимания.
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,210 Или Сьюзан в порядке, потому что этого хочешь ты.
00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:40,380 Мы уже близко! Держитесь!
00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:41,500 Поздно.
00:11:41,590 --> 00:11:43,090 Ее больше нет!
00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:49,200 Помогите!
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,250 - Нет! - Сьюзан, нет!
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:55,710 Она мне очень, очень, очень нравилась!
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,170 Да, она понимала риск.
00:11:57,290 --> 00:11:59,500 Похороним ее по-геройски.
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:01,480 Сьюзан ненавидела похороны.
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,970 Она хотела, чтобы после смерти все забыли, что она когда-либо жила, и продолжили приключение.
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,680 Я думал позвать ее на свидание.
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,140 Я заметил. Она была попроще тех,
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:13,270 за кем ты обычно гоняешься, но ты всегда был саморазрушительным.
00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:15,230 Моя мама была сильной личностью.
00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:19,020 Да, и мы ищем похожих на мам, потому что хотим всё повторить и исправить.
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:22,280 И относимся к женщинам как к мусору, потому что мы дети.
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:27,740 Настоящий мужчина, уверенный и зрелый мужчина, женится на Сьюзан и боготворит ее.
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,200 Мы сделаем это сегодня.
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,290 Помолимся у алтаря нашей богине Сьюзан!
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:33,620 Сьюзан!
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:36,370 Вот ты где.
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:40,750 Да уж, эти идиоты реально хотят, чтобы ты снял штаны.
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,710 А что насчёт вас?
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,590 У меня нет слов, насколько мне всё равно.
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:45,880 Расскажу тебе секрет.
00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:47,550 Я основал город не из уважения к людям.
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,300 Будь для меня работа получше и побезопаснее,
00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:53,180 на которой можно меньше общаться людьми, меня бы тут не было.
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:56,350 От мысли о том, что чьи-то штаны могут стоить мне всего...
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,810 То есть не только мне, всему городу, жизням людей.
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,570 Это просто нелепо!
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:02,650 Это бессмыслица!
00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:05,280 Ты согласен, да? Это бессмы...
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:07,910 Где мужик в штанах?
00:13:07,990 --> 00:13:08,910 Был здесь, но...
00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:10,620 Ты что-то ему сказал?
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:11,740 Ну, ничего нового.
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:12,740 Ты знаешь мою позицию.
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:13,870 У тебя ее нет.
00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:15,000 Это тоже позиция.
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,080 Спорить не стану.
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,500 Ты мне всегда за это нравился.
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,500 Ладно, идём на поиски, пока его не убили.
00:13:23,590 --> 00:13:25,010 Мужик в штанах!
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:28,550 Мы собрались почтить память Сьюзан, что не было моей идеей.
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:32,850 Она была более властной, чем люди думали, и держалась за эту власть обеими руками.
00:13:32,890 --> 00:13:38,140 Она была так помешана на контроле, что я в шоке от того, что она лежит и не перебивает.
00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:41,610 - Уф. - В чёрном юморе не должно быть больше юмора?
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:45,400 Да, цель обычно не в том чтобы принизить усопшего.
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,570 Угадайте что?
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,280 Я знала настоящую Сьюзан, а вы нет.
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:52,240 Так что дайте мне выговориться, или следующие похороны будут вашими.
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:53,740 - Можно и так. - Справедливо.
00:13:53,790 --> 00:13:54,910 Да, да. Хорошо.
00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:56,290 Уверен, что это сработает?
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,580 Это одна из двух вероятностей.
00:13:58,670 --> 00:13:59,750 А вторая?
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:01,210 Нас завалит горой обломков.
00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:04,250 Ну, по крайней мере я умру с другом.
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:07,800 С червём? У него даже лица нет!
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,630 А, ты про меня.
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:11,550 Это... мило.
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,850 На заметку, лучше бы мы с тобой выжили.
00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:15,930 Очевидно, я тоже предпочту это.
00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:18,230 Ладно, поехали.
00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:27,440 - Нам удалось! - Сколько света!
00:14:27,530 --> 00:14:29,320 Я люблю природу!
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,030 Я люблю науку!
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:31,660 - Природа! - Наука!
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:32,820 - Природа! - Наука!
00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,870 Монстадон!
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,330 Вот он.
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,750 Похоже, что он предпочёл свободу.
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:45,840 Наверно, урок тут в том, что если дать время, многие проблемы решатся сами собой.
00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:55,930 А однажды она оставила меня на плоту - и под плотом я имею в виду кусок дерева -
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,850 чтобы пойти на подводную оргию во дворце Посейдона.
00:14:59,890 --> 00:15:00,890 Веселишься?
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:02,480 Сьюзан жива!
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,560 Сьюзан, я люблю тебя!
00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:05,860 Но почему нет крови?
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:10,940 По той же причине, почему у тебя нет шансов нескладный тупица. Я олимпийская богиня.
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,780 А также мать этой неблагодарной бестолочи,
00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:17,530 и это судя по всему худшее, что с ней когда-либо случалось!
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:18,660 Э, да.
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:22,040 И ты когда-нибудь забудешь про случай с Посейдоном?
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,750 Что я должна была сделать? Взять ребёнка на оргию?
00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:27,590 Она была под водой!
00:15:27,670 --> 00:15:28,750 Я предупреждала.
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,840 Я больше никогда с тобой не заговорю.
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:32,420 Уходи!
00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:35,720 Подождите, в нашем отряде искателей приключений есть богиня?
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,050 Она не в нашем отряде.
00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:39,720 Разве что вам бы этого хотелось.
00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:40,570 Что?
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:43,890 Но дочь не хочет меня видеть, так что вам придётся выбрать.
00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:44,900 - Что? - Тебя.
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:46,560 - Мы выбираем тебя! - Я люблю тебя!
00:15:46,690 --> 00:15:47,900 Вы худшие!
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,730 Мы тебя поняли.
00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:52,740 И вопреки твоей траурной речи, у меня есть чувства.
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,070 Ты такая злая!
00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:57,300 Я согласен с твоей мамой. Ты плохая дочь.
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,490 - Да, но тебе нельзя это говорить. - Да, мэм.
00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:06,240 Это было так просто.
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,240 Не верится, что твоя дочь нарочно выбирала трудный путь.
00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:11,750 - Обрекая себя на неудачу. - Я негодую.
00:16:11,790 --> 00:16:13,920 Мы могли всё это время приключаться с Делирией.
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,000 Да, хорошая новость: мне всё даётся проще.
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:19,210 Плохая новость: заскучать мне тоже проще.
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,300 Давайте заканчивать.
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:24,180 Хм, ты и Ошеломисса очень похожи в этом отношений.
00:16:24,260 --> 00:16:27,010 Можешь своей магией вжикнуть оттуда тот шлем?
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,470 Ох.
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,510 Вжик.
00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:35,730 Мы это сделали. Ура. Вернёмся домой и больше никогда не будем это повторять.
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:37,310 Нет, продолжим путь.
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,190 Впереди может быть больше приключений.
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,990 Ты что, впервые в приключении?
00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:47,490 Да что я тебе говорю. Ты идёшь с нами?
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:50,910 Я пошла на это, только чтобы провести время со своей идиотской дочерью.
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,250 И теперь я застряла с вами, ее еще более идиотскими друзьями.
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,170 Которые буквально бросили ее, и глазом не...
00:17:05,970 --> 00:17:07,260 Эй, Делирия!
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:11,920 Помнишь, как ты и твои олимпийские дружки заточили меня тысячи лет назад?
00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:12,970 япЕт?
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,180 Что здесь делает титан?
00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:16,100 Это нормально, когда такое случается?
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:18,060 Нет! Я не знаю, что это!
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,400 Боже правый!
00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:23,110 Все смертные изнутри такие?
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,070 Да, в целом всё так же.
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,610 А теперь твоя очередь.
00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:31,580 Со мной такого раньше не бывало, клянусь.
00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:36,210 Ты и остальные ублюдочные олимпийцы погребли меня в яме на веки вечные!
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,460 Причём яма была так себе!
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,420 Это были все другие олимпийцы!
00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:44,210 Я пыталась им помешать. Я говорила: "Ребята, нет, это не круто. Япет лучший".
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:46,050 - Ложь! - Ну да, очевидно.
00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:48,180 Будто ты был бы честен в моей ситуации.
00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:53,060 Я всегда считала тебя красивым. Не в традиционном смысле.
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,060 Но для ужасного титана ты на десять из десяти!
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,480 Ты вернулась спасти меня!
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,320 Как и положено эпическим героям из легенд.
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:04,650 О, и все твои друзья мертвы.
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,860 Ты стоишь на том, что от них осталось.
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,460 Всё, у меня больше нет идей.
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:20,630 Нужно вернуть его обратно в яму и посыпать сверху магической грязью.
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:23,340 Она зачарована весить, как целый мир.
00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:25,210 Только так можно поймать титана.
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:27,220 Да-да, магическая грязь.
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:29,220 Мне нужно что-то попрочнее.
00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:32,180 Я могла бы наколдовать тебе... У-у!
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,820 Вот как побеждают титанов.
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:45,980 Мы это сделали!
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,320 Ну, в основном ты.
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,450 Пошли домой.
00:18:48,530 --> 00:18:51,870 Наверное это из-за сотрясения, но я очень тобой горжусь.
00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:53,120 Мы хорошая команда.
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,410 Мы не станем это повторять.
00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,200 Нет, ни за что на свете.
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,330 Эй, моча скорпиона!
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,590 И я не стал прибивать ее к дереву.
00:19:03,670 --> 00:19:04,790 Здорово.
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,340 Но это ничего не изменит.
00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:09,050 Лес должен убить город или погибнуть, пытаясь.
00:19:09,090 --> 00:19:10,840 Я это уважаю!
00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:12,430 Я уважаю тебя.
00:19:12,510 --> 00:19:13,890 До свидания.
00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:15,390 Пока.
00:19:19,850 --> 00:19:20,890 Надо же!
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:28,110 С сегодняшнего дня я ношу штаны.
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,200 Еще я буду принимать новые законы, которые вам не понравятся.
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,200 Потому что они будут гарантировать свободу.
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,330 И сделать это можно, лишь отнимая свободу.
00:19:36,370 --> 00:19:40,080 Вот что бывает, когда избалованные дети балуются с игрушками. Их отбирают.
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,280 Человек оказался в опасности из-за того, что нам было некомфортно.
00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:48,450 Мы посчитали человека неудобным и убили его, вместе, не пошевелив и пальцем.
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:51,040 Это сила свободы.
00:19:51,130 --> 00:19:55,250 Сила, с которой нам нельзя играть, пока мы не повзрослеем.
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:57,420 И мы повзрослеем.
00:19:57,510 --> 00:19:59,380 Мы возьмёмся за ум.
00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:01,380 Мы станем большими и сильными.
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:03,470 Мы изменим свое отношение друг другу.
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,890 И таким образом мы изменим весь мир.
00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:09,680 И это сделает меня знаменитым.
00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:12,350 Это не обязательно должно быть в приоритете.
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,220 Это просто предсказуемый результат.
00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:17,980 Объявляю минуту молчания по мужику в штанах, кем бы он ни был.
00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:20,320 Кто-то знал его имя?
00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:22,320 Никто или это минута молчания?
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:23,950 Я не слышал его имя.
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:25,450 - Извините. - Какой стыд.
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:28,870 Минута стыдного молчания по мужику в штанах.
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,370 Знаю, я сказал, что буду носить их всегда.
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:35,500 Но думаю, я донёс мысль. И они впиваются мне в зад.
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:37,380 Можно я перестану их носить?
00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:38,460 Пожалуйста.
00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:39,340 Да, конечно.
00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,010 - Мы не против. - Спасибо.
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:43,590 Позор нам и спасибо вам.
00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:50,980 И почему это когда что-то пробивает нашу смертную кожу, из нас вытекает красная штука?
00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:53,190 Ей что, больше делать нечего?
00:20:56,570 --> 00:20:59,530 И что за дела с языками?
00:20:59,610 --> 00:21:04,450 Мы должны использовать мясо у себя во рту, чтобы почувствовать вкус другого мясо?
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:06,990 Кто это придумал?
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,500 Ты сказала им, что это она, да?
00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:14,210 Я решила, так будет правильнее.
00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:19,880 И наши волосы продолжат расти, если их не подстричь, я права?
00:21:22,590 --> 00:21:24,380 - Это смешно! - Спасибо!
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:27,760 Я Сьюзан, шутница!

00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,608 <i>You know why I love drinking during the day?</i>
00:00:03,608 --> 00:00:04,910 Because I'm drunk.
00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:06,781 [all cheer] To drinking!
00:00:06,781 --> 00:00:08,216 You want to hear a joke?
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:12,124 Why do unicorns always walk into the tub backwards?
00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:15,430 [laughter and jeers]
00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:19,640 My man, tell us about your bold new lower human wear.
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,976 I call them pants.
00:00:20,976 --> 00:00:23,080 It's as if each leg has its own toga.
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,017 Well done. To pants!
00:00:25,017 --> 00:00:26,587 [chuckles] I like this guy.
00:00:26,587 --> 00:00:27,755 A round on me then.
00:00:27,755 --> 00:00:29,793 - Okay, but... - What?
00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:31,096 Well, is your friend gonna
00:00:31,096 --> 00:00:32,532 stay in his funny joke clothing?
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,905 Because it seems like everyone's done laughing, so...
00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,776 Oh, that's fine. They're not just funny.
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:38,844 They're practical. Look.
00:00:38,844 --> 00:00:40,014 If I drop something, I can just--
00:00:40,014 --> 00:00:40,982 [crowd yelling] - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:00:40,982 --> 00:00:41,951 We don't bend over in public.
00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:42,953 Well, that's a rule
00:00:42,953 --> 00:00:44,255 based on togas though.
00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:45,959 Think about it. - You think about it!
00:00:45,959 --> 00:00:46,960 all: Yeah!
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,129 Here's a pitch:
00:00:48,129 --> 00:00:50,134 why don't we all stop thinking as a team
00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,604 on the count of drinks.
00:00:51,604 --> 00:00:52,405 It's disruptive.
00:00:52,405 --> 00:00:54,241 You gotta take that off or leave.
00:00:54,241 --> 00:00:56,246 - Take off my pants? - Well, no, no.
00:00:56,246 --> 00:00:58,216 I'm not learning your new language for them.
00:00:58,216 --> 00:01:00,253 You can be naked like a creature
00:01:00,253 --> 00:01:04,729 or wear a toga like a person if you want to drink here.
00:01:04,729 --> 00:01:05,965 I would like to drink here.
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,034 [crowd murmuring]
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:09,238 And I'll be doing it in pants.
00:01:09,238 --> 00:01:10,407 [crowd yelling] - You know what?
00:01:10,508 --> 00:01:13,079 This establishment has just lost my business
00:01:13,079 --> 00:01:15,151 and the punchline to my unicorn joke,
00:01:15,151 --> 00:01:18,658 which I assure you was delightfully erotic
00:01:18,658 --> 00:01:19,960 and mildly racist.
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,864 [yelling continues]
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:24,836 <i>[dramatic lyre music]</i>
00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:32,217 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:01:38,096 --> 00:01:41,035 <i>[rhythmic grunting]</i>
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,739 <i>♪ ♪</i>
00:01:42,739 --> 00:01:44,609 <i>all: Whoo!</i>
00:01:46,947 --> 00:01:48,484 <i>[whistles]</i>
00:01:48,585 --> 00:01:50,889 Two more citizens eaten outside the walls--
00:01:50,889 --> 00:01:51,857 monstadon.
00:01:51,857 --> 00:01:52,959 Again?
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,128 Aren't monstadons supposed to be
00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:55,532 <i>roaming</i> man-eaters?
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,303 Perhaps they noticed man stopped roaming.
00:01:58,403 --> 00:02:00,975 I'm glad modern life's working out for someone.
00:02:00,975 --> 00:02:02,979 Stupendous, do baby bro a solid.
00:02:02,979 --> 00:02:04,048 Slay a monstadon?
00:02:04,048 --> 00:02:05,685 I can't today. I got a thing.
00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:06,385 A thing?
00:02:06,485 --> 00:02:08,157 Lots of people tell their bosses
00:02:08,157 --> 00:02:09,292 when they have a thing.
00:02:09,292 --> 00:02:11,362 Okay, I have a head to crush
00:02:11,362 --> 00:02:13,935 with my bare hands one question from now.
00:02:13,935 --> 00:02:14,903 I won't keep you.
00:02:14,903 --> 00:02:16,339 You can't crush my head.
00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:18,343 What thing do you have? - It's none of your business.
00:02:18,343 --> 00:02:21,082 And if you turn into an animal and follow me, I'll know.
00:02:21,082 --> 00:02:22,819 You're hardly that intriguing.
00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:24,322 Don't flatter yourself.
00:02:24,322 --> 00:02:26,660 Mom, can you deal with this monstadon?
00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:27,896 Uh, maybe.
00:02:27,896 --> 00:02:30,034 I--I might have a thing.
00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:32,071 [quietly] Intriguing little bitch.
00:02:32,071 --> 00:02:34,342 I'd love to hunt this monstadon down.
00:02:34,342 --> 00:02:36,848 What kind of coward sends his differently abled brother
00:02:36,848 --> 00:02:37,849 to fight a monster?
00:02:37,849 --> 00:02:39,051 A busy coward?
00:02:39,051 --> 00:02:40,254 - Am I busy? - Son,
00:02:40,254 --> 00:02:42,526 a human friend of mine has just been
00:02:42,526 --> 00:02:45,364 refused beverage service because of his clothing.
00:02:45,364 --> 00:02:47,468 Really? It appears not all monsters
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,339 are slain with weapons in the woods.
00:02:49,339 --> 00:02:51,075 Yeah, you slay that one.
00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:52,946 I'll grab a weapon and head for the woods.
00:02:52,946 --> 00:02:54,683 Teamwork.
00:02:54,683 --> 00:02:56,252 Okay, uh--
00:02:56,252 --> 00:02:57,823 - They're pants. - They?
00:02:57,823 --> 00:02:59,091 There's more than one?
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,327 You know what this reminds me of?
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:05,304 Remember that Ethiopian fella with the, uh--the nutty tunic?
00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:06,673 - Shirt. - The shirt!
00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:09,145 It's like an upside-down shirt for your ass.
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,046 So what's the problem?
00:03:10,046 --> 00:03:12,250 We were forcibly ejected from a bar!
00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,956 Have you ever left a bar voluntarily, Dad?
00:03:14,956 --> 00:03:16,092 Fair point. No way of knowing.
00:03:16,092 --> 00:03:17,394 I don't mean to be rude.
00:03:17,494 --> 00:03:19,900 Can I ask what happens when you have to,
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,837 you know, release the kraken?
00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:22,806 I pull them down.
00:03:22,806 --> 00:03:23,874 Pull them down?
00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:24,976 Okay, but then you're
00:03:24,976 --> 00:03:26,747 squatting over a net, which--
00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:27,749 [scoffs] Look, I'm sorry.
00:03:27,883 --> 00:03:30,320 It's not your job to defend or explain what you do.
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,990 Krapopolis is a free city.
00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:33,226 Good show, son.
00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:34,362 So you'll speak to the bar.
00:03:34,362 --> 00:03:35,297 Whoa. [chuckles]
00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,167 What do you want me to do, pass a law?
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:38,170 I don't want anything.
00:03:38,170 --> 00:03:39,305 I don't do politics.
00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:41,276 But it's the only bar.
00:03:41,276 --> 00:03:42,612 A law would be great.
00:03:42,612 --> 00:03:44,549 Yeah, everyone always thinks that.
00:03:44,549 --> 00:03:46,419 But freedom's a double-edged sword--
00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:49,058 or a double-sleeved ass tunic.
00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:50,327 You get to wear anything you want.
00:03:50,327 --> 00:03:52,231 The bar gets to serve whoever they want.
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,002 Everyone gets to blame the results on me,
00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:55,137 and I get my own chef.
00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:56,238 It's a pretty good system.
00:03:56,238 --> 00:03:57,742 Nice to meet you. Love the pants.
00:03:57,742 --> 00:04:00,280 They got me out of a terrifying monster hunt.
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,117 If you're not a fan of unicorns,
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,888 but you're a fan of sodomy,
00:04:03,888 --> 00:04:06,392 have I got a joke for you.
00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:09,666 [pig snorting, monstadon growling]
00:04:13,373 --> 00:04:15,377 Buddy, you are ugly.
00:04:15,377 --> 00:04:17,548 And that's me talking.
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,218 What the--
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,122 [grunting]
00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:25,030 You're that hot tree lady from that horrible party.
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,365 Check out last week's episode,
00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:28,169 curated on the Block Chain.
00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:29,606 There's an order to the forest.
00:04:29,706 --> 00:04:31,476 We don't just kill what doesn't please us.
00:04:31,476 --> 00:04:32,578 [scoffs] I don't think
00:04:32,679 --> 00:04:34,849 your friend over there knows the rules.
00:04:36,687 --> 00:04:38,524 It's not killing. It's feeding.
00:04:38,524 --> 00:04:41,295 [scoffs] Does the food share that perspective?
00:04:41,295 --> 00:04:42,398 [monstadon growls]
00:04:42,498 --> 00:04:44,067 You'll have to let me know.
00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:47,374 [monstadon growling and snarling]
00:04:50,515 --> 00:04:52,217 - [grunts] - You're alive.
00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:53,955 No thanks to nature.
00:04:53,955 --> 00:04:55,758 [monstadon snarling]
00:04:55,758 --> 00:04:57,728 [both yelping]
00:05:02,905 --> 00:05:05,343 Uh, I--I feel like it doesn't know you're on its side.
00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:07,682 - Grow up. - You can't make me!
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,688 [birds chirping]
00:05:16,365 --> 00:05:18,035 Hail, everybody.
00:05:18,035 --> 00:05:19,673 all: Hail our great hero!
00:05:19,673 --> 00:05:21,877 The ill-tempered, foulmouthed,
00:05:21,877 --> 00:05:25,150 and extremely pungent Fantabulous!
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,021 Don't forget impatient.
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:28,991 So next time, keep it short.
00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:30,126 What's our next quest?
00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:31,764 Fantabulous?
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:32,766 Quest?
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:33,466 Hero?
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,270 [twig snaps, deer bleats]
00:05:35,270 --> 00:05:36,940 [scoffs] Push on, bucko.
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:37,976 You're in over your antlers.
00:05:37,976 --> 00:05:39,947 And so we set out
00:05:39,947 --> 00:05:41,449 for the peaks of Olygyrtos
00:05:41,449 --> 00:05:44,155 to retrieve the fabled Helmet of Iapetus.
00:05:44,155 --> 00:05:45,157 - Huzzah! - Yeah!
00:05:45,157 --> 00:05:46,927 Hey! [magical thwap]
00:05:47,027 --> 00:05:48,296 It came from over there,
00:05:48,296 --> 00:05:51,202 by the deer next to the pile of ashes.
00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:53,172 I may have been followed.
00:05:53,172 --> 00:05:55,010 I'll meet you guys at the ice caves.
00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:56,045 Go.
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,688 I say don't do this, so you do it?
00:06:00,688 --> 00:06:04,395 Why are you heroically questing under a fake name?
00:06:04,395 --> 00:06:06,232 If it's escapism, shouldn't your character be
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,002 feminine and hygienic?
00:06:08,002 --> 00:06:09,706 I can make you those things.
00:06:09,706 --> 00:06:12,344 I've been offering since puberty.
00:06:12,344 --> 00:06:14,682 I'm escapism-ing from you, Mom!
00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:16,786 I don't mind being known as your daughter,
00:06:16,786 --> 00:06:19,225 but I don't want everything I've accomplished
00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:20,460 to be attached to your name.
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:21,763 [scoffs] Too bad!
00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:24,302 Why do you think the gods make children?
00:06:24,302 --> 00:06:26,372 They're drunk and horny.
00:06:26,372 --> 00:06:27,809 I mean, why do we keep them?
00:06:27,809 --> 00:06:30,815 Because they might become heroes and make us proud.
00:06:30,815 --> 00:06:33,621 Now I find out you've been doing it behind my back?
00:06:33,621 --> 00:06:35,624 Well, happy your birthday to me.
00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:37,294 If you can't support me having
00:06:37,294 --> 00:06:38,731 something that isn't about you,
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,467 then I got no reason to be your daughter.
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:41,970 Well, guess what?
00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:45,310 If you can't include me in this and let me prove you wrong,
00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:47,815 I'll make sure everyone in the world knows
00:06:47,815 --> 00:06:48,751 I'm your mother.
00:06:48,884 --> 00:06:52,190 This is the most insulting showdown of my life.
00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:54,529 [wind whistling]
00:06:54,529 --> 00:06:57,468 Okay, so apparently I was followed.
00:06:57,468 --> 00:06:59,472 But it's okay. It was just...
00:06:59,472 --> 00:07:02,244 [sighs] My friend Susan.
00:07:02,244 --> 00:07:05,383 Hello, it's Susan, the funny one.
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,756 I enjoy eating food, drinking liquids,
00:07:07,756 --> 00:07:09,859 and breathing in and out.
00:07:09,859 --> 00:07:11,529 [sighs]
00:07:14,035 --> 00:07:15,270 [electrical zapping]
00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:17,007 - [yells] - [grunts]
00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:18,811 [monster growling]
00:07:18,911 --> 00:07:19,879 [grunts]
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:24,187 [yelling]
00:07:24,187 --> 00:07:27,228 [both grunting]
00:07:27,228 --> 00:07:29,666 Isn't she something?
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:32,539 Comments weren't part of the deal, Susan.
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,709 We're nothing without Fantabulous.
00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:37,615 Weird question--does that ever make you resent her?
00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:39,519 Resent her? We're a team!
00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:42,290 But that doesn't make you want to sneak off
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,593 and do things without her.
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,496 Hey, Susan, your head's normal,
00:07:45,496 --> 00:07:48,269 so it does stop talking if I put a fist through it.
00:07:48,269 --> 00:07:49,505 - Whoa. - Uh, yikes.
00:07:49,505 --> 00:07:50,674 [chuckling] Not my place to say,
00:07:50,674 --> 00:07:52,746 but I'm not sure Susan deserved that.
00:07:52,746 --> 00:07:56,185 Yeah, she almost celebrates how humble and ordinary she is.
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,320 Which I find refreshing.
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,356 Can we get going?
00:07:58,356 --> 00:07:59,392 Lot of ground to cover.
00:07:59,392 --> 00:08:01,630 Yes, and we cannot fly.
00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:03,935 It is cold in here, correct?
00:08:03,935 --> 00:08:04,736 Brrr!
00:08:04,836 --> 00:08:06,606 We get cold when we're around ice.
00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:08,142 I am certain that's accurate.
00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:09,211 [laughter]
00:08:09,211 --> 00:08:10,815 Susan, you are a delight.
00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:13,687 - Oh, absolutely. - Uh-huh, yep, she is.
00:08:15,725 --> 00:08:17,261 Hold on. My torch is low.
00:08:17,261 --> 00:08:18,598 You must be devastated
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,433 that there's nothing to burn down here.
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,468 I can see. Follow me.
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,106 Okay, but--
00:08:23,106 --> 00:08:24,375 [whimpering]
00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:25,377 Are you crying?
00:08:25,377 --> 00:08:26,446 No.
00:08:26,446 --> 00:08:28,215 I hear the same sound.
00:08:28,215 --> 00:08:29,452 I think it's a freak draft
00:08:29,452 --> 00:08:31,255 or a sad stalagmite.
00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:32,725 You're afraid of the dark.
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,862 In science we call that a theory.
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,201 Good luck proving it. [sniffling]
00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:38,336 What's with the worm?
00:08:38,336 --> 00:08:39,506 It's part of the natural world,
00:08:39,506 --> 00:08:41,108 emits light without you chopping it down.
00:08:41,108 --> 00:08:42,845 But you don't need it, so I'll just--
00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:44,849 Keep the worm on! Keep the worm on!
00:08:44,849 --> 00:08:47,421 - What does science call that? - Bullying.
00:08:47,421 --> 00:08:49,458 [shouting and jeering]
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:51,095 Stop! Break it up!
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:51,896 Now what?
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,134 Pants Guy tried to get back into the bar!
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,369 Because I like drinking!
00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,208 And I wear pants!
00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:58,476 Okay, first of all,
00:08:58,476 --> 00:09:00,948 this city's angry mob threshold is too low.
00:09:00,948 --> 00:09:01,683 [mob yelling]
00:09:01,683 --> 00:09:03,654 Sounds like you know I'm right!
00:09:03,654 --> 00:09:05,356 Dad? [boos and jeers]
00:09:05,356 --> 00:09:07,427 Now you're protecting Pants Guy?
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:09,465 - Pants Guy has a name. - And I don't?
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,235 I'll learn yours when you learn his.
00:09:11,235 --> 00:09:12,370 What's his?
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,208 [spluttering] It doesn't matter.
00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:15,377 Just get back to your lives.
00:09:15,377 --> 00:09:16,346 Whatever, man! [mob grumbling]
00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:17,849 Yeah, grumble, grumble,
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,619 worst king ever-- like I'm the problem.
00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:20,922 Thanks for a tough lesson, by the way.
00:09:20,922 --> 00:09:23,794 I'd rather be fighting a monstadon.
00:09:25,263 --> 00:09:26,265 This is the same cavern.
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:27,467 No, it's not.
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,238 Daphne, I'm not just being a dick.
00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:30,674 I marked this rock, see?
00:09:30,674 --> 00:09:32,343 [sighs] I'm getting weak.
00:09:32,343 --> 00:09:33,680 We're pretty far from the trees.
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,383 That's where you get your power, right?
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,354 What? You're not supposed to know that.
00:09:37,454 --> 00:09:39,091 I research. I learn.
00:09:39,091 --> 00:09:41,328 Nobody's supposed to know anything.
00:09:41,328 --> 00:09:42,732 I'm not supposed to walk.
00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:44,702 The weak aren't supposed to be strong.
00:09:44,702 --> 00:09:47,407 I'm supposed to be sucking algae off a rock in--
00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:48,644 In the darkness.
00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:50,648 Nature's order isn't fair.
00:09:50,648 --> 00:09:51,750 I could make you equipment
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,353 that would let you leave the forest.
00:09:53,353 --> 00:09:54,956 The forest is leaving me.
00:09:54,956 --> 00:09:58,630 Your city eats trees and craps... crap.
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,399 And you never researched the monstadon,
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,505 or you'd know you can keep it away from your city
00:10:02,505 --> 00:10:04,643 with giant scorpion urine.
00:10:04,743 --> 00:10:08,416 Giant scorpion urine, of course!
00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:10,688 I don't suppose nature makes explosions?
00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:12,792 I could fracture this rock at the base.
00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:13,961 Have you tried these mushrooms?
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:16,098 No, thanks. I take a lot of stuff
00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:18,871 just to stay focused, and I probably shouldn't mix.
00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:21,175 No, we light them, and they explode.
00:10:21,175 --> 00:10:23,445 We give them to human children and say they're candy.
00:10:23,445 --> 00:10:24,481 It's hilarious.
00:10:24,481 --> 00:10:25,584 Killing kids... [chuckles]
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,622 Yeah, I can see how that's funny.
00:10:27,622 --> 00:10:29,157 Okay, my arrows are made of flint.
00:10:29,157 --> 00:10:31,630 We'll need a lot of these and some kind of, um,
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,299 sticky substance.
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,568 That I've got covered,
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,673 or I'm covered in very naturally.
00:10:36,673 --> 00:10:38,510 Holding your hand was disgusting.
00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:40,280 That's just my reproductive jelly.
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:41,983 You'll get used to it, Mom.
00:10:41,983 --> 00:10:43,654 - I'm sorry, what? - I'm kidding.
00:10:43,654 --> 00:10:46,158 It's mostly mucus.
00:10:46,158 --> 00:10:48,930 [creatures screeching]
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:51,201 Harpies!
00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:52,070 Again?
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:54,040 We don't go into their nest and kill them.
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,347 Oh, no, wait. We actually did do that before.
00:10:57,347 --> 00:10:58,551 My bad. [Harpies shrieking]
00:10:58,551 --> 00:11:00,621 all: Huzzah! - So great!
00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:04,729 I can't wait to tell my human parents about this adventure!
00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:06,065 Does everyone here share
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,637 their accomplishments with your families,
00:11:08,637 --> 00:11:12,612 or are--are you kind of selfish and isolated?
00:11:12,612 --> 00:11:14,849 [quietly] What? - You call this supporting me?
00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:16,986 I'm putting up with a lot here, girl.
00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:19,357 Do you know how much I'm pretending my feet hurt?
00:11:19,357 --> 00:11:20,661 Oh, no!
00:11:20,661 --> 00:11:22,731 Another Harpy!
00:11:22,731 --> 00:11:24,401 - Wait, what? - We're coming!
00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:27,340 They're all attacking Susan!
00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:30,013 You wouldn't.
00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:32,785 You would. You'd murder Susan,
00:11:32,785 --> 00:11:35,156 because you can't share a sliver of attention.
00:11:35,156 --> 00:11:38,395 Or Susan's just fine, because you can't.
00:11:38,395 --> 00:11:40,534 Almost there! Hold on!
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,670 It's too late.
00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,239 She's gone.
00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:48,950 [flatly] Help!
00:11:49,786 --> 00:11:51,857 both: No! - Susan, no!
00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:55,463 I really, really, really, really liked her!
00:11:55,463 --> 00:11:56,933 Yeah, she knew the risks.
00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:59,271 We'll give her a hero's funeral.
00:11:59,271 --> 00:12:01,810 Susan hated funerals. She said when she died,
00:12:01,810 --> 00:12:04,348 she wanted everyone to forget she ever lived
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:05,784 and go back to questing.
00:12:05,885 --> 00:12:07,487 I was considering asking her out.
00:12:07,487 --> 00:12:09,959 I can see that. She was plainer than the type
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:12,832 you tend to pursue, but you've always been self-destructive.
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,036 Well, you know, my mom was such a big personality.
00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:16,840 Yep, and then we look for our moms
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,810 because we want to revisit and fix things.
00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:20,815 And then we treat women like garbage
00:12:20,815 --> 00:12:21,984 because we're babies.
00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:25,925 A real man, a confident, mature man ends up with a Susan
00:12:25,925 --> 00:12:27,562 and straight up worships her.
00:12:27,562 --> 00:12:28,830 We'll do that tonight,
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:32,103 an altar and a prayer to our goddess, Susan!
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:33,439 both: Susan!
00:12:33,439 --> 00:12:35,143 [groans]
00:12:35,143 --> 00:12:36,178 There you are.
00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:39,452 Wow, those idiots out there really want you
00:12:39,452 --> 00:12:40,554 to take off your pants.
00:12:40,554 --> 00:12:41,556 What about you?
00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:42,725 I can't stress enough
00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:44,461 how little I care, buddy.
00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:45,496 Let me tell you a secret.
00:12:45,496 --> 00:12:47,367 I didn't start a city because I respect people.
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,106 If there were a better, safer job that I could pull off
00:12:50,106 --> 00:12:52,277 more convincingly by talking to less of them,
00:12:52,277 --> 00:12:52,945 I'd be out of here.
00:12:52,945 --> 00:12:54,749 The idea that someone's pants
00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:56,185 could end up costing me everything--
00:12:56,185 --> 00:12:59,659 I mean, not just me, the whole city, people's lives.
00:12:59,659 --> 00:13:01,328 I mean, it's ridiculous!
00:13:01,328 --> 00:13:02,497 It's pointless!
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:03,600 You agree with that, right?
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,102 It's--it's point--
00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:07,741 Where's Pants Guy?
00:13:07,741 --> 00:13:08,777 He was here, but--
00:13:08,777 --> 00:13:10,480 Did you say something to him?
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,583 I mean, nothing new.
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:12,619 You know my position.
00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:13,654 I know you don't have one.
00:13:13,654 --> 00:13:14,856 Which is the one to have.
00:13:14,856 --> 00:13:15,957 I don't disagree.
00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:18,362 I've always liked that about you.
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,372 Okay, we better find him before he gets killed.
00:13:23,372 --> 00:13:24,842 Pants Guy!
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,813 We are gathered to honor Susan,
00:13:26,813 --> 00:13:28,416 which was not my idea.
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,721 She was more powerful than people know,
00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:32,692 did not like letting go of that power.
00:13:32,692 --> 00:13:34,929 In fact, she was such a control freak,
00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:36,834 I'm pretty shocked she can handle laying here
00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:38,002 without interrupting.
00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,772 - Oof. - Shouldn't gallows humor
00:13:39,772 --> 00:13:41,510 have more humor?
00:13:41,510 --> 00:13:43,780 Yeah, the goal isn't typically
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,450 to take the deceased down a peg.
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,385 Well, guess what?
00:13:46,385 --> 00:13:48,188 I knew the real Susan, and you guys didn't.
00:13:48,188 --> 00:13:50,661 So you can let me get some stuff off my chest,
00:13:50,661 --> 00:13:52,130 or you can be the next funeral.
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:53,633 - And that's fine too. - Fair enough.
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,736 Yes, yes. Okay. All right.
00:13:54,736 --> 00:13:56,138 Are you sure this is gonna work?
00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,443 That's definitely one of two possibilities.
00:13:58,443 --> 00:13:59,478 - The other? - Mm.
00:13:59,478 --> 00:14:01,081 We die buried under a mountain of rubble.
00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:04,354 Well, at least I'd get to die with a friend.
00:14:04,354 --> 00:14:05,122 The worm?
00:14:05,223 --> 00:14:07,695 That thing doesn't even have a face!
00:14:07,695 --> 00:14:09,532 Oh, you meant me.
00:14:09,532 --> 00:14:11,302 That's... nice.
00:14:11,302 --> 00:14:13,773 For the record, I'd rather us both survive.
00:14:13,773 --> 00:14:15,845 Obviously, that's my preference too.
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,115 Okay, here we go.
00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:25,063 [panting]
00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:27,333 - We did it! - There's so much light!
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,271 I love nature!
00:14:29,271 --> 00:14:29,940 I love science!
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:32,744 - Nature! - Science!
00:14:32,744 --> 00:14:34,783 [monstadon growling] both: Monstadon!
00:14:34,783 --> 00:14:36,284 [monstadon snarls and screeches]
00:14:37,286 --> 00:14:38,256 There he is.
00:14:38,256 --> 00:14:40,661 I guess he'd rather be somewhere free.
00:14:40,661 --> 00:14:43,232 I think the lesson here is that if you give things
00:14:43,232 --> 00:14:45,770 enough time, most issues work themselves out.
00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:47,541 [screaming]
00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:49,512 [monstadon roars]
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,820 And then there was this time she left me on a raft--
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:55,891 and by raft, I mean a scrap of wood--
00:14:55,891 --> 00:14:58,463 so she could go to an underwater orgy
00:14:58,463 --> 00:14:59,832 at Poseidon's palace.
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:00,867 Are you having fun?
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,404 [all exclaim] - Susan's alive!
00:15:02,404 --> 00:15:04,408 Susan, I love you!
00:15:04,408 --> 00:15:05,611 But why don't you bleed?
00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:07,447 For the same reason you don't have a shot,
00:15:07,447 --> 00:15:08,215 you gangly dork.
00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:10,888 I'm an Olympian goddess. [all gasp]
00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:13,727 I'm also this ungrateful meatball's mother,
00:15:13,727 --> 00:15:15,697 which is apparently the worst thing
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,502 that has ever happened to her!
00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:18,637 Uh, yeah.
00:15:18,637 --> 00:15:19,973 And will you ever let
00:15:19,973 --> 00:15:22,009 the Poseidon thing go?
00:15:22,009 --> 00:15:25,717 What was I supposed to do, bring a child to an orgy?
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,588 It was underwater!
00:15:27,588 --> 00:15:28,723 I warned you.
00:15:28,723 --> 00:15:30,861 I am never speaking to you again.
00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:32,430 Now go away!
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,602 Wait, hold on. We have a goddess
00:15:34,602 --> 00:15:35,937 in our adventuring party?
00:15:35,937 --> 00:15:37,006 She's not in our party.
00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:39,712 Unless that's something you think you'd want.
00:15:39,712 --> 00:15:41,048 - What? - But my daughter can't
00:15:41,048 --> 00:15:43,887 be around me, so I guess you have to choose.
00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:44,889 - What? - Uh, you.
00:15:44,889 --> 00:15:46,593 - We choose you! - I love you!
00:15:46,693 --> 00:15:47,895 You're the worst!
00:15:47,895 --> 00:15:49,599 You made that clear.
00:15:49,599 --> 00:15:51,401 And contrary to your eulogy,
00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:52,738 I do have feelings.
00:15:52,738 --> 00:15:54,308 So mean!
00:15:54,308 --> 00:15:55,210 I'm on your mom's side.
00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:57,782 You're a bad daughter. - Yes, but you don't
00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:59,484 get to say that. - Yes, ma'am.
00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:06,098 That was so easy.
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,568 I can't believe your daughter was actually
00:16:07,568 --> 00:16:09,070 choosing to do things the hard way.
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:11,509 - Setting herself up to fail. - Well, it's annoying.
00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:13,747 We could have been questing the Deliria way all along.
00:16:13,747 --> 00:16:16,820 Yes, the good news is, everything comes easier to me.
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,924 The bad news is, that includes getting bored.
00:16:18,924 --> 00:16:20,126 Let's finish this up.
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:22,063 Hmm. You and Fantabulous
00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:24,000 are very similar in that regard.
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,873 Can you magically zap out that helmet for us?
00:16:26,873 --> 00:16:28,308 Ugh.
00:16:28,308 --> 00:16:29,344 Zap.
00:16:32,016 --> 00:16:33,953 We did it. Hooray. Quest over.
00:16:33,953 --> 00:16:35,591 Let's go home and never do this again.
00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:37,193 Nay, the quest continues!
00:16:37,193 --> 00:16:40,065 There may be more adventure ahead.
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,869 Jeez, first time questing much?
00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:44,542 [laughter]
00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:46,178 Told you, adventure.
00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:47,314 You coming? - I only did this
00:16:47,414 --> 00:16:50,788 so I could spend some time with my stupid idiot daughter.
00:16:50,788 --> 00:16:52,224 And now I'm stuck with you,
00:16:52,224 --> 00:16:55,129 her even bigger stupid idiot "friends"
00:16:55,129 --> 00:16:57,033 who literally abandoned her at the drop of a--
00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:59,304 [foundation rumbling, all yelling]
00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:04,782 [roars]
00:17:04,782 --> 00:17:05,817 [groans]
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,119 Hey, Deliria!
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,390 Remember when you and your Olympic butt-buddies
00:17:09,491 --> 00:17:11,762 imprisoned me thousands of years ago?
00:17:11,762 --> 00:17:12,865 Iapetus?
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,100 Why is a Titan here?
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,937 Is this a normal part of your whole thing?
00:17:15,937 --> 00:17:17,942 No! I don't know what this is!
00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:20,480 [screaming]
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,281 Good God!
00:17:21,382 --> 00:17:23,018 Is that what's inside all mortals?
00:17:23,018 --> 00:17:24,054 [both yelling]
00:17:24,054 --> 00:17:25,958 Yeah, same basic setup.
00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:27,594 And now to deal with you.
00:17:28,596 --> 00:17:31,468 That has never happened to me before, I swear.
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:33,974 You and the rest of those bastard Olympians
00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:36,111 buried me in a pit for all eternity!
00:17:36,111 --> 00:17:37,380 And it wasn't even a nice pit!
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,351 No, that was all the other Olympians!
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:42,123 I tried to stop them. I was like, guys, no.
00:17:42,123 --> 00:17:44,161 Not cool. Iapetus is the best.
00:17:44,161 --> 00:17:45,998 - Liar! - Well, yes, obviously.
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,101 Like you'd be super honest in my situation.
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,073 - [growling] - [yelps]
00:17:50,073 --> 00:17:51,709 I've always thought you were handsome,
00:17:51,709 --> 00:17:52,911 not in the traditional sense.
00:17:52,911 --> 00:17:54,982 But as horrific Titans go, you're a 10!
00:17:54,982 --> 00:17:57,655 - [growling] - [yells]
00:17:57,655 --> 00:18:00,393 You came back to save me!
00:18:00,393 --> 00:18:03,298 That's what epic heroes of legend do.
00:18:03,298 --> 00:18:04,601 Oh, and all your friends are dead.
00:18:04,601 --> 00:18:06,806 You're actually standing in some of them right now.
00:18:06,806 --> 00:18:07,841 Ugh.
00:18:07,841 --> 00:18:11,214 [roaring]
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:13,653 [grunts]
00:18:15,924 --> 00:18:17,394 Okay, now I'm out of ideas.
00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:19,130 We need to get him back in his hole
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,601 and put some of that magic dirt on top.
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:23,272 It's enchanted to weigh as much as the entire world.
00:18:23,272 --> 00:18:25,176 That's the only way to trap a Titan.
00:18:25,176 --> 00:18:27,180 That's right, magic dirt.
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:29,151 I'm gonna need something sturdier than this.
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,654 I suppose I could conjure you up--
00:18:30,754 --> 00:18:32,123 ooh!
00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:33,125 - [yelling] - [shrieking]
00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:34,662 - [grunting] - Aah!
00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:36,498 Oof!
00:18:36,498 --> 00:18:39,505 [grunting]
00:18:40,774 --> 00:18:42,210 [groaning]
00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:44,815 And that's how you take out a Titan.
00:18:44,815 --> 00:18:45,984 We did it!
00:18:45,984 --> 00:18:47,554 Well, mostly you.
00:18:47,554 --> 00:18:48,455 Let's go home.
00:18:48,455 --> 00:18:50,125 This is probably the concussion talking,
00:18:50,225 --> 00:18:51,863 but I am very proud of you.
00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:53,132 We make a pretty good team.
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,367 We're never doing this again.
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,171 No, not in a million years.
00:18:59,011 --> 00:19:01,314 Oh, hey, scorpion urine!
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,586 And I didn't nail it to a tree.
00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:04,822 That's nice.
00:19:04,922 --> 00:19:06,324 This still doesn't end well though.
00:19:06,324 --> 00:19:09,063 The forest has to kill the city or die trying.
00:19:09,063 --> 00:19:10,834 I respect that!
00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:12,437 I respect you.
00:19:12,437 --> 00:19:13,907 Goodbye.
00:19:13,907 --> 00:19:15,409 Bye.
00:19:17,681 --> 00:19:18,583 [crowd murmuring]
00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:19,819 [all gasping]
00:19:19,819 --> 00:19:20,921 My word!
00:19:20,921 --> 00:19:23,659 [murmuring continues]
00:19:25,263 --> 00:19:28,135 Starting today, I'll be wearing pants.
00:19:28,135 --> 00:19:29,872 I'll also be declaring new laws,
00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:31,174 laws you won't like
00:19:31,174 --> 00:19:33,211 because they will be laws that guarantee freedom,
00:19:33,211 --> 00:19:36,117 and they can only do that by taking freedom away.
00:19:36,117 --> 00:19:37,487 That's what happens when spoiled children
00:19:37,487 --> 00:19:40,093 abuse their toys-- they get confiscated.
00:19:40,093 --> 00:19:41,261 We drove a man into danger
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,131 because we wanted to feel comfort.
00:19:43,131 --> 00:19:47,006 We found a person inconvenient, so we killed him, together,
00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:48,241 without lifting a finger.
00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:50,880 <i>That's the power of freedom,</i>
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:55,089 <i>power we are not allowed to play with until we grow up.</i>
00:19:55,089 --> 00:19:57,294 <i>And we are going to grow up.</i>
00:19:57,294 --> 00:19:59,264 <i>We are going to get our crap together.</i>
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,267 <i>We are going to get big and strong.</i>
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,305 <i>We're going to change how we treat each other,</i>
00:20:03,406 --> 00:20:06,746 <i>and that's how we're going to change the entire world.</i>
00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:09,518 And that's why I'm gonna be famous.
00:20:09,518 --> 00:20:12,156 W-we--we don't have to make that the priority.
00:20:12,256 --> 00:20:13,392 I'm just predicting that as a result.
00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:15,429 I'd like a moment of silence
00:20:15,429 --> 00:20:17,868 for whatever Pants Guy's name was.
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:20,205 Did anyone get his name?
00:20:20,205 --> 00:20:22,209 Is that a no, or is this the moment of silence?
00:20:22,209 --> 00:20:23,846 [crowd murmuring] - I didn't hear his name.
00:20:23,846 --> 00:20:25,182 - Sorry. - Shameful.
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:28,756 A moment of shameful silence for Pants Guy.
00:20:30,426 --> 00:20:32,296 I know I said I was going to wear these forever,
00:20:32,296 --> 00:20:33,567 but I think I've made my point,
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,402 and they're really pinching my crack.
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,140 Is it okay if I stop wearing these?
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,242 [crowd chattering] - Please.
00:20:38,242 --> 00:20:39,210 - Yeah, sure. - Sure, that's fine.
00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:40,881 - We don't mind. - Thank you.
00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:43,485 Shame on us, and thank you.
00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:48,094 And what's up with how when something pierces
00:20:48,094 --> 00:20:50,801 our mortal skin, red stuff comes out?
00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:53,105 I mean, red stuff much?
00:20:53,105 --> 00:20:56,445 [laughter]
00:20:56,445 --> 00:20:59,284 And what is up with tongues?
00:20:59,284 --> 00:21:02,156 We have to use our own mouth meat
00:21:02,156 --> 00:21:04,361 just to taste other meat?
00:21:04,361 --> 00:21:06,932 [laughs] Who came up with that?
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:10,439 [laughter]
00:21:10,439 --> 00:21:12,410 You told them it's her, didn't you?
00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:14,113 Seemed like the right thing to do.
00:21:14,113 --> 00:21:16,619 And our hair just keeps growing
00:21:16,619 --> 00:21:19,792 unless we cut it off, am I right?
00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:22,397 [laughter]
00:21:22,497 --> 00:21:24,334 - That's good! - Thank you!
00:21:24,434 --> 00:21:27,675 I'm Susan, the funny one!
00:21:27,675 --> 00:21:30,714 [laughter]
00:21:31,014 --> 00:21:32,617 <i>Did you get any of that?</i>
00:21:34,889 --> 00:21:35,857 <i>Bento.</i>

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